ProPoints CarlyLanky140's Food Diary (28/155lb)

Awwww carly ... Ignore them, you know yourself that you have goals .... Your just enjoying yourself right now! Xxxx
 
CarlyLanky140 said:
Thanks :) having the boxing day blues,.. Just tired and tearful and snapping at everyone! I hate that one minute they are ramming food down my throat and next time are watching every mouthful and nagging :( just feel like utter rubbish! X
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Hate ppl watching/commenting on what I eat. Mind yer bells in nose!! My diet. My choice. Fook off!! Try ignore it chick xx
 
Having the same problem Carly. I told my family I'll do what I want. I know how I feel and were I want to be in my life. They haven't mentioned anything since. Even when I took out my cheese board hehe. Sending you hugs xx
 
Lol.... Glad I'm not the only one...my mum said "u told me to shout at you" yes weeks ago not on boxing day after u just fed me pavlova!! Lol and I said to my gran "I don't want to ruin the photos" when discussing my friends wedding and instead of protesting she just said yea I kno!! Lol!!!! Families lol xx
 
Carly my mum always used to say to me are you gonna eat that, do you not think you'll just get fatter, and now that I've lost the weight she keeps saying its no good to eat nothing, your too thin. Then when up in her house she watched me eat one farero rochett and said thought you were trying to lose weight. I was like no mammy I've been maintaining for ages now, she just threw her eyes to heaven. But I'm well used to it at this stage, so don't pay any attention. hehe xx
 
Grrrrr! Families!!! X
 
I hate all that like we don't feel guilty enough as it is, my mum always does it without thinking, I know she doesn't mean it as she knows how hat it is but little comments still get to you, because I eat breakfast lunch and dinner, whenever I've had lunch and I start making dinner she always says but you have just eaten. I have to remind her that I'm allowed lunch and dinner in a diet!
 
Haha! Sounds like mine! Cx
 
This is going to be a long and rambling post... It's one where u don't really mind if u get a reply but u just need to say all that's on ur mind....

I tried my best to buy gifts my friends would like... And I got generic tat from people who clearly don't kno me at all! Think the ultimate present is a Houdini puzzle key... Please someone tell me what possessed my friend to waste his money? I kno I sound like an ungrateful cow... And looking back some of the pressies I bought weren't amazing but I really tried and thought about each person! :( anyways enough of that.... I got some lovely lovely things :) I love Christmas but boxing day is depressing.... It's all over and bk to work... I wish my family were like that all year.. No bickering just fun and playing games together not all 4 of us in 4 separate rooms... When I have kids I want a proper family!!!! I want to do anything for them and go to all their plays etc... But even saying that is depressing... All my friends have boyfriends/husbands and houses ... Fair few have kids... And I couldn't be further from all of those things....

I'm repulsive.... I hate how I look... But I'm so skint that I'm worried to lose weight coz I can't afford clothes!!!

My job works me so hard and every day I feel like I can't do it... I feel sick at the thought of going bk... The thought of work till August makes me panic... But in so terrified that if I try teaching it won't be right... How do u kno before u do it?!

Then my little sister who I love and trust and always bounce things off makes a flippant remark "there are only do many times you can say im bored of this" - why does no-one understand that my previous jobs were all a means to an end... Were never meant to be long term..... I left one job a month before I was meant to because I was bullied so badly that I had to go on antidepressants I couldn't sleep so feel asleep at work... I only just weened myself off the damn things 4 years later....

Why does no-one see?!?! I try hard at everything I do... Right now I feel like I'm just waiting to slip up and drop one ball
And all of them will fall.... I work 10-12 hours a day plus 2 hours driving time... I'm exhausted and fed up... I just don't feel like I can do the job... There is always something new to learn and I can't cope!!! Then my darling sis says "how do you know every job won't be like that?" arghhhhhh - does anyone have a clue what I do?! What I need to know?!

Sorry I sound ridiculous... Just needed to vent....

These new job offers are good... But obviously the same job.... Just nearer to home so save £150-200 a month on petrol and £2-5k more a year... But I'm do scared the new place will see how sh*t I am or will expect too much... And worried I will have to pay money bk to either of both for training if I do leave in Aug for teaching...

Most of all I'm fed up of the lack of support from my family and supposed best friends....

I just need to decide....

Resolutions
1. Sort job/career
2. Get to goal weight by new year (and as low as poss before being a bridesmaid)
3. Learn to love myself!


If u read this far u get a medal for reading that self indulgent rubbish! Lol

Snap out of it Carly!

Love to all my Minimins friends

Xxx

I
 
I am training to be a nurse and I to get days where I think I can't do this as everyday there is something new to learn and I feel so responsible it scares me, I have had loads of little jobs throughout my years that were a mean to an end to, my parents are old fashioned and didn't understand when I wanted to leave my jobs to better myself but now they can see why I did it, well I'm assuming this as its never said.

You are not vile your lovely and everything will fall into place it just takes time, if you are really unhappy I would say change your job its somewhere we spend most of our day so we need to not dread going there for our sanity, what have you got to loose? As long as there is a job to go to.

This time two years ago I felt like I had lost everything the man I was supposed to marry left me for his work colleague a few months before we were due to get married (everything was booked) we were due to move into a new house that weekend and I had recently left my job for a nursing career (big pay cut!) so I was so scared and lonely.

But I got through it I never thought I would be with someone else but it happened and I'm happy again, we all go through these dips in life but we always dust ourselves off and carry on, life is hard! So dust yourself off and start again get your diet up together as its something we can actually have control over in our lives! call these new jobs get some information on them and then see how you feel, and everything else will slowly come together.

This might not help you but it does me just imagine your problems and then think of some of the stuff other people are going through they suddenly feel so small, we are very lucky really we just forget this sometimes as life gets in the way.
 
Thanks darling :) lovely reply! And u are right - these problems are small. I have a job and food on the table and my health!

I am so sorry ur ex was an utter sh*tbag! Glad u found someone new :D

I hope u are enjoying nursing now :)

I just need to decide what I'm doing... I think deep down I kno I am doing teaching come August (if I'm accepted) but I kno it will cause fall out! Cxx
 
That ok, I think you should go for it and if people fall out with you that's their problem it is your life an they will eventually see why you did it
 
Thanks darling :) how are u doing today? Feeling less bloated? When are u getting bk on plan? How much do u have left to lose? When is WI? X
 
Hiya Carly just reading your posts now and my heart goes out to you. You need to sit down and think what is really best for you, never mind what others think or suggest. In the long run the only person who will be happy or miserable with your decisions is you. You seem to really really want to teach so just go for it, don't put it off and don't look at how others MIGHT feel about it. You seem unhappy in your job so as Baby belle says look into these new posts, use them as the stepping stones to your dream career.

I went through something that caused me alot of confusion too when I went to college. Firstly I thought I wanted to do 'hotel management' and got into the college, moved from home into a house 4 hrs from home, went into college on the first day and realised this isn't what I wanted to do, I wanted to be a nurse but was terrified I was too stupid. I rang my mum in the middle of the first lecture and about 5 hrs later she came and got me. I did a computer and business course for a year while I applied for the nursing. Got in, went to nursing school (lived with a shower of shites but didn't mind it was a means to the end I wanted) and graduated. The best thing I ever did in my life. Hardest too what with living with vindictive bullying scumbags and leaving my boyfriend (now hubby) at home.

So Carly if you've been thinking about teaching for so long, go for it, it might be hard but you'll be happy at the end xxxxx Best of luck
 
CarlyLanky140 said:
Thanks darling :) how are u doing today? Feeling less bloated? When are u getting bk on plan? How much do u have left to lose? When is WI? X
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That's ok hunny I'm feeling ok today although my sleep pattern is crazy and I've missed my gym class so I'm going to a friends later and were going to do some yoga and squats ect so I feel like I'm doing something! I am still bloated but had a nice smoothie and my body is starting to like me again ha ha. It's wi tomo gulp! I was 9.10 on my last wi so had ten pounds to loose but might be more now! (although target is 9.4) I know 9 is where I'd love to be.
 
MrsLmc said:
Hiya Carly just reading your posts now and my heart goes out to you. You need to sit down and think what is really best for you, never mind what others think or suggest. In the long run the only person who will be happy or miserable with your decisions is you. You seem to really really want to teach so just go for it, don't put it off and don't look at how others MIGHT feel about it. You seem unhappy in your job so as Baby belle says look into these new posts, use them as the stepping stones to your dream career.

I went through something that caused me alot of confusion too when I went to college. Firstly I thought I wanted to do 'hotel management' and got into the college, moved from home into a house 4 hrs from home, went into college on the first day and realised this isn't what I wanted to do, I wanted to be a nurse but was terrified I was too stupid. I rang my mum in the middle of the first lecture and about 5 hrs later she came and got me. I did a computer and business course for a year while I applied for the nursing. Got in, went to nursing school (lived with a shower of shites but didn't mind it was a means to the end I wanted) and graduated. The best thing I ever did in my life. Hardest too what with living with vindictive bullying scumbags and leaving my boyfriend (now hubby) at home.

So Carly if you've been thinking about teaching for so long, go for it, it might be hard but you'll be happy at the end xxxxx Best of luck
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I also thought I was to stupid to be a nurse silly arnt we! I didn't know you were a nurse to I qualify in August!
 
Wow that's exciting :) qualifying in Aug! Good luck :)

Well done for following yr dreams laura!

The new jobs don't help follow my dream they are still as a solicitor but better paid so may help me save up for the course...

Thanks for sharing and helping :)

Baby belle - enjoy ur exercises :) good luck with WI x
 
Baby-belle said:
I also thought I was to stupid to be a nurse silly arnt we! I didn't know you were a nurse to I qualify in August!
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I'm a psychiatric nurse. Qualified years ago lol. The learning only really starts once you qualify, but it's such a rewarding job. xx
 
Awww wow :) x
 
MrsLmc said:
Hiya Carly just reading your posts now and my heart goes out to you. You need to sit down and think what is really best for you, never mind what others think or suggest. In the long run the only person who will be happy or miserable with your decisions is you. You seem to really really want to teach so just go for it, don't put it off and don't look at how others MIGHT feel about it. You seem unhappy in your job so as Baby belle says look into these new posts, use them as the stepping stones to your dream career.

I went through something that caused me alot of confusion too when I went to college. Firstly I thought I wanted to do 'hotel management' and got into the college, moved from home into a house 4 hrs from home, went into college on the first day and realised this isn't what I wanted to do, I wanted to be a nurse but was terrified I was too stupid. I rang my mum in the middle of the first lecture and about 5 hrs later she came and got me. I did a computer and business course for a year while I applied for the nursing. Got in, went to nursing school (lived with a shower of shites but didn't mind it was a means to the end I wanted) and graduated. The best thing I ever did in my life. Hardest too what with living with vindictive bullying scumbags and leaving my boyfriend (now hubby) at home.

So Carly if you've been thinking about teaching for so long, go for it, it might be hard but you'll be happy at the end xxxxx Best of luck
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I went through some confusion too like laura ... I quit nursing half way thru coz I felt like I couldn't go on .... My boyfriend (now fiancé) was out on a 7month tour of Iraq with his regiment .. And 2 weeks after saying goodbye to him, wondering if id ever see him again, my mum needed open heart surgery on her valve. I gave up uni for a whole year ... I didn't think I had any dreams left and I spent a year working as a pizza hut waitress .. I eventually realised my lifes mission was to make something of myself after abuse from pizza hut customers and went back to uni after a year of trying to decide who I was.. Ive been qualified a year and a half now ..... what im trying to says is .... NEVER GIVE UP on your dreams .... Even if things seem impossible to reach ... I nearly gave up ... You must do what makes you happy! Xxx xxx xxx
 
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