Elemental's Metamorphisis

[frannie]

Haha, yes I know that craving well. Apparently it will only last for a maximum of 10 minutes but oh so much damage can be done in a short space of time... So it's good that hubby was being strong

Sounds like you are back on the horse and I have to say, you are to be commended for giving up smoking. I reckon if you can do that, this diet will be a breeze by comparison. Not only that, but maintenance will be second nature to you!

Good luck in the week ahead.

 

[norwegian girl]

good luck over the next week, I am sure you will get back into the right frame of mind, I did have to giggle at your posts, I know they were not meant to be funny but the way you write is! Just put it all behind you and get back on track, sounds to me like you have a perfect husband who is yor biggest support xx

 

[Elemental]

Haha, yes I know that craving well. Apparently it will only last for a maximum of 10 minutes but oh so much damage can be done in a short space of time... So it's good that hubby was being strong

Sounds like you are back on the horse and I have to say, you are to be commended for giving up smoking. I reckon if you can do that, this diet will be a breeze by comparison. Not only that, but maintenance will be second nature to you!

Good luck in the week ahead.

Ten mins? Try 10 days! Once i get a craving i can literally sulk for england lol.

Thanks so much for your support frannie xx

 

[Elemental]

good luck over the next week, I am sure you will get back into the right frame of mind, I did have to giggle at your posts, I know they were not meant to be funny but the way you write is! Just put it all behind you and get back on track, sounds to me like you have a perfect husband who is yor biggest support xx

Yeah he is only supportive because he knows he's gonna benefit from more "ahem" when i lose some weight lol

That's ok that you have a giggle I am glad you are enjoying my diary. And I am glad it's not all coming across as doom and gloom!! lol xxx

 

[Elemental]

Right,

Been a bit good today! Feel like such a rebel putting my cals etc into MFP cos i can wangle little things that i would normally deny myself - yes I am a manipulator! It's what I do....bit of mayo on my tuna and i'm stil under my cals and carb allowance

Totally excited about the website i discovered today too as trying to be naughty low carb this weekend was such a headache, it's amazing that i didn't end up eating that pizza by hook or by crook!

Low Carb Food, Recipes and Resources - CarbGenie

Awesome!!!

 

[Elemental]

Aaaargh!!! I have been so bloody tested tonight!!! Working a double shift which is rubbish enough but at my part time evening job and they have put me on with a complete new person who is clueless and useless!!!! I wouldn’t normally complain but she is so full of herself that she can do all the emergencies but she is ****ing it all up! Then I get calls back saying I did something wrong and it wasn’t even me grrrrrrrrrrrr

Anyway- the worst night ever, and to make matters worse there is an open box of roses infront of me, well to stop myself getting arrested for ABH I thought I better calm myself down and at three! 180 CALORIES!!! 24G OF CARBS!!! AAAAARGH!!!


But I have worked it into my 650 cals and 50g of carbs for the day but jiggling some things around so that’s something I suppose. I could have easily had a 100% day today if all this ***** hadn’t happened.

No tolerance for idiots since being on this diet – especially ones who don’t know that they are idiots !!!! lol

 

[MiniMoosh]

Oh gosh, poor you. Well done for only having 3! My god I would have dived in. I used to work in a hotel nursery, the evening club never had enough staff so I'd get sent 18 year old kitchen staff who didn't speak English and had never looked after a child before. I know how hard it is! My fave was a young girl, actually my boss's granddaughter, went to the loo mid shift and never returned! She fell asleep on the loo leaving me alone with about 20 kids.

Hope today proves better for you!

 

[Elemental]

Thanks Moosh! xx

Omg @ the girl falling asleep on the toilet!!! Kudos to you for coping anyway. I didn't cope so well, ended up complaining to uppermanagement eeek, can see that backfiring and making me unpopular, oh well who cares I will be skinny soon so i need to practice being a *****!!! hahaha

Today I went to walk home from work at lunch, like i have done EVERY day last week and this week thus far and 4 mins down the road and the heavens opened I am talking sleety nasty rain that comes from all directions. It took me a minute to think and i just turned back to work. Only thing is - the thing that's been motivating me to go home is this silly fear of coming out of the vlcd closet to my work mates. So i ended up eating 1/3 of a lemon bar that i really didn't enjoy and that's all i've had since my shake at 8.30 so i came straight home and had scrambled egg, i am going to count it all up cals and carbs tho. Last night i managed to keep under my limit even with the chocolates so altho i know its not healthy, at least i'm not writing everything off!!

And i appeared to still be in ketosis today - that was the ironic thing i forgot to write about last night, i came home after the 3 sweets and peed on a stick, bloody pink!!!! If i had known i was in ketosis i would never of ate them. Oh well, i may have got away with it this time.

Sat with a bovril now too, yum, i really am a master of cheating my way through a diet oh well - so long as the weight comes off i don't care!!! Any diet is better than my previous eating habits so bring it the feck on!!!

 

[Elemental]

omg i have insomnia and the fidgets so bad been lying in bed for two hours now tossing and turnin, work is gonna suck tomorrow having a vodka and coke zero to help send me off. I love the new found energy ketosis has suddenly given me but please k fairy, not at 10pm on a school night :cry::cry::cry:

 

[MiniMoosh]

Oh dear, I'm a major insomniac, always have been. Sucks! I sometimes get less than an hour never turned to vodka though, that actually makes me hyper!

 

[Kelstar]

I know how u feel I was so full of energy couldn't sleep first few weeks. Seems to have passed for me though and I find it as difficult as I ever did to get up in the mornings - not necessarily a good thing as I am constantly late! Hope u get some sleep.

 

[Elemental]

Feeling reflective today. Not entirely good.

Let us begin from the beginning of today.

Yet another day waking up feeling like I am floating on a cloud of comfy gorgeousness. So sleepy, dreamy, distant that the thought of working flexi hours just isn't enough pressure to drag my tired ketatonic ass out of my pit. But it's weigh day! I know its not going to be the result i expected but i am still so curious to find out this weeks magic number. I wake up to pee, 6am. Then 7am. Then 7.45am. I use the fact that my son has probably forgotten to brush his teeth as an excuse to call him from my pit and send him to his duty. After all, no point me getting up until he's finished with the bathroom....... just a little while longer........

The cat is curled up in fluffy bliss, reaching his white socked paws out to me for attention. He may as well say "Don't go to work today, lets just lay here and snuggle up all day long" Dammit if he could just come up with the perfect excuse to not go to work that cat would have me!!

The fear enters me just before 8am (I intend to start work at 9am). I get up and pee one more time then hop on to the scales. Four pounds off!! How the hell did i manage that?? Last friday I was weak, my husband was weak! We ordered an expensive take away, that we really couldnt afford in £s or Lbs. But we had it, I LOVED IT and I kinda regret it purely for the fact that I've been craving it ever since.

So armed with my successful weigh in and my phone whilst sat at work this morning....it's friday morning....I am so freaking tired. Ketosis has kicked in, yeh my muscles are figdetty and i wanna get up and do stuff but honestly work is the last thing on my mind right now!! So I incessantly text my husband. About the weight I lost. About the indian we had last friday after weigh in...... about the atkins pizza i want to make tomorrow night. My imagination is running away with me about how i can cheat and mess with my diet without gaining anything. Stupidly the only plan in my genius head is "Carbs tonight then protein over the weekend, i'll be back in ketosis by tuesday"

Do i really want that kind of weight loss? 4lbs a week? I could probably lose that just working out like crazy but i guess i can't be bothered.

Looking back on today and why binging has crept into my brain despite being very deep in ketosis. I had a revelation whilst walking to work this morning. What if i lose weight and become ugly? What if i suddenly look old? What if i lose all this weight and I'm still really unhappy? What if...... it's almost like the cliche that actually i am eating because being fat is a safer place for me to be? That's so stupid, makes no ****ing sense but .......what would i do?

Anyway I settled on a compromise for my obsession with indian tonight. I concluded that an iceland indian with naan and a few bhajis would be less damaging financially and dieteticly *(new word??)* It wasnt nearly as nice as last weekend which is a great thing.

I've not eaten pizza for several weeks now so i am hoping the craving for that which is admittedly dimished right now will soon dissapear completely.....

I guess I will have to deal with the wrath that coming out of ketosis clumsily and wrecklessly will cause. And the stupid pathetic weight loss that it will cause next friday.

Truth is i don't think it matters how much weight i lose, i am and always will be slightly outcast. Friendly enough to be people's "aquaintance" but i'll never really fully come in to anyone's world. I always have and always will be looking in from the outskirts of every social circle. My weight has nothing to do with that.....being skinny won't help that. But eating has always hidden that fact. No wonder I love food

Anyway if you have read this far then wow your friday night must suck as much as mine!!! But it's just helped me type out some of my feelings so hopefully it'll make some sense if i read it back tomorrow.

out of ketosis, glad of it? Nah ..... Do much about it? Nah..... xxx

 

[frannie]

Elemental, 4lbs is a fantastic weight loss. If I could get that working out I would but would probably need to run a marathon!

Don't know if you succumbed to the carb cravings, but if you did, hope you are back on the protein today. And as has probably been said before, do not always rely on the ketostix to tell you if you are in or out of ketosis. I have found them sometimes to remain a static beige colour, but my breath and scales tell me different.

 

[Elemental]

Last night I broke but it was planned and recoverable. Tonight was just a complete write off. On the promise to myself though so that no more weekend treats for four weeks.

I am feeling all sorts of stuff right now so will update later when hubby has crashed out ........... really need to take the reigns tho!!! :cry:

 

[Elemental]

So I have altered the diet I am on my statistics to properly represent the “diets” I am doing. Do you like that one of them is ‘Seefood’? lol

Anyway last night I was just so emotional, drank 50cl of vodka for the second night in a row and what’s worse ate a medium pepperoni from pizza hut. Only savour being that I like thin crust which saved me about 50g of carbs! It was still a ridiculous amount though

Anyway, I am largely blaming time of the month for this weekend but I guess every weekend I’ve had a different excuse. I was so damn emotional this weekend though it wasnt simply me kidding myself…

So anyway hubby and I have resolved that no more drinks or weekend splurges for 4 weeks. This really is no time at all compared to what some of you guys on here are doing. Its pathetic really that I can barely go a week without getting pissed or eating crap!! So four weeks really is going to be quite a challenge for me. I am going to allow myself atkins Saturdays tho as it seems to not affect my loss hugely if when I do eat outside of the plan I keep my carbs under 50g. And to be honest that’s probably going to help my metabolism, we will see. This is just an experiment at this point so if my losses are affected then I will tighten things up even further. Next Saturday I am going to make an atkins pizza using the oopsie roll base! Fingers crossed that works out yummy because that might make my weekends more bearable and successful!

 

[norwegian girl]

I really like reading your posts, the ups and downs and the way your write. The one about being a social outcast made me feel so sad, but in the same post you had some excellent reasoning about your relationship with food. I really hope you get back on track this week and keep on losing. My problem was I was on seefood for far too long..........now I cant see the end to this weight loss journey, but have to do it for myself, my HEALTH and for the 500 pounds that people have sponsored me, so there is absolutely NO turning back and being the stubborn woman I am I will do it just to prove those who sponsored me a pound per pound WRONG........they only did that cos they did not think I would do it.

Remember where there is a will there is a way, good luck xx

 

[Elemental]

I really wish knowing why I eat got me any closer to not needing to

Thanks so much for your support xx

Have had a good day today, it helps that i've worked 9am to 10pm but there were doughnuts and muffins and all sorts today and i didn't cave. Despite still not being in ketosis from the weekend - this is my danger time because i know one little blip wont kick me out of K.

It did dawn on me that all this messing about has left me so behind on my goal. I seem to have lost sight of it a little bit but consoled myself with the fact that so long as the scales are going down, its a huge improvement from my previously way of living/eating. I've had really lavish weekends every week since i've start this diet and am still a stone lighter, so i mustnt really grumble.

Head is pounding today tho!!! Ugh!

 

[frannie]

Hi Elemental, just catching up with diaries. Hope you are hanging in there - had a bit of a carb laden week myself! So dusted myself down and now starting afresh.

Like you, food and I have a fickle relationship!

Here's to a better week next week...

 

[Elemental]

Hi Frannie, thanks for dropping by!

I had just come on to update as I am aware I havnt done for a while.

This is mostly because I've morphed my diet into being a low carb low cal diet using S n S products. To be perfectly honest since I've done this I havent felt a struggle. I've had mini protein binges on cheese or salami or whatever but the scales keepin tipping downwards so I'm pretty happy.

I say that but this is the first weekend since starting this diet that I havent blown it! No drink this weekend, felt a little depressed about being mothers day and not having a fat roast, box of chocolates or bottle of wine........but i'm working today anyway so most of that wouldn't apply.

So I guess that's it for now, nothing really to say whilst I am not struggling. I feel a bit false having my diary in VLCD but i am still using the products And I love you lot!! Also work are clamping down on our internet (ab)use so less time to tap

 

[frannie]

Hi Frannie, thanks for dropping by!

I had just come on to update as I am aware I havnt done for a while.

This is mostly because I've morphed my diet into being a low carb low cal diet using S n S products. To be perfectly honest since I've done this I havent felt a struggle. I've had mini protein binges on cheese or salami or whatever but the scales keepin tipping downwards so I'm pretty happy.

I say that but this is the first weekend since starting this diet that I havent blown it! No drink this weekend, felt a little depressed about being mothers day and not having a fat roast, box of chocolates or bottle of wine........but i'm working today anyway so most of that wouldn't apply.

So I guess that's it for now, nothing really to say whilst I am not struggling. I feel a bit false having my diary in VLCD but i am still using the products And I love you lot!! Also work are clamping down on our internet (ab)use so less time to tap

No worries about whether or not you should be on here Elemental. The way I am (not) sticking to diet, I should be elsewhere too! Nevertheless, we are still here and the intentions are good.....

Glad to hear that even though you are supplementing the packs with other foods, you are still losing weight. I have put aside the chocolate that was presented to me today and will use it as a treat when I get to a healthy BMI - if it's shelf life has not expired before then, lol.