Can you help me - compromise pending

[Happy Holidays]

You say that going on holiday isn't a suitable celebration because you can afford it and would be doing it anyway ... but it's 25 years of happy marriage which has enabled you to be in the very fortunate position of being able to do it ... which IMHO is worth celebrating

I don't know much about Tibet or Beijing but I do know it's a special place to visit and there's always 'something' on these types of holidays which will be the 'icing on the cake' ... you think hard enough and you'll find it, I'm sure.

Maybe a little detour to watch a cricket match in India? What a pity the Olympics are in London!

I've been to Bejing before & its the train journey from Bejing to Tibet I particularly want to go on. This afternoon I did look at going to watch cricket in India or Sri Lanka, so think I'll mention it.

Id agree with that... last thing you want is him coming under duress and it being very obvious he doesnt want to be there.

What about a smaller party, something at home, with closer friends

Is there a different style of party hed like maybe that could be a bit of a compromise. I dont want to sound rude but quite honestly if I was going to a party I can think of nothing worse than there being kids party games etc at it. Id find that more awkward and embarassing than a cake.

I think though if he really feels that strongly about it you definitely need to sit down and see what his 'ideal' celebration would be and take it from there. Its going to look incredibly odd if you have a party to celebrate your anniversary and hes not there

I don't want him there under duress I want him there of his own accord, I'll ask him what he wants & see if we can come up with something we both want to do. I'd like to have friends & family there with me to celebrate though.

You are considering his feelings - why isn't he considering yours?

I think that is why I'm particulary mad with him right now, I don't think he is considering my feelings I think he is being selfish.

Sounds like a non starter to me and just not worth the hassle.

If holidays float his boat then do that. I am sure you can find a destination that would be brilliant for you both............have you been to Brunei.

You are very fortunate to have been to so many places that you feel you have so few choices left. You work very, very hard for your holidays and I know from what you post here that you make lots of economies to do it and never ever squander your pennies.

I admire what you do tremendously and would love to have the solution for you.

Brunei is a safe haven for wildlife, rain-forest and reefs. Brunei is also a safe haven for wildlife lovers, adventure travellers, ecotourism, wilderness travellers, divers, sailors and exploring. Luxury hotels, jungle chalets, traditional longhouses and campsites cater to all tastes and budgets. The Ulu Temburong National Park draws thousands of visitors, scientists and school students each year.

My late brother loved it there.​

You know the stubborn streak in me wants to have a party, and I do know how lucky I am to have visited so many wonderful places & experienced so much & the best of it I know I'm going to have more of the same. Sue I'm sort of worried now, you know me so well Brunei sounds perfect, I'm going to look into this over the weekend.

This is why I love this forum, so many views on the same 'problem' and all valid, constuctive and helpful.

Thank you all

 

[Happy Holidays]

After a long chat this morning I think we've now come up with a plan.

No party but.......

Fly first class to Kolkata, Darjeeling steam train to Darjeeling, train to Tibet, few days in Tibet then the train from Tibet to Bejing & fly first class to Manchester.

It won't be happening when it's our anniversary as OH holidays are booked & he isn't off then so it will be sometime later in the year.

 

[ronniejacobs]

wow what a hol!

 

[Happy Holidays]

I'm disappointed there's no party but yep what a holiday, I've always wanted to fly first class & said if ever we had enough money would do.

It was OH's idea, to go first class I fitted the rest around the flights

 

[Shrimpy]

Wow! What a hollibob! I would give up a party for that! lol.

 

[Ali*]

After a long chat this morning I think we've now come up with a plan.

No party but.......

Fly first class to Kolkata, Darjeeling steam train to Darjeeling, train to Tibet, few days in Tibet then the train from Tibet to Bejing & fly first class to Manchester.

It won't be happening when it's our anniversary as OH holidays are booked & he isn't off then so it will be sometime later in the year.

What a compromise!! Lol!

I think I might just suggest a surprise party to my hubby ... which he would hate ... now where do I want to go??

Nice one!

 

[Bunnylush]

I think you've won there! I'm with your Mr and hate parties!!! I would do anything to get out of going to one! Let alone throwing one 'shudders'

Happy Holidays xx

 

[NiaX]

Well done on finding a nice holiday.

Our friend turned 40 recently but said that he did not want a party. It was such a shame because so many of his friends and family wanted to get together and celebrate with him. He agreed to a compromise of everyone getting together for a meal at a restaurant. His girlfriend found a lovely Italian place that agreed to host the evening and an amazing 50 people came. Everyone enjoyed and the night was a massive success. Maybe you could wait for a few weeks and then mention this to your hubby?

 

[Happy Holidays]

Well done on finding a nice holiday.

Our friend turned 40 recently but said that he did not want a party. It was such a shame because so many of his friends and family wanted to get together and celebrate with him. He agreed to a compromise of everyone getting together for a meal at a restaurant. His girlfriend found a lovely Italian place that agreed to host the evening and an amazing 50 people came. Everyone enjoyed and the night was a massive success. Maybe you could wait for a few weeks and then mention this to your hubby?

Oh I've already got plans in my head our anniversary is on a Sunday & then it's bank holiday Monday so I thought if there was something on at Houghton Towers (near where we live) maybe we could go & ask people to join us, or maybe have a meal at our favourite restaurant & invite a 'few' friends But I'll leave this suggestion for a while