"But you don't need to lose weight..."

Wow, thank you for all your replies to this thread! I'm really sorry to hear that a lot of you have had the same trouble with your friends. :( Come to think of it, a couple of my friends said they were worried that I wouldn't be "cuddly" anymore! :( I don't want to be known as the "cuddly" one. :rolleyes:

Luckily my family is really supportive as they KNOW I need to lose weight (they have seen how unhappy I've been all these years) but I guess I have kept it a bit more hidden from friends. :sigh:

It's really good to know that those of you who have lost weight have had compliments, and have been told there's a positive change. That's excellent. :)

*big hugs* for those of you who've had those unintentionally hurtful comments aimed at them. :(
 
Keep going Bonstar - we do it for ourselves and nobody else! Those lbs will disappear quicker than you think! x
 
Spannerwanner said:
Since I hit around BMI 30 I've started to get people saying I don't need to lose any more and if you just look at my face I can see that is how it looks but I still have huge rolls of fat on my thighs, tummy and upper arms that must die!!
Click to expand...

I did think this about my mum (she lost 6 stone on Lighter Life), but it was actually the diet that didn't suit her. She looks much better on real food! And she's maintained the weight for a year now so she looks even better.
 
I have had this. I think often people are just saying 'you look alright to us'. They don't think you are overweight because they don't see too much flab. But you sound as if you are the same weight and height as me, and when I lost a few stones in the past I really did look a lot better.
 
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I think people often don't mean to be unkind or unhelpful, they're just used to you looking a certain way - that's 'you', to them, so naturally it's a bit bewildering when 'you' start to change. Perhaps they are unconsciously worrying that their relationship with you will change too?

People just need time to adjust, I guess. Same as we do ourselves. :)
 
People just fear change, don't let them put you down!

I can't think of all the times I've gotten the dreadfuls 'oh, you don't need it' or 'you'd look so different', or 'but you're gorgeous how you are', or 'but curvy women are much hotter', those sorts of comments.

I'm the same size and height as you and I often get complimented on clothes, hair, etc but wouldn't it be fabulous if everyone you knew noticed how much fitter you've gotten instead? I think so :)

Just think that if people think you're all right the way you are now, then you'll be great once you're proud of the way you look and what you've accomplished.
 
I've had the same, most of my friends and family are thrilled to see such a change in me and my health.
I've maintained for a year now.
People who didn't know me when I was over 21stone don't tell me I'm too slim.
A couple of my "friends" have a real problem with the fact that I might be thinner than them.
Loads of people say "so what size are you now then?"
I would never dream of saying that to them. They never asked me that question when I was size 28/30.
One friend told me she had always thought of me as "motherly" and couldn't do that any more - GOOD!
 
Or

...............,but you've got such a lovely
personality!!!

:eek:
 
Exactamundo tarotwoman.
 
Thank you x
 
This is gonna sound awful but I agree with Lee Janogly in her book "Only fat people skip breakfast" in that sometimes telling people you are on a diet can trigger a response from them to break you! It's never done deliberately. It's their own personal issues that cause them to do so. I feel myself it's best to let as few people know as possible. If anyone offers you something, you can always say "No thanks I am sooooo stuffed" or "I had a really big lunch". When the weight loss becomes noticable and they ask just mention that you have taken up whatever exercise you are doing and it is having a pleasent side effect!

 
I agree with KookieDoh; I've not told one person about it yet and I'm still debating whether or not to do it.

On one hand, I feel like if I tell people, it'll be like 'public information' and I'll feel more compelled to reach my goal whereas if I fail, I won't have disappointed anybody. But failure's not an option this time (althought I can't help being a little sceptical).

On the other hand, not telling anyone is often better because people treat you differently or might even find it comical... I'm not sure.

What's best?
 
I've tried telling everyone and their dog about diets in the past, but to be honest the more people I tell the less willpower I seem to have. Not sure why.
This time the only person I've told is my bf - and because I've been (mostly) choosing healthier options I've actually been strugging to make up the calories for the day (as in I'm eating too few), I am only on my first week though.
Only you will know what's best for you - what have you done in the past?

Oh... and you won't fail!!!
 
I haven't set out to tell people this time around, and it seems to be a huge contributor to my ability to stick to it. Alas people at work started noticing I'd stopped eating pizza and chips for lunch and was instead having a single sandwich, and a simple "I'm counting calories and losing weight" seemed to be enough. They ask now and again how it's working out, but it's not incessant.
 
I didn't tell anyone apart from my OH until it became aparent and people started asking and commenting. In truth
it was around the 3 stone mark.
Tben I told a few people at work and various people said things like
it doesn't work - so and so did that
etc.
However I stuck to it whole heartedly and eventually a rash of various different types of diet broke out.
i changed my job last Feb. I went back there this week and one of the ladies who didn't diet last year has just lost 4 stone, so it goes on.
It's quite amazing how inspirational this diet is to people.
 
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