Arrrgggg I don't know what my problem issss.... ok so I messed up again.... I was out yesterday like all day and since I did not expect to be out so long I didn't take my shake with me. I was starving and I ate. Twice. But I started right back on it today. I have to conquer this damn addiction for food. Cause that's what it is an addiction, a compulsion. :break_diet:
I have been somewhat emotional the last couple of days. Probably cause my Mother was in the hospital last week and it really hit me how sick she really is. She had been getting these weird bloodclots that hurt really bad and after they would be bruised, I don't know how to explain it exactly, but her doctor said it was a very bad sign that an attack could be coming on. My mother has had problems with her heart for a long time now, along with rheumatoid arthitis, high cholesterol and high blood pressure. But there is something different about it this time. I can feel it in the way she talks, like she is preparing us for the worst. Talking about funeral arrangements, what she wants. I don't know its just all really freaking me out.
So it has been very difficult for me to stick to the diet since I am an emotional eater. But this is not an excuse. I have to do this for me, for my own sanity. So here's hoping I can do this.