*FOOD TALK* OK I'm just going to have a moan.....

[Twinny]

I struggle with this diet at the best of times but today has been particularly hellish!!! Its my flatmates birthday so there has been lots of celebrating and socialising this weekend which was fine and I got through it all. Today there were cakes at work on the table behind me WHICH I COULD SMELL all day long and had to pass every time I needed to leave my desk. Again, managed to get through it, phew I thought as I arrived home. Breathe out, coffee and a bar and reeeeeeelax!!!!

WRONG!!! Friends have turned up and just ordered a load of pizzas etc i just feel like crying. It seems to be deprivation after deprivation at the moment and I just don't know how much longer I can do this for! I know I'll be slim at the end of it but I put the weight straight back on last time so why should this time be any different?!

Sorry for the moan but this is the only place that understands what I'm going through. If I try to talk to my friends I always get either "just have a couple of days off then get back on it" or "well, you might as well give up cause it didn't work last time".

It's just so hard - sorry for the vent :cry::cry:

 

[Iveabigask]

im sorry to ask this, but how did you put it all back on?

 

[Twinny]

I probably kept it off for about 6-8 months then I went on hols and a few bad habits crept back. I re-joined LL when I had re-gained 3 stone but lost my Nan and Aunt in the same week and just nose dived into all my old ad habits. I still told myself "well, is not like Im as big as I was before" SUCH crooked thinking I know.

And now here I am. Im just having a rough day and am over tired. :sigh:

 

[Iveabigask]

but youve taken a step in the right direction so well done!!!! Dont be lead by anyone else.
I have to be honest, ive been avoiding foodie situations since i started this 7 weeks ago. Only now am i kind of coming to terms with people eating lol
I did cave once and had a blow out for 4 days so i understand how youre feeling.

Stay focussed, youre doing great xxxxxx

 

[Minerva]

((hug)) I know it's hard. But, you have to look at food differently. I know I'm one to speak, I guess I went through a similar situation - losing family and having too much stress all at once and I regained some weight. But the fact is - that you are trying to fix it.
And it IS harder to fix it once you've tasted success. Your failure just feels that much bigger (and boy do people and your inner self keep reminding you...). The success seems further away simply because you'd never seen it the first time you did it. Weird, crooked, sabotage thinking.

But, think about it. Is the pizza worth giving up on yourself for? Just say to yourself: "This slice of pizza is worth more than I am" ... I bet you can't. It doesn't make any logical sense. And of course, it's not true.

Have a think about the behaviours that led you to regain. Mine, I can tell you were bingeing to stop the head-chaos shouting at me. It gave me time to think. I do my best problem solving when I'm eating it seems. Strange, but, true. But, I found a way to work around this problem - while perhaps not in a way that SOLVES my habits directly right now, but it doesn't do DAMAGE that leads me back to drowning in 'The River Nile' (or Denial as we call it). I am slowly tackling my behaviour, but you have to remember that to FIX a problem - it takes trial and error. We all learn from our mistakes.
I am slowly fixing mine by understanding my triggers. I minimise damage by calorie counting and eating extremely calorie light foods - I can have ALOT of them, so I have a binge that does no damage. Ok. Not a great solution. But at least I can sit back and have a look at WHY I wanted to go and eat a house. Next time I see the situation coming and prepare for it in a more constructive manner. It's taken me over a year to come to this point, from my original weight gain to being emotionally ready to address my food-related behaviour. And the key phrase here is: Being Emotionally Ready. It takes a very long time to get over the death of those closest to us. Take the time out to heal - but hopefully not with food.

I wish you the best. Take care of yourself - this is the most important thing you can do for YOU and those around you. xx

 

[Twinny]

Thanks so much for taking the time to post that Minerva - your words make perfect sense and really help put things into perspective. You are quite right - that slice of pizza is not worth more than I am! I do still have this journey to complete and lots more lessons to learn but I will get there!

*Edited to add* and STAY there this time!!!

 

[LadyT]

Keep your chin up hun, it is difficult when your friends and colleagues all seem to be particpating in the sport known as eating lol.

Your stats prove that this works and to be fair the issues that arose which led to the gain of weight were difficutl emotions to deal with, who wouldnt get lost on their journey dealing with these. The positive in this si that you identified the problem and tackled it many wouldnt have bothered. Be proud and stay strong xx

 

[MagdaX]

I should know how hard it can get at times hun.
What I realised though and actually I think this is what is going to make the biggest difference is awareness. You are tackling the issues and you realise where you go wrong and you aim to correct it. We know why it went wrong the last time. We just stopped being aware and we let go.
The main thing is not to lose control and never ever give up.
You will get there hun. We all will!
Hugs xxx

 

[Twinny]

Thank you lovelies, I've been to group tonight and only lost 1lb but feel so much more positive. Your responses have helped so much.

 

[Jackieb68]

Hi

A loss is a loss!! A pound off is great! Your losses have been so consistent!

Well done!

Jackie x

 

[Twinny]

Thanks Jackie

 

[Kirstie007]

Twinny my darling girl :grouphugg:,

The lovely ladies have said it all but I just wanted to add a little phrase my counsellor reminds me of (constantly):

It's my choice to do this.

It's become my mantra, I'm fed up feeling crap about myself so LL is something I'm doing for me, I can stop whenever I choose but the results might not be what I want.

I realise talk is cheap, but you're doing great, as someone who is yet to master the art of socialising and not giving in I can tell you your will power is incredible, tomorrow is another day I'm sure things will seem a bit easier then x

 

[Minerva]

Well done Twinny!! I love the positive vibes - helps keep us all on track.

You have no idea how much lapse stories and such do influence all of us - even subconsciously. And when someone remains strong, positive and lapse-free - it's SUCH a BIG boost for everyone!! Something kicks in and says: "If they can do it, so can I !!"

 

[Twinny]

Thanks Girls. I must confess I was 'considering' cheating on Friday night after only losing a pound. Have been invited to a BBQ and drinks etc and I was thinking 'sod it if Im only losing a pound a week anyway'.... but you know what, Im NOT going to cheat (I never have tbh, I just like to think I can if I want to LOL) Im going to get all dressed up and go and be fun and good company without eating or drinking. I dont need to eat and drink to have fun!!! (Can you tell I'm feeling positive today

What really gets under my skin though is people telling me they are losing LOADS more than a pound a week on WW or SW and they are eating and drinking BOG OFF, this works for me and I'm sticking to it!

I FEEL GOOOOOOOOOD

 

[Clarabow]

They dont loose loads every week, and gain on quite a few. They dont keep going to continue to attend every week either. So bah humbug to them. Struggling with food myself today as well, but this will pass I am sure.

Good on you for comming back, second time for me as well.
Onwards and donwards x

 

[LadyT]

Twinny, I too get frustrated at comments from others who are on various diets about how they can eat and lose weight. Reality is the losses are much lower and far less consistent than ours are to be fair!

I think you have been so strong given the tempations placed in front of you recently. Dont give up you can do this and just think a pound this week potentially means a whole lot more next week.

Food is not what it is cracked up to be lol xx