Well I have to admit the weekend, well Saturday was quite harrowing really. My good mate looked literally a shadow of his former self - and in that typical laddish/blokie style (I'm too old to still call myself a lad) we both declared each other as "skinny *******" - the word bugger replacing a better word beginning with the same letter!
It upset me to have to pack his wheelchair in the car - though it wasn't needed. It upset me to have to walk so slowly and rest as he could not manage what we were doing just 9 short months ago.
I'd love to report he looked well but his optimism was admirable. He is not thinking worst case scenario. He knows they can't operate now but with chemo can keep things at bay! - he is making long-term plans and determined to get fitter and stronger.
His missus remarked we have lost 8.5 stone between us since summer! - in many ways I wish we were both two fat lads out in the fields having a laugh and calling into McD's or BK on the way home.
Sorry to sound negative, but it has made me more determined and despite his protestations of taking my time and me not wanting diesel money I'm going to take him out to watch birds until he is either confident enough to drive again or until he can't no more. Sadly, I'm getting used to this now.
To lighten the mood a little - I think it best - I've taken to watching the Biggest Loser and screaming at them - telling them what they ought to be doing lol.
Oh what I'd give to have it all on a plate like they have - I'd have killed for something like that, but am please once I realised it wasn't just going to happen, I decided to do it all for myself. - only slower and without Davina - oh and no £25,000 prize - but you get my meaning
Well it's been a funny old week, emotional and as usual on the eve of weigh-in I feel fatter and heavier! - bizarrely I also feel as though my clothes - especially the top half feel looser.
Tomorrow at long last I complete my gym induction! - once completed I can then start going to the gym. From this week i'm going to walk a mile each morning and 2 miiles after work each evening to really kick the body magic.
You'll find this hard to believe but I'm spending too much time on internet forums - and me with so little to say
Tonight I'm going to watch The Hangover for a bit of escapism - apprently the "kids" I work with reckon it's good. No, actually they reckon it is "proper cool"
Being a movie fan leaves me open to all sorts of junk lol.
Fingers crossed for WI tomorrow night.
Steve