Before, during and (eventually) after...Paul's open and honest account.

Wow that's amazing you're really on the right track to getting 25% less!
oh no I cant remember what these were made with but i'm pretty sure it wasnt porridge.
heres a link to the recipe she also has other bits and bobs on their too.
(Almost) Syn-free Cake | Low Syn Life

good luck with tomorrow too
 
Hi Paul! I'm new to the site and to dieting. I just spent some time reading about your journey and I must say it's been both interesting and inspirational. I believe that you can achieve your goals :) Just keep on keeping on!

Here is the most important piece of inspiration I found on this site so far, in another thread:

KD said:
Hello, do you know me?
If you don't you should. I'm a pound of fat, and I'm the happiest pound of fat that you would ever want to meet. Want to know why?

It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'm Only One Pound, just a pound. Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds or fifteen pounds, but never only one, so I just stick around and happily keep you fat.

Then I add to myself ever so slyly so that you never seem to notice it, that is until I've grown to ten, twenty or even more pounds in weight. Yes, it's fun being Only One Pound of fat, left to do as I please.

So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying "Oh, I only lost one pound." (as if that were such a terrible thing!)

For you see, if you do this you'll encourage others to keep me around because they will think I'm not worth losing. And I love being around you - your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you. Happy Days!!

After all, I'm Only One Pound of fat!!!
Click to expand...

I will be trying to keep this in mind always and I think everyone can profit from doing the same :) After all it's always a step in the right direction!

Best of luck xx
 
Early hours of 8th Jan

Thanks Rakelnahe :)
and thanks too to SL for your continued support

Hmmm, I lost 2 1/2 lbs .. over the two weeks of Xmas and New Year... Will be honest and admit I'm gutted, quite upset really...And I knew what was going to happen...as I sat there and listened in group to everyone else (and I mean everyone) in the group saying how they'd put on weight, from one pound to NINE pounds, I just knew what I'd do - come home and binge - sigh!

So, tonight I managed: a 4 finger Kit Kat, 5 Jammie Dodger buscuits, a handful of peanuts, 2 Chocolate digestives, a peanut butter sandwich and a small pack of Haribo...Sat here now, frustrated at myself for not finding the strength to resist. Questioning why I'd still want to binge after being one of just a few people who lost weight over the 2 weeks period...I feel stuffed and uncomfortable now and feel a bit foolish also. I was just eating that crap for the sake of eating, I wasn't even hungry!!!! Grrr

............................. Right!!!!!!! I'm not letting this beat me..no, no ,no, no no ,no and bloody well NOOOOOOOOO. Not any more, I refuse to let the 'old me' come back and think he has a right to dominate my thought patterns and my emotions... Ok, to use a cliche - 'I lost the battle tonight but this is a war' , I'm not losing the war..The old me can just go and p*** off... I'm going to bed and I will rise in the morning and have a healthy breakfast and will eat properly the whole day and the next and the next and so on..It wont beat me this time - I refuse to bow down and be weak just because that's the easy thing to do...

This time next week I will weigh less than I do now!
 
Hi Paul,

Ive been reading your diary from the beginning and I have to say - Well done. Not just for your weight loss, but for getting back on the horse. Its so easy for people to tell themselves they are "meant" to be fat or that they "just cant" lose weight.

Also, I noticed after your binge you posted, which is great - rather than slink away and forget your diary - tell everyone about your binge, what you ate, why you did it, how you felt - it releases the pressure and nobody on here is judging you.

Having an "all or nothing" approach when it comes to weight loss is unrealistic - you had a blip - you wont let it beat you!

Kepp up the great work & I look forward to reading your future posts.

:)
 
Well done on your loss and well done on posting after your binge. It is cleArly something you need to work on but admitting it is a key step. I am reading a book at the moment about weight loss and changing our habits that is very good . I can be an all or nothing person and know this can set me up for failure . Have a good day and I will post the book name today .
 
Hey Paul, well done on your loss and keep on track matie.

One small blip doesn't wreck the week does it? Keel focus and keep going!
x
 
I can understand why you'd be disappointed because it was two pound over two weeks but you had Christmas and new years and two pound off is still off!

Now the binge- I reckon that you would have binged a lot more before you started- I know i would have. Don't beat yourself up about it though it was a small blip, move past it and start your new week.
 
8th Jan 2013

I'd like to thank you all for your support, it does mean a great deal to me.

Today has been a massive struggle...Hasn't helped being off work and I've had to battle ALL the demons today :( But I shouldn't frown because I haven't relented. I made a big batch of (free) tomato soup, which I had for lunch and really enjoyed! For dinner I've had a crab stick(s), egg, cheese and Gammon salad with 2 syns worth of Extra Light Mayo thrown in and again I enjoyed it. That being said, I'm really struggling, really going through the 'wringer' but I'm doing everything in my power to stay focussed.

I feel bloated for some reason though, no idea why. It's that feeling which makes it feel like I've pigged out and which then makes me feel like I've lost nothing...so weird!

Anyway, my lad wants me to play Zombies on the Xbox with him lol, that should help me take my mind off things...

Thanks again to you all, your words do really help me.
 
Don't put yourself down after 1 binge- look back and see what you have achieved so far! You are an inspiration and I could only hope to lose as much as you...i've fallen off the wagon a few timws and thought 'sod it' then stuffed myself...and every time I do it now, I don't enjoy the food/drink as much, and I find it harder to get back into the swing of things, but I do get there - so can you!!!You have nearly lost 10% of your body weight which is no mean feat!! please go and grab 5 bags of sugar and put them in a bag and imagine walking around with that extra weight...you've done a remarkable thing by loosing over the hardest time of the year...so well done, don't lose track of where you are and where you have come from :) be proud :)
 
12th Jan

Right on cue (5 - 7 weeks) I have struggled so badly this week, it's been one long week or five long days where, at any given time, I could have just simply turned my back on it all. I haven't but I have eaten loads & loads of food I'm 'allowed' but very large portions there-of. I have completely lost my mojo in respect of being enthusiastic about the SW plan and the actual losing weight thing. I suppose the one plus point is that I still haven't completely blown it..I've been feeling like this for about a week now and that was before the middle of the week got here...

On Wednesday night my wife asked for my opinion, she'd found a lump...I agreed and insisted (nay pleaded) she went to the Doctor's on Thursday, which she did. The Doctor was of the same opinion and now she has an emergency (two- hour) appointment with a specialist on Monday...I've taken emergency leave from work and will go with her. Whenever I'm faced with concern, worry etc then I just reach for comfort food, I always have done. It's a different thing to the binge eating but not good none the less. There's nothing she/we/I can do right now, worrying wont change anything but in my own selfish little world, it's another added issue which is making hard for me to stay focussed. Having said all this, in my mind I believe it won't be the big 'C' , it'll be a little 'c' as in cyst - in my mind the big 'C' only happens to other people, not people in my family. Yes, perhaps it is a defence mechanism, perhaps I don't want to entertain the idea of it being 'that thing' because I don't want to face that particular scenario. All I/we can do is wait and hope it's 'nothing'.

I had a big (dry) fry up for brunch today, then snacked on some crab sticks and quavers in the afternoon and then made a big batch of syn-free (speed) tomato soup. I've had that tonight with some chips made in the brand new Acti-fry thing we've bought as a post Christmas treat for the family. Syns today? about 7 and I am full up but there are a dozen Kit Kats in the fridge which I just want to go and devour :( This is tough, really tough! I'm having to battle right now on an hourly basis and it shouldn't be like this...If I could just have the same enthusiasm I had 5 weeks ago then they'd be no problem. I am trying to liken it with giving up smoking, trying to remember if there were times, five/six weeks in, when all I wanted to do was go get a ciggi and puff away on the damn thing. Trouble is, if is was like that, I don't remember how hard it was. Besides, none of us needs to smoke but we all need to eat.

From a negative perspective, I'm wondering how much harder it's going to get if I'm struggling so badly 5/6 weeks in, I mean, what's it going to be like after week 10, week 12 or even week 15. I didn't think I would necessarily enjoy doing SW but at the same time, I didn't think it would be this difficult either. I look around on this site and constantly read about people's weight loss and, as I've said before, I am in awe of these people- they should be so so so so so proud of themselves. Perhaps I should take a slightly different view on all this, slow down a bit, perhaps not set standards so high, whereas I'm going to disappointed with a 2 or 3 lb loss. If I see this in my mind's eye a slow process, not worrying about how long it takes, just as long as I do get to where I need to be.

Listening to all your words of encouragement, I will keep battling with these food demons, these emotional demons or whatever they truly are...Let's deal with Monday first and what all that brings and make sure I go get myself weighed, no matter how I'm feeling.

And there was me thinking 2013 couldn't possibly be any worse that 2012, lol - you have to smile ;)
 
You have a lot on your plate at the moment Paul (excuse the pun!) and I can empathise with you about your wife...valentines day last year I found Lump and went off to the docs and then for an ultrasound. All fine - turns out i was pregnant but I didn't find that out until April....but that's another story!

Do you think you have a mental wall block at 5 weeks? I used to have a similar thing but for me it was a weight, a number that I told myself I could t get lower than. I think we tell ourselves we are going to fail, slip up, blah blah then if we do we congratulate our knowledge in some sick way.

My weight was 15 stone. I bobbed around if and couldn't get in the 14 bracket for so long. One week I blasted it - super foods,exercise all my syns and flew into the 14 zone. I broke my personal mini block down. Then I kept going!!!

On my wedding day last year I was in the 12 zone!!! Omg I felt amazing. I looked pretty good too.....then fell pregnant as mentioned and are my way back up to nearly 18 stone again.

Today I'm focused again and I've got the blooming 15 to get past again.

Bear your nemesis. We can do it x
 
Fingers crossed it is just a cyst.
You're doing really well to stay on track and trust me I know its hard not to go off plan when things aren't great.
Why don't you put a pic of urself on the fridge to remind yourself from where you've come from? I wouldn't give up because I think deep down youll be gutted
 
I had the same scare a few years back - can I just say your wife is amazingly strong for talking about it straight away and getting to the doctors - I was crippled with fear/denial and every shade of emotion in between and didn't do anything about it for 3 months!! Turns out my lumps (there are a few) are all cysts - I can't remember the exact stats off the top of my head, and I'm sure you've heard them/read them already, but only a very small number of lumps turn out to be the big C. Fingers crossed for you both, and I hope the doctor gives you good results on Monday :)

Don't give up on the diet - I hit a 'I'm fed up with this, my weight loss isn't as I thought it would be' wall a few weeks back - it took a bit of fiddling with the diet, but I found a way to make it work even better for me and since then have had much better results. No diet is ever going to be 100% fun, but neither is life - look back on your eating before slimming world, did you really enjoy it? Was it worth how it's made you look and feel about yourself? Be honest with yourself here! You went on SW for a reason - don't revert back to the cause of your problem. You have hit a wall - identify why, what is in your way, and how you can overcome it - then move on! You CAN do this. Your weight loss will naturally slow down as the process moves on - but if you feel it's got too slow and you could do better, then have a chat with your consultant maybe. I ate more superspeed food and lowered my carbs a bit (I'm vegan so my diet is very carb heavy) and went from average weekly loss of 0-1lb to 2.5-3.5lb. I'm not saying do what I did, but there will be a way to boost your losses if you feel dejected. Don't let it get you down - the weight took a while to creep on, so it will take a while to go too.
 
Just read through your diary Paul, so much to say but for now stay strong and I hope the news is better than expected.

And I am in awe you managed to beat the ciggies, I am a light smoker in comparison and the willpower needed is unimaginable. You did it then, and you can do it again with the foodx
 
Hi Paul,

Im sorry to hear about your wifes scare - it will most likely be nothing but I sympathise with what shes/your going through.

Have you ever tried listening to hypnosis tapes to take the edge of your comfort eating? They 100% helped me stop reaching for the chocolate and they also motivate you to excersize too - dont ask me how it works - but it does!!

I can email you the mp3 files if you want to have a listen. Google "Paul Mckenna I can make you thin" and see if it sounds like something you might enjoy.

Good luck with the appointment & stay strong!! x
 
Gosh what a tough week you are having so sorry to hear about your wife but glad she got an appointment quickly . Hope it turns out to be nothing .

As for SW I think ellebear gave some great advice. I do think you have to look at it as a long journey that will take some time, if you set off on a long car journey and hit traffic would you turn round and come home ? Sometimes you will get where you want quickly other times it takes ages but you get there. Good luck on your journey

Teresa
 
Hi Paul,

I've been a bit rubbish about posting on here recently so haven't commented before but really pleased you're back. You were one of the people who really inspired me when I first started posting on minimins (December 2010) as you were soooo focused and determined. I think that could be part of the root of it, you want to be 100% and for it to be so quick and easy, but actually life starts to get in the way. It took me a while to realise that but now that I have realised it, I no longer beat myself up if I have a day off plan I just get straight back on the next day. I'm a slow loser, but I'm still chipping away and am now 3stone 6.5lbs lighter than when I started my journey.

I really hope that the news is good when you see the specialist. Just remember that a binge won't change anything except that you'll feel worse about yourself afterwards.

Stay strong.
 
13th Jan

As and when I get to goal and get interviewed by SW regarding my losses I will put it down to three things;

1) The SW plan itself
2) Sheer willpower
3) The people on the Minimins website

I have taken everything on board and I am truly feeling better about everything today, albeit another day when the binge demons have been tapping myself on the shoulder.

Some people have made me realise a few things, but something in particular...that being that I am too hard on myself. This is something which is probably left over from my childhood and the emotional demons that came from that. I have to admit that I've become (nay, I am) an all or nothing dieter. From this comes the feelings I get if I do have a bad day >> Ah that's it, I've blown it and what's the point in bothering. As Helzzz has just said, I need not beat myself up. I mean, if it takes me 12 months to get to goal, as opposed to the 6 months I want it to take, will it be that much of a problem..I'm hardly going to walk around cursing myself because it's taken a year - what will matter is that I'm at goal.

I have decided on some little changes..today, for the first time, I've not been on an Extra Easy day - I've gone for green instead...Currently cooking are some syn free chips, some rice and I've made a big batch of syn free sweet and sour sauce...Chips ans S & S sauce is one of my faves :)

Opps, best post this and write some more later, the said dinner's just about ready :)
 
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