am i selfish

[losingit]

I think it is important to distinguish between what is selfish and what is just respecting yourself and your body.

If my close family or friends are on a diet then i feel it my pleasurable duty to help them as much as i can, by not eating chocolate biscuits in front of them, or making sure we go somewhere suitable for an evening out, giving them a kick if they ask for it, or whatever. I'd also expect the same back from them.

Your family/close friends are the people who you'd expect to be with you regardless of if you got yourself into a situation that was entirely your own fault. If i landed in jail, i'd hope my family would bail me out and still love me and support me regardless - likewise for if i made myself fat. If anything, i'd hope that they would be pleased that i was changing my life around because it benefits everyone around us when we are the best version of ourselves that we could ever hope to be. Being in a mutually supportive environment in this way is not always reality, but it's ideal at least as far as possible and is certainly conductive to success, not just in dieting but for every aspect of life and succeeding.... when we support each other we can do things which previously would have never been possible, and help others realise their dreams too. When people fully understand how you feel too, and they love you, they are often excited and can't wait for an opportunity to really help you get to where you want to be (and if they don't it could be either misunderstanding or that they have fears that need addressing, such as..."if you get really thin and pretty you might leave me" - that kind of thing - just my opinion).

 

[ShedMasterZero]

and if they don't it could be either misunderstanding or that they have fears that need addressing, such as..."if you get really thin and pretty you might leave me" - that kind of thing

Agree with your post above, but the quoted part is what I wanted to comment on.

A lot of people find change difficult. Fear holds them back from achieving many things. Being around someone else that is making big changes to their life isn't easy either. If a person is not able to take control of certain aspects in their own life, then it probably isn't easy for them to help someone else do it either. So maybe they really want to help, but just simply don't know how. Not only are they probably not sure what to do, but also it might be difficult for them to help when it is reminding them that they keep failing to help themselves.

Misunderstanding is so easy with such an extreme diet. Some people just can't grasp the concept and no matter how much you explain or how many times, it still won't sink in. Of course, there are always people that just plain refuse to open their minds to the idea, but that really only proves one thing. There is also misunderstanding of the persons desire to lose the weight to begin with. I suppose people get used to someone being overweight and don't really think about it. So when they embark on a very strict diet, they probably don't fully understand why - as they see us as being "normal".

 

[losingit]

great post deepthought, agree 100%. It is hard enough for us to come to terms with losing weight ourselves, and it is something we have chosen to do and really want, so for others looking in who are close it must be hard and feel scary / venturing into the unknown.