Crazy life of Chilli

[ChilliQueen]

that's lovely @ladybird777 that you gave them good memories even during a difficult time.

You see much as I'm not having a guilt fest - the first 2 years after ex left I was just so debilitated financially I really couldn't do much. I did try to do my best in the home to make the kids feel valued and I think it's worked. For my son it's being helped to paint now and then, helped in his games and lots of snuggles and chats. For my daughter it was the random 2 hour chats in the middle of the night lol. But since she's been working the past 3 months it's just been little chats when she's home from work. I still don't have loads of cash since daughter started work but things are definitely so much better than they were.

I did my best, I don't expect my son to remember too much, but my daughter does comment how much better things are here than they ever where when ex was around.

As day 3 is beginning I had a cheeky step on my scales and I'm 2 down already I really think the water is significant I seem to remember when I did it in the past people able to keep on top of the water had much better results. I am also remembering that one feels cold on a VLCD diet lol, but it is the season to move in to cosy clothing and wrap up.

I've taken out a toffee caramel shake, a strawberry one, chicken and leek soup and a bean chilli for today. I am working 1800-2000 and then 2100 for a sleepover shift tonight finishing at 9am tomorrow. So I'll have all my packs before 6 tonight I'm trying out the strawberry one just now in fact - its good. It's easy not to eat at work

I'm continuing my ongoing laziness, I'm sat watching a fairly sleepy movie - The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I can't remember who, but someone recommended it after my breakup. It's an interesting concept that given the choice of erasing his ex from him memory he suddenly isn't sure about it. I won't say too much more incase anyone wants to watch it. It's a little confusing as two timelines overlap.

It's quite a thought provoking movie. I'm no longer injured when I think of my memories anyway but I know I wouldn't want to lose them, not that I think of him in a positive way or dwell on either the good or bad memories - I do not. What I cherish are the lessons, the recovery and how far I have come. The fact is if you removed the memories you'd lose all you learned as well. That would become a genuine waste of a life.

I admire people able to dream up such imaginative stories though! I need to get back to writing my own.

On that note it's now 5 weeks since I left my old job, I've allowed myself to be lazy for much of that time. I've done my work shifts and cleared out a lot upstairs and ran my art groups and done everything necessary for my kids so I'm aware I've not done 'nothing' but I haven't done anything to advance my home business. So next week I think it's time I really need to push myself. I keep saying I'm going to but don't.

Well as I've been distracted I started this post around 9, it's now 11.20 haha. The strawberry shake is long finished and I'm up to 1100ml of fluids so far so good.

Back later

 

[ChilliQueen]

checking back in. Chicken and leek soup, not that great but I remember from my past adding some boullion and extra water to soup, so I made it up with some boullion and double the water and quite enjoyed it that way. So again not a lost pack. plus extra fluid too so win win. I'm up to 1850ml now and it's only 1245, but it will be a bit harder to get fluids in from 6pm onwards.

 

[ChilliQueen]

sorry for spamming my own diary haha.

So I just had the chilli, which was a small bland portion... so I decided to be a rebel and added a pack of cauli rice. I don't much like the cauli rice as 'rice' but it was actually ok mixed with the chilli. I also added onion salt, and pepper and it was quite nice by the time I'd finished my additions.

Sometimes a little inventiveness matters.

I can't get another discount with exante, but if I buy through work I get points through our points system which is still useful. So buying a month box like this - with it's compromise of not being able to choose the contents - is still discounted on the exante page. It costs just under £70 which is 82/product, well less actually because you also get a water enhancer. If you are picking and choosing smaller packs of chosen products will cost almost double which I would struggle to justify, although I know I'll recoup probably most of the cash by not having to buy much in the way of food for myself.

In any case, taking what comes in the box and accepting it's a minor compromise will save a lot of cash, I may still need a little extra now and then.

I'll have my last shake before leaving for work, probably have it at about 1715, and I'm up to 2650ml with my water so shouldn't be a problem getting over 3litres

 

[ladybird777]

They have loads of different offers on the Exante site and you can choose what you get.

 

[ChilliQueen]

Toffee caramel shake was good, and I'm over 3litres

The upside of caring for an older lady her house is boiling

As I'm clearly impulsive, but needing all the motivation and determination I went online earlier and bought enough exante products to last me till the end of the year. I had an emailed discount code and I decided that this is my investment in myself. A chunk of weight gone will be my Xmas gift to myself.

I've calculated that if I add it all up it costs me around £25/week, which is actually less than I'd probably pay for my food

Having it all 'in stock' is my way of offering my commitment to myself and my health.

Can't remember if I've already said but... 3 days done, 81 to go!

 

[ladyfelsham]

The fact is if you removed the memories you'd lose all you learned as well. That would become a genuine waste of a life.

I absolutely love this and am a big believer in it too - there's always a silver lining, and something rich to be kept from a horrible experience.

I just told a neighbour that getting ill last year was the best thing that could ever have happened to me, because now I'm so much healthier, losing weight, bonding with and belonging to my neighbourhood, and having a much more positive outlook on things. Win win xx

£25 for your weekly spend is good, sounds like it's working really well for you, and a good idea to make wee tweaks like cauli rice.

 

[ChilliQueen]

super fast update before I head off for my covid booster. I decided to eat early today as I don't feel wise having an injection on an empty stomache, especially when I have to drive home. I'm usually totally fine but just in case.

My shifts last night went well, the good thing about working in care is that people tend to keep their homes super hot lol. I didn't miss nibbling anything, I've really not felt hungry at all since starting.

Today I've had a cranberry choc bar for breakfast, and I'm up to 800ml fluid already. I've looked out a berry shake, a chocolate one, and an apple crumble pack. Honestly I'd rather have a soup or a more meal like package rather than a pudding, but there are a handful of these and yoghurts, choco puff cereal and that sort of thing and they'll all need using. As I said before it's the compromise of the cheaper month bundle, and that's ok.

Right I best go get jabbed, wish me luck - I've felt vile after both the others, I deliberately planned it for when I know I'm not working later!

 

[ladyfelsham]

Good luck, let’s hope no ill effects this time!

 

[ladybird777]

Hope you are OK after the booster. I was fine with both of my vaccines but we have no boosters here yet. I found the Exante packs a bit sweet tbh. The shakes go down better blended with crushed ice instead of water.

 

[purpleorc]

I meet up regularly with my mum go shopping and out for a bite to eat. Then back for afternoon tea. I really treasure those days I have some excellent memories. Then my sister does likewise so we each get a bit of time alone with my mum. Then every so often I invite mum to stay with us for a few weeks. So she gets a break from cooking and cleaning etc. During lockdown mum stopped with us for over 5 months. So that she wouldn't be alone. My sisters girls were all frontline workers so it made my sister high risk for helping mum. So I took up the mantle. During that time mum ate my SW programme but a little softer approach. I did say you don't have to do this but mum wanted to do it. During this time lost over 1.5 stone. I was so proud of her. Since going home she hasn't put it back on. Her BMI is now below 30 so has done well.

 

[ChilliQueen]

thanks @ladyfelsham and @ladybird777 I've had the flu jab and the covid booster at once in the end, so I'm hoping I don't feel awful later.

I have a sweet tooth so I guess I don't mind the sweetness. I don't mind any of them really so far.

@purpleorc your Mum has done great to keep off the weight, you must have got her into some good food she likes. It's true what they say time is the most valuable thing to spend on someone.

I'm having a choco shake

 

[ChilliQueen]

it has come to my notice that I miscounted it's only 78 days (including today) until the end of the year. So as of yesterday 3 days down, 78 to go.

I've still 2 packs to have, I'm not going to worry about extending the eating window a little today after starting early for vaccination reasons. Currently on 1900ml fluid and probably going to try the berries shake next and keep the apple pie and custard for a bit later.

 

[ChilliQueen]

The berries shake was ok, not amazing but ok. I quite liked the apple crumble and custard though!

I'm on 2950mls counting the drink in front of me, so I'll manage to get over the 3l.

my covid jab arm is already swollen and sore, the normal flu arm is still fine. I have a bit of a headache and I'm feeling a little achey but not too bad. I'm also a little tired but probably because I don't sleep that well when I'm on a shift rather than my vaccines.

I'll have an early night and hopefully sleep through most of the symptoms if I have any.

Tonight was a struggle as I went to pick up my click and collect shopping but they hadn't given me the crisps I ordered for the kids nor substituted them, so I also popped in to the local shop just to get some. It was a struggle in all honesty, I wanted to buy and eat all manner of nonsense! But I can't pretend I'm hungry - I'm really not at all. I'm pleased I managed to just pick up what I went in for and out and home.

4 days down, 77 to go!

I found a pic of me in the dress I made last year and have been wearing more recently. There is about a stone difference between the pics. I feel like I look a little taller but I don't think that's necessarily to do with the weight. I think I'm carrying myself better because I'm happier. Can you see the difference?

 

[ladyfelsham]

WOW a huge difference!!! It looks to me that you’ve lost loads more than that so definitely a good dress to keep taking your before and after shots in. And yes there’s also a big difference in the way you’re standing, looking very comfortable in your own skin now xx

 

[purpleorc]

@ChilliQueen so true, we didn't have a lot growing up but my parents always had time for us both. After homework was done we would play board games or cards. We were taken from about 8 to play whist at whist drives. So I can't remember a time when I couldn't play cards. Time playing around the dining room table are some of my precious memories. When my grandparents came over at Christmas we would play Newmarket and play for pennies.

I can see such a significant difference between your photographs. I wish I had taken a picture 5 stone ago. but I hated photos with the size I was. It would have been nice now to see how far I have come. when you are losing weight you don't see the difference for a while with losing a few pounds a week. But photos you can spot changes

 

[ChilliQueen]

I am grateful @purpleorc that I can spend more time with my son, when his sister was his age I was working full time but then - she was never away whereas son is away 1 or 2 days every week. Anyway We do the best we can don't we?

thank you both for the comments, in fairness I can't be sure what I weighed in the first picture, I'm basing it on what I think I was when I came back here in Feb, but I could have been even heavier I don't know I wasn't weighing much last year. I was never really comfy taking loads of pics either, but I was trying to believe in myself so whenever I made anything I'd post the pics of me wearing it on facebook.

I do think weight and how it appears on the body is a weirdly diverse thing, I've been browsing the exante success stories and yeah sometimes people look as you'd expect for their stated weight loss, but others look like they've lost more, or like they can't have had that much to lose in the first place. How every person carries it is just different.

I didn't manage to drink more yesterday so I was just under the 3litres so not too bad. I didn't sleep great as my left arm was sore, I've also started menstruating. So this morning I've got up and had a shower but I feel a bit woozy, I won't bore you with the list of parts that ache - but it isn't as bad as the last 2 covid jabs.

I continue to really feel the cold, moreso than I remember when I was last on a VLCD. I probably should have started in Spring lol, my heating bills will be going up I'm sure! I have £600 credit in my energy account which I was going to ask for some back, but I think I'll leave it till spring and claim back whats left then. I know prices are on the rise as well I'll need to keep layering up. Currently I'm wearing long sleeved, long legged Pj's and a cardigan, the house is 19.9 deg C and I'm not comfortably warm

I've started my food early again (about 0930) so I can take painkillers shortly. I'm having a chocolate shake, usually I choose my days products in the morning but today I just wanted to sit down lol.

I had another sneaky weigh, down 0.5lb, which isn't much but I can feel my hormonal boobs heavy, so I'll hopefully lose a bit more in a few days after my menstruation stops. Losing 2lb's per week would be awesome, but a first week boost would be good too lol. In the end I'll take what I get anyway.

ah well. Gonna go drink a cuppa, back later.

 

[ladybird777]

I can see a big difference on the piccies. Well done not caving to buying junk in the shop.

 

[ChilliQueen]

thanks @ladybird777

I'm all excited because my huge exante order arrived

I ordered 2x monthly boxes and a mix of add ons to ensure I had more than I needed to get to the end of the year. The only thing I might run out of is the water enhancer but the one I like is out of stock, you can get it on amazon but it's double the price. I think going on my rate of use one will last 2-3 weeks, I have 2 plus 1 in use as you get one in each monthly box. So I won't run out for ages anyway. It also means I now have 3 shaker bottles, which is great because sometimes I'm ready for another shake but haven't washed the shaker yet (yeah yeah I'm lazy).

I bought some of their pot meals and I have 6 choco puddings like angel delight that were free, some extra bars and some other bits and pieces I can't even really remember. I don't think I've felt this motivated in months.

As I miscalculated the days and calculated on using 4/day, there will be days I only use 2 or 3, so I probably have enough even to last 2 or 3 weeks into January.

I'm staying a little warmer and boosting my fluids by drinking the enhanced water hot.

 

[ChilliQueen]

I had a choc fudge bar and jeez it was actually quite nice but not easy to bite, I always think of fudge as fairly soft. It was in todays delivery so I'm hoping it was just hardened from being cold in the courier place and van

I'm on 1850ml and am being super lazy, but I still feel a bit bleh so I'm allowed.

 

[ChilliQueen]

The obsession continues. I decided to sort out the exante boxes into some sort of order. turns out I don't have enough to last on 4 packs/day to year end, short of a few days but I know there will be days I only use 2 or 3 so I'm pretty sure it will last, although there are 12 of the caramel frappe altogether and I haven't tried one yet to see if I can tolerate it.

The geek in me feels the need to share... I have 140 shakes, 73 bars, 53 bars, 53 various meals/snacks/puddings, 6 pot meals. So in general 2 shakes per day, 1 bar and a choice of soup, meal or pudding or off course a 200 calorie meal from my kitchen.

I realised I had no way of storing them in a lined up order, although if you had the space the box it comes in would work but they're not a size that fits anywhere useful for me, so I deliberately mixed them up. I'm using 2 of my ikea kallax drawers, so I have one with all the shakes mixed up and the other with the bars stacked down one side and everything else randomised beside them. It means on days when I'm feeling indecisive I will just reach in and take one. I'm going to have thai soup soon, then a shake later.

I'm going to be 154lb's or less.