Erm's Photo Diary

[ermintrude]

Thanks for all the support lovelies, sorry I dont really like talking about it so I dont really do PMs and stuff (part of the fackin problem innit ) but I am really grateful for you all being there for me :bighug: :bighug:

 

[Newday]

Thanks for that recipe Erm, particularly as you're feeling pooh at the moment. Keep cooking, its theraputic, isn't it? Well, when it goes right.

 

[Seacrest]

Erm, support and caring thoughts to you x

Food looks amazing. I'm now starving!

 

[icklerockchick]

Sorry to hear you are having a bit of a rubbish time erm, food looks amazing as usual! X

 

[Shirleen]

Hi Erm! Everything is looking gooood!
What's Lime beetroot???

Oh and many moons ago I was having counselling sort of, but as I'd been brought up NOT to talk about stuff I found it ridiculous! Best advice I got then was to write it all down, which I do/did not do much now! Best friend has instructions that If I die before her she's to burn the notebooks, without reading!
I was supposed to burn it as I wrote but find it more therapeutic to read it and see how far I have come!

 

[Happy Holidays]

Oh and many moons ago I was having counselling sort of, but as I'd been brought up NOT to talk about stuff I found it ridiculous! Best advice I got then was to write it all down, which I do/did not do much now! Best friend has instructions that If I die before her she's to burn the notebooks, without reading!
I was supposed to burn it as I wrote but find it more therapeutic to read it and see how far I have come!

What a simple but brilliant idea.

 

[ermintrude]

Hi Erm! Everything is looking gooood!
What's Lime beetroot???

Oh and many moons ago I was having counselling sort of, but as I'd been brought up NOT to talk about stuff I found it ridiculous! Best advice I got then was to write it all down, which I do/did not do much now! Best friend has instructions that If I die before her she's to burn the notebooks, without reading!
I was supposed to burn it as I wrote but find it more therapeutic to read it and see how far I have come!

Cheers Shirleen, thats actually what Im doing at the minute, just writing down everything thats going through my head! Just wish Id done this more before the assessment thing then I could have given it to her to show what was going on in my brain. I just dont talk about stuff and when someone asks me a question about stuff like in the assessment I just dont have the "access" to whatever it is, and if I ever do start talking I just end up going off on a tangent about stuff thats not really relevant to the problem. I just talk to my brain on my own in private :sigh:

But youre right I dont think counselling and stuff would be any good for me cos like I say I dont have that ability to communicate with *people*, only paper :sigh: So I dont really know what to do :cry: Ach fack Im sending myself off now, right food time, back in a mo...

 

[Shirleen]

Cheers Shirleen, thats actually what Im doing at the minute, just writing down everything thats going through my head! Just wish Id done this more before the assessment thing then I could have given it to her to show what was going on in my brain. I just dont talk about stuff and when someone asks me a question about stuff like in the assessment I just dont have the "access" to whatever it is, and if I ever do start talking I just end up going off on a tangent about stuff thats not really relevant to the problem. I just talk to my brain on my own in private :sigh:

But youre right I dont think counselling and stuff would be any good for me cos like I say I dont have that ability to communicate with *people*, only paper :sigh: So I dont really know what to do :cry: Ach fack Im sending myself off now, right food time, back in a mo...

You WILL be able to talk about it one day! I can with alot of it now, writing it down puts it in order, so you can recall it later in coherent fashion!
Sometimes I come out and say stuff that's random but I make a joke and move on!
Just don't let the Black Dog* chase you away from freedom!

*reference Winston Churchill who referred to his depression as a Black Dog.

 

[ermintrude]

Monday 14th May Green

Breakfast: Coffee & fruit 1 HEXA
Lunch: Leftover pumpkin & cashew curry with salad 1 HEXA for cashews, 2 syns for dressing
Tea: Fridge raid stew with stuffing balls 1 HEXB for chicken, 4 syns for Paxo
Snacks: Bowl of roasted kale, box of beetroot, wee chunk of Montezuma's ??6 syns, Muller light

Fridge Raid Stew again cos its Tesco day:

 

[ermintrude]

Cheers chicken. Ive never been a talker, just live in my own little world. Shirleen you strike me as one of the biggest talkers ever You remind me of my mum (in a good way) :bighug:

Lime beetroot is from Waitrose btw, its a bit rubbish, wont get it again. Only got it cos the sweetfire one wasnt there. Went in for 4 pints of milk, came out having spent 30 facking squid. Including 3 mini squeeze bottles to put ketchup in when ya go on a picnic/holiday plus a set of 4 stalks you stick in the grass to put your wine glass in. As you do. Theres a reason I do me shopping online these days

 

[Shirleen]

Cheers chicken. Ive never been a talker, just live in my own little world. Shirleen you strike me as one of the biggest talkers ever You remind me of my mum (in a good way) :bighug:

Lime beetroot is from Waitrose btw, its a bit rubbish, wont get it again. Only got it cos the sweetfire one wasnt there. Went in for 4 pints of milk, came out having spent 30 facking squid. Including 3 mini squeeze bottles to put ketchup in when ya go on a picnic/holiday plus a set of 4 stalks you stick in the grass to put your wine glass in. As you do. Theres a reason I do me shopping online these days

Let you into a secret...I could talk for England however My talking is to hide my terror! I get told I'm so confident, but small talk has me in knots! I'd rather give a presentation!!!
You'll get better hunny, I am never wrong,

 

[icklerockchick]

Haha your fridge raid stew and bunch of random stuff from food shopping made me smile erm! :-D supermarkets shouldnt be allowed clothes and DVDs and junk I go in for a loaf of bread and come out with all kinds of crap!!

I think a lot of us are the same I could talk all day about nonsense but ask me to discuss my feelings and I totally clam up. I also find writing things down much easier and always kept diaries as a kid as it was much easier than confronting fears face to face. Guess I've never really grown out of it. Hopefully you get whatever help you need xx

 

[Vegan*4*Life]

Hullo! I made the kale, lentil and potato soup the other day. You were right about the stock being enough for a soup on it own! WOAH! I ended up using all of it as I knew after I tasted it that I wouldn't use it for anything else. I liked it but the star anise was rather overpowering for me. Next time I am using half the suggested amounts of spices. My hubbie adored it and it got lots of hmmmmm's while eating Thanks for this. I ADORE stuffing balls in stew and the rosti looks awesome.
I hope you are feeling a bit brighter today. It's sh!t when you feel awful and you have nowhere to turn. Even worse when you can't put your finger on why you feel that way. I do exactly what you do and talk to myself about it. (((BIG HUGS)))

 

[fatgottago]

How do you make vegetarian stuffing balls? x

 

[ermintrude]

I just made them out of Paxo as per the instructions on the packet Im not a veggie though and there was chicken in the stew :8855:

 

[JackieN]

Just popping in with a few of these lovely :bighug: :bighug: I too write stuff down, best way I've been known to write stuff down and shred of burn it too

Take care sweetie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[TtMummy]

It's all hard. Talking, writing... All hideous and fairly impossible. Meh. Up, down, up down.

And supermarkets!!!! My local Tesco has an upstairs. I avoid upstairs. You go in for for carrots, yogurts and some shampoo and come out with a tent, a set of collapsible biscuit tins and a 42" flat screen tv with a HD DVD player included.

Well, so I've heard. Me, I stay downstairs and that's bad enough ;-)

 

[ermintrude]

Tuesday 15th May Green

Breakfast: Coffee & fruit 1 HEXA
Lunch: Leftover soup 1 HEXB for chicken, 4 syns for Paxo
Tea: Was gonna make the pumpkin soup with spicy croutons but felt like crap and the freezer's overflowing anyway, so just finished off the rest of the soup and went to bed 1 HEXB for chicken, 3 syns for Paxo
Snacks: None

No point taking a picture cos it looks exactly the same as yesterday :sigh:
Another facking write off of a day :cry:

 

[ermintrude]

So, WI today is 1lb off. 10.5lb to go to my summer target.

No brekkie or lunch for me today cos Im off into hospital for my kidney op in a couple of hours so water only. Only day surgery so hopefully be back tonight so more freezer food I guess. Good thing cos its exploding

Feeling a bit better today. The sun is out and there is zero responsibility on me to do anything whatsoever as Im off to hospital, wahey. And only 2 weeks til I go on holiday.

 

[Keldelacoe]

So, WI today is 1lb off. 10.5lb to go to my summer target.

No brekkie or lunch for me today cos Im off into hospital for my kidney op in a couple of hours so water only. Only day surgery so hopefully be back tonight so more freezer food I guess. Good thing cos its exploding

Feeling a bit better today. The sun is out and there is zero responsibility on me to do anything whatsoever as Im off to hospital, wahey. And only 2 weeks til I go on holiday.

Good luck with the hospital hope they don't leave you waiting too long. Well done on this weeks loss