Weevikki, we sound so similar. Like you I really want to get off that treadmill. Why can I be so "good" in abstinence, and spent my time thinking that just a simple piece of meat and salad plus wine would be all I need, just at the weekend, and then when I'm eating it's a pub meal every other night, a curry when I'm hungover, and so on. I just can't seem to do moderation, and I'm 50 so you'd think I was getting old enough not to behave like a teenager!
Part of the problem maybe is that I like me like this in some way. I don't like prissy people who don't eat this and that, who don't drink - or worse, can manage to just sip one glass all night. I like to think of myself as really seizing life, and a salad and a spritzer doesnt seem that way. Is this my child talking? How do you grow up without growing boring and old?