Farmgirl's Diary

[farmgirl]

Okay here goes. I've put this off long enough, lurking around the forum, reading and being inspired by other folks diarys but avoiding starting my own.
Couldn't figure out why so I wrestled my twisty-turny brain to the ground, made myself think properly and realised its all to do with commitment.
I started healthy eating/smaller portions
6 days ago and cal counting/writing everything down yesterday and, even though it has been a very difficult week, have done well.
I've been spending hours every day reading posts and diaries on this site and have been REALLY inspired by peoples determination, ingenuity, persistence, friendliness and humour but haven't dared to post............in case I fail
I realised that, because I have started and failed so many times in the past, I am, subconsciously wanting to leave myself an escape route for when I fail again. If I don't tell anyone I'm trying, no-one will know when I fail again.
Twisty-turny brain reckons if I start posting on here, getting to know folks, some of you might check up on me and find out if I've been naughty.
So I waited till it wasn't looking then snuk on here and let the cat out of the bag. There Twisty-turny, too late to stop me now !!!
Ok, so I'm slightly nuts but it makes life just that bit more interesting.
I think I may qualify for having the Worst Ever Job for dieting but will explain more in next entry otherwise this will end up as a novel not a diary entry.
Hope everyone is is doing well with their diets xx

 

[farmgirl]

Well, not a great mood today. Things not great with OH after another argument last night. Feeling low, tired and unloved so , instead of stuffing my face with yummy bad food, I've decided to love myself instead.
Had a lovely bubble bath this morning instead of shower, shaved legs so feel all soft, leave-in-conditioner so hair all silky, make-up and coconut body creme.
I feel better and in control, but it has also somehow raised my self respect.
Finished yesterday on 1315 cal and day before on 1005 so doing ok. Its very tempting to try and keep totals low but will be sensible and keep it over 1200.
Weigh in is tomorrow but won't have access to computer till saturday so will record results then.
Good luck to everyone else on their journeys

 

[coffee queen]

Hope tomorrows weigh-in is a good one

 

[Hopez]

Hey farmgirl, hope your weigh in goes well! Im sure it will
I like your idea - changing the way the you react to bad things..like instead of stuffing my face when I feel down, I should do something to make me feel better, something that doesn't involve food. I'm feeling pretty crap at the moment so I might just leave work early, head home, light the fire, have a bath, rug up all warm and read a good book...bliss!
Will look in over the weekend to see how you're going

 

[farmgirl]

crazy 2 weeks !!

After the first 10 days on my diet I lost 3lb which was great but since then, over the last 2 weeks I have just managed to maintain.
I work away from home and had just got into a bit of a routine when had to go home for a funeral. It was not the right situation for dieting but I was still sensible and didn't use it as an excuse to go mad so not too down on myself.
Got back only to have to go on holiday with the family i work for so no control over food bought, no chance to exercise, no routine etc. Again though, didn't go mad and so didn't put any weight back on.
The biggest difference in my behaviour dieting this time round is that I have better control over my sweet tooth. It is usally when i allow myself little chocolatey treats that i lose my grip and start to pig out. This time if i want a treat i make sure it is savoury.
I'm really proud of this but, now the family are back in London I need to get back to writing everything down and lose some more lbs.
For me, the 12st mark is a BIG mental barrier and i would be over the moon if i could get below that. Therefore my goal for June is to lose 5lb and be 11st 13.
I've joined in the June challenge for more motivation and am going to incorporate a daily run of at least 15 mins as often as work allows.
I bought a pedometer to monitor how much i move and was appalled to see some days i only managed 3000 steps...just a bit short of the 10,000 needed to be healthy !!!!!! so i am trying to work on this too.
Dietwise i am going to try and increase the amount of water i drink, and the fruit and veg i eat.
I am also going to update here as much as possible as it helps keep me focused and honest about what I am up to.
Hope everyone else is doing well
xxxxx

 

[puggso_32]

Cheers for the comment on my diary! You have a subscribed reader now


All the best with it, if you stick to your calories I am sure you can do it!

 

[farmgirl]

escapologist bosoms

Feel really pleased with myself today as kept to 1200 cals of healthy food, drank 2 litres of water and went for 30 min run. Even with the run, though, I am still only on 8000 steps on pedometer. Oh well, try harder tomorrow.
Had quite a giggle on my run because of my boobs (sorry guys). Being as stubborn as I am I refused to buy another sports bra when I put on weight so was stuck with what can only be described as 'overflow'. Now, what this means is that a decision has to be made as to just where the excess goes. I mean, do I let it sit at the front and have it leering out over the top, creating 4 scary wobbly things at the risk of terrifying anyone coming towards me, or do I go for the armpit option ?
This involves grabbing a handful of the offending bosom and shoving it sideways forcing it to pop out of the side of the bra into the convenient storage space under the arm. Of course, you still have 4 boobs but the extra 2 are hidden by baggy T shirt ! Decided on armpit storage option and set off but bosoms obviously decide they wanted a better view because I hadn't gone far before looking down to see an escapee (but only 1) so had 3 boobs !! Desperately wanted to adjust things but too many people so had to wait until I reached some trees. Had just managed to recapture escaping trouble causer and was jamming him back in armpit (i.e had right arm inside T shirt and bra making forceful movements) when little old lady with little fluffy dog came from behind a tree !!! The look she gave me was priceless ! I think she was worried her little dog was next !
I ran a bit faster and didn't dare look back.
It is now a major goal to fit that bra properly. It is war !!!

 

[Iris]

I've just read through your diary and I want to say thank you for the laughs! I completely empathise with twisty-turny brain. It's a sly creature, isn't it? The same fiend who used to wait until no one was in the kitchen before pilfering Delicious Thing Which Should Not Be Eaten (but obviously didn't count because no one saw me eat it!)

And the bosoms! Oh yes, I feel your pain. I used to have a fugitive foursome attached to my chest - my way of fettering them was to wear 3 bras at the same time. There was also a misguided experiment with duct tape, but the less said on that the better really.

I went through a pedometer phase a few years back. Was horrified that I only managed 3000 a day, so went slowly barmy getting it up to target, took to running 10k a day before an assault by three ravening sheepdogs gave me the excuse I desperately needed to quit. I hate exercise! Total kudos to you for sticking with it. And even bigger admiration for you managing to substitute savoury snacks for sweet things. I've never managed that! Then again, at my heaviest I often ate 5 lbs of chocolate a day. Yes, five. No, really.

Sounds like you're in the groove and fighting fit. You've got it beat!

 

[sandyk]

Farmgirl thanks a million for the almost wee-inducing imagery in your last post- particularly liked the old lady and her dog materializing from behind the trees....
With the front of my torso not looking that different the back, I can't really relate to your experience running, but I do have a backside that seems to flap independently of my body as I pound the streets. I have to say that with a cap on my head and my ipod blaring I can usually convince myself that I'm invisible to the smirking passerbys and groups of pointing/laughing scallys.... It's all worth it though really. I tell myself..

 

[farmgirl]

Sorry for being an absentee but it wasn't because I was being bad, honest.
My life is very confusing and unpredictable and, although I always keep track of my calories mentally and am making myself move around and excercise When it comes to finding both time and concentration to write things down I struggle.
Beacaue I am working away from home I have only been able to weigh myself every 2 or 3 weeks which is a pain but I have lost another 3lb which brings me to 12.1. this is a big deal for me as 12 st is one of my target weights. I am desperate to be in the 11's so have spent this last week trying really hard.
I am still working (stuck in london in this sticky heat !) but on saturday go home for 8 WEEKS !!!!
Because of the credit crunch and my being self employed as a baby nanny I was worried the work might dry up so, since xmas, having been working non stop just to be sure. Now, though, I have enough dosh to cover bills for 2 months so can't wait for saturday
This summer is going to be very special I think as I have 2 very important goals.
1. to carry on losing weight and to get fit (hopefully inspiring OH to do the same, leading him by example rather than nagging)
2.to work on my horsey. I need to retrain her to Western riding, retrain her to be ridden with no metal bit in her mouth, and to get her used to/safe in traffic. That should REALLY keep me busy. (did I mention that this will be the first time I have done any of those things ?
We have a smallholding so there will be lots to catch up on so lots of healthy outdoor work.
I think the hardest thing will be to keep up the running. I have steadily increased it to 30 mins (over last 6 weeks) and today was the first time it really started to feel great (still buzzing ) but back home, although we are in countryside the roads are too dangerous as people like to whizz around the corners at speed, especially in the summer.
We are lucky in that we have a gym with treadmill, cross trainer, bike and step machine, also free weights and strange weight machines only understood by OH.
The problem is I hate excercising indoors, much prefer to be out running, so will have to be really strict with myself.
Other problem is that OH likes us to do everything together and I like to get up and excercise in the morning whereas he prefers evening. Oh well. we will figure something out. Maybe I could do my cardio in morning and weights with him in evening ?
I have to be very careful over these next few days as I am starting to nibble in the evenings out of tiredness, boredom and heat stress. Because I live in other peoples houses I have no control over what food is lying around, calling to me, tempting me. I can't even go and have a bath or an early night to resist temptation as I work 24 hrs a day.
I am so desperate to lose the 2 lbs and get below 12 st. I am doing ok, I think, but without scales I don't know. I have been mostly good foodwise, and with running, but will be pretty fed up if I don't lose th 2lbs. It is also MTOTM and even my fingers are puffy !!
Weigh day is sunday morning.
Unfortunately, when I get home on Sat, We are going straight to a village party which involves BBQ food, alcohol, and a sleep over so might weigh myself before I go, or just allow myself to take 1 lb off my total if I think I still have alot of food in my system.
Or I could just try NOT BEING A PIGGY
Ok, well got to go and feed the wee baby now.
Thanks for reading and good luck on your own journeys xxx

 

[puggso_32]

Does your mobile have the ability to save unsent texts or keep notes? Mine can keep notes and I use that as a good diary during the day so I don't forget anything. Once I have stuck it in to my diary on here I delete the note.

 

[farmgirl]

Oh buggeration !!
Did really well all day. Decided that, as it was so hot, I would just have cereal. Found the kids stash of cocoa pops so had big bowl full.
problem 1. only full fat milk available
problem 2. it was sooo yummy I had another big bowl full
I'll never get below 12 st at this rate. Now I'm really thirsty but my pooh bear shaped tummy is so full of cocoa pops I daren't drink anything in case I burst :sigh:
Oh well, try harder tomorrow. xxx