ProPoints Azwethinkweiz (Sarah)s new food diary!

[Dubchick81]

That's true, it's just very lonely with no friends around. Have to force myself not to withdraw to my room all the time.

Must read that article you're talking about. I got so sick of soup lol, haven't had it in ages now!! The thoughts of it makes my tummy squirm. I'll have to start trying it again!

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I love soup.. But I was just bored of having the same on repeatedly.. And I was doing that coz it was east to pour a bag of frozen carrots into a pot n add some corriander Laziness always takes over

I'm the same when it comes to being locked away in my bedroom.. I literally come to work, go home cook n shower, then go to my room... Can be very depressing and lonely even tho i'm not alone in the house..

 

[azwethinkweiz]

I love soup.. But I was just bored of having the same on repeatedly.. And I was doing that coz it was east to pour a bag of frozen carrots into a pot n add some corriander Laziness always takes over

I'm the same when it comes to being locked away in my bedroom.. I literally come to work, go home cook n shower, then go to my room... Can be very depressing and lonely even tho i'm not alone in the house..

I ended up having soup yesterday. It was supposed to be tomato and basil. I was wondering why my mouth was burning until I realized my dad had got tinned tomatoes with chillies LOL! Dat's a spiiiicy meataball!

I just read this and raised I've been sitting in my bedroom a couple hours now. Oops. Need to move. Have to keep talking to myself to get myself to do things... Does that sound mental lol?
I heard Mr.Know-it-all by Kelly Clarkson on the radio earlier. Hehe those lyrics remind me of Sean. I need some of that girl power!!

Having a couple of days where I just feel dreadful. BUT I am due totm and I always feel awful and low. My brain decided I'm a fat ugly lump today... I hate mirrors!!!!

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[Dubchick81]

I ended up having soup yesterday. It was supposed to be tomato and basil. I was wondering why my mouth was burning until I realized my dad had got tinned tomatoes with chillies LOL! Dat's a spiiiicy meataball!

I just read this and raised I've been sitting in my bedroom a couple hours now. Oops. Need to move. Have to keep talking to myself to get myself to do things... Does that sound mental lol?
I heard Mr.Know-it-all by Kelly Clarkson on the radio earlier. Hehe those lyrics remind me of Sean. I need some of that girl power!!

Having a couple of days where I just feel dreadful. BUT I am due totm and I always feel awful and low. My brain decided I'm a fat ugly lump today... I hate mirrors!!!!

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You are so far from fat or ugly that its not even visible.. But I know what you mean.. if your mind thinks it for a second its embedded!!
I woke up feeling FAT today as well

 

[brien77]

Sarah great news on the appointment. I hear ya about the lack of friends. I find the older ive become the harder it is to make new friends. Everyone is busy with their own lives. Im in athy 4 months now and still know no one.! Also can i just say francis u should be a therapist cos u give fantastic advise. Plus sarah u are def not fat or ugly. We have seen ur pic rem so we cant all be wrong in saying u look gorgeous xxx

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[*Claire-Bear*]

Sarah your gooooorgeous! if your that pretty on a picture then waaaaooowwww to you in real life (pics dont do ppl justice i think) but i get ya, we all have our ugly days where no matter what were told, we belive us n not the truth ... so dont beat yourself up honey xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Wishbird007]

Aw hunni dam that totm!! I got it too n i feel same!
Ur lovely we all know, u will get ur mojo bak once the dreaded evil totm has gone!
X ;-)

Mr know it all reminds me of Cruella! She thinks shes mrs know it all! Lol

 

[azwethinkweiz]

You are so far from fat or ugly that its not even visible.. But I know what you mean.. if your mind thinks it for a second its embedded!!
I woke up feeling FAT today as well

I can see fat and ugly in the mirror. I feel like it isn't fair that I'm so yucky when there's so many lovely good looking people, does that make sense?

Sarah great news on the appointment. I hear ya about the lack of friends. I find the older ive become the harder it is to make new friends. Everyone is busy with their own lives. Im in athy 4 months now and still know no one.! Also can i just say francis u should be a therapist cos u give fantastic advise. Plus sarah u are def not fat or ugly. We have seen ur pic rem so we cant all be wrong in saying u look gorgeous xxx

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Lol I think you're wrong. It's like I have this little bully on my shoulder that won't let me think anything positive. It's hard to explain but that's kinda what it's like. Like I'm my own worst enemy.
You're so kind though hon xx
It is so hard to make friends... & being so shy really doesn't help!

Sarah your gooooorgeous! if your that pretty on a picture then waaaaooowwww to you in real life (pics dont do ppl justice i think) but i get ya, we all have our ugly days where no matter what were told, we belive us n not the truth ... so dont beat yourself up honey xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I think you're mad that you think that. I also think you're such a kind person... You're the type of person who would never put someone down especially when they're already down. So I think even if you _did_ think I was ugly or fat, you would never say so. I still appreciate the kind words, you're lovely xxx

Aw hunni dam that totm!! I got it too n i feel same!
Ur lovely we all know, u will get ur mojo bak once the dreaded evil totm has gone!
X ;-)

Mr know it all reminds me of Cruella! She thinks shes mrs know it all! Lol

I always feel terrible around totm. And super bloated! I weigh heavier and I'm always really down! So annoying.

Hopefully I can get my mojo back completely soon. Then I can sing girly songs at the top of my voice and feel good hehe!
I hate "know-it-alls" like her or Sean. So irritating aren't they!? X

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[Wishbird007]

I can see fat and ugly in the mirror. I feel like it isn't fair that I'm so yucky when there's so many lovely good looking people, does that make sense?

Lol I think you're wrong. It's like I have this little bully on my shoulder that won't let me think anything positive. It's hard to explain but that's kinda what it's like. Like I'm my own worst enemy.
You're so kind though hon xx
It is so hard to make friends... & being so shy really doesn't help!

I think you're mad that you think that. I also think you're such a kind person... You're the type of person who would never put someone down especially when they're already down. So I think even if you _did_ think I was ugly or fat, you would never say so. I still appreciate the kind words, you're lovely xxx

I always feel terrible around totm. And super bloated! I weigh heavier and I'm always really down! So annoying.

Hopefully I can get my mojo back completely soon. Then I can sing girly songs at the top of my voice and feel good hehe!
I hate "know-it-alls" like her or Sean. So irritating aren't they!? X

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Defo lets get ur mojo bak hun n laff at the know it alls! Cruellas bin vile to me today! Idiot!
Take care hun x hav a gud wkend x

 

[x_Champagne_Supernova_x]

I'm not sure about the waiting list. All I know was that he's trying to prioritize my "case". So we'll see... Fingers crossed eh! I'm still going to private sessions anyway and will have to just keep that up for now.
Yeah it sucks having no friends. I have a friends who lives 20 minds away but she's NEVER been to my town or my house. I always have to go out there... And then they claim I don't make enough effort to go out with them. Unreal. Not one of them had ever come here. it's really upsetting to admit you have no friends. My family are my only friends and they have their own groups of friends.
Yeah I like CC cuz I can definitely eat more. But then PP did work for me when I stuck to it. Finding it hard to stick to anything these days. And TOTM is looming!

I'm having a fat day. All I see in the mirror is a big fat lump. I feel disgusting.

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Ooh lucky you!! I must get in contact with my mental health clinic soon actually and make sure i get some form of help!
Yeah my main friends have their own lives now and live in Limerick, Sligo and Cork. I never see em and I'm not a texter so theres virtually no contact!!
And then there's the fact I'm too nervous to ask em to meet up half the time!! Grrr!!
So i definitely know your pain!
PP works for definite - but starvation annoys me and i prefer not bein on a diet 'cos nobody gets suspicious that i care about what they think! CC is great - especially since i can eat loads. I haven't lost much, but if its not broken, don't fix it!! Gonna give it a chance!

Oh God I hate mirrors!!! We need em, but they're evil. People don't let me near mirrors before going outdoors - and they're right!!

Maybe cover up the mirrors until you need them?
Hope ya feel better soon!!

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Defo lets get ur mojo bak hun n laff at the know it alls! Cruellas bin vile to me today! Idiot!
Take care hun x hav a gud wkend x

Just read about it. She's unreal, really. You must dread work sometimes? I think she's jealous of you. X

Ooh lucky you!! I must get in contact with my mental health clinic soon actually and make sure i get some form of help!
Yeah my main friends have their own lives now and live in Limerick, Sligo and Cork. I never see em and I'm not a texter so theres virtually no contact!!
And then there's the fact I'm too nervous to ask em to meet up half the time!! Grrr!!
So i definitely know your pain!
PP works for definite - but starvation annoys me and i prefer not bein on a diet 'cos nobody gets suspicious that i care about what they think! CC is great - especially since i can eat loads. I haven't lost much, but if its not broken, don't fix it!! Gonna give it a chance!

Oh God I hate mirrors!!! We need em, but they're evil. People don't let me near mirrors before going outdoors - and they're right!!

Maybe cover up the mirrors until you need them?
Hope ya feel better soon!!

I haven't actually heard anything from them yet but I keep hoping and hoping I will. I already know these positive thoughts about it are going to fade away if they don't hurry up though
Defo get in contact with them just to see what the story is even? X

I can't stand being hungry. Did you ever do WW discovery though? I did it and lost 2st-ish and THAT was definitely hunger. I was so strict about what I ate, it was actually obsessive. Worked but it was no way to live. PP was better (fruit & veg being 0pp helped a lot) but I find CC I can eat more. Just at the moment I'm eating to much in general... Easter had been absolutely disastrous for me feel like a failure. Dunno why I can't get my head into eating right!

Everything seems to have a reflective surface lol, I'm avoiding mirrors as much as possible to avoid tearful tantrums! X

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[Wishbird007]

Just read about it. She's unreal, really. You must dread work sometimes? I think she's jealous of you. X

I haven't actually heard anything from them yet but I keep hoping and hoping I will. I already know these positive thoughts about it are going to fade away if they don't hurry up though
Defo get in contact with them just to see what the story is even? X

I can't stand being hungry. Did you ever do WW discovery though? I did it and lost 2st-ish and THAT was definitely hunger. I was so strict about what I ate, it was actually obsessive. Worked but it was no way to live. PP was better (fruit & veg being 0pp helped a lot) but I find CC I can eat more. Just at the moment I'm eating to much in general... Easter had been absolutely disastrous for me feel like a failure. Dunno why I can't get my head into eating right!

Everything seems to have a reflective surface lol, I'm avoiding mirrors as much as possible to avoid tearful tantrums! X

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I dread it every day even more so at the mo lovey x
If u not up to eating properly its cos u have other worries hun, get urself right first! Im in same boat babs x take care o u x

 

[azwethinkweiz]

I dread it every day even more so at the mo lovey x
If u not up to eating properly its cos u have other worries hun, get urself right first! Im in same boat babs x take care o u x

That's terrible, it's awful when we dread our jobs because it's where we spend a lot of our lives

Yeah I've been trying but just doesn't seem to be working while I'm ill for some reason. I'm gonna try one more week starting tomorrow. Don't want to give up or I'll pile on weight so if I can't get to grips next week I'll try to maintain for a while. Just annoying because I have 2 weddings coming up this year & wanted to lose the weight for them but my head is in the wrong place I think. I am trying my best! X

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[x_Champagne_Supernova_x]

I haven't actually heard anything from them yet but I keep hoping and hoping I will. I already know these positive thoughts about it are going to fade away if they don't hurry up though
Defo get in contact with them just to see what the story is even? X

I can't stand being hungry. Did you ever do WW discovery though? I did it and lost 2st-ish and THAT was definitely hunger. I was so strict about what I ate, it was actually obsessive. Worked but it was no way to live. PP was better (fruit & veg being 0pp helped a lot) but I find CC I can eat more. Just at the moment I'm eating to much in general... Easter had been absolutely disastrous for me feel like a failure. Dunno why I can't get my head into eating right!

Everything seems to have a reflective surface lol, I'm avoiding mirrors as much as possible to avoid tearful tantrums! X

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Yeah gonna do that. Haaaate talking on the phone though!! Might use it as an excuse to go for a walk some morning...

Oh God Discovery!! I went with my mam and lasted 2 weeks. Think i lost half a lb and gave up. I felt like the goldfish ate more than me! My mam stuck with it for years though. 2 stone - you must have had the willpower of a monk!! I do love CC since raising my cals, but i find it hard to eat them most days!

Don't worry about Easter- its disastrous for everyone. Really doesn't help that people want to lose weight and there's a holiday that celebrates eating chocolate!! I don't know why they make holidays to depress overweight and single people. Theyre rubbing our noses in it!!! Feckers....

I'm avoiding trying on jeans to avoid depression!! We really need to sort ourselves out!! (i mean this in the nicest way possible...)
Luckily you've got medical help. All I've got is pills that don't work and jeans that are too big for me! (still too nervous to try on the next size down cos i dont think I've gone down a size). Looking for books on body image as i type this but the only good one seems to be for OCD (but meant to be good for body image according to amazon reviews).

You know the way dogs attack mirrors? I've done that... :-/
Oh and remember not all reflective surfaces show you as you really are!!

Actually i saw a thread on MFP about a girl who looked in the mirror and took a photo- and saw herself thinner in the photo than in the mirror!

 

[*Claire-Bear*]

I can see fat and ugly in the mirror. I feel like it isn't fair that I'm so yucky when there's so many lovely good looking people, does that make sense?



Lol I think you're wrong. It's like I have this little bully on my shoulder that won't let me think anything positive. It's hard to explain but that's kinda what it's like. Like I'm my own worst enemy.
You're so kind though hon xx
It is so hard to make friends... & being so shy really doesn't help!



I think you're mad that you think that. I also think you're such a kind person... You're the type of person who would never put someone down especially when they're already down. So I think even if you _did_ think I was ugly or fat, you would never say so. I still appreciate the kind words, you're lovely xxx



I always feel terrible around totm. And super bloated! I weigh heavier and I'm always really down! So annoying.

Hopefully I can get my mojo back completely soon. Then I can sing girly songs at the top of my voice and feel good hehe!
I hate "know-it-alls" like her or Sean. So irritating aren't they!? X

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Ohhhhh im far from that Sarah, i tell ppl how it is ...... so your a lucky lady to be sooo beautiful !!!

 

[Wishbird007]

Ur trying hun thats all that matters x so feel good about that! U do hav the will power obviously hun x ;-)

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Yeah gonna do that. Haaaate talking on the phone though!! Might use it as an excuse to go for a walk some morning...

Oh God Discovery!! I went with my mam and lasted 2 weeks. Think i lost half a lb and gave up. I felt like the goldfish ate more than me! My mam stuck with it for years though. 2 stone - you must have had the willpower of a monk!! I do love CC since raising my cals, but i find it hard to eat them most days!

Don't worry about Easter- its disastrous for everyone. Really doesn't help that people want to lose weight and there's a holiday that celebrates eating chocolate!! I don't know why they make holidays to depress overweight and single people. Theyre rubbing our noses in it!!! Feckers....

I'm avoiding trying on jeans to avoid depression!! We really need to sort ourselves out!! (i mean this in the nicest way possible...)
Luckily you've got medical help. All I've got is pills that don't work and jeans that are too big for me! (still too nervous to try on the next size down cos i dont think I've gone down a size). Looking for books on body image as i type this but the only good one seems to be for OCD (but meant to be good for body image according to amazon reviews).

You know the way dogs attack mirrors? I've done that... :-/
Oh and remember not all reflective surfaces show you as you really are!!

Actually i saw a thread on MFP about a girl who looked in the mirror and took a photo- and saw herself thinner in the photo than in the mirror!

I hate talking on the phone too. I dread having to make phonecalls!

I did have a lot of willpower that time but really it was because I was in a relationship with someone who'd started seeing me when I was thinner and then I put on a load of weight after college (desk job!) and felt like he didn't like me anymore. We broke up after I'd lost 2st & I gave up dieting for a while. Don't think I could ever go back to discovery, I was fairly hungry all the time!!
All I have are pills at the moment. I'm paying privately to see a therapist, haven't heard anything from the clinic yet
I have jeans too big but if I go jeans shopping I get annoyed. I went into Next and picked up a size 10 & 12. They both fit & didn't feel any tighter/looser on me? I got annoyed and left lol. Then in other shops a 12 is still too small... Or my chunky legs won't fit (why are ALL the jeans "skinny" jeans, they just look awful on me!?)
I think I did take a pic of in the mirror before & I thought I looked even bigger LOL! Some days I think I look absolutely huge & other days I feel a bit better about it.

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[azwethinkweiz]

Ohhhhh im far from that Sarah, i tell ppl how it is ...... so your a lucky lady to be sooo beautiful !!!

You're being nice lol. I don't deserve it xx

Ur trying hun thats all that matters x so feel good about that! U do hav the will power obviously hun x ;-)

It might seem to some that I'm not trying hard enough but it's hard to get in that diet zone again especially when I'm feeling low. I shan't give up just yet!

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[azwethinkweiz]

Gained a lb this week girls. I'm not too upset as I deserve it and actually thought it'd be more because I had too much junk plus it's totm?! Weighing in at 11st 3 now. Really want to get off 10lbs to be 10st 7!!

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[Wishbird007]

Ur doing v well hun x

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Ur a stunning lovely lady think mr know it all can be ur new soundtrack! X