Flopsters Management/Maintenance Journal

[Flopster]

Today's the day - Monday 30th October 2006

Well today is officially the first day of the rest of my life! The day I start Management properly.

Yesterday I had a tiny wobble - we went to my sisters for a halloween party with all the family and she ordered pizza in. I was feeling a little bit deprived so I cut a 1cm thick slice from the top going in - really nothing more than a nibble. I felt better mentally and went on to SS in the evening as planned. It was that tiny it didn't knock me out of ketosis as I have been weeing on those little sticks!

It was a funny old day yesterday. The twins had parties from the old school and many of the mums from that class haven't seen me since I left and of course there were loads and loads of positive comments which really helped me stay motivated.

Felt a bit sad and unsettled all day yesterday - one of my daughter's old friends literally clung on to her hand all day long and wouldn't let go and it made me a bit teary and "omg what the hell have I done" but this morning at the new school she ran off quite happily to her new friends - I really was expecting a bit of a step backwards because she was so excited to see her old classmates and a little bit tearful when it came to goodbyes (they didn't get chance to say goodbye to any of their class mates as we didn't decide to move the kids until 3 weeks into the summer holiday).

Today I ended up in the office despite being booked on a training course and so I am going to spend my time wisely - by planning my meals for the rest of the week and then going shopping to get all the ingredients.

Tonight though I plan on having some salmon - grilled. If I remember correctly there isn't any salad allowed until day 3 which is Wednesday.

I am looking forward to sitting down with the family and eating.

It is a funny little life isn't it - who'd've thought I would be this excited about a bit of grilled salmon???

 

[boofaloo]

Grilled salmon sounds heavenly!!! I never used to like fish but could eat a whale at the moment.

The whole pizza thing sounds such an achievement. I am still waiting to be able to have a taste of something and feel satisfied and not want to pig out.
Well done you. x

 

[Bellybee]

Well Done Flopster.
Sounds like you are going to do Fab.
I am officialy starting WW on the 26th November and I can't wait.

 

[Flopster]

Grilled salmon sounds heavenly!!! I never used to like fish but could eat a whale at the moment.

The whole pizza thing sounds such an achievement. I am still waiting to be able to have a taste of something and feel satisfied and not want to pig out.
Well done you. x

Have to say the salmon was a good choice to break the fast, it was quite "meaty" but light at the same time.

I guess the pizza thing is an achievement - I honestly hadn't thought of it like that at all - somehow it manifested itself as "failure" because I succumbed to it but you are right actually at least I only had a tiny bit!

Well Done Flopster.
Sounds like you are going to do Fab.
I am officialy starting WW on the 26th November and I can't wait.

Wooohooo, that is not long at all now, no wonder you can't wait.

How did you do this weekend?

 

[Flopster]

Breaking the fast!

Well that is it - I am now officially on the route to management.

I just had a nice piece of salmon (I got a salmon side put salt and pepper on and wrapped in tin foil). The rest of the family had it with potato wedges but a healthy sized portion was enough for me and I feel full.

The kids were thrilled to have me sat at the table with them - although of course I coouldn't sit for very long as one wanted ketchup the second I plonked by bum down, another wanted a drink and so on! I am definately going to go out for a meal with my other half so I can sit down and enjoy food again some time soon.

I was going to finish off by having a LL chocolate mousse but I am full so will save it for later.

I also started to listen to my LL CD today - I was in the office by myself and had it running through the day but missed quite a lot as I was on the phone, then I tried again in the car but again wasn't listening intently.

I need to find a way to get to listen properly and repeatedly because I think that there is some really useful stuff in there which links in very closely to several theories and practices I already know and do in terms of my business but have never put them in context of food before.

I am determined to really listen to the CD as it really had some powerful stuff in there between the less powerful stuff

I also want to think about what I want to achieve on a daily basis so that I can write it down and keep track - I am hopefully going to give that some thought tonight. Obviously my daily checklist will include things like my morning weight, whether I have done any exercise, listened to the CD, done homework and done the relaxation exercises - that is what I am looking forward to most - I think I need to "borrow" (permanently) my daughters personal CD player!

 

[boofaloo]

Or better still - treat yourself to your very on CD player.

Good on you for having your salmon and only your salmon!!!

The CD sounds good - i once put a german CD on and fell asleep. I swear it brainwashed me as random german phrases kept coming into my mind the next day!! I was trying to improve my german at the time though so i suppose it had the desired effect!!

Sounds like you need to design yourself a chart!! I love making them. I have made allsorts of charts from food tracking, exercise goals, CD planners etc etc.

How does it feel to be back in the land of the eating?

 

[chicken on a mission]

Flopster you are finally starting the rest of your life and I'm thrilled for you

Aparently there are 6 cd's. I am going to ask for the third this week because I find them useful. The first one was a blinder!

I have found having time to sit and listen to them without doing anything else a challenge so I worked on the premise that just having the thing playing even if I wasn't listening to it would still make a difference and every little helps

What I find hard is trying to get time when my little girl isn't about because I don't want her using the word 'fat' or 'diet'. I have kept the diet from her and explained my eating habits away as doctor's orders and medicine related. At 4 she accepted that readily.

I wish you all the best for your journey in this the most crucial of all the stages. Good luck

 

[Bellybee]

Well done you sitting down and enjoying your salmon.
I love salmon I love the delicate meaty texture it's lush what a good choice you made.
I survived the weekend but all told had quarter of a pint of skimmed millk which I wasnt allowed but thats all.
I cannot wait for weight watchers to start officialy so far I have thought up about thirty meals.

 

[boofaloo]

Good morning!! Have a super day today. whats on the menu tonight?

 

[Flopster]

Good morning!! Have a super day today. whats on the menu tonight?

Hi Helen - probably chicken if I can get to the butchers in time. It is a wierd day today because the kids all are at friends or have friends round and then they are going trick or treating so I think that food is just going to have to be slotted in somehow! If I can't get to the butchers I'll maybe pick up some fish again! Ah planning, you can't beat it!

Well done you sitting down and enjoying your salmon.
I love salmon I love the delicate meaty texture it's lush what a good choice you made.
I survived the weekend but all told had quarter of a pint of skimmed millk which I wasnt allowed but thats all.
I cannot wait for weight watchers to start officialy so far I have thought up about thirty meals.

That is great - I have spent a lot of time recently planning my future meals, I love recipes and cooking healthily.

The salmon was nice, perfect for a first meal.

Flopster you are finally starting the rest of your life and I'm thrilled for you

Aparently there are 6 cd's. I am going to ask for the third this week because I find them useful. The first one was a blinder!

I have found having time to sit and listen to them without doing anything else a challenge so I worked on the premise that just having the thing playing even if I wasn't listening to it would still make a difference and every little helps

What I find hard is trying to get time when my little girl isn't about because I don't want her using the word 'fat' or 'diet'. I have kept the diet from her and explained my eating habits away as doctor's orders and medicine related. At 4 she accepted that readily.

I wish you all the best for your journey in this the most crucial of all the stages. Good luck

Thanks Chicken, I know what you mean about the effect of this diet on the kids - mine are a bit older and I have used it to show them that it really isn't good to have to resort to this sort of diet to control their weight - and have used it as an opportunity to talk sensibly to the kids about a balanced diet.

The CD really was very powerful, so much of what they are talking about are things I already do for my business - I just never thought about putting it into context of food before.

Or better still - treat yourself to your very on CD player.

Good on you for having your salmon and only your salmon!!!

The CD sounds good - i once put a german CD on and fell asleep. I swear it brainwashed me as random german phrases kept coming into my mind the next day!! I was trying to improve my german at the time though so i suppose it had the desired effect!!

Sounds like you need to design yourself a chart!! I love making them. I have made allsorts of charts from food tracking, exercise goals, CD planners etc etc.

How does it feel to be back in the land of the eating?

LOL I may just design myself a chart. Guess what I forgot to do the relaxation CD last night when I went to bed - duh!!

I did pop a couple of small halloween chocolates in my mouth before I went to bed - why I don't know - other than they were just there. Grrrr!

 

[chicken on a mission]

One thing I have definitely noticed is that on my 'bad' days my water consumption is pants!

I don't know if this is because the water helps control your appetite or whether it is an indicator that I am actually taking the time throughout the day to look after me.

I think it is a proably a bit of both because I know that even now I still get the thirst pangs mixed up with hunger pangs.

I hope you get a chance to work through the when, where, why and how you were feeling aspects of each time you felt out of control and picked. I'm going to be really boring and say that for me it is this that is the most important aspect in sorting my head out. By doing this I have been able to pick out a pattern and work out strategies to deal with it the majority of the time. In order to manage my weight I only need to get things right enough of the time to maintain, perfection is not required and has no part in my life anyway

 

[Flopster]

One thing I have definitely noticed is that on my 'bad' days my water consumption is pants!

I don't know if this is because the water helps control your appetite or whether it is an indicator that I am actually taking the time throughout the day to look after me.

I think it is a proably a bit of both because I know that even now I still get the thirst pangs mixed up with hunger pangs.

I hope you get a chance to work through the when, where, why and how you were feeling aspects of each time you felt out of control and picked. I'm going to be really boring and say that for me it is this that is the most important aspect in sorting my head out. By doing this I have been able to pick out a pattern and work out strategies to deal with it the majority of the time. In order to manage my weight I only need to get things right enough of the time to maintain, perfection is not required and has no part in my life anyway

You are right (again, tut) the bad days always are the one's where I don't drink the water, I do think it helps as an appitite surpression.

Last nights blip is definately PMT related and in cmparison to what I used to eat, is actually very controlled.

I know in the future I'm not going to be perfect and you are so right again that it isn't about being perfect, it is about being balanced. I think that I also need to be a little bit good to me and allow myself a tiny bit of guilt free chocolate - and the emphasis there is on a bit because it helps me get through that difficult few days. I know it can be a slippery slope but if allowances are made on the run up and just after I feel like that maybe I can crack it. If that doesn't work, then fine, other coping strategies will have to be found. I think at this stage it is all about trial and error.

 

[Flopster]

Sorry chicken I am going potty, I just posted my days events on your thread. That'll confuse everyone.

I have just deleted it incase you are wondering!

 

[chicken on a mission]

I do my diary as I go along and use word, At the end of the day I change it all to the past tense and then save it and copy and paste a version into here.

That way my diary is fresh and raw and I get the most from reading and writing it

Keep writing Flopster as I love reading your posts

 

[Flopster]

I do my diary as I go along and use word, At the end of the day I change it all to the past tense and then save it and copy and paste a version into here.

That way my diary is fresh and raw and I get the most from reading and writing it

Keep writing Flopster as I love reading your posts

Aha and here's me thinking you have an excellent memory! I was keeping a blog as well but can't be bothered any more, I often wrote in there first then copied to here or the other wa round.

Thanks Chicken.

 

[boofaloo]

You are doing so well - I see you've lost more weight. Thats fab!!!!

Will the weight loss continue or will it slow down/stop in management?

Heres to a good day for us both tomorrow.

 

[Mini]

Hi Flopster,

Your amazing and your doing so really well...I admire your control and your thinking is excellent.

Not far to go to goal now...

Love Mini xxx

 

[Flopster]

Awww bless you for that Mini because despite the bravado, I'm not feeling great about tonights choices and really do feel a bit sick. I'm just not used to eating in these quantities any more.

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Hiya Flops, I think you did great, as I have said before, Life is Life and we deal with it the best we can, as long as you dont think, oh s*d it I can eat a full box of chocks or a massive bag of crisps as I just ate something then thats just fine and dandy!

I must admit, staying in control has never been my strong point with food and Im not sure I could have stopped at a few crisps so good on ya, I hope I am that strong soon x

 

[Mini]

Hi Flopster,

You are still taking your packs along with the food?

I would not force the food as it will come and you want to hand on to that full feel trigger and keep it working now that it is back...you don't want to over ride it.

Is the CD your listening to from LL the same thing from the start or are you now on another phase of CBT?

Love Mini xxx