Crazy life of Chilli

And to be honest, I wouldn't be overly concerned about 2 bourbons, if they are the only off plan thing and you can stick to the 2 of them then it's not all bad.
 
yes I've only had the 2 bourbons most nights and sometimes a 1/4 or 1/2 sandwich. On a positive note I know that I've eaten a LOT less carbs/processed food/sugar over the past few weeks so a few nightshift glitches aren't huge on my list of worries lol.

I've finished my run of shifts now so I'm off now until a week on Friday, so time to get stuck properly back in. I plan to try a few recipes to attempt to find things to replace the things I'm tempted by on nightshifts. There are so many different things to try I'm quite excited. Have to ration myself though as I'd end up with a freezer full. Even now aside from the usual contents that the household uses I've got 2 portions of sausage curry, 2 portions of rattatouie and 2 or 3 soups frozen. I'm hoping I will build a bit of a stock so that when the kids are having something I don't want to eat I'll have choices of ready meals that suit my plans.

I did sneak a mid week weigh in the other day and was showing sts but I don't assume that anything in the middle of a run of nightshifts is accurate, we will see tomorrow morning what the verdict is.

I've not got much walking done over past few days I was knocked for six with the really difficult shift a few nights back and I've been just kind of worn out since, but I'll get lots done soon. When I wake up later we'll have a nice long walk and also tomorrow as son won't be here. The from Monday - all being well - my son will be back at school which will give me more freedom for my walks too.

I'm so looking forward to climbing into my beddie soon!
 
Hope the weigh in goes well Chilli
 
thanks guys, I'm not sure to expect a drop but not going to worry about it :)

this morning I made a kind of smoothie with ice, almond milk, berries and yoghurt, it was nice enough but I didn't drink it all. Had a sleep then got up and was a bit lazy for a bit, had some crackers and cheese, took the dog for a walk (3.6km) and then had half a squash with ratatouie, and a piece of chocolate. I'm not 100% sure of every calorie amount today especially as I didn't finish my smoothie, or my squash but it looks around 900-1000 on my app, which is higher than normal but I'm transitioning from night mode to day mode so I think that's perfectly ok.

I've been building my shopping list for next weeks click and collect I just book in advance and add to it as I realise what runs low. I wanted to order baking paper, a lot of the low carb recipes call for using it, I tried silicon coated bacofoil when I made the cloud breads and they stuck so I don't think that will work generally. Tesco has none, I mean... what's happening? are people panic buying baking paper now? lol I ended up ordering some silicon sheets from amazon, I figured those may work and are re-usable, I can use it for other things if it doesn't work for this.

I've stopped eating for the day and will be back to my usual of eating whenever I get hungry around lunch or later tomorrow, 12-8 is my usual window, but I may shorten it a bit, especially as the kids are back at school next week. I dunno I'll see what happens.

Night night
 
back for another ramble.

So the sausage curry I made with the heck sausages - it was ok but not the nicest sausage. I've just traumatised myself looking through the ingredients of sausages! the amount of pork ranges from 30-52 %! the 2nd listed ingredient is usually wheat based, and further down the list in admittedly small amounts is often a type of sugar! I knew sausages had lots of added stuff don't get me wrong, but often less than 50% pork followed by the next biggest ingredient being something wheat was a bit of a shock to be perfectly honest.

Another source of trauma is that I've made my next shopping list based on a food plan for a week for me plus the kids I was hoping to keep this to less than £60 but with the return to school and packed lunches being needed it's bumping it back up. Obviously at home I do feed my kids at lunchtime lol but filling a packed lunch is shockingly expensive. It's sitting at around £80 at the moment but I will revisit it as it's not till next friday now anyway (obsessed? me? lol) I guess it doesn't help that we need dog food and toilet roll for this shop which adds a bit as well. Only need dog food every 3rd week, toilet roll probably around the same.

we're eating a lot less potato as it's only really my daughter who wants it (son prefers pasta) but adding in extra things like more veg and chickpeas to the trolley soon overtakes the saving having added back in more bread and wraps (for the lunches) My daughter has been asking for more fruit, son is asking for more yoghurt which I never say no to, I try to only limit the rubbish food like crisps etc. I'm having to remove things I'd put in the basket to try new recipes and experiment with but I'll just have to work my way through more slowly. I already have a supply of flours etc in the cupboard now at least.

I suspect it will be an ongoing compromise for me balancing what my children want and will eat alongside my own different choices, but hey I'm not shy for a challenge :) and I'm hoping some of the things I experiment with that they like too.

As for the sausage issue, in a week or two I may try something like this...

I've not eaten yet, but have a portion of aforementioned sausage curry out the freezer for lunch, chicken goujons planned for dinner. My daughter and I are watching an episode of Blythe manor whilst her brother is away and I'm waiting for a delivery, so we're chilling. I'll take the dog out in a bit too.

Bye for now all.
 
Well done on the loss, its so encouraging isnt it? It sounds like the children are also moving to healthy choices. Though i know what you mean about grocery bill creeping up with packed lunches.
 
Well done on the loss hun, both in weight and inches, that's brilliant!

And I know what you mean about the horrors of processed food, they hide all sorts of evil things. Let me know if you make the SW sossies, I had it on my to do list for next week - I don't know why but the whole 'shaping into a sausage shape' thing seems overly difficult to me - or is that just me taking laziness to a whole new level? LOLOL.
 
I think the shaping into sausage without a skin is doomed for me. :) They will come out the oven in bits. Well done on the loss. Ikwym about food bills. Mine are running at £80 a week without packed lunches. I do have 3 cats that are very picky, and an autistic son that will only eat certain brands but I've given up buying things I want. I've almond flour, cacoa powder and nuts in the cupboard but my adhd brain cannot get around to actually baking anything with them even tho I have recipes.
 
thanks everyone, I don't usually step on the scales again but I did this morning and it's showing me down another 1lb, I won't bother counting it until next week if it stays off tho, but it's interesting that my weight may be fluctuating on days I don't know. Perhaps it would be motivating to do so, perhaps frustrating... who knows. In any case it's a downward trend and I like it for now lol.

@ladyfelsham you may get to the sausage making before me, it's likely to be week after next before I do

@ladybird777 the ones in the article look ok, and she suggests chilling them in the freezer for half an hour before cooking to help retain their shape, however I may just make sausagey meatballs, which would taste the same but perhaps be easier! My adhd brain does get in the way at times I spend so much time browsing and never choosing something to try. I find it helps to make lists of things I like the look of, and then another day choose from the list rather than browsing again.

Well good morning one and all :) yesterday was a good day. I had sausage curry for lunch, some chocolate (which is finished now but lasted a long time I didn't have more than 2 squares in any one day) and chicken goujons with root fries for dinner, AND a 7km walk with the crazy dog. All in all a successful good health day. I'm not sure how many calories it was and honestly I may stop counting. I have a fair idea what seems to fit into the 800 calories now. I'll stick to my 2 meals and continue with 16/8 windows and continue to limit snacks, avoid too many processed things and sugar and just see how I go.

My ex however is ignoring important messages about our son, 'forgot' to do any homeschool for the 2 days he was there, and has given him halo to play on his xbox (my son is 8) so I ended up quite frustrated last night and did not sleep well. I have not reacted, I can't control what happens there. If he continues to ignore the messages (asking for his input on important matters) I will just make decisions and take action without him.

Sadly there isn't anything I can do about ex, he likes to turn up and school meetings and use lots of big words, but then forgets to do school work? he believes our son has ADHD (which may well be true) but the previous week had my son sitting doing school work in his living room whilst he whizzed an excercise bike and his girlfriend was cutting stuff out with her cricut. My daughter said Mum I felt so sorry for him it was so loud and so many different noises. She definitely has ADHD so she really knows. He likes to 'appear' a good parent. It could be worse I accept that much.

Insulin is the fat storing hormone, cortisol raises insulin... takes deep breaths and carries on! I refuse to allow his actions to impact my health anymore.

That rant over, I hope today stays chilled. I like chilled.

no idea yet what I might eat but theres a cucumber needing used, so I may make cucumber subs, has anyone made these? I'll make with tuna and salad cream and perhaps sweetcorn. no idea yet for dinner.

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bye for now, lets group share 'chilled' vibes for all!
 
Chilli I hope you don't mind me saying but wow your ex sounds incredibly selfish! He really needs to be more mindful of both children's needs- and yours! I'm so pleased though to hear you say you're not going to let him impact on your health now, that;s very strong, positive and empowering, love it.

I am a shocker for planning meals, reading recipes, even doing the shopping for them - and then doing something totally different and wondering why I have the throw stuff out when it goes off! :classic_roll_eyes:

I have made the cucumber subs, think mine was with tuna and low fat soft cheese and black pepper - very nice, but it was also last summer on a nice day and really refreshing.
 
That cucumber looks like a good idea. And I was going to say re the sausages what about meatball shape or even flat patties.
 
@ladyfelsham yes he is extremely selfish. I'm long past expecting him to consider my needs but very frustrated about the kids, his hypocrisy and ongoing lack of attention. He pays his child support without fail and sees son most weeks (daughter as and when she chooses to go which isn't often at the moment) so I think he feels like a great Father, but I think it's more about appearances.

For the most part I don't care much and have spoken a lot to daughter, the absolute best thing I can do for her and her brother is not to worry or engage other than when necessary with ex, and to build our life and home here around my children, making sure they have a happy and safe place here.

@tipperary yeah patties might be better.
 
My ex is a nightmare. The saga is on here somewhere but basically he conned a judge out of our house I bought outright originally on the pretext he was going to have our twin boys living with him. He had them less than 5 months and was drinking so much SS warned me unless I removed them from the situation they would go in care. My eldest son and daughter were basically looking after them while he drank day and night and his brother, who he moved in after I left, dealt drugs from the house. By this time I had a one bed flat so had to move to a bigger one within 3 weeks They moved in with me in rented. He kept all their DLA, child benefit and Child Tax Credits for 12 weeks and refused to sign the forms confirming they were living with me. We lived on beans on toast and Shepherd's pie for 12 weeks. A month after they had moved in with me ex phoned me to say I had stolen the boy's things. He went upstairs while I was on the phone and was banging on one son's bedroom door for him to come to it to confirm what I'd done. I said, You do know they aren't there anymore? They've been living with me a month. The stuff that is missing is their things." Silence.......phone went down. He kept the house...I kid you not...He sold it and used much of the equity to fund his drinking and numerous attempts at "rehab." Fast forward 7 years and he has a small house he bought with the money he didn't drink. He still sees his sons when he not drinking but he's in rehab again so not so much at the moment but I am expected to play happy families when he does visit. He cannot have them at his place, he lives miles away anyway and my autistic son cannot travel alone to visit him so I am stuck with him even tho they are 22 now. So yeah exes.......I'll never marry again that's for sure.
 
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OMG @ladybird777 what an utter sc***ag he is!

A friend said to me years ago, don't ever sell up everything to live with someone, and she was right - but hindsight is a marvellous thing eh?

Big big hugs, and many congratulations for rebuilding your life, and that of your children xxx
 
I think I sadly must pass you the title of 'has worst ex' @ladybird777 what an awful set of circumstances, I have huge respect for how well you've managed.

I was lucky in as much as I don't think he would ever consider having the kids full time, he's too errr... busy. I also saught legal advice which I don't think he expected which helped secure my property, I was told he had no hold over it as no equity was gained in the 10 years he was here. I suspect he was told this as he never tried to claim anything. I also requested that we each keep our own pensions which was a slight gamble but he agreed. I have 26 years worth paid in to a final salary scheme, practically unheard of these days. I was left with debt, some of which he helped accumulate, but the idea of trying to prove it was exhausting so I decided to just go with my advantages of property and pension. I'll be over the worst of it in the next year.

I'll never marry again either, I married at 21, widdowed at 31 (daughter was 2) met 2nd husband at 33 and he basically came in like a night in shining armour, only to take it all away around 5 years later (I've since been advised it is narcissistic behaviour although I wouldn't call him a true narcissist) it was like cold turkey withdrawal from a drug. I then spent the next 5 years trying to fix what he broke, whilst he pretended he was invested, gaslighted me everytime I challenged him and eventually left. I did not want him to but OMG I've become so grateful since I recovered and gained the clarity. He's made little effort for my daughter even tho he likes to say he looks on her as his own, she's pretty disappointed in him and I am too. He pretended to be someone he clearly was not, for quite a long time.

I'm not against another relationship, but ex moved out of my home directly into his new girlfriends home, pretending to be renting her rooms (seriously can't make this stuff up) he had my kids there a matter of days later. Because of this I feel very protective of my children and feel that one of us needs to 100% put them first and do right by them, my daughter has been through so much. If I meet someone else I don't want to live with them, they will be welcome to stay over and become close to us as a unit, but no one will be allowed to take any control over my household, my dynamics with my kids, my finances etc.

Goodness that was a definite spilling of info haha. I don't expect he would ever look here but it isn't like anyone knows who we really are here anyway, and in any case... I've told not a single lie. Which is more than could be said for him.

In other news, I had open top cucumber subs! I thought having cucumber top and bottom was going to be a bit big to wrap my chops around, so I just had around 3 inches of cucumber halved with the seeds scooped out, topped with tuna, sweetcorn and salad cream, which then inspired son who had a sandwich and left over tuna with cucumber crudites. Good lunch for him. He's a bottomless pit today he's had 1 banana, 1 apple, 1 pear, 1 satsuma, a whole can of tuna, a slice of bread a portion of cucumber, a packet of nik nak crisps and a packet of fizzy cola bottles and it's only 1430 :oops: . Beginning to wonder if his Dad forgets to feed him as well as do school work lol
 
I could write a book. That was the tip of the iceberg tbh. Youve been through a lot too. Sad to say I think our experiences are more common that rare nowadays. I love being single now. I lock my own front door and noone has any control over us. It's bliss.

The open top cuc sounds really yummy. One came on the shop today so I will have to try that.
 
I could write a book. That was the tip of the iceberg tbh. Youve been through a lot too. Sad to say I think our experiences are more common that rare nowadays. I love being single now. I lock my own front door and noone has any control over us. It's bliss.

The open top cuc sounds really yummy. One came on the shop today so I will have to try that.
it's very sad isn't it, but yes I love my life now. I might not always be single but It would take someone special to be allowed in really. Definitely try the sandwich it was really good, even my daughter is saying now that she would eat those!

Now

Drumroll please...

I made these :)


and I am happy to report that they are LOVELY.

The recipe only makes 6, so can't go crazy, I've eaten one, kept 2 out and immediately frozen the other 3. Will see how they taste after thawing. It says around 110 calories and 18g carbs per serving, reading the labels and doing my maths I make them around 160 calories and 15g carbs, the truth may be in the middle but either way compare to this... and I think they're worth having in moderation.
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