FatBrideToBe's Little Diary 2009 - Loving Gym

[miss_unknown]

I hate to preach what everyone else has said but your fella should understand where ya are coming from, is there nothing else that yas can do apart from just going out and having food?? I know hes supportive of ya hun but maybe if he understood that this is not the sort of diet that ya can eat one minute and not the next!! It takes ages to get back on this diet so I wouldnt risk it just for a night of food and theres plenty of time to eat when ya have got to your goal! At the end of the day hun its up to yourself but I wouldn't risk it even for a peanut.

 

[LondonIrishOllie]

screw deals... its all about u.. he should respect that... its not all about eating.... if he gets angry thats just being selfish.. sorry if Im angry but no one should tell u what to do... its ur choice

 

[MrsFatBum]

I understand about making a deal with some one...

But LT is a very strict diet as its TFR! He cant expect you to go off the wagon just for him just for one day :S
would he not rather you be happy and be able to do all these things when your at your target weight?

And its awful that him doing this is making you not want to see him!!

You're doing this diet for yourself so it should be up to you whether you eat or not! If you explained to him how you really feel about eating right now would he not understand? You can still have a good valentines day or like you said, it's only another ordinary day. Hope you decide what's right for you, make sure it is what's right for you and nobody else. You are the one that matters here. Good luck.

I hate to preach what everyone else has said but your fella should understand where ya are coming from, is there nothing else that yas can do apart from just going out and having food?? I know hes supportive of ya hun but maybe if he understood that this is not the sort of diet that ya can eat one minute and not the next!! It takes ages to get back on this diet so I wouldnt risk it just for a night of food and theres plenty of time to eat when ya have got to your goal! At the end of the day hun its up to yourself but I wouldn't risk it even for a peanut.

screw deals... its all about u.. he should respect that... its not all about eating.... if he gets angry thats just being selfish.. sorry if Im angry but no one should tell u what to do... its ur choice

Okay..... umm after reading all your posts theres just one thing I would like to say.. I think i may have come across completely wrong with the way I said stuff back then. He is not forcing me to break the diet and definitely wont be angry if I dont eat. Honestly he is a gem of a guy and has been my only support on this diet... he understands how important this diet is to me and would probably be heartbroken if he read all your posts! I think this is more about how I feel about it because I feel bad about breaking the deal. The deal we had was a fair one because I didnt see the guy for 3 whole months!! See thats how supportive he is of my diet that he sacrificed 3 months of being with me because he knew it was what I wanted. Again, since xmas I have only seen him once when he came down with his parents.. and I must have spent like just half an hour with him. He's being an absolute sweetheart about my diet and he's been there with me through all the ups and downs.

I guess Im feeling like this because I know that my perfect valentines day would be just the way it is every year... he always surprises me with somewhere gorgeous to go for a meal or we'll have weekend away or something... its always been about spending time together. I know that he would agree with it, he has even suggested that he would eat before he picks me up... and then eat again on his way home... I think he'd agree to anything to just spend some time with me. But it makes me feel miserable because its not normal.

I have had enough of feeling like this every single time I am around people. Ollie you said you think Im strong.. but Im not. It makes me cry, it makes me feel absolutely miserable. Since I have started this diet I have hardly seen anyone because I know I cant handle it. I may come across as though this diet is a breeze for me... but its been miserable and so depressing.

I hate this diet. Till I started this diet I did not have a problem with food... this diet has given me a problem with food. I didnt put on all this weight because Ive eaten my way through asda or something... everyone says that to me.. why are you doing this diet, you dont even eat unhealthy! Ive had to put up with years and years of being a damn guinea pig for my doctors trying to figure out what medication would set my hormones right and all this rubbish... and now I just look like a whale. I've put alot at risk to do this diet and its been a constant battle against myself.

I honestly have finally seen the downside of this diet.. and the downside is this.. me right now, the way I feel about everything. this is the downside and I just want it to be over. Everyone is trying to be there for me.. but Im pushing everyone away from me coz I want to get this over with.

 

[MrsFatBum]

ok, im sorry.
Im just not feeling right at the minute. Theres alot of things going through my head and I just want to cry my eyes out. I guess I just want to forget about everything. I want to see my OH and I want everything to be okay. I just want someone to put their arms around me and take it all away. Im sorry Im talking riddles but I guess I just dont have words to explain it all to anyone. Im very sorry for my sudden outburst. Guess it was either that or crying my eyes out. But I've a feeling thats soon to follow. Im sorry guys... lets just scratch today and I'll catch up with you all tomorrow. Im sorry x

 

[ChellyWellyBoot]

Dont be sorry chick!!

We may have got the wrong end of the stick, and im sorry for accusing your OH..

It is really hard.. i know that...
Personnally crying makes me feel sooo much better!! Get a soppy film on.. a blanket.. a chocolate shake and just have a good cry!! (that what i would do)

I hope your ok chick and get everything sorted out... If having a proper valentines is about having a nice meal then do something from the refeed programme!!
I hope your feeling better soon chick!!!

 

[MrsFatBum]

hey honey, i know you all meant well. i think it was silly me who put it out the wrong way. Im just not with it. Ive just been on the phone to OH and cried my eyes out. he said if it makes me feel so bad then he wont come down, he's even offered to have the shakes with me. lol.
cant thank you enough for your support mmwah.
i'll let you know what i do in the end .. thanx xx

 

[MrsFatBum]

Hey everyone
After my rant last night, I just want to say sorry and thank you to all for supporting me. Guess I was really emotional. I cried and cried and cried till I got it all out of my system. I spoke to OH last night and we have decided that I am going to have my shake and he is gonna grab something to eat just before he comes to pick me up... and then we are going to go shopping, arcades and possibly movie... although he doesnt want to we have agreed that he will eat something before he sets off (me with my water) and then Im gonna have a shake as soon as I get home... Given the fact that he will probably be here for about 6hours.. I think I will survive. But if all else fails we are gonna eat at a grill bar if necessary. The choice is mine really, if I feel real bad and I want to eat then Im gonna have some grilled chicken which he will be fine with as he loves stuff like that. I think I will be okay really.

BUT to put a spanner in the works for real... the weather reports say that there is gonna be alot of snow towards the end of the week which means that he wont be able to drive up... so I wont know if I am seeing him till Saturday morning really... so theres no need to think about it so much for now.

Spoke to OH and LT buddy about this diet making me a food monster but I think we've all agreed that I can do this!
One day I am going to be slim and healthy... and then Im going to read back through my diary and laugh alot for the way I felt yesterday

 

[LovelyLauren]

Enjoy your day hun and best of luck xx

 

[MrsFatBum]

Hi fbtb,

Ur doing fab!!!

If worst comes to worst and you have some grileld chicken it shouldnt effect you to much after all its only chicken! lol

How you feeling?

x

Enjoy your day hun and best of luck xx

thanx guys.
feeling alot better today, now that Im in a better mood Im just gonna see how it all works out in the end I guess
I know that in the past when I have had a cheat day and have had chicken I have not gone out of ketosis... so I will be okay. I just want to stay away from food tho.

My next mini goal is April.. (unsure of date) but I think its mid April - my official engagement. I want to have lost another 2stones by then

 

[Miss Bean]

Hey FBTB,
You can have your chicken if you want it! ..but please don't give up you're one of the nicest people on here. We all have good and bad days its totally natural im sure everything will work out in the end. Besides you have to stay i want a word with you about YouTube lol..i have leg cramps now. No seriously though you're doing oh so very well and it's inspiring to go through our journeys all together. If you can do it for as long as you have the rest will be a breeze..one step at a time. Just think - you're dress is calling you to fit in to it that should be enough to keep going. You're gonna look great. Go FBTB !! ( at this point i cheer except you cant hear me lol) xx

 

[MrsFatBum]

hey honey, thanx
no im definitely not leaving!! Im going all the way with this!
Hahaha.. whats this about youtube!
Ive been looking at dresses.... and they make me never wanna eat! lol
thanks so much tho hun xxx

 

[Miss Bean]

my silly calf is cramped and now i can't do any exercise. Never mind though I was just joking really. Im glad you feel better now we can all feel better to. Mini Mins for life i say xx

 

[Purpleangel]

hey hun hows your day been today?

My Hubby was peed off cos i refused to break the LT for one meal out on V day. Its so not worth it! I think he is just annoyed cos he wanted a huge mixed grill at the Turkish...hehehe.

anyways whatever you decide to do it will be a lovely day cos you two will be together

 

[miss_unknown]

ok, im sorry.
Im just not feeling right at the minute. Theres alot of things going through my head and I just want to cry my eyes out. I guess I just want to forget about everything. I want to see my OH and I want everything to be okay. I just want someone to put their arms around me and take it all away. Im sorry Im talking riddles but I guess I just dont have words to explain it all to anyone. Im very sorry for my sudden outburst. Guess it was either that or crying my eyes out. But I've a feeling thats soon to follow. Im sorry guys... lets just scratch today and I'll catch up with you all tomorrow. Im sorry x

Hey hun, Ya have nothing to be sorry about babe and to be honest we probably got the wrong end of the stick as sometimes words that are wrote down on a computer may come across different and upset the person on the other side. So apologizes from myself if ya felt I was accusing him of anything. I can understand where ya are coming from as I dont get too see my fella often either, he works and lives near scotland which is a 6hr drive away from me so its impossible with our jobs to meet up as much as we would like. My OH is the same, he always gets a bit narky with me when we dont go out and have something to eat as he likes to treat me and as its valentines day (special occasion) then by all means have a nice time with him. If ya dont mind I was reading your diary as well with the OH and he said that we got the wrong end of the stick. His advice was ya havent seen each other in 3 months and if your partner is supportive of your diet and yas did come to an agreement of meeting up and enjoying yourselves well then one day wasn't going to kill ya as long as ya keep to chicken and proteins, sort of have two shakes and a small meal. He wants me to go out on saturday nite for a meal which I am going to do heck it, its going to be the wedding before I see him next so I am dam well going to enjoy myself.

So here dont let it get to yourself, go out and have a nice time with the man of your future and dont regret it for a minute. Ya are going through an emotional stage in your life at the moment and unfortunately this diet doesnt learn ya about food ways, its basically there to get ya on the right track then the rest is up to ya. Its not an easy road hun so dont think it will be but be very assured we are with you 100% of the way and are never going to let ya slip off the track. We all want ya to reach your goal but we want ya to be happy along your road of success. All the best chick, if ya need anything anytime, pm me or ya have got my number send me a text whenever day or nite.

Please dont think we are criticising you for having something to eat because we have all been there, at the end of the day its your decision so get out there and enjoy yourself. Take care :wave_cry:

 

[miss_unknown]

omg that was a long one, i seem to be doing that all night...lmao

 

[MrsFatBum]

awwww thank you miss unknown! You've been an absolute rock through all this... I went for my weigh in... ahum.. I lost an ounce.. so I am classing that as a big fat nothing.. but on the brighter side I have not put on any weight in my 2 week off from LT.. which I am eternally grateful for because I know how much I have eaten. The pharmacist was really nice today... she told me that because I have been eating and stuff for over two weeks I will have put on a fair bit of weight and not to be upset because its normal etc... and then I stood on the scales and she was like WHAATTTT!!!! thats amazing you havent put any weight on whatsoever!!!! hehe that made me smile. I did think I had put on weight .. but im so glad I havent. This has made me even more determined not to cheat on Saturday.
OH said that he is very proud of me and he will be on my side if I choose not to eat on Saturday... but also said to me that if I didnt put on weight by eating crap for two weeks and going to a buffet etc etc.. a bit of chicken on saturday is not going to kill me. And I guess that is the honest truth... at the mo I am one of those lucky people who has not put on any weight after any cheats or time off... (not that i will be taking advantage of that) it simply makes me feel alot better about the diet on the whole because I know I wont pile the weight on again after the diet finishes.. which is what Ive been worrying about.

Gosh it must be so hard for you with your OH living so far away from you!!!... it only takes mine 3 n a half hours to drive up to me and I thought that was bad !

Oh and if your not gonna be seeing him till the wedding then you better better enjoy yourself on valentines! And thanks to your OH for being so understanding and the advice he has given

 

[LondonIrishOllie]

awwww thank you miss unknown! You've been an absolute rock through all this... I went for my weigh in... ahum.. I lost an ounce.. so I am classing that as a big fat nothing.. but on the brighter side I have not put on any weight in my 2 week off from LT.. which I am eternally grateful for because I know how much I have eaten. The pharmacist was really nice today... she told me that because I have been eating and stuff for over two weeks I will have put on a fair bit of weight and not to be upset because its normal etc... and then I stood on the scales and she was like WHAATTTT!!!! thats amazing you havent put any weight on whatsoever!!!! hehe that made me smile. I did think I had put on weight .. but im so glad I havent. This has made me even more determined not to cheat on Saturday.
OH said that he is very proud of me and he will be on my side if I choose not to eat on Saturday... but also said to me that if I didnt put on weight by eating crap for two weeks and going to a buffet etc etc.. a bit of chicken on saturday is not going to kill me. And I guess that is the honest truth... at the mo I am one of those lucky people who has not put on any weight after any cheats or time off... (not that i will be taking advantage of that) it simply makes me feel alot better about the diet on the whole because I know I wont pile the weight on again after the diet finishes.. which is what Ive been worrying about.

Gosh it must be so hard for you with your OH living so far away from you!!!... it only takes mine 3 n a half hours to drive up to me and I thought that was bad !

Oh and if your not gonna be seeing him till the wedding then you better better enjoy yourself on valentines! And thanks to your OH for being so understanding and the advice he has given

Just a word of advice on the whole eating on sat thing.. remind yourself that you're still paying for a weeks worth of LT. is it worth paying that much for not losing anything if you do decide to eat?

 

[MrsFatBum]

Just a word of advice on the whole eating on sat thing.. remind yourself that you're still paying for a weeks worth of LT. is it worth paying that much for not losing anything if you do decide to eat?

hey monkey,
if I do decide to eat I wont be eating alot.. probably some grilled chicken or something. Have spoken to the pharmacy lady today and explained saturday situation and she said that I will be okay with eating chicken or fish.. which is what she will be doing herself on Saturday. At the moment I am feeling strong as hell and I think I wont eat on Saturday. The eating this is a last resort as I have mentioned before... so hopefully if I still have this attitude on Saturday I wont feel like eating
As for the money thing.. I think even if it was a waste of the money I spend.. it would be worth the wonderful day that I would have and a big smile on his face xx

 

[MrsFatBum]

Hey Everyone
As I will be very busy tomorrow I thought I would say Happy Valentines Day in advance. I hope everyone has a wonderful time with their loved ones xxxx

 

[Miss Bean]

You can all give me a hug to make up for my lack of one if you like. Hope you have a great day FBTB im sure you shall look stunning for your OH Remember your doing really well so keep positive. You can do it ! We shall be cheering for you. xxx