AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have lost a quarter of a f*cking pound. I could bloody scream - I have had a big old cry and i'm just really, really upset.
that makes 1 pound exactly in the last fortnight of perfect SS. i'm not bloated, i'm not bunged up, i'm not ill, i'm not pre menstrual. i am absolutely bloody deperastely upset. and i *know* that weightloss isn't linear and it isn't fair - i invented that phrase. but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccck!
so angry. and upset.
i have lost bits of inches in the last two weeks - but i don't actually give any kind of sh1t about what size i am. I never have. i NEED to lose actual weight. I can't go to my referral and say, "but hey - look at my waist measurement"... There is no longer a single chance that i can apply for my referral before i go on holiday (i'd have to lose nine and a half pounds to be back on track with average losses) - and who knows how long it will take me after the holiday - it could take another couple of months. so upset. My referral seemed withn grasp and now it could be summer.
plus, i've been up working since five am and i left school at 7.30 tonight - and i didn't get a single break all day because i've sposed to have had appointments with the parents of all my tutor group all day, and 8 out of 17 of them were late enough to have been running late, using up all my breaks.
on top of which i've been up at five every school day since last thurday cos i'm too knackered to do two hours' work every evening when i get home. so now i'm sick with anxiety because i haven't taken any work home to do tonight cos it's my bloody birthday tomorrow - not that it feels like it at all...