funny, funny misused words.

My Nana used to always use the word 'doubt' to mean the exact opposite of what it means. She used to look outside on a cloudy day and say 'I doubt it'll rain' - meaning that she thought it was going to rain.

Growing up with that it took me quite a while to get to grips with the proper usage of that particular word!!
 
My partners nan was on about a relative telling everyone in the world their problems....'there she is blasting everything all over that facelift thing on the tele'

She was on about facebook!

Haha x
 
A neighbour who occasionally catches the same train as me always moans about it being "rampacked" meaning jampacked of course - it really winds me up. :eek:

The best though involved a secretary of mine many years back. The office had just introduced Word spellcheck and spelling never being her strong point she embraced it wholeheartedly. Except she never checked the word or context - she just clicked OK and assumed all was OK. One day I spotted a letter about to head off to a client called Mrs Virgina (let's say) Truebottom. She'd spellchecked it as usual and there it was...a letter addressed to Mrs Vagina Truebottom. :D:eek::D
 
My friend's husband has an odd way with words sometimes. Two of his classics are "hodgeheg" instead of hedgehog, and "holiceptor" instead of helicopter.
 
My ex MIL describes a boy in her street who is autistic and as acoustic lol.
 
And my darling deceased mum who collected Buddha's saw one in an antique shop window. Dad and I went in with her to ask about it.
We were met by a very posh gentleman sporting a goatee beard. He asked in a very upper class accent ( mum was from Lancashire ) if he could help us. I could see mum was a bit flustered. She put on her poshest accent and asked him " how much is the bugger you have in the window. All my bug*ers are such ugly bug*ers and that is such a nice one "
He was such a gent, he didn't even raise a smile he just brought it out for mum to see and dad bought it for her.
I inherited it and each time I dust it I think of my mum on that day.
 
Cheekypasterfield said:
When I was a child I used to get some of my words backwards. I used to say

key-car (car key),
door street (street door)
door front (front door)
coat house (house coat)

Haven't got a clue lol
Click to expand...


LOL, and mine were parcark - we didn't even have a car, so I don't know why I'd talk about a car park
and cidersophen instead of soda siphon!!!! remember the steel bottles with a pressurised gas bottle?? tee hee
 
Then there was my girlfriend who always insisted on ringing the hairdressers to book a blow job :eek:.
 
My aunt is english, but has lived in Germany for 40 years so she often gets confused with some english words. She was giving the family a little tour around her new village and proudly explained that the memorial stone we were looking at was to mark the spot where two british airmen had ejaculated from their planes. It was only a few minutes later when my mum and I couldn't stand for laughing that she realised she meant ejected!
 
Jennyonaplate said:
My aunt is english, but has lived in Germany for 40 years so she often gets confused with some english words. She was giving the family a little tour around her new village and proudly explained that the memorial stone we were looking at was to mark the spot where two british airmen had ejaculated from their planes. It was only a few minutes later when my mum and I couldn't stand for laughing that she realised she meant ejected!
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LOL !!!! The mind boggles.
 
OMG...just asked my daughter over dinner if she had sorted out her on line bonking...!!! :eek:
 
Debridger said:
LOL, and mine were parcark - we didn't even have a car, so I don't know why I'd talk about a car park
and cidersophen instead of soda siphon!!!! remember the steel bottles with a pressurised gas bottle?? tee hee
Click to expand...

I forgot park car was another one for me lol
 
When hubby and I were first dating we went for an indian meal - Ste asked for Pillow Rice with his meal rather than Pilau - Still 7 years down the line I wont let him forget it!!

The spell checking one reminds me of my faux pas at work one day - I was sending an e mail to the whole organisation, and merrily typed away, and pressed send - after I had spell checked - however as soon as the Assistant Chief recieved it, he phoned me asking if i meant to offer services to Dead People - I'd meant Deaf!!! ooops!
 
During a boardroom meeting a colleague was telling a story about a member of staff putting him on the spot.....he went on to say "I was like a rabbit caught at the traffic lights"!!!!

The room errupted in laughter and he had no idea what he'd said wrong! It brought me to tears! He always gets his sayings wrong but that's one he's never lived down x
 
skinnydawn said:
OMG...just asked my daughter over dinner if she had sorted out her on line bonking...!!! :eek:
Click to expand...


That is what you call an understanding mum lol !!!

I am laughing so much at all of them. What a brilliant way to start the day.
 
Kankles said:
During a boardroom meeting a colleague was telling a story about a member of staff putting him on the spot.....he went on to say "I was like a rabbit caught at the traffic lights"!!!!

The room errupted in laughter and he had no idea what he'd said wrong! It brought me to tears! He always gets his sayings wrong but that's one he's never lived down x
Click to expand...
Reminds me of a Russian lady I met at an antiques fair who said her stuff was "selling like hot dogs"
 
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