From here to Eternally Slim

MLM Im so pleased & proud of you that you have bitten the bullet & and visited your GP, but what a shame he seems to have been less than helpful in the past :mad:

I hope you get your appointment soon-so you can start to get some real help before you slide any deeper 'to the dark place' ;)

We're all here for you....and if you ever fancy taking up driving - forget the porsche...theyre rubbish....you can take the wheel of the dizzy tank wagon to keep us all under control
smiley-transport011.gif

(and run over anyone who gets on ur nerves :D:D)
 
CD, its not just him, hes the least offensive of all of them, if I am honest. There are 4 in the practice, one I dont recognise the name of but I suspect is a woman one who was there before, took a sabbatical and perhaps got married again, I only think this because I have seen the sabbatical one at the shops local to there - and also another woman one, who was the REALLY not nice one (in fact, when I mentioned how she had been to the other GP, the one I saw today, he said (at the time) she must have been having an off day, maybe her husband gave her a bit of a smack before she came into work that day...). Then theres two blokes, the one I saw today, and one who is like a closed book.

Its a shame, because my friend who is a GP is an awesome doc, and once upon a time I also had an awesome doc, but she was a locum at another practice I was at before we moved and she was only there for a year. Shes the only one I have ever felt taken seriously by (other than my friend).

My friend thinks it is likely that they will try me on some mood stabiliser drug, and possibly in combination with some anti-depressants and CBT or counselling alongside. Hopefully the combination will be enough to tip the balance.
 
MLM I thought for one awful moment reading your post that you were going to finish by saying that he did nothing so I am glad you have been referred appropriately. Hope it doesn't take too long and also hope you have had a chat with your partner so that he knows when to get emergency treatment should the need arise. Mucho hugs old bean.

I hope this doesn't sound trite but you have had a strong focus for the last year. I did a lot of studying when I was in poor mental health and it really helps - so have you thought about some sort of education to occupy you mighty mind?

You sound really well balanced when you give advice to others here so how about the samaritans or rape crisis if you don't fancy study?If you do fancy study you could do a degree with the open university and if you are not v well off you could get help with funding so that you would pay virtually nothing for the course. Hope you don't mind my ramblings!
 
Well, in one of my more hyper stages, after having just given birth I paid for two long distance learning courses - yes, you have a three year old and a newborn, of COURSE you can do two a-levels at the same time.

Didnt work out so well.

I would love to do something like that, but when I am up I have the attention span of a goldfish with alzheimers and when I am down I have the ability to do anything at all of a dead sloth with rigor mortis. So I suspect that to get to the point where I could do something to completion and not mess it up for myself and fail and self-perpetuate the whole rubbish self-esteem thing, I need to be more stable and consistently so. If that makes sense.
 
MadameLaMinx said:
when I am up I have the attention span of a goldfish with alzheimers and when I am down I have the ability to do anything at all of a dead sloth with rigor mortis. So I suspect that to get to the point where I could do something to completion and not mess it up for myself and fail and self-perpetuate the whole rubbish self-esteem thing, I need to be more stable and consistently so. If that makes sense.
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Minxster, you make sense *nearly* all of the time.

I don't have your up & down swings, but I know all about the dead sloth with rigor mortis. And if anyone can sort something out to improve that, I'm all for it.

But just remember, you have lost a hell of a lot of weight this year, done it to completion and not failed...

I know that what you need is stability, but I hope you can give yourself credit for one pretty awesome achievement, at least.
 
Yer, but, no, but...

When I am on here, I am writing things down, which is kind of a progressive thing, and I find it easier to look at what I am going to say before I say it. I even do that to some degree with insta-chat.

When you put me in front of something stressful, like an idiotic GP, or a person of authority, I turn into a jelly-like mess who feels totally inadequate and a burden on society. Which makes me waffle. And go off in random directions, and end up not really saying what I mean.

So here, when I write things, I can write them and be logical and sensible and do the whole good advice thing. In my head, and in my own behaviour patterns, thats a much more challenging arena to try and work in. I *think* I am probably better at being in someone elses shoes than I am at being in my own. If that makes any sort of sense.
 
MadameLaMinx said:
I am probably better at being in someone elses shoes than I am at being in my own. If that makes any sort of sense.
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JimofTroy said:
Oh, it does.

.
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Eternalflame said:
.

Makes absolutely PERFECT sense to me and I would think every other person on here too. Life is just "****" at times!! xx
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Looks like thats four of us that think the same then :eek: I would be great in someone elses shoes! just can never sort my own shoes out :eek:

MLM I think you have had one hell of an amazing year with what you've achieved losing the weight hun, takes a strong determined woman to dig her heels in and do what you did ;)

BTW where do I go to find your before & after piccies please? im soooo rubbish finding my way round here still !!
 
HIya all - reporting here with a mega 1lb loss LOL - well its better than nothing I guess!!

MLM - I think your GP is totally unprofessional, like the only criteria for bipolar is buying a porsche!! Thats insane - tell him to check the criteria!! But hopefully you will now be seen by someone that knows what they are doing. I am a psychiatric nurse, have been qualified for 8 years now and can think of only a couple of people who have made mad purchases with bi polar!!

If you need any advice or opinion on anything let me know hun xx
 
I think the point he was trying to make is that I dont present with "extreme" behaviours. And to be fair, I have a friend who has very severe bipolar and I have seen her when she is manic and I wouldnt call what I experience anything like as extreme as that.

But compared to the down patches, it IS extremely different. At my "award-winning" practice, it seems that they just dont believe me, possibly because either the times I feel competent to go and try and explain are the points where I am in a lull of some sort. When I am up, I dont need to explain anything coz the world is fine and I am splendid and I can cope with ANYTHING, or the times when I am down, I dont go out of the house, I dont want to talk about it, I dont have anything good to say about myself and I certainly cant articulate the fact that I feel so dire because thats admitting that things are wrong and I have to protect that feeling of wrongness in case it affects other people, plus if I admit to being not right then I am not perfect and if I am not perfect then I am a failure because I need to be perfect to be a success.

So as I am not at either of those points when I rock up at the doctors, I probably DONT give a good account of what its really like. And the one time I did manage to get it all down in one place, by writing it, I was treated so badly and dismissively that it pretty much destroyed me ever wanting to try and do it again.

Apologies for the longest sentence in the world.

I am not suggesting for a second that I think I am bi-polar, in the severe sense, but I dont think anyone ever gets to see the severe sense because the very severe ups are infrequent and the downs are very prolonged, but sometimes more debilitating than others.

Im also pre-programmed to pretend everything is fine. Which probably doesnt help me effectively explain. But then when you are being blindsided by random Porsche purchasing comments its hard to think clearly...
 
MLM, you don't have to have very severe mania to have some form of bipolar, hypomania is the less manic phase which may still mean you have some form. To be fair though you have so much insight into your moods feelings and behaviours that it may not be diagnosed as such. Whatever it may be though your doing the best thing for you.

It might be beneficial to keep a diary, if you don't already and keep track of feelings and also things like amount of sleep, mood and energy levels. Also speak to people close to you, do they notice any difference in you? It might also be useful to have them go to the initial appointment with you if possible.

Whatever happens though remember we are all here for you and if you need anything from me or I can help in any way please just ask. You have helped me so much in the past x x

Hugs x x
 
Just re read and saw you tried in the past to write it down, and would really encourage you to try again, the team they refer you to will be so much more sensitive and knowledgeable than your gp x
 
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