Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
- Thread starter FatFairNForty(ish)
- Start date
I totally agree bow locks to him! I wouldn't even waste time and energy being angry with him now, you've told him what you think and deleted his number (well done you, i love deleting numbers!), so Feck him, his loss.
You will meet the right guy one day Jennie, think we all have the same problems.. I either meet guys that let me down (in which case i do my normal impatient thing and dump them) or I meet guys that are forever in my face (in which case I do my normal thing lol and panic and dump them!) There has to be nice normal blokes out there for both of us.
Just seen the pics from Brum meet.. you look amazing! You've lost so much more since i last saw you, well done, clearly the chef has been cooking too much old trout recently to notice when he just let a good catch slip through his fingers... Bowlocks to him again!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
thanks Karen... I know but even so.. not nice to just 'vanish' into thin air now is it! 
Still... means I just might get to bed early tonight IF I do the work I have to! AND I was so cross I had energy to burn off so cleaned my living room windows and the doors to my kitchen (mainly glass) so all sparkly - going to vac in a mo too.. (just putting off doing the really important stuff though!! How like me )
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Oh, the day just gets better and better! lol
We have water pouring through the ceiling in the utility room! Knocked at neighbours and asked if her hubby could come look and he can't as he is out tonight.. rang the only plumber I know.. he's on crutches!! I crawled into the loft (first time EVER!) and could see the pipe in the distance that is causing the problem, but because ex never floored the loft there's no way to get to it other than by floating! So - off the diy store to get some loft floor boarding and some feck off nails.. and that's a job to do before I can get anyone out. Looks like we will have to turn the water off each night which, given the nature of the diet, is NOT a good thing!
Am mightily cheesed off. Going to get a jobs paper too!
Seriously wishing nasty things to happen to ex for bodging the pipework in the first place (which he clearly has as it's buggered now!!) AND for making it so that only a blimmin fairy can get to it!
Bah humbug and all that!!
Still... silver lining.. I can fit in the loft now AND I am light enough to go up the ladder!!!
We have water pouring through the ceiling in the utility room! Knocked at neighbours and asked if her hubby could come look and he can't as he is out tonight.. rang the only plumber I know.. he's on crutches!! I crawled into the loft (first time EVER!) and could see the pipe in the distance that is causing the problem, but because ex never floored the loft there's no way to get to it other than by floating! So - off the diy store to get some loft floor boarding and some feck off nails.. and that's a job to do before I can get anyone out. Looks like we will have to turn the water off each night which, given the nature of the diet, is NOT a good thing!
Am mightily cheesed off. Going to get a jobs paper too!
Seriously wishing nasty things to happen to ex for bodging the pipework in the first place (which he clearly has as it's buggered now!!) AND for making it so that only a blimmin fairy can get to it!
Bah humbug and all that!!
Still... silver lining.. I can fit in the loft now AND I am light enough to go up the ladder!!!
pandora
finding my way again !
excuse the pun, but it never rains but it pours in hour house doesn't it ?
there allways seems to be some diy job or other need doing, our house is like that, ex rental place only done up to the cheapest specifications, i'm so lucky hubs is a builder (when he's at home, he's allways at work these days !)
xx
there allways seems to be some diy job or other need doing, our house is like that, ex rental place only done up to the cheapest specifications, i'm so lucky hubs is a builder (when he's at home, he's allways at work these days !)
xx
Irish
Gold Member
Aww poor you sorry about the leak in your loft but you are wrong. You may not be able to float across your loft but you are still a fairy.........my fairy godsister can't say mother cuz there' s only a couple of years difference in age. You are my inspirational FAIRYGOD SISTER and may I add an ever shrinking one :thankyou:
Ta debbie xx
PS I have caught up on your thread:bliss:
:thankyou: Ta debbie xx
PS I have caught up on your thread:bliss:
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Send him up here!!!! lol Seriously pee-ed off about it all! Ah well. Being pee-ed off isn't going to achieve anything is it! So.. will turn water off overnight and hopefully get someone to come and fix it tomorrow or the weekend. :sigh:excuse the pun, but it never rains but it pours in hour house doesn't it ?
there allways seems to be some diy job or other need doing, our house is like that, ex rental place only done up to the cheapest specifications, i'm so lucky hubs is a builder (when he's at home, he's allways at work these days !)
xx
lol I know Irene, but you have to try and find the positives eh
:giggle:Aww Debbie, thank you!Aww poor you sorry about the leak in your loft but you are wrong. You may not be able to float across your loft but you are still a fairy.........my fairy godsister can't say mother cuz there' s only a couple of years difference in age. You are my inspirational FAIRYGOD SISTER and may I add an ever shrinking one
Ta debbie xx PS I have caught up on your thread:bliss:
Hope you can make it to the meet in Dublin at the end of June so's we can meet!!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
I decided not to get the flooring until the weekend, and instead fetched the jobs supplement and the bar stools for this weekend's gig. Have started the ball rolling for the next Brummy meet on September 8th so hopefully lots will come along to that again. I love to be inspired by all these ladies who have lost LOADS of weight or are maintaining or are STILL losing! It's a fabulous opportunity to meet our fellow slimmers! So.. quick plug.. on the WeMitts forum ... Birmingham meet Sept 8th 2007. It's in my diary already and, shock horror, I had one of those 'feck it' moments and have booked my room!! (It's a bargain at the moment!!) So... now I have something to look forward to every month until I get to my goal weight!! Hopefully that will help keep me on track and focused!
Had my AAM at lunchtime and have decided not to have any more now as I REALLY want to lose the 2lbs by Monday, so.. the plan is to just SS now til then!
I'm off now to do my work until 8pm then Zoe will want to come on here and so it's only fair I give her time too. It will mean I get an early night for definite and I really must do that so.... if you even get a hint of my being on here after 8pm PLEASE NAG ME!!!
Ta xxxxx
Had my AAM at lunchtime and have decided not to have any more now as I REALLY want to lose the 2lbs by Monday, so.. the plan is to just SS now til then!
I'm off now to do my work until 8pm then Zoe will want to come on here and so it's only fair I give her time too. It will mean I get an early night for definite and I really must do that so.... if you even get a hint of my being on here after 8pm PLEASE NAG ME!!!
Ta xxxxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
luv the new avatar hun !!
xx
thank you... I felt it was time to let the blue housecoat have a rest I asked Zoe to choose a pic and that was the one she picked
She's still very light-headed this evening... but is determined to persevere.. so.. I made her a muffin and when she gets back from her driving lesson we are both taking the dog for a short walk and then coming home for an early night.
MadamDotty
Back again!
AHEM - It's 8:11 madam, and you're still here!!!
Sorry to hear you've had another mare of a day, if you can SS through all that's been thrown at your lately then you can do anything that's for sure!
I loved your silver lining thought too.
Hope it all gets sorted and you get off and get to bed soon.
xx
Sorry to hear you've had another mare of a day, if you can SS through all that's been thrown at your lately then you can do anything that's for sure!
I loved your silver lining thought too.
Hope it all gets sorted and you get off and get to bed soon.
xx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
thank you! am off now.. Zoe should be home in a mo and we're taking the dog out then early night for the both of us
thank you!! night xxxx
thank you!! night xxxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Look away if feeling down - this ain't a cheery post!
I'm so glad this week is over and the weekend has arrived.
Last night Zoe and I took the dog out for a walk and bumped into Pub Quiz Man - he barely drew breath before scurrying off into the distance. When I told Zoe who he was she was really shocked and said - "HIM??? He's PQM??" lol and said that I was mad to be interested in him as he was "old and fat"! lolol Bless - she is only 18 after all... and, for the record... he's only 46 and, yeah, so he's a bit cuddly but so what! Anyway - he's not interested.. lol.. so it matters not!
I slept like a log until Zoe's boyfriend came in from work at 3.30am! I must remember to tell her to not put the landing light on at that time of night as it was that which woke me. I daren't wear the ear plugs anymore as she is still feeling light-headed. She checked with a pee stick and is DEFINTELY in ketosis so is very happy Ailsa gave her some to start her off..
She's doing well but is very bored and seems to be getting to grips with quite a few of the arcade games now
We've cleared out the fridge (apart from what Sarah will be eating tonight and tomorrow first thing) and so all we will have in the fridge from tomorrow is bottles of Asda sugar free appleade and Perfectly Clear (which we are going to stock up on tonight I think).
Was thinking of taking the dog out again tonight - different route though as not wanting to bump into Mr PQM. Am tired though.
Anyway.. got up at 6.30 and made it to work in time and steamed into things there. There were messages on the answerphone, which I had to wait to deal with as it was only 8am, and one was a particularly snotty one from a woman in another town.. she was chasing up the newsletters (which are now 3 weeks late) and I left an equally snotty message back on her answerphone telling her that she would get them when they were done! That sort of set the tone for the morning. My friend Rachael came in and took one look at me and I burst into tears. I was a mess! I sobbed about the leak, about Tim, about Zoe, about work, oh heck, I sobbed about everything! I told her how far behind I was in things and how much of a failure I felt.. I told her how tired I was of being useless and inadequate... how after a fantastic weekend I'd had one of the worst weeks ever.. I told her how I wanted to ring Tim to ask him to help with the leak, but couldn't because I can't cope with hearing his voice again, let alone asking him to help me. I told her how rejected and dejected I still felt from his leaving me, and how I thought I was over all that.. and clearly I'm not.. I sobbed and sniffled about my worries about Zoe.. about my worries about the house, about the leak, about the neighbours having a 40th birthday party and not being invited and how I felt excluded because of it... I told her how fat I feel and how much I hate being fat and want not to have to do this diet any more... Lordy. , the floodgates opened and stuff I didn't even realise I felt was pouring out of me!! I told her how inept at work I felt and how there was so much to think about at both jobs that I can't seem to DO anything!! I told her how I don't think I can cope any more with everything and don't know what to tackle first. I told her how my heart is still broken and that whilst I hate being alone, I don't think I shall ever meet a man who will truly want me and love me the way I need to be wanted and loved (whatever the feck that meant!!!)... all this in the matter of , oooh, 10 mins max! (which gives you an idea of the rate of sob,sniff, speech that was taking place!!)
I sent out a 'help me' email to someone who is lovely and knows how to do the financial stuff that I have been avoiding doing coz I can't get my head 'round it... and another to the guy who leads the finance group to tell him I quit and can't do it anymore.. I sent another to someone telling them not to pressurise me... and another to someone complaining about the lack of tickets to a very important ministerial event!! (I was less than tolerant in that one!!)...
My friend was lovely. She hugged me and told me that I had to tell my boss how I was feeling and that she will come in to help me on Monday. She also was very very kind and loving (as she always is).. and told me that I had to ask for help or she was worried I would have a physical and mental break down. I told her it was just a bad week and a time of adjustment and if I could just get back on top of things it would be fine. I believe that too.
After she left, I rang my boss and told him I needed to talk to him... I broke down as I was on the phone and he came into the office an hour later. We talked (pretty much the same as I said to my friend) and he was a dream! He talked to me about bereavement and how the way I was feeling about Tim was just like the emotions of bereavement.. we talked about the diet.. he said he was amazed that I managed to continue with it during all this... and I explained how it was the ONLY part of my life I have any real control over and that it was, actually, probably the easiest thing right now - that said, I just made Sarah a load of food for her marathon journey tomorrow and would quite cheerfully have shoved a wadge of ham and cheese down me neck! - . He explained that although I may not be completely over Tim, that I have made fantastic progress and that normally the things that seem impossible at the moment (ie the newsletter) I usually take in my stride and that it's simply circumstances and not that I am in any sense a failure... he was lovely to me and very understanding. We talked about how hard it is to admit when you are struggling, and how much easier it is to get bogged down than to put up your hand and ask for help... we talked about the recent changes in my life.. the money worries... my concerns about my girls.. the house.. and now the leak..
We talked about all of it. I cried some more. He told me that he understood that right now, with all that's going on, there is no comfort for me from what would have been my usual source... food or Tim. When he said about the lack of real comforting it hit a real nerve - he is right. Whilst I have friends, and they are lovely, they don't 'comfort' me. I used to have food as comfort and that's gone now.. and I'm not revisiting it because 10 minutes of comfort will lead to months of 'dis'comfort!
So... we agreed.. I just plod on and do what I can as and when I can. He tried to organise a plumber but we couldn't... we prioritised things (as I seem incapable even of that today!) and I got lots more done than I thought I would or could've. Then it was time to go to job 2!
I gathered myself together and went in ... it was ok. The afternoon flew past - there is so much to do there, no time for any dwelling on things.. constantly thinking of things.. it was the lady who's leaving , her final day. I took in a gift for her.. she has been lovely and so helpful (despite the rank breath and very dated processes) and I'm sure she has equipped me as best she possibly can. She seems confident that I can fill her shoes... I hope her confidence isn't misplaced!
I got home around 6.15pm and have done the dishwasher and seen that there is post to be dealt with for the festival. Zoe and I are going to Asda tonight to get the drinks.. I might take the dog out first just to get some fresh air and a bit of exercise. It also knackers the dog out which means he is less likely to be up late in the night!
I was supposed to go out with Sarah tonight and Trudy (from the pub) but I cried off, I'm too tired and way too emotional. I look rubbish and we (Sarah, Zoe and I) are supposed to be having our photo taken together so I have an uptodate pic of us all together. The last one was at my neice's wedding 2 Septembers back..
Sorry - this has been a right miserable post, but it's how my day has gone thus far... oh.. I tried calling another plumber without success and the water continues to drip through the loft.. and I feel fat and useless and totally inept and inadequate and fed up.. and I just moaned and whinges at Ailsa on the phone too and am in tears again!
...apart from that...life's ace!
I'm so glad this week is over and the weekend has arrived.
Last night Zoe and I took the dog out for a walk and bumped into Pub Quiz Man - he barely drew breath before scurrying off into the distance. When I told Zoe who he was she was really shocked and said - "HIM??? He's PQM??" lol and said that I was mad to be interested in him as he was "old and fat"! lolol Bless - she is only 18 after all... and, for the record... he's only 46 and, yeah, so he's a bit cuddly but so what! Anyway - he's not interested.. lol.. so it matters not!
I slept like a log until Zoe's boyfriend came in from work at 3.30am! I must remember to tell her to not put the landing light on at that time of night as it was that which woke me. I daren't wear the ear plugs anymore as she is still feeling light-headed. She checked with a pee stick and is DEFINTELY in ketosis so is very happy
Ailsa gave her some to start her off.. She's doing well but is very bored and seems to be getting to grips with quite a few of the arcade games now
We've cleared out the fridge (apart from what Sarah will be eating tonight and tomorrow first thing) and so all we will have in the fridge from tomorrow is bottles of Asda sugar free appleade and Perfectly Clear (which we are going to stock up on tonight I think).
Was thinking of taking the dog out again tonight - different route though as not wanting to bump into Mr PQM. Am tired though.
Anyway.. got up at 6.30 and made it to work in time and steamed into things there. There were messages on the answerphone, which I had to wait to deal with as it was only 8am, and one was a particularly snotty one from a woman in another town.. she was chasing up the newsletters (which are now 3 weeks late) and I left an equally snotty message back on her answerphone telling her that she would get them when they were done! That sort of set the tone for the morning. My friend Rachael came in and took one look at me and I burst into tears. I was a mess! I sobbed about the leak, about Tim, about Zoe, about work, oh heck, I sobbed about everything! I told her how far behind I was in things and how much of a failure I felt.. I told her how tired I was of being useless and inadequate... how after a fantastic weekend I'd had one of the worst weeks ever.. I told her how I wanted to ring Tim to ask him to help with the leak, but couldn't because I can't cope with hearing his voice again, let alone asking him to help me. I told her how rejected and dejected I still felt from his leaving me, and how I thought I was over all that.. and clearly I'm not.. I sobbed and sniffled about my worries about Zoe.. about my worries about the house, about the leak, about the neighbours having a 40th birthday party and not being invited and how I felt excluded because of it... I told her how fat I feel and how much I hate being fat and want not to have to do this diet any more... Lordy. , the floodgates opened and stuff I didn't even realise I felt was pouring out of me!! I told her how inept at work I felt and how there was so much to think about at both jobs that I can't seem to DO anything!! I told her how I don't think I can cope any more with everything and don't know what to tackle first. I told her how my heart is still broken and that whilst I hate being alone, I don't think I shall ever meet a man who will truly want me and love me the way I need to be wanted and loved (whatever the feck that meant!!!)... all this in the matter of , oooh, 10 mins max! (which gives you an idea of the rate of sob,sniff, speech that was taking place!!)
I sent out a 'help me' email to someone who is lovely and knows how to do the financial stuff that I have been avoiding doing coz I can't get my head 'round it... and another to the guy who leads the finance group to tell him I quit and can't do it anymore.. I sent another to someone telling them not to pressurise me... and another to someone complaining about the lack of tickets to a very important ministerial event!! (I was less than tolerant in that one!!)...
My friend was lovely. She hugged me and told me that I had to tell my boss how I was feeling and that she will come in to help me on Monday. She also was very very kind and loving (as she always is).. and told me that I had to ask for help or she was worried I would have a physical and mental break down. I told her it was just a bad week and a time of adjustment and if I could just get back on top of things it would be fine. I believe that too.
After she left, I rang my boss and told him I needed to talk to him... I broke down as I was on the phone and he came into the office an hour later. We talked (pretty much the same as I said to my friend) and he was a dream! He talked to me about bereavement and how the way I was feeling about Tim was just like the emotions of bereavement.. we talked about the diet.. he said he was amazed that I managed to continue with it during all this... and I explained how it was the ONLY part of my life I have any real control over and that it was, actually, probably the easiest thing right now - that said, I just made Sarah a load of food for her marathon journey tomorrow and would quite cheerfully have shoved a wadge of ham and cheese down me neck! - . He explained that although I may not be completely over Tim, that I have made fantastic progress and that normally the things that seem impossible at the moment (ie the newsletter) I usually take in my stride and that it's simply circumstances and not that I am in any sense a failure... he was lovely to me and very understanding. We talked about how hard it is to admit when you are struggling, and how much easier it is to get bogged down than to put up your hand and ask for help... we talked about the recent changes in my life.. the money worries... my concerns about my girls.. the house.. and now the leak..
We talked about all of it. I cried some more. He told me that he understood that right now, with all that's going on, there is no comfort for me from what would have been my usual source... food or Tim. When he said about the lack of real comforting it hit a real nerve - he is right. Whilst I have friends, and they are lovely, they don't 'comfort' me. I used to have food as comfort and that's gone now.. and I'm not revisiting it because 10 minutes of comfort will lead to months of 'dis'comfort!
So... we agreed.. I just plod on and do what I can as and when I can. He tried to organise a plumber but we couldn't... we prioritised things (as I seem incapable even of that today!) and I got lots more done than I thought I would or could've. Then it was time to go to job 2!
I gathered myself together and went in ... it was ok. The afternoon flew past - there is so much to do there, no time for any dwelling on things.. constantly thinking of things.. it was the lady who's leaving , her final day. I took in a gift for her.. she has been lovely and so helpful (despite the rank breath and very dated processes) and I'm sure she has equipped me as best she possibly can. She seems confident that I can fill her shoes... I hope her confidence isn't misplaced!
I got home around 6.15pm and have done the dishwasher and seen that there is post to be dealt with for the festival. Zoe and I are going to Asda tonight to get the drinks.. I might take the dog out first just to get some fresh air and a bit of exercise. It also knackers the dog out which means he is less likely to be up late in the night!
I was supposed to go out with Sarah tonight and Trudy (from the pub) but I cried off, I'm too tired and way too emotional. I look rubbish and we (Sarah, Zoe and I) are supposed to be having our photo taken together so I have an uptodate pic of us all together. The last one was at my neice's wedding 2 Septembers back..
Sorry - this has been a right miserable post, but it's how my day has gone thus far... oh.. I tried calling another plumber without success and the water continues to drip through the loft.. and I feel fat and useless and totally inept and inadequate and fed up.. and I just moaned and whinges at Ailsa on the phone too and am in tears again!
...apart from that...life's ace!
pandora
finding my way again !
oh hun,
i just want to tell you that you may be having a down week, but on the whole you are one of the most strong & determined women i know. In light of all that you are going thru you plough on & stick to the diet rigidly, i know you say that is one area you have control over, but for most of us (definatly me) that would be the first thing out of the window.
my sister is a single mum & feels the same as you alot of the time, like it all gets too much to cope with on its own.
your friend & boss both sound lovely & caring & now your boss knows how you feel he will hopefully keep an eye out for you.
i'm sorry i can't do or say anything to make life better, but im allways here for you
xx
i just want to tell you that you may be having a down week, but on the whole you are one of the most strong & determined women i know. In light of all that you are going thru you plough on & stick to the diet rigidly, i know you say that is one area you have control over, but for most of us (definatly me) that would be the first thing out of the window.
my sister is a single mum & feels the same as you alot of the time, like it all gets too much to cope with on its own.
your friend & boss both sound lovely & caring & now your boss knows how you feel he will hopefully keep an eye out for you.
i'm sorry i can't do or say anything to make life better, but im allways here for you
xx
MadamDotty
Back again!
Oh honey I don't know what to say, I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it's all going to be alright - but I can't.
You are coping with so much at the moment and are physically and mentally exhausted, it's no wonder you're in the state you are, but it's good that it's all come out and that your boss knows about it and your friend as well, after all people can only help if they know there's a problem and I suspect you're rather good at keeping it all in, soldering on & worrying about helping everyone else before yourself. But just by telling these people is a step in the right direction, asking for help in your finances is another step and not going out tonight and giving yourself a good rest is another.
Just try and have a good, relaxing weekend, take a bit of time for you, you give so much out to so many people, keep a bit back for you.
You do have tremendous strength and you can get through this, you have achieved amazing things and you are an amazing person.
My offer of before still stands, if you need us just ask honey and we'll come over.
Take care
Jan
xxx
You are coping with so much at the moment and are physically and mentally exhausted, it's no wonder you're in the state you are, but it's good that it's all come out and that your boss knows about it and your friend as well, after all people can only help if they know there's a problem and I suspect you're rather good at keeping it all in, soldering on & worrying about helping everyone else before yourself. But just by telling these people is a step in the right direction, asking for help in your finances is another step and not going out tonight and giving yourself a good rest is another.
Just try and have a good, relaxing weekend, take a bit of time for you, you give so much out to so many people, keep a bit back for you.
You do have tremendous strength and you can get through this, you have achieved amazing things and you are an amazing person.
My offer of before still stands, if you need us just ask honey and we'll come over.
Take care
Jan
xxx
Redpam
Living the Life
A big (((((((((((HUG)))))))))))) for you Jennie. I so feel for you because I have been in the same position as you. I think the leak in the loft has just been the last straw because it is not something you can fix yourself and it is so frustrating.
There is no way you are a failure. You do so much to help others and I think you keep so busy so as not to have too much time to dwell on things you would rather not think about.
You are a lovely person and one day when you least expect it you will meet a man who will love and cherish you in the way you deserve.
Take care and I hope you have a happier weekend.
Pamxx
There is no way you are a failure. You do so much to help others and I think you keep so busy so as not to have too much time to dwell on things you would rather not think about.
You are a lovely person and one day when you least expect it you will meet a man who will love and cherish you in the way you deserve.
Take care and I hope you have a happier weekend.
Pamxx
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