From Fatcat to Kittycat

So skin update, I have been using bio oil and cocoa butter every day for over a week now. A few drops of bio oil in the bath in the morning, followed by massaging it in to problem areas after getting out the bath- note that putting it in the bath makes the bath bloody slippy so you have to be careful getting out- have had a couple of grab the towel rail moments! the cocoa butter in the evening before bed onto everywhere that may have saggy skin and also where I have stretch marks. I must say my skin is feeling lovely and soft and has also recovered from getting sunburnt at the weekend without peeling, my batwings are looking better as well, I havent really noticed any other difference although it has got me used to my wobbly bits, up until now I have kind of avoided looking at them or touching them other than to wash but obviously rubbing in oils has meant ive had to become friends with my fat. It's kind of like a reality wake up call, rather than ignoring it it's made me look at myself properly and whilst I don't like how my body is now I know I'm moving in the right direction.

I've also been using the oil on my face in the evening (I get very dehydrated skin due to being sat in air con all day and then being in a hot sweaty climate) the bio oil is meant to even skin tone as well and decrease suns spots and i have definitely seen a difference- the dryness is much better - not sure about the sunspots though yet. But my skin is feeling great, no outbreaks or anything- also a mix of the diet as well I guess. :)

as for the cellulite hmm, it's still there, I'm arranging fro another anti cellullite treatment so even though it hurt like hell it made a big reduction on my legs and derriere. not so much on my tummy though- not quite sure how to deal with that bit.

You know one of the things i hate about being fat is my uneven tan lines. My arms are quite bronzed (for me) as is my face and across my upper chest and back, my lily white legs have even got a bit of colour at the moment, and then my body which is hidden under a one piece is so pasty white, it's the ultimate farmers tan- I can't wait to be able to wear swimwear that doesn't have tummy control and allows me to go to the pool or the beach without being horrified as to who will see me and criticise me. I always have the fear of being the beached whale and everyones fat mate so I am really looking forwards to that. And having thighs that don't rub together to the point of skin burning and being so painful- I can't remember the last time i wore a skirt without leggings or long leg granny pants to stop it. Hardly sexy! Things to look forwards too!

KC
 
Glad your skin's looking good but do be careful in the bath!! lol Could be a sight LOL

I had the peanut and malt bars they are lush!!! BUT... I did have a slight runny tummy (sorry too much info) but I didn't feel ill and it only happened once. Wouldn't put me off at all, however, just had 2nd weigh in and lost 4lbs. I was a bit disappointed as I haven't cheated, drank so much water I can now float!!. Asked consultant if bars could take me out of ketosis, - no not heard of it before - I also found thurs, fri and sat hard!!! I didn't give in but for the next 2 weeks Im trying just products and no bars.

I do believe its psychological but I will not give in this works for lots of people why not me???

Dawn





 
In three weeks time I am coming home for a weeks leave, I haven't been home for about 5 months. My family don't know that I'm on this diet or that i've lost weight, on one hand I'm excited as it's felt like a long time since I was home but on another i'm nervous. My weight has always been open for debate with my mother much to my reluctance, but there is always a comment of you've lost weight or you've gained it etc. I hate it. I think a lot of my eating habits go back to my mum and bad habits I'd picked up with her so its a really difficult topic for me.

As a child ( who was a healthy weight) I can remember going on my first diet with my mum at the ripe old age of 7. And of course this was a diet that would last two weeks then go out of the window. I think this is where my feelings of lack of self worth started, the not being good enough, and comfort eating. I actually stayed a healthy weight up until I went to college (where I lived on toasted tuna sandwiches and cheap booze). But my teenage years where spent being repulsed by myself and seeing myself as alot bigger than I was, I can remember having a science class in our 4th year senior (so about 15) and the whole class having to weigh in front of everyone. I can remember my weight was 59kgs and I was the same height then as I am now. thats 9 1/2 stone! and I thought I was massive as I was one of the heaviest in the class! I went shopping for a new school skirt and fitted into a size 10 only to be told by my mother that it was too tight and I would need a size 12 if not a 14- the feeling of humiliation and confusion and i can recall going back to the fitting room and crying. I spent years hating myself and having zero self confidence, feeling inadequate and going on god knows what diets whenever my mum did as well as other ones. I went on to self harm and attempted to be bulimic but hated being sick so stopped after a month or so and continued with the unhealthy relationship with food. At 19 I'd moved to Uni and gained some weight and can remember my grandad telling me he'd give me 100 quid if I lost a stone- again it just reinforced how much of a failure I was and how much of a disappointment to my entire family.

It gave me such an unhealthy relationship with food that has then continued on throughout my adult life, I generally don't look after myself very well and think really it comes down to how i value myself. I can remember maybe 6 or 7 years ago visiting my parents one weekend and my mum commenting on my weight yet again and I literally broke down in tears and begged her to stop. I tried to explain to her that I hate it and how low and inadequate it makes me feel, the fact that my weight has to be the first topic of conversation and then at every given opportunity to bring it up again and whenever I eat to criticise what I'm eating or how much, and it really doesn't help me to have it commented on as the first thing she says to me. She can never say well done for your promotion or we're proud of you or anything other than you've gained or lost weight. It makes me really sad. All the years of her saying you should try and lose weight and then making a chocolate cake and telling me I have to have some as she made it especially for me but then comment on my portion size... I mean why would you do that?

So when I go home I know it's a huge trigger for me to comfort eat and often secretly eating (and drink to stay sane). I'm staying with my folks for about 5 nights in total and am kind of dreading it. I'm hoping she will respect me when I say I'm not eating and will not bring it up as a conversation every 5 minutes. Normally when I go home I get questioned every 5 minutes, what are you having for breakfast, then as I'm eating breakfast -what would you like for lunch and what time will you be home for dinner. The whole world seems to evolve around food and particularly what is going into my mouth. I'm not sure how to deal with it right now and guess I will have to tell her in advance so they don't buy extra food in, but I know it's going to be discussed. I guess it's remembering that I am an adult and an adult that is in control and the issues my mum has do not have to be my issues ( and to buy earplugs before I go) and I do not have to eat just because she says I should or to break because she makes me feel bad that it isn't a healthy diet etc.

Honestly as much as I love my mum I wish she could get over it.

On the plus side, whilst I am home I am seeing a lovely young man who I have had a casual relationship (due to being 5000km away from each other the majority of the time)with for the last 3 years- I see him whenever I go home and we catch what time we can together. He's great and seems to think I'm gorgeous whatever size I am. Whilst I'm feeling better about myself already the idea of being naked with a gorgeous man makes my stomach turn. So the next 3 weeks I really want to focus so I can feel more confident with him. I mean I'm not a wallflower by any means but it's hard to enjoy intimacy when you're trying to hold your belly in! Also I want to get some sexy undies to seduce him with and look half decent in them! Ok thats a good target to focus on. Being naked in front of a man- eek! Thats enough to scare the crap out of me and keep me focused!

KC
 
I can certainly relate to your story hun. I've decided I need to slim down before I'm 40, I've always been obese has made me realise how unhappy I've been hiding away and secretly eating as it made me happy.

Keep going, buy those sexy knickers and be proud for what you have achieved already xx
 
You've been through a hell of a lot so far, just re read what you've written and see how strong you really are!

Don't forget that nor forget you are changing for yourself not for anyone to question or ask about your weight.

On the jealous side....good luck with your man. Def. agree with Pops, get the naughty knickers out!!!! ;)
 
Hey all. KC I love your entries, so raw and honest :) I think you're doing blooming brilliant. Keep it going everyone! I just started today on SS so hope I can mirror some of the successes you guys have had so far!
 
Welcome CeeBoo,

this is my first day of Week 3. I found week 1 fine, however, week 2 for about 3 days I found the hardest!!! Good Luck ad keep reading posts and looking at the before / after pictures, they are all really helping me to start tis journey.x :)
 
Thanks Wannabe :) I got told by my CDC that generally if you can do the first two weeks you can do it until you reach you're goal! I am pretty hungry atm!! My boyfriend is doing Step 2 and guess who gets to cook his tea?! Testing my willpower already but from looking through the forum makes me think I can defo do it! ?
 
Well, we're all here for one reason Cee, Im going to take your consultants words of wisdom...today is fine - I am lucky in my daughter gets her own dinners now (good girl lol) and so I haven't been tempted. Yest and today, the smells of garlic bread, pizza, chilli etc smel lovely but I really haven't had the urge to 'test' anything.

Im determined on this diet to stick to it. Its the most radical - as in no real food - but Im hoping that's the thing that's going to help me.

This is sad - Ive got postit notes stuck to the inside of a food cupboard, labelled week 1, week 2 etc until week 8, then another line of week 8 - week 12.
I've been able to take of 2 weeks and I know its nuts but to have something very visual make my goal of 8 (then maybe continue to 12) week realistic.

Every little helps lol
 
The post it idea is brilliant Wannabe. Must try that to help keep me going. I just want to taste food!! I got the summer berry water flavouring and think it's the bees knees. I've used an old 2L pop bottle and have that made up in the fridge so I can have a glass of that instead of plain water every now and then. Flavoured green teas help fill me up as well. Can't wait til I'm at the point where I don't actually feel hungry!!!
 
That does pass honest. I didn't really believe it but its true. Week 3 for me and Ive past a beautiful chip shop today and yes smelt gorgeous and my daughter has bought fresh cake to eat and cooking her dinner. Lovely smells, looks lovely but I don't fancy it, Ive had my soup and have to have 2 more products today I happy (or ok) with that. I like water so lucky there. I keep a Evian 1 litre next to me at ALL times, work, in bag and at home here now.

I know I can do this now I am so convinced, got Mum & Dads 45th Anniversary and Rebecca's 18th birthday party in one week, organising food / drink etc with Mum & Dad, (Mums cooking) and its a shame I cant eat or drink the champagne but I will soon.

I do hope that I can keep this positivity up, but I can as long as results are as quick and dramatic as other woman on here.

Oh, I was watching you tube - and came across Duel Dynamics - they are Cambridge consultants. Try and watch a few of their videos. (They have tons of them) all real woman and if you have time to waste, I quiet liked some of their stories. He spoke some sense too.
 
Ahh yeah I've watched a few. They're pretty good. I really wanted to follow someone's weightloss from start to finish like a weekly thing but hardly anyone has done that, or they've begun and stopped recording after 3 weeks :( so I'm doing one! Did a day 1 video yesterday and then gonna do a weekly one after that. :)

Like you said though this isn't forever, we just have to remind ourselves of this and put it into perspective that it's maybe 6 months or so of our entire lives. If we give up then in 6 months time we'll look back and think 'oh if I'd carried on I'd be my goal weight by now'. And we would just regret it!
 
That's right, that why I like the post its. Funny I looked at them again today.
Did you post your diary on you tube?? My long term time as it were is Christmas. I really want to buy something nice dress maybe that shows off my new body. Im hoping by then I would have lost my weight but also eating a sensible amount and can join in eating out or at home.
 
Just watched it... It's good! More guts than me putting myself out there lol I thinks its a great idea though, lots will beable to relate to it.

Keep us updated when you post each week. I'm interested to seeing it :)
 
wannabesize12 said:
Just watched it... It's good! More guts than me putting myself out there lol I thinks its a great idea though, lots will beable to relate to it. Keep us updated when you post each week. I'm interested to seeing it :)
Click to expand...

Haha thanks hon. It makes me cringe a bit to watch it back!! Makes me realise how big I am though cos my face looks huuuuge compared to what it's been in the past. I will keep y'all updated :)
 
That's brilliant Pops!! Keep it up! :D
 
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