Last week, after advising Lara to start planning her food in a diary, I bought myself a lovely big red leather organiser (it takes A5 refills, so is a bit bigger than that)
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and a dodo planner diary insert for it.
so with the help of my CWP handbook, and my 'meals in minutes' book, I have planned out my menus and my shopping list for 810 week. Unlike last time, I'm going much more gourmet this time round (though there are still three mushroom omlettes). I'm having a spinach tortilla (that's another omlette, isn't it?), a prawn stirfry with a tiny quantity of rice noodles (the book says i can have them!), asparagus nicoise (essentially asparagus and egg), chicken done with chinese five spice... ohhhh all kinds of weirdy, not-quite-meals.
The reason why i kept it unadventurous last time, was that i didn't want to open the floodgates and get a taste for food when i'd so many more months of SS ahead of me. But now, all I have ahead of me is more and more food. And if i'm going to have a functional, respectful, loving relationship with food in future, we need to start off on the right (non-abusive) footing. But man, it's scary. It's been such a relief to be eating disorder free for the last six months... i'm truly scared of all that coming back. Of losing control.
So - the planner. about a week in advance i intend to write down my menus for the day, and as i'm doing so, make a shopping list for delivery on the opposite page. I've been fine in sainsburys the last few months because i just bypassed all the food. But now it could get hairy, so - let the ocado man cometh.
eek!