Thanks Ladies.
I have had such a nice day today. After my OH left for work, i found that great ketosis energy and I did a major overhaul on our lounge, just clearing out, putting away, minimising, packing for storage eccess "stuff" - things that have needed doing for ages.
Then I put on some christmas music and put up a tree and lights to surprise hubby with when he gets home. He did this for me last year, and it was so magic to walk into a decorated room I thought I would return the pleasure to him - so can't wait till he gets home.
I thought of my mom and dad as I did it, and at times it stung a little - but I pushed myself to do it, rather then feel sorry for myself through the season - and its beautiful and comforting, so I am so glad I did it.
Also took Muffin out in the rain for a walk until it turned stormy.
A trip out and bought myself all new socks and undies and a new pair of jeans in size 14 to get into, as incentive.
Ketosis has come on so fast and easy this time. I am already at the point where I save all my packs for the evening, which is what I did before - it works best for me. But I have recently discovered using a vanilla pack throught the day, a tablespoon at a time, to make 'white coffee' which is something I love, and choose not to give up in "real life" - so this makes it so enjoyable again to have coffee!! It is something I miss terribly. I have only ever mixed the whole pack in one shot for a thick 'latte', but this way it makes about 4 or 5 nice big cups of coffee. Heaven.
Ya know, it's odd....I don't know if it's the anti depressants really doing a good job, or what - but lately, I have had such a strong sense of "waking up". Since the day I moved here 9 years ago I have always felt guilty for being here - it was such a mess. So I saw my home, my life in england through different eyes then I see it now - as if I was trying to MAKE it bad, so that it was a hardship to be here - to ease the guilt.
Well, that pressure has lifted, and yes, at a very sad sad cost - but I am finding it pretty fascinating how things in my head, my heart, are changing. Its good.
This is the best I have felt in months.
If I have repeated myself I am so sorry. You know my - streams of consciousness and this has been on my mind so much the past week or two.
It's nice.
Thanks for letting me waffle.
xxxxx