Day 1 tomorrow

[Tiggemma]

You feeling better Tiggs? Back on plan? Btw which step do u maintain on out of interest? Xx

Yes mostly better now! I have my new runners too they're inov8 as I do a fair bit on trails and parks, they're pretty cool!

Yes back on plan as of today. I generally have a Cambridge product a day, whatever I feel like having on that day and then make the calories up to 1500 with (hopefully) healthy food. If I've been busy or out at a scene then I'll grab a bar otherwise I'll have a shake for breakfast or something as an evening snack. So I guess it's step 5ish. If I do some exercise then I tend to have something for those cals burnt too. So lots of exercise means I can have a treat!

Xxx

 

[Autumn76]

Yes mostly better now! I have my new runners too they're inov8 as I do a fair bit on trails and parks, they're pretty cool! Yes back on plan as of today. I generally have a Cambridge product a day, whatever I feel like having on that day and then make the calories up to 1500 with (hopefully) healthy food. If I've been busy or out at a scene then I'll grab a bar otherwise I'll have a shake for breakfast or something as an evening snack. So I guess it's step 5ish. If I do some exercise then I tend to have something for those cals burnt too. So lots of exercise means I can have a treat! Xxx

Ahh right ok I see. Glad you found your runners then I had my matching leggings to my trainers on yesterday (bright pink tiger pattern) and some woman walked in with matching vest. Jay walked in and said dont u dare haha.
Xx

 

[Tiggemma]

Ahh right ok I see. Glad you found your runners then I had my matching leggings to my trainers on yesterday (bright pink tiger pattern) and some woman walked in with matching vest. Jay walked in and said dont u dare haha. Xx

Love the matching outfit!

For maintenance you need to find what works for you. At the moment this is working for me but I'm sure it'll change over time!

Xxx

 

[LizzRob]

Morning ladies! How are we all this morning?

I'm in the depot, staying out the office this week as yesterday was so boring it made me turn to mischief for amusement! I have Friday off as well so a nice 4 day week for me! WFH tomorrow so i can go swimming tomorrow, friday, saturday and sunday! I joined as a member at the pool the other day and they gave me a watch that links to SwimTag.....this tracks my pace, stroke, lengths, rests, calories burned, everything....it told me i'm doing approx 50 lengths when i do a 28 min swim....not all bad! Need to improve my speed though :/ but this will keep me working harder from here on in!

Still no paperwork for the new job! YAWN! dragging on much! I dont doubt it will arrive but HR in these companies are b0ll0x!

Managed a step 3 day yesterday. broken down like this:

Breakfast: Special K porridge made with water, 100g frozen berries, 2 egg whites (hard boiled....needed some protein post swim)
Lunch: Salad. with a CD oriental soup to follow
Dinner: Quorn pieces with lettuce/cucumber/asparagus/tenderstem broccoli and cous cous
Snack: Pear. CD bar.

Came in at 993 cals and then had 381 cals from swimming. This is definitely a restrained and well behaved day on step 3. 100% good.

The weekend was really good with Freya but i dont get why i cant just have A treat rather than a few! I can be 100%, but then if i give myself an inch, i take a mile. That binge mentality is constantly there, looking over my shoulder, and that is really scaring me as i know its dangerous territory. I actually admitted to Autumn over the weekend that i do have a problem, and i think i can tart it up how ever i want but i have an eating disorder. At the moment, the binging, the laxative abuse....i'm just not sure how to stop.....

The need to feel "empty" is overwhelming

 

[Tiggemma]

Morning ladies! How are we all this morning? I'm in the depot, staying out the office this week as yesterday was so boring it made me turn to mischief for amusement! I have Friday off as well so a nice 4 day week for me! WFH tomorrow so i can go swimming tomorrow, friday, saturday and sunday! I joined as a member at the pool the other day and they gave me a watch that links to SwimTag.....this tracks my pace, stroke, lengths, rests, calories burned, everything....it told me i'm doing approx 50 lengths when i do a 28 min swim....not all bad! Need to improve my speed though :/ but this will keep me working harder from here on in! Still no paperwork for the new job! YAWN! dragging on much! I dont doubt it will arrive but HR in these companies are b0ll0x! Managed a step 3 day yesterday. broken down like this: Breakfast: Special K porridge made with water, 100g frozen berries, 2 egg whites (hard boiled....needed some protein post swim) Lunch: Salad. with a CD oriental soup to follow Dinner: Quorn pieces with lettuce/cucumber/asparagus/tenderstem broccoli and cous cous Snack: Pear. CD bar. Came in at 993 cals and then had 381 cals from swimming. This is definitely a restrained and well behaved day on step 3. 100% good. The weekend was really good with Freya but i dont get why i cant just have A treat rather than a few! I can be 100%, but then if i give myself an inch, i take a mile. That binge mentality is constantly there, looking over my shoulder, and that is really scaring me as i know its dangerous territory. I actually admitted to Autumn over the weekend that i do have a problem, and i think i can tart it up how ever i want but i have an eating disorder. At the moment, the binging, the laxative abuse....i'm just not sure how to stop..... The need to feel "empty" is overwhelming

Morning Lizz. It's good to admit that you have a problem. Admitting it means that now you can see it's there and are actually looking for a way to deal with it. Well done on saying it publicly too. I know that can't be easy. Now we need to help you find a way to deal with the disorder, but only you can put in the hard work.

Loving the swim tag thing. Your pool must be really good. I've never managed to get anything out of my place!

Well done on sticking to plan. I'm sure you'll do great for the rest of the week!

Xxx

 

[LizzRob]

my head knows i need to "do different", but i never tap into that whilst i'm taking the laxatives at multiple points through the day. the logical side of me knows its crazy but i still do it! go figure :/ You ladies know more about my world sometimes than the people around me.....

Its not majorl great but this swimtag thing is ace! Ive asked for a HRM watch for my birthday!!

Thanks hun and i hope so!

How are you getting on? Any news on the house front?

xx

 

[Tiggemma]

my head knows i need to "do different", but i never tap into that whilst i'm taking the laxatives at multiple points through the day. the logical side of me knows its crazy but i still do it! go figure :/ You ladies know more about my world sometimes than the people around me..... Its not majorl great but this swimtag thing is ace! Ive asked for a HRM watch for my birthday!! Thanks hun and i hope so! How are you getting on? Any news on the house front? xx

One of the easiest things to do is to take away temptation. So throw away the laxatives, get rid of any of your trigger foods or as you have Freya if they're her foods the. Put them into a locked box and give Freya the key so you can't pick up the trigger foods. Then you need not to buy any more laxatives. If they're not there that might help with not automatically popping them.

No news on the house or anything else interesting either. Boo

Xxx

 

[LizzRob]

Thankfully no trigger food in the house, but sunday night i made a conscious journey to the garage on the way back from the cinema to buy binge food. When i'm in the zone, i'm in the zone....nothing will stop me having that binge. The bit that tickles me is that i never reall amounts to much. I bought a grab bag of Prawn cocktail walkers, and i ate about 1/3 of the pack, threw the rest away. Its the taste i want, not the mass.

the laxatives, i dont know what to do. I think going cold turkey would kill me at the moment, not to mention the wimbledon i'd end up with lol. food scares me, even when its good, but even more so when its bad. I'll pop a chocolate bar followed by 2 pills, followed by more chocolate, etc....

I must sound like such a nut job xx

 

[slimming4summer]

Hey Lizz I think you are doing fab and I am so in awe of your honesty on here and I hope it helps getting the comments back. Theres nothing I can say to advise really but I just wanted to give you a big pat on the back for talking about it. I know what it feels like to binge on chocolate and used to do it when none was around more of a looking for some comfort thing I am not quite sure, I can slip into being mildly depressed but never quite know if its hormonally caused or just general life stresses and strains but I don't seem to cope with it as well as other people do. Being on the diet so far as helped me curb the need to eat for comfort and the gym sessions I think give me a bit of an endorphin high for a short time anyway you have inspired me with the swimming I might have a dip myself tonight!!
Sam

 

[Tiggemma]

You don't sound like a nut job Lizz. We all have an unhealthy relationship with food or we wouldn't be here! Hopefully we can support you through this and see you out the other side!

Hope you enjoyed your swim Sam!

Xxx

 

[TINKERBELLA]

Hello all,

Lizz, I'm not sure what to say - I'm not qualified to advise you, but you do need some help regarding the laxatives and purging because unfortunately like you said they are part of the parcel of an eating disorder - until u resolve ur issues food is always going to be a long term battle and you will yoyo. Please get the help and support that you need before u damage urself and most importantly before Freya develops the same attitudes towards food as u do. I wish u all the best, stay positive this is something that u can gain control of, but I may be wrong in saying this but I don't think CD is the best way forward for you but that's only my personal opinion.

I met my new cdc today and she is lovely, best decision I made to change // she did weigh me but I'm sticking to my wed morning weigh ins otherwise it messes with my head plus her scales were nicer than mine today so I want my losses to be a true reflection each week n only way I can do that is to weigh at same time same day same scales.

My cdc gave me a ribbon today which was the length of my starting waist measurement / n I honestly can't believe the difference -- had a little cry because it was such a reality check / and now me n my daughter fit inside the ribbon together // how amazing is that???

Will update tomorrow on my weigh in .. Hope everyone else is ok...

Goodnight all xx

 

[Tiggemma]

Hello all, Lizz, I'm not sure what to say - I'm not qualified to advise you, but you do need some help regarding the laxatives and purging because unfortunately like you said they are part of the parcel of an eating disorder - until u resolve ur issues food is always going to be a long term battle and you will yoyo. Please get the help and support that you need before u damage urself and most importantly before Freya develops the same attitudes towards food as u do. I wish u all the best, stay positive this is something that u can gain control of, but I may be wrong in saying this but I don't think CD is the best way forward for you but that's only my personal opinion. I met my new cdc today and she is lovely, best decision I made to change // she did weigh me but I'm sticking to my wed morning weigh ins otherwise it messes with my head plus her scales were nicer than mine today so I want my losses to be a true reflection each week n only way I can do that is to weigh at same time same day same scales. My cdc gave me a ribbon today which was the length of my starting waist measurement / n I honestly can't believe the difference -- had a little cry because it was such a reality check / and now me n my daughter fit inside the ribbon together // how amazing is that??? Will update tomorrow on my weigh in .. Hope everyone else is ok... Goodnight all xx

Tinks is right Lizz. If your cdc knew what we do they wouldn't let to do Cambridge. (Well shouldn't) I'm not suggesting to stop because I don't think that's a good idea either for you. But sure you know if you can find no logical benefit in using the laxatives so frequently that their use is a form of addiction and you'll need more than us to help you. We will all be here to support and help get you through but this needs a more professional hand.

You know my mam had the same issues you do and that affected me massively as a kid and my relationship with food and my personal image forever. Freya is most important in this. So we are going to look out for her too!

Tinks, sounds like the new cdc is a good one. The ribbon thing is great. I have my old belt and put it on once in a while to see how far I've come. Really glad you're seeing the difference between now and then!

Hope you all have good days.

Xxx

 

[slimming4summer]

morning everyone

tinks i think the ribbon idea is great and such a simple way of showing you how far you have come

i swam last night with daughter and managed 400m but i need to build up to doing that faster and without stoppage (well if i want to do the sprint triathlon next year!) gives me a focus for training though so thats good

my legs were burning last night in bed so can tell it was a decent and different workout and nice to do something different and made me realise how fit the kids are as they can do around 2000 m on a training night

still in the zone and doing step 2 and enjoying it and also saw someone who I hadnt seen for a few months and she was amazed at the difference in me so that was very motivating

 

[slimming4summer]

can only type and read so much on the phone!

Lizz i hope you have a good day - 1 step at a time - can your doctor organise any counselling sessions? (if you want to go and talk to them)

i hope everyone has a great day

sam

 

[LizzRob]

Morning Tink, i'm a bit of a mess arent i lol Thankfully, i promised Freya not to purge again and i will be true to my word on that one. All food stays down once its been consumed no matter how rotten i feel. Freya doesnt see any of this now, to her, i'm a normal happy smiley mom.....no diets get mentioned.

Well done for changing your CDC! Best thing i ever did! and what a super thing to do to keep you on track! You must be really proud of yourself hun! xx

 

[LizzRob]

can only type and read so much on the phone!

Lizz i hope you have a good day - 1 step at a time - can your doctor organise any counselling sessions? (if you want to go and talk to them)

i hope everyone has a great day

sam

Morning Sam! I have a therapist already for scar issues,and she knows i have "issues". I'm seeing her on tuesday so i shall speak to her about how bad its got. She's aware of the situation already though.

Sorry all, i know i'm clogging up the board with my guff! Sorry to bring a downer here xx

 

[slimming4summer]

Morning Sam! I have a therapist already for scar issues,and she knows i have "issues". I'm seeing her on tuesday so i shall speak to her about how bad its got. She's aware of the situation already though. Sorry all, i know i'm clogging up the board with my guff! Sorry to bring a downer here xx

hey thats what we are here for so dont feel bad I think its really positive that you are dealing with it and talking about it
hugs so dont ever feel bad

sam

 

[Autumn76]

Happy Wednesday everybody my new phone has arrived now to synch this one etc which will take hours lol.
I have spoken to Lizz in private about the issues so I won't repeat anything here but didn't want to look like I was ignoring it all.
So my news is I'm ok get weighed later in week might be tomorrow actually lol. Was 13-1 this morning which is lowest I've ever been so need to keep this going aghhhhh. 15lb to lose in 45 days needs to go for Dubai.
Did the gym last night and again tonight then nothing until weekend. Going to have a mousse and bar tonight whilst watching bake off xx

 

[TINKERBELLA]

Morning all,

Quick update as I'm off swimming with the little one ....

I lost 3lbs again this week making me 16st 8lbs n the 15s are now in sight xx

 

[LizzRob]

Well done Autumn and Tink on the scales! Super news for both of you xx