From here to Eternally Slim
- Thread starter Eternalflame
- Start date
ronniejacobs
Gold Member
well done on your loss sweetie, EF i hope your evening is going ok?
Eternalflame
Excited about the new me!
Morning
Lenly.. well done on your loss honey.
What a night..he denied it up to the hilt.. until I showed him the mobile, then he got jumpy and tried to get it off me. Ended up admitting he'd been on there, said he was only window shopping!!!!! Said he'd been bored. His son had also seen him on there late at night and also at the weekends when I was working. So not only had I been cheated on, but his son had been keeping that secret as well. Said he'd not actually done anything or met anyone, but I wouldn't ever know that for sure.. So going to get a test today so that I at least know I haven't caught anything.
Need to now work out what I am going to do.. so will stay out of his way until he goes away to Korea for 2 weeks with work next Tues and it'll give me time to look into what my options are now. But now Im thinking that Im going to be here as a nanny and a cook to his son, while he is off doing whatever while he is away and with whoever.. and I'll never know for sure!!!
Went to the gym last night, met my friend for coffee first and we ended up sitting there talking and then not doing anything there..Because Im not feeling great about my job, after my nan dying, this has just toppled things off now.. have so much on my mind,so am going to ask for counselling at the docs, just to try and sort through all of this.
Right, off to get ready for work, WI is tonight, so will hopefully get some good news
.
xxxx
Lenly.. well done on your loss honey.
What a night..he denied it up to the hilt.. until I showed him the mobile, then he got jumpy and tried to get it off me. Ended up admitting he'd been on there, said he was only window shopping!!!!! Said he'd been bored. His son had also seen him on there late at night and also at the weekends when I was working. So not only had I been cheated on, but his son had been keeping that secret as well. Said he'd not actually done anything or met anyone, but I wouldn't ever know that for sure.. So going to get a test today so that I at least know I haven't caught anything.
Need to now work out what I am going to do.. so will stay out of his way until he goes away to Korea for 2 weeks with work next Tues and it'll give me time to look into what my options are now. But now Im thinking that Im going to be here as a nanny and a cook to his son, while he is off doing whatever while he is away and with whoever.. and I'll never know for sure!!!
Went to the gym last night, met my friend for coffee first and we ended up sitting there talking and then not doing anything there..Because Im not feeling great about my job, after my nan dying, this has just toppled things off now.. have so much on my mind,so am going to ask for counselling at the docs, just to try and sort through all of this.
Right, off to get ready for work, WI is tonight, so will hopefully get some good news
.xxxx
pesty
Fighting the bulge
Hey EF, Im glad you confronted him. We all expected he would deny it but you know the truth and even if he had only 'window shopped' in my eyes that's as good as cheating. If he is willing to look else where and someone showed interest then would he do it? If he's willing to go looking then judging from the men i know he would.
This has to be your decision hun, all i can offer is ((hugs))
Hasta, soz about the gain hun but well done on avoiding the sweet treats!! I hope you get the job, i would be incredably jealous - i love all that sort of thing (look at the diary, im currently doin a rollerskate bday cake)
Lenlu well done on the new shiney hun, well deserved!!
Im happy to report i only ate 4 triangles of sandwich as my HEB and no crisps and A LOT of fruit!!
This has to be your decision hun, all i can offer is ((hugs))
Hasta, soz about the gain hun but well done on avoiding the sweet treats!! I hope you get the job, i would be incredably jealous - i love all that sort of thing (look at the diary, im currently doin a rollerskate bday cake)
Lenlu well done on the new shiney hun, well deserved!!
Im happy to report i only ate 4 triangles of sandwich as my HEB and no crisps and A LOT of fruit!!
Eternalflame
Excited about the new me!
Im happy to report i only ate 4 triangles of sandwich as my HEB and no crisps and A LOT of fruit!!
Thanks Pesty and I knew you could do it
xxMadameLaMinx
Gold Member
Good Morning
(((Hugs))) EF. I guess he couldnt deny it with the evidence right in front of him - but there is a massive difference between looking and actually contacting. Not only that, hes colluding with a mate and also dragging his son into it. What a shining example of respect for a partner he is setting for his son.
Did he offer any sort of apology? Look remotely remorseful? Or did he really just not give a monkeys?
Far be it from me to tell you what to do now. But if it were me, I wouldnt be still there when he got back, and nor would some of his furniture.
You need proper professional advice. It might actually be in your interests however to get out now and find somewhere, ANYWHERE, other than there to live. Even if its a bedsit, or a friends couch. While you are still in employment you will find it much easier to get somewhere else to live and in the event of you being totally out of work, which I hope it doesnt come to but it is a possibility you have to consider, the benefits will be much more straightforward to obtain if you are already living elsewhere. If you move out and try to claim then, they may try and say you have made yourself intentionally homeless and refuse to pay. So go to the CAB and get some proper advice about what your options are. He has you over a barrel really, its his house, his stuff - despite all you have contributed to that household. You are entitled to nothing.
Equally however, you owe him nothing. He has treated you like a skivvy, occasionally throwing you crumbs of attention to make sure YOU dont look elsewhere, and has not at any point attempted to make you feel his equal.
If you stay, you are effectively giving him permission to continue to treat you like crap. And I think we all know that you deserve better than that.
So use this time wisely, and productively, but for the love of all that is holy, get out of this now, while you have two weeks breathing space to get yourself sorted.
(((Hugs))) EF. I guess he couldnt deny it with the evidence right in front of him - but there is a massive difference between looking and actually contacting. Not only that, hes colluding with a mate and also dragging his son into it. What a shining example of respect for a partner he is setting for his son.
Did he offer any sort of apology? Look remotely remorseful? Or did he really just not give a monkeys?
Far be it from me to tell you what to do now. But if it were me, I wouldnt be still there when he got back, and nor would some of his furniture.
You need proper professional advice. It might actually be in your interests however to get out now and find somewhere, ANYWHERE, other than there to live. Even if its a bedsit, or a friends couch. While you are still in employment you will find it much easier to get somewhere else to live and in the event of you being totally out of work, which I hope it doesnt come to but it is a possibility you have to consider, the benefits will be much more straightforward to obtain if you are already living elsewhere. If you move out and try to claim then, they may try and say you have made yourself intentionally homeless and refuse to pay. So go to the CAB and get some proper advice about what your options are. He has you over a barrel really, its his house, his stuff - despite all you have contributed to that household. You are entitled to nothing.
Equally however, you owe him nothing. He has treated you like a skivvy, occasionally throwing you crumbs of attention to make sure YOU dont look elsewhere, and has not at any point attempted to make you feel his equal.
If you stay, you are effectively giving him permission to continue to treat you like crap. And I think we all know that you deserve better than that.
So use this time wisely, and productively, but for the love of all that is holy, get out of this now, while you have two weeks breathing space to get yourself sorted.
hastalavegan
Silver Member
What a night..he denied it up to the hilt.. until I showed him the mobile, then he got jumpy and tried to get it off me. Ended up admitting he'd been on there, said he was only window shopping!!!!! Said he'd been bored. His son had also seen him on there late at night and also at the weekends when I was working. So not only had I been cheated on, but his son had been keeping that secret as well. Said he'd not actually done anything or met anyone, but I wouldn't ever know that for sure.. So going to get a test today so that I at least know I haven't caught anything.
Need to now work out what I am going to do.. so will stay out of his way until he goes away to Korea for 2 weeks with work next Tues and it'll give me time to look into what my options are now. But now Im thinking that Im going to be here as a nanny and a cook to his son, while he is off doing whatever while he is away and with whoever.. and I'll never know for sure!!!
Went to the gym last night, met my friend for coffee first and we ended up sitting there talking and then not doing anything there..Because Im not feeling great about my job, after my nan dying, this has just toppled things off now.. have so much on my mind,so am going to ask for counselling at the docs, just to try and sort through all of this.
Right, off to get ready for work, WI is tonight, so will hopefully get some good news
xxxx
((hugs))
Good luck with the test and getting counselling.
^This is great advice. I second moving out while he's away. Definitely best to move into a place before applying for any benefits, this way your council can't try and find a way to get out of paying what you're entitled to and once you've moved into a place you don't have tell the landlord that you're making a claim. Unfortunately when renting, housing benefit is generally frowned upon. I only got the place I'm in now by lying through my teeth and saying that my dad would be paying my rent, so bear that in mind. The CAB will be the best place for you at the moment.
Thanks! Ooh, I'll pop over and look. Here are the photos I sent in my application: Cupcakes! - a set on Flickr
constantlydizzy
Gold Member
Morning Everyone
EF I have to also say that I would use the time while he is away to move out......and MLM is quite right - I would definately be taking some of his furniture with me! If it was me I would be chopping his bollocks off before he went away tho.....oops sorry I slipped making dinner
At the end of the day I know he says he was just 'window shopping' but in my eyes thats as good as going in and getting the goods (and you only have the word of a lying scumbag that hes only looked) and Its just lucky that you found out now hun.
I know its your life & we can't tell you what to do....but we all care about you and this man has treat you appallingly over the last few months hun - you deserve so much more than this x x x
EF I have to also say that I would use the time while he is away to move out......and MLM is quite right - I would definately be taking some of his furniture with me!
If it was me I would be chopping his bollocks off before he went away tho.....oops sorry I slipped making dinner At the end of the day I know he says he was just 'window shopping' but in my eyes thats as good as going in and getting the goods (and you only have the word of a lying scumbag that hes only looked)
and Its just lucky that you found out now hun. I know its your life & we can't tell you what to do....but we all care about you and this man has treat you appallingly over the last few months hun - you deserve so much more than this x x x
MargyParker
My belly this will be!
@EF looks like you have to evaluate what you are getting from the relationship. Seems like he is a high earner and you will get residual benefits from that such as expensive holidays that you wouldn't get if you were living on the breadline.
Sooooo if you like the 'things' that come with the territory then use a condom when with him and suck it up - so to speak - not literally tho cos that may be dangerous.
Sooooo if you like the 'things' that come with the territory then use a condom when with him and suck it up - so to speak - not literally tho cos that may be dangerous.
Eternalflame
Excited about the new me!
Thanks Minxy,CD, Margy and Hasta.
I will be doing a lot of thinking now and while he is away. I know I need to have him out of the house and my life to do that and this time he is going away has come at the right time. If I choose to move out, I will make arrangements with him to give me some key money, plus enough money for a few months rent and furniture too..or I'll stay there and make his life hell, plus his family, friends and work will also find out what he does when he is "bored". If I stay, then it will have to be with the understanding that he must commit, but putting my name on the mortgage and helping me finacially espcially supporting my giving up my night job, so he can't keep holding over me that it is his house. I will then assess and bide my time, and the minute he puts a foot wrong I'll be out, and taking half of what he has.
I don't think i'll be unemployed as there is some posts that I have been asked to apply for within the council I work for. But for the next 2 weeks, I can at least find some tranquility with myself and think more about me and my options. Am off to the clinic tomorrow for tests so at least I can make sure I'm ok health wise!
I need some positve news tonight at WI, which will give me a boost. xx
I will be doing a lot of thinking now and while he is away. I know I need to have him out of the house and my life to do that and this time he is going away has come at the right time. If I choose to move out, I will make arrangements with him to give me some key money, plus enough money for a few months rent and furniture too..or I'll stay there and make his life hell, plus his family, friends and work will also find out what he does when he is "bored". If I stay, then it will have to be with the understanding that he must commit, but putting my name on the mortgage and helping me finacially espcially supporting my giving up my night job, so he can't keep holding over me that it is his house. I will then assess and bide my time, and the minute he puts a foot wrong I'll be out, and taking half of what he has.
I don't think i'll be unemployed as there is some posts that I have been asked to apply for within the council I work for. But for the next 2 weeks, I can at least find some tranquility with myself and think more about me and my options. Am off to the clinic tomorrow for tests so at least I can make sure I'm ok health wise!
I need some positve news tonight at WI, which will give me a boost. xx
constantlydizzy
Gold Member
good luck at WI tonight EF , hope the scales are kinder to you than theyre gonna be to naughty old me Im going to WI and come straight home as I dont want to miss another week.....Im heading down the slippery slope if I dont get back on track right now!!!!
Re the situation at home - whatever you choose to do....we're all here for you hun, and you have to do whats best for you at the end of the day, (different circumstances) but it took me 10 years to make the break from my ex despite all my friends and family giving me sound advice....I had to do things my way & in my own time so I knew what I was doing, just make sure you look out for number 1 from here on in x x x
, hope the scales are kinder to you than theyre gonna be to naughty old me Im going to WI and come straight home as I dont want to miss another week.....Im heading down the slippery slope if I dont get back on track right now!!!!Re the situation at home - whatever you choose to do....we're all here for you hun, and you have to do whats best for you at the end of the day, (different circumstances) but it took me 10 years to make the break from my ex despite all my friends and family giving me sound advice....I had to do things my way & in my own time so I knew what I was doing, just make sure you look out for number 1 from here on in x x x
Eternalflame
Excited about the new me!
Thanks CD and I will. I have been also thinking that I really need to think about my son is all of this and that he has been moved already in to this house, he is happy in the area and has now made friends. Uplifiting him again isn't what I want to do, however.. as long as its in the area, then I would move if I needed to for my own self respect, but also really need to make sure financially he will provide something to help that arrangement of my moving out. Which he would do, if he felt I was going to be making his life hell at home.. lol.. So a bit of food for thought, but at least it is out now and I can now think about my options while he is away.
CD, with you being so unwell this last week, is the last thing you think about re being on plan, and just eating to keep something down. Im sure next week will be your week with loosing for sure.
My work colleagues have been great too, so has my sister, and my mate yesterday at the gym (or coffee shop as we didn't make it into the gym, lol), and with all of you lovelies, I know I'll come through this. Just right now, I feel like I need a break from my life, somewhere to go and just be me.. with no hurt and just happieness and to heal.. does that sound silly?
xxx
CD, with you being so unwell this last week, is the last thing you think about re being on plan, and just eating to keep something down. Im sure next week will be your week with loosing for sure.
My work colleagues have been great too, so has my sister, and my mate yesterday at the gym (or coffee shop as we didn't make it into the gym, lol), and with all of you lovelies, I know I'll come through this. Just right now, I feel like I need a break from my life, somewhere to go and just be me.. with no hurt and just happieness and to heal.. does that sound silly?
xxx
MadameLaMinx
Gold Member
Not silly at all. We all get that way sometimes, that we want to run away and be someone else, live someone elses happier life, not have any stresses, just breathe.
I am sure you will work out what is right for you.
In other news... I put my before and afters up. NSFHE. (Not suitable for human eyes). They are in the inspirational photos bit.
I am sure you will work out what is right for you.
In other news... I put my before and afters up. NSFHE. (Not suitable for human eyes). They are in the inspirational photos bit.
EF, I hope you manage to get your head around it all. I know you will try and make the best decision you can under the circumstances for you and your son. All we can do is try and support you all the way.
Hasta I took a look at your cupcake photos, GOD THEY LOOK FANTASTIC!!!
I am currently wiping up the drool left by my son on my desk. He thinks they look YUMMYYYY!!! (he's reading this as I type) Are they all Vegan, if so have you posted the recipes anywhere? I sooo want to try making some of these when its nistissima around Easter.
Hasta I took a look at your cupcake photos, GOD THEY LOOK FANTASTIC!!!
I am currently wiping up the drool left by my son on my desk. He thinks they look YUMMYYYY!!! (he's reading this as I type) Are they all Vegan, if so have you posted the recipes anywhere? I sooo want to try making some of these when its nistissima around Easter. rosiepeace
Silver Member
EF - you're situation sounds horrible whatever way it goes - however I know you can do it, you are a strong lady and you will get through this. Just think long and hard about the whole thing and if he's going to give you money to move out make sure he gives you enough to pay for a few months before you move out as otherwise he might decide he's not going to pay anymore once he's got you out of the house. *hugs*
Hasta - your cupcakes look fab - very yummy.
Anyone who's weighed or yet to weigh good luck and congrats.
I've had little sleep since Sunday night - had an argument with OH
Monday night - son was up all night with a cold and being sick.
Tuesday night - son was up again being sick and OH was also up all night with the same thing.
Weds night - I was up with a really bad throat - sure sign of a cold
Thursday - I've been full of the cold/flu all day - even fell asleep on the sofa which is not like me at all! Everything hurts - if I'm still the same tomorrow will be a quick call to Dr's to make sure everything is ok - usually I just ride it through but was told when I had my flu vaccine it was best to get checked out. So Fingers crossed I sleep tonight and that everyone else sleeps tonight too!
Hasta - your cupcakes look fab - very yummy.
Anyone who's weighed or yet to weigh good luck and congrats.
I've had little sleep since Sunday night - had an argument with OH
Monday night - son was up all night with a cold and being sick.
Tuesday night - son was up again being sick and OH was also up all night with the same thing.
Weds night - I was up with a really bad throat - sure sign of a cold
Thursday - I've been full of the cold/flu all day - even fell asleep on the sofa which is not like me at all! Everything hurts - if I'm still the same tomorrow will be a quick call to Dr's to make sure everything is ok - usually I just ride it through but was told when I had my flu vaccine it was best to get checked out. So Fingers crossed I sleep tonight and that everyone else sleeps tonight too!
hastalavegan
Silver Member
Thanks Rosie, always great to hear feedback, hopefully I'll get an interview!
Aww thanks so much! Yes, they're all dairy free and a few are wholewheat too. I made chocolate, choco mint, peanut butter, banana with peanut filling and vanilla I'll probably be posting the recipes on my blog soon so I'll PM you when I've posted them
Hasta I took a look at your cupcake photos, GOD THEY LOOK FANTASTIC!!!
Aww thanks so much! Yes, they're all dairy free and a few are wholewheat too. I made chocolate, choco mint, peanut butter, banana with peanut filling and vanilla
I'll probably be posting the recipes on my blog soon so I'll PM you when I've posted them Similar threads
