Being a LastStarter not a ReStarter

You lost 17lbs in week one?!!!!!? 17 pounds!!!!!! :happy096::clap::clap::clap: woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!.... And you want more? Tough :copon: hahaha :D. That is stunningly phenomenal hon. PHENOMENAL.

Lol 'Scales Withdrawal' :D That will be hard, especially if you like to weigh yourself everyday. I had to wean myself off of my scales obsession (locked mine in the boot of my car at one point!)

Re: your DD, I'm hoping and praying it all works out for you. It sounds like a worrying time all around. :bighug:

We live in Buckinghamshire (in the South East) where are you moving to? Do prepare yourself.... Such a big move is emotionally a roller coaster and one of the most stressful events in life (only just behind weddings, bereavement and divorce :eek:). Exciting though to relocate :D

I'm sure you'll manage to stay strong and 100% today. Hang on to that 17lb loss if you even think of wavering xx
 
Hi miss ama,

Wow you are doing so amazing... I've just been reading your thread and you sound so like me!!

A lot of what you said really rang true to me... Sadly, I always think the good will be amazing and keep going waiting for that fab taste...

Really looking forward to following your journey..

Well done on an amazing first week chick xx
 
Ah I just lost an entire message!

I was apologising for the absence and confessing I kinda slipped. I saved two of my shakes and had two glasses of wine at the theatre instead. I stayed within calories and it didn't kick me out of ketosis so I don't really feel I cheated although I did. And kids don't try this at home, booze while in ketosis is downright dangerous! I also worked out why I was so desperately ravenous at NYE - TOTM showed up today so I am hopeful I can see a loss before Wednesday when I check last.

This was tough (airplane food ALWAYS tempts and who invented those warm pretzels in Westfield?!? They ought to be shot, their mere smell is killing me!)

This is a creepy blurry picture of the dress I was in that made me feel slim and sexy at intervals at the Committments. Thanks Cambridge but more importantly, thank YOU all for reading this and keeping me honest and on path!photo (23) copy.jpg
 
Oh Gods confession time. Been putting this off forever but as soon as I get away from accountability the following happens. I can blame the move, I can blame the extreme tension from all points of view at work or the baby's diagnosis and I can blame the horoscope but realistically the only reason I failed is me. With that out of the way how did I fail?

Week hmmm I think 4 or 5 of 110% SS without as much as a sugar free gum I succumbed to peer pressure and drank at an office do. And then a few days later at another with a client. After each fall I did ok in between so I kept losing weight so I would not have stopped except something worse happened: I mindlessly put one of the baby's nuggests in my mouth and when I realised I was chewing it I spit it out. Light bulb went on. Hold on! That was nice and I didn't get any calories, no harm done. So did it again a day later. And then the week after I ordered an entire tray of room service just to chew and spit it. A week later I even swallowed and ate a bunch of things which meant I put on 3 lbs from my hard earned 30 I have lost since Xmas so I stopped and gave myself a shake. Enough's enough! Then googled it and confirmed my worse suspicions -Chew and spit is a real subset of anorexia, a real eating disorder.

Firmly on SS again now. Never again a beer, never smelling a carb till goal. But worried. Very worried about how likely, once I get to target -which is not that horribly far anymore despite the set back - in about 15-20 lbs I'll start going up the Cambridge steps- I will need to likely see someone to help me with my food issues.

Well there, guess we caught it earlier. Some C&S episodes later, 5-6 beers and one evening's binge not all of my hard work undone is better than I would have done in the past. So let's get this thing done now.
 
Well done hon, for getting back on the wagon and recognising old behaviors and habits HAVE to be dealt with and changed. Those are the thoughts that lead to success: if we do what we've always done, we'll get what we've always got. So. Change it.

Spend some time when you can looking at my old CDC's videos on u tube (Platinum Players - Lawrence Brown) and get some inspiration on how not to "open the box" of your appetite....

Welcome back :D and Bravo for not giving up on yourself xx
 
Oh now I saw it here - thanks for stopping by lovely! Still chasing your BMI!

I feel good today because someone told me I lost nearly 2.5 stones (34 lbs) since Dec 28 when I started this. Which is good, right? :)
 
It has been 110% chiefly because I have A) a meeting with the CD lady today and I am ashamed about falling off the wagon and B) because I have a major event next week and must look my best. The only thing I worry about is the drinking around this major conference. In particular if we win a prize -happened before- it's hard to say "no". Then again I am speaking at an event in Seattle beginning of March and I REALLY need to be in shape for that. I am thinking if I can stay 110% till then I can afford a night off and drink there in the US only to jump back and do a full week of 110% (albeit with soups instead as I had already gained the water weight) and then start going up the plan the week after when I am home and my mind is in the right place.

Sanity check? :)
 
Stay away from the booze at the Major Event :copon:

This journey is ALL about you. You don't need a drink to join in. You're there, you're sparkling, you're personable and you're witty. Drink a fizzy water. Let me ask you something: if your bubba's happiness, enjoyment of Mummy, and how she views herself as a take charge woman when she grows up depended on you not having a 'treat' here or there would you give in? Of course not. Well guess what? That is the case. You ace this diet journey, and you'll be able to run, jump, laugh, play with her. Climb a climbing frame and teach her to be fearless. You're going to show her how to sing like no one can hear you, dance like no one is watching, and be the best, healthiest woman she can be - and you're going to do all that by BEING alllll that.

So when colleagues insist "oh one drink won't hurt" - yes, it will. Because you're giving yourself permission to fail. Your new response is "maybe later, I don't want to break my diet just yet" with a sweet smile. Then turn away.

You are whole and beautiful just as you are. Why not show the universe you intend to stay that way :)

Now. That's your slap for the day...... Get to dieting lol xxxxxx
 
Beverley75 said:
Stay away from the booze at the Major Event :copon:

This journey is ALL about you. You don't need a drink to join in. You're there, you're sparkling, you're personable and you're witty. Drink a fizzy water. Let me ask you something: if your bubba's happiness, enjoyment of Mummy, and how she views herself as a take charge woman when she grows up depended on you not having a 'treat' here or there would you give in? Of course not. Well guess what? That is the case. You ace this diet journey, and you'll be able to run, jump, laugh, play with her. Climb a climbing frame and teach her to be fearless. You're going to show her how to sing like no one can hear you, dance like no one is watching, and be the best, healthiest woman she can be - and you're going to do all that by BEING alllll that.

So when colleagues insist "oh one drink won't hurt" - yes, it will. Because you're giving yourself permission to fail. Your new response is "maybe later, I don't want to break my diet just yet" with a sweet smile. Then turn away.

You are whole and beautiful just as you are. Why not show the universe you intend to stay that way :)

Now. That's your slap for the day...... Get to dieting lol xxxxxx
Click to expand...

and not to mention it's mega dangerous to drink when your in ketosis, I think you need to come out of it a few days first :-s..... and I double what bev just said lol x
 
I will read and re-read this for next week and stay strong, thanks ladies!

But you're missing the point on the other topic - mostly because I am not good at explaining it heh let's see. The trip is 2nd of March I think . I initially wanted to do Sole Source till mid March/or closer to goal weight. This won't be much sooner than that. Chiefly because I think I will loose while I go up the steps. And will be able to insert gym etc.

I have no intention to fail, on the contrary, I am planning this so I don't binge again. So a nearly-on-plan-meal at the restaurant (maybe not a drink) and then likely a meal on the plane ride then once home straight on to Sole Source again only this time with soups so I don't lose water weight again. So it would be:

Weight on 2nd of March "x" + glycogen reserve replenish 3-4 lbs + water weight 3-4 lbs = Come home X+8 lbs
Sole Source (with Soups) Till March 14th - minus 4 = X+4
Sole Source (with Soups) Till March22nd - minus 4 = X+1
Step 2- Sole Source plus (810) Till March 29th - minus 2 = X-1
Step 2 - Sole Source plus (810) till April 4th minus 2 = X-3
Step 2 - Sole Source plus (810) till April 11th minus 2 = X- 5
Step 3 (1000) till April 18th minus 2 = X-7
Step 3 (1000) till April 25th minus 2 = X-9
Step 3 (1000) till May 2nd minus 2 = X-11
Step 4 (1200) till May 9th minus 1 = X-12
Step 4 (1200) till May 16th minus 1 = X-13
Step 4 (1200) till May 23rd minus 1= X-14
Step 5 My Life! (1500-1700 MAX) till forever! Well other people would still be losing on 1500 - not my thyroid, I'm lucky if I maintain. If I go above 1600 I'd best do a two hours treadmill stint despite my hugely painful knee so I am not under any illusions I will ever get back to being a food addict.

Sorry the above is silly numbers, just wanted to write it down and see if I were off the steps by June/July and it seems I will and at a comfortable weight of 73-72 kg (if I lose 3.5 more till March 2nd so high stakes!) in this scenario.

On the plus side I am nearly done organising my new walk-in closet (when we moved to England everything is so small I had to sacrifice a spare bedroom and it's finally been finished) and I found all kinds of skinny clothes I fit in! I don't yet in the 8s and 10s of course (or the 6s from my pre-baby-anorexia moments LOL) but outside of a "goal clothes box" I am back in my normal person/skinny minnie 10s tops and 12/14 bottoms so I am pretty chuffed. YEY
 
yay for skinny clothes, you must be feeling awesome!

and oh wow youre organised!

Just have chicken for all your meals, then you've only gotta worry about the carbs in the rest of it!

What do you mean about soups though? I'm sure whatever you SS with the water weight will go - for me i just remind myself 2-3lbs of my loss isn't "real".

x
 
Not that determined Miss B! I am weary but hey, I have to stop fearing food and just start working on discipline instead. It will take me another 3 months to re-from the calories counting habit which is just about how long I will stay on the steps up. If you noticed I want to do 3 weeks for each step not one or two to give my body time to smarten up. Very very slowly. Baby steps.

Crazy Diamond - I am on shakes only, no soups - hence no salt ever hence some of the loss is just water weight and that will go back on quick and painfully in the US. By going back on Sole Source on soups only I will not quickly loose a bit and think I'm ok - I will retain the gained water weight and deal with it. Makes sense? May well not. Feels like I'm eating from brain cells these days :)

My consultant suggested I go straight to 810 and I could but by going back to SS it feels like I retain some control - go back to baseline then get up - that makes sense to me :)
 
That sounds like a good plan. I also feel uncertain about life back in the eating world again. I have to remember that I didn't do a bad job for the first couple of years at maintaining. I think stretching this process out knowing that I will still lose is the best way - funny that we have both come to that conclusion having been there before. Just feels like the right thing somehow. Gives me longer to entrench the good habits and baseline with the helpful foods before the trigger items get introduced. I'm just not sure when to start the process but I'm going to review at the end of Feb.
 
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