Am i over reacting??

Yeah I know if only u knew the whole story you would be horrified. But I love him and I do worry. I know the best advice would be to dump him but I think I wouldn't be able to cope without him. Yeah he's probably drunk but he promised to text me he shouldn't make promises if he isn't going to stick to them that just makes me trust him less!
 
I really do love him when we're together it's fine but when we're not I do worry. It's only when he goes out drinking that I worry. Not other times
 
Last night he was probably dribk and honestly just forgot and today he's probably still asleep or too hungover to use his phone! Sure he isn't doing it to upset you x
 
Sorry to be really blunt here, but you sound like a really really needy person and its possibly something that you need to address.

Needing to be texted and contacted all the time when he's on a night out with the lads is not ever going to go down well. He'll be out drinking, relaxing and having a good time, not in the corner texting. If he'd have had an accident, you'd have heard about it by now, and also, if something's going to happen to him, it will, regardless of you worrying and nattering about it.

The whole kissing someone else thing can b overcome, but sounds to me like that's something else that you need to work on. You'll never move on from it if you allow to be at the forefront of your mind every time he's out of your sight. If you genuinely do trust him and don't believe it will happen again, then put it to bed and let it be. If it is still a main concern for you then you need to either address it with him, or end the relationship.

The last thing you'd want here is to smother him so much he runs in the opposite direction. If hubs wanted me to text him every time I was out drinking with friends, he'd have another thing coming. He knows this, and to be honest if I sent him a text whilst I was out, then he'd think something was wrong and would be wondering why I wasn't just having a good time and was in a bar or a pub on my mobile phone??

Sorry if I've seemed harsh but your relationship doesn't sound healthy to me.
 
I agree with a lot of what Mrs S says here and really hope you can take the positive aspects from what she says and make some changes because as she says the relationship doesn't sound healthy.
I am also very insecure about hubby going out and we h?e been together over 20 years and its still an issue for me/us at times!
I try really hard to not put pressure on him to text etc when out as I know I will be dissapointed! I try and plan things to distract myself when he's out so I'm not tempted to text him and get upset if I don't get replies etc
The kissing thing sounds bad and sounds like there's more to the story too but these things can be got over but you both have to want that to happen.
Its sad to see you saying you couldn't be without him because of course you could it might not be what you want and hopefully you can sort things but don't just stay with someone for the sake of it because you are worth more xxx
 
Rosierose, I think a lot of the problem is that you're not keeping yourself busy and entertained so your sitting dwelling on what might or might not happen. You've decided to stay with him despite his initial mistake at the start of your relationship and despite your past experiences. Now it's down to you to make it work and show him your fun and interesting side. Sitting at home worrying is useless. Worrying won't stop anything happening, just make you miserable.
What do you like doing at the weekend when not with him? Have you got friends around you that you can get together with? Hobbies? A gym you can go to and pass some time productively? Life's really to short to be at home alone and fretting xx
 
It sounds to me as if you have no idea how to be on your own. And it is important for everyone to be able to deal with this. Whatever our relationships are, there will be times when the other person is not there, and we must learn to cope with this.

If he is away for the weekend, why aren't you? Why are you sitting at home fretting - why aren't you out somewhere having a good time too? Why aren't you shopping, going to the cinema, going to a gallery, going for a walk, clearing out the attic, starting a new project, watching several episodes of Downton Abbey back-to-back, whatever? Things you like doing with other people, or on your own.

Surely the days when women sat at home waiting for their menfolk to come home are long gone??
 
You shouldn't tar him with the same brush as your ex's. Your posts came across as quite needy & slightly controlling (as others have said). You could even end up driving him into someone else's arms (or lips). If you love him, chill out a bit - so what if your mates get texts off their BF, I bet there's things that your BF does for you that theirs don't. Jealousy is a waste of energy IMHO - you're only winding yourself up.
 
Yeah I know I went to an interview to become a sw consultant find out if I passed tomorrow I want something to channel my thoughts into besides him but he said to me he would be back for the football by 3 And he's still not home now. So I have wasted my whole day waiting for him and he didn't have the decency to text me to say we're just going for lunch were not leaving yet or nothing he's just inconsiderate and rude I think. And then he said he's on the way home now and it's bad fog I texted him and he didn't reply so I automatically think they have had an accident in the fog!! He doesn't understand my brother in law went out one day and ended up brain damaged! I worry about people!!
 
I have had councilling and I am on anti depressants. My home situation is Awkard so I can't really be home on the weekend much so he knows this. If he knew he would be out all day whats wrong with just telling me I won't be back til tonight so I could have made arrangements to go somewhere instead of waiting around for him like an idiot. But he sees that as checking in but it's not that at all. I actually fainted earlier while out shopping so I instantly called him and he didnt Answer so I text him and told him I just fainted and he didn't even bother replying :-(
 
He may not have known how long he would be and probably doesn't want to 'check in' I hate it when hubby goes out etc but I also hate it if I'm doing something and he pesters me about it. It sounds like you are really struggling. The thing is you probably aren't going to change his behaviour but you could possibly change the way you deal with things. Unfortunately there's a fair chance you will get taken for granted if you are constantly waiting for him etc do you go out etc with your friends?
 
Yeah I went out shopping with my friend to pass time but cant seem to enjoy anything I am really struggling with things I don't know how to deal with it properly.
 
There are lots of different types of counselling. Maybe try and get back in touch with your gp and explain the situation. Also explain that you didn't find the counselling beneficial last time and they may point you in a different direction.

What he did yesterday sounds really immature to be honest. I get that he's out with friends etc, but to make 0 contact is selfish.

Sounds like the two of you maybe need to try and find a happy medium? And I do think that no contact all day is unreasonable. Maybe get an explanation as to why, and whether he does think that it's acceptable? My first thought was that he was throwing his toys out of the pram and having a little protest because you do ask him to contact you so often?

Hugs Hun, and I really think you need to talk to somebody about how you're feeling xx
 
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