break up advice

hannata said:
I think I'd need an up day for something traumatic like that too lol... good luck, and do let us know how you get on we're all here for you xxxxxx
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Here here :) xx
 
I feel for you. Ending a relationship is never easy. However..as an 'oldie' (Not sure of your ages but he sounds young) it seems to me that this guy has taken away all your self confidence and that your lines of communication have broken down.
One of the most important things in any relationship is communication....your partner should be your 'best friend' and you should be able to discuss anything & everything with them in the knowledge that they will both listen & give you some sort of feedback in return. Don't be afraid to tell him its over if that is what you want. Do it in a calm and clear way and most certainly not when he has had a drink. Don't give him any in depth explanation about why..you have already given him chance to 'up his game' and let him know his failings..by giving explanations you are just opening the door to letting him make promises he is unlikely to keep. He is taking you for granted...you are worth so much more than that..and for someone who obviously has the confidence at work to do so well..you should not be letting your partner remove that confidence in your personal life..he should be boosting it.
Good Luck, you can do it..infact we can all be whatever we want to be..we just need to believe it.
 
Oh no... How awful for u to be in this position :-/ I feel for u!

I must say I was once wanting to end a relationship with a bf and didn't know how to do it - I did it totally wrong... I was mean and awful to him thinking he would finish with me and I could be the victim!! Wrong now I see! After a few weeks my mother told me I had to end it as it was turning me into a nasty person!
So I did... Via text :-( then I went on a 2 week holiday leaving him with all the unanswered question.

I am a decent person tho so I met him after my holiday to answer ye questions and I just wish I'd done that at the beginning.
It never going to be easy... But stay strong and don't let him change yr mind!! ;-) xxx
 
I think it has all been said already but for what it's worth - I think you just need to be blunt and get it done with. You are worth SO much more than this bloke. Take it from me, there are lovely fellas out there - I found a great one after my first marriage failed. I was convinced that I would end up alone in a bedsit and 10 cats but here I am about to celebrate my 2nd wedding anniversary. What I have learned is that holding it all in doesn't work - you will boil over or have a stroke. Get it out - you will feel a whole lot lighter and that's without JUDDD. Big hugs :)
 
If u think he might go ballistic it might be worth arranging to meet him in a public place. You might want to change the locks as well.
 
Oh hun, reading what you write is like turning back the clock to my younger self, when I was in the same position. I kept pretending that things would get better, even though deep inside I knew that they wouldn't. Don't let the little voice in your head, or him, persuade you that:

1. It's just a phase you're going through. It isn't, it's called being a grown up
2. He can change. He won't, and he'll throw it back in your face whenever you argue that he's 'changed' for you
3. It's just a phase all relationships go through. They don't, partners in equal relationships evolve and grow together, whereas you've grown without him
4. You'll never find anybody like him to take his place. God willing, you WON'T find anybody like him, you'll find somebody that is deserving of you and treats you his lover not his mother

There's a lot to be said for never complain and never explain - you don't owe him any explanation, other than to say that it's become obvious that you're at different places in your life, and that neither of you is making the other as happy as they could be. If he wants more explanation, tell him that you don't feel able to discuss it further at present, but that your decision is final. As some of the other ladies have said, make sure that you get your keys back on the spot, and it may be necessary to block him on your phone because he'll most likely still be making the drunken middle of the night calls.

Good luck lovely, let us know how you get on x
 
Owww my little lumpy!!!
Just to echo the above posts - u do seem done so no point in pondering it anymore, but for all
His faults hes been a part of ur life for a while and if hes not expecting this, dont b cruel - just be honest that its just not working the way youd hoped and you'd both better as people being separate than together.
Dont forget too uve gone through a shitty time on vlcd i found i was feeling so low and im only just starting to perk back up now (thank u judddd!!!) so u may have found him a lot more irritating than usual due to the diet - god knows my poor fella has suffered!!!!!!

Life is short hun - u owe it to urself to be happy and content :) the skinny you deserves this :) good luck for weigh in tomoro xx
 
thanks everyone who posted, you really helped me yesterday!

we have split now, it was awkward as arse! i told him where i thought things were going wrong but tried to keep it not too cutting but firm enough that i got my point across. he was quite defensive at first but after i'd had my initial purge of getting the annoying things off my chest, i did manage to calm down and explain that we are 2 different people, basically theres things i want in life and go after whereas everything he does is more of a means to an end. i explain that while there was nothing wrong with this, it wasnt making for a good compatible relationship between us as we're just too dissimilar.

we left it quite amicably in the end, only thing is now football starts back tomorrow and im going to the game! eek! just hope the gossipmongers aren't in my face, thats what i hate about being in a goldfish bowl environment! x
 
Ahhhh bless u!! Even if the gossips r there youll b old news by next week!! I live on a small island and pretty much everyone knows everyones else business before they know it themselves!! ahahaha
 
littlemumma said:
Ahhhh bless u!! Even if the gossips r there youll b old news by next week!! I live on a small island and pretty much everyone knows everyones else business before they know it themselves!! ahahaha
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lol im the same, not on an island but in a small village so you can imagine what that's like, but yes like you say, old news by next week! anyway, im on an up day today so that'll cheer me up! having pizza for lunch :) xx
 
Bigs hugs for you hun, well done that can't have been easy, hope everything works out well for you x Enjoy your PIZZA XX
 
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