Diary of laurenmay... prepare for some whinging!!

[laurenmay]

So I think I've started two diaries already, but I can't be bothered to scroll down all the posts to find them, plus the titles of them are pointless now cause I'm sure one is called day 2 or something! Anyway..

I started CD last Thursday after meeting my CDC for the first time and having the shock of my life when it turned out my starting weight was 12st 5lbs... I opted for the SS+ plan, I felt more at ease knowing the option of milk or a 200kcal meal was there if I wanted or needed it!

I managed to religiously follow the diet down to the letter for the first two days, and was even 9lbs lighter than my starting weight on the morning of day 3 (most of which was more than likely water weight, but still a huge number to disappear off those scales!).. But then boredom & habit got the better of me yesterday and I had a complete day off full of naughties and carbs galore!! resulting in me weighing in at 12st this morning when I had a sneaky weigh to see what the damage was..

So I'm back on day 1 today, and so far have drunk 2.2litres of water and had two of my shakes.. About to make a black coffee before having my third shake around 6pm & saving my last just before bed at 9pm.... To say I'm struggling would be a major understatement. Stupidly, I'm not even hungry, in fact I'm fine & managing okay, but out of habit & greed I just want food, and all the bad foods that got me this size in the first place! I've had a constant battle with myself today, one minute deciding I give up and plan to eat my body weight in food - then the next feeling positive again & determined to stick to CD...

I'm not caving in, not again.. I want to lose weight, I chose to be on CD and wasn't forced into it or made to do it - it's a personal choice & a successful diet if followed properly and I have all the necessary tools to lose all this weight & be HAPPY again! Especially with the support of all you lovely people on here.. I think I'll always have an issue with food, and I'll probably always drive myself crazy thinking about food too.. But I'd rather torture myself with those thoughts than torture myself with being obsessed over my weight and size!!

So here's to positive thoughts & shedding pounds!! x

 

[lil_legs]

Yay thats the spirit, i have every faith in you!!

 

[laurenmay]

I even rung my OH when he was leaving work and gave him a list of all the naughty food I wanted from tesco! But then rung him back 2 minutes later & told him to ignore what I said and that I want to stick to CD... That's a huge step for me!! Lol

 

[lil_legs]

Good, you'll be pleased in the morning x

 

[laurenmay]

I hope so god I'm living on this forum now, I feel a bit lost if I don't refresh the page every few minutes! Lol x

 

[kristin]

I'm exactly the same haha! X

 

[lil_legs]

haha me too, but ill be back in work tomorrow and cant access it only on my phone on my breaks - boo

 

[laurenmay]

I'm sitting here sipping my shake & refreshing the page every two minutes and scrolling up and down the posts! Lol, genuinely don't think I could have done CD without this forum though!

 

[Felix]

Hello just here to follow you can do it! You said yourself that you didn't really enjoy your day off eating the food you wanted, so remember this when you want to cave. I hope you can get back in to it

 

[laurenmay]

My bloody OH has been cooking himself food and it smells so nice I could cry! feeling super hungry and deprived tonight.. Would kill for some bread!

 

[lil_legs]

How you getting on? Nearly the end of the day xxx

 

[laurenmay]

How you getting on? Nearly the end of the day xxx

I've stuck to it and now I've gotten through day 1 again I know there's definitely no slip ups or turning back.. Had my last shake at 8pm and finished my bottle of water & now I'm laying in bed & thinking of getting an early night..

I'm not touching anything except CWP until I hit goal, only then I'll allow myself a treat and that's that! xx

 

[lil_legs]

Whhoooop, proud of you x

 

[laurenmay]

So it's day 2 now, and I know I shouldn't weigh every day but seeing little losses on the scale day by day is helping me stay on track & giving me incentive to keep going! So this morning I'm 11st 12lbs, which is under the 12st mark and I refuse to see 12st on those scales again!!

Feeling quite positive this morning, just hoping the positivity mood stays with me all day though! Sipping my water and keeping my first shake until 9am taking each day as it comes as I've been told & focusing on today & not tomorrow. Live for the moment as they say x

 

[Lisa-Marie90]

aw well done you i had a sneak weigh yday and ive lost 5lbs so youv lost more than me even with your naughty day off so you should be very pleased ! only 2 days and then its weigh in day wahoo!! xx

 

[laurenmay]

aw well done you i had a sneak weigh yday and ive lost 5lbs so youv lost more than me even with your naughty day off so you should be very pleased ! only 2 days and then its weigh in day wahoo!! xx

Most of my weight loss is more than likely water retention cause I do bloat like crazy & hold loads of water! But it's nice to see the scales dropping nonetheless well done you on 5lbs gone!! I'm trying my best to focus on one day at a time otherwise I think this diet will get the better of me and I'll give up.. So all that's in my head for now is Tuesday how are you feeling? xx

- sent from my iPhone. "No one said it would be easy, they just said it'd be worth it.."

 

[laurenmay]

It's lunch break in work, and I'm not so much hungry but I feel a bit sleepy now.. Think it's more the tediousness of my job though rather than the diet! Lol. Looking forward to a cosy chilled out evening, but will probably have to go to bed early again just to avoid torturing myself with thoughts about food!

How is everyone else doing? Would be nice to hear off someone cause I feel lonely as hell in work sipping water while the guys I work with are stuffing bread, crisps and chocolate!!

- sent from my iPhone. "No one said it would be easy, they just said it'd be worth it.."

 

[Lisa-Marie90]

Most of my weight loss is more than likely water retention cause I do bloat like crazy & hold loads of water! But it's nice to see the scales dropping nonetheless well done you on 5lbs gone!! I'm trying my best to focus on one day at a time otherwise I think this diet will get the better of me and I'll give up.. So all that's in my head for now is Tuesday how are you feeling? xx

- sent from my iPhone. "No one said it would be easy, they just said it'd be worth it.."

yeh best thing to do is take it one day at a time, ive been counting down the days till thursday lol cant wait for weigh in , im feeling good, im only just having my second shake of the day now so ive been starving all day lol! hows today been for you? xx

 

[laurenmay]

yeh best thing to do is take it one day at a time, ive been counting down the days till thursday lol cant wait for weigh in , im feeling good, im only just having my second shake of the day now so ive been starving all day lol! hows today been for you? xx

I'm excited for my first weigh in too but a bit apprehensive cause I'm worrying my loss won't be great cause of my blow out on Sunday I've been 100% yesterday & today, even though I'm still craving junk food really bad! I'm not hungry but feeling pretty tired, having a lay down now just to chill out.. How has your day been? xx

- sent from my iPhone. "No one said it would be easy, they just said it'd be worth it.."

 

[Lisa-Marie90]

I'm excited for my first weigh in too but a bit apprehensive cause I'm worrying my loss won't be great cause of my blow out on Sunday I've been 100% yesterday & today, even though I'm still craving junk food really bad! I'm not hungry but feeling pretty tired, having a lay down now just to chill out.. How has your day been? xx

- sent from my iPhone. "No one said it would be easy, they just said it'd be worth it.."

it will be good, if youd of had the blow out today or tomorrow then it would be bad but i bet its fine i feel drained today and my head hurts i really want food today . im just hoping for a good loss on thursday cos once you know your hard work is paying off it makes ya wanna really stick at it were doing good nearly one week woo xx