Well, it's bizarre going back and reading about my 13 week hourney on SS, it actually made me feel a little sad that I worked so hard and yet I let it slip away, it is difficult to restart a diet knowing that it wasn't all a bed of roses and some days were quite frankly horrendous!
But, I have noted down my weekly losses in my signature, and realised that potentially if I was as good, and the fact I have 8 weigh in's until Christmas, I could lose 39lbs.....taking me to 11 Stone 5lbs.......I do have a night out planned on 13th November and 17th December however so this may be an issue, but the fact I can see in black and white what COULD be achieved has actually spurred me on.
I remember the feeling the day I got to goal, I remember my holiday only a few days later and the photographs we took and the fact that in every one was a smiling girl who looked like she had a nice figure, I didn't look fat, or frumpy, I simply looked NORMAL.
I confess, my husband and friends thought 11 stone was too thin (normal BMI) but as they had seen nothing but my moon face for the past 15 years it was to be expected.
I want to feel nice at my Christmas party in a nice dress, and I want to feel that I am not the fat girl hiding in the corner.
Is this possible? Perhaps, but I have to keeo focusing on the end result, and try to escape from the feelings of hunger and deprivation that I felt last year on my journey.
Reading this diary I can see the number of people who I have inspired, which is why it was difficult to admit that instead of my promises of sensible eating and regular exersize, I kind of went mad towards food.
I actually went thru a period of being anti - cambridge because it didn't really sort my issues which is something I am working on this time around.
I hate water, did I mention that ? I find it very very hard to drink the recommended amount (would prefer coke zero) but I know this is something I have to take on board for the journey yet again.
To those newbies reading, please take my advice......when you get to goal, and you will some day, do the maintenance properly and stay in touch with your Counsellor.
I am lucky that mine was still there, and didn't seem disappointed in me, in fact she always states I am her best loser she has ever had (in a nice way) ! And she said, you have done it before, we both know you can do it again.
My husband did 5 days with me to help me thru the first few bad days of headaches and basically feeling like I was dying. Tonight he had a jacket potato and now I am doing the journey alone. Well, not quite as I hopefully still have the attention of some old, and hopefully some new friends.
I need this forum, as much as I need to lose weight, because without it, I just cannot survive.
I apologise in advance for my moans, my TMI about my bowels and my ups and downs.
Love Charley (Back on That Bloody Wagon Again)
