WARNING - LONG POST COMING UP
Awww thanks everyone. Sometimes I don't get here very often because I'm too busy. And sometimes I don't get here because I'm hiding.....................................and this week has been one of those so thanks for coming looking for me.
Work is actually ok but unfortunately SW isn't
. I gained on Sunday (which was fine and expected - 2 lbs and mostly from Saturday) however due to the anticipation of 3 meals out this week and holiday from next week, I did the totally stupid thing of trying to drown myself in junk food to pretend that it's not happening. I feel completely stuffed and just disappointed in myself. I've been eating rubbish and lots of it for the last 3 days. And I have just pretended it's not happening until I've come back here - and now I feel really stupid. I obviously find the week before a holiday and the anticipation of what might happen quite difficult so I'm going to have to try harder next time. However before that I need to try and get control of what I'm doing. I haven't really been on SW for the past few weeks - partly because work has been so busy but partly because I haven't been making the effort, but overall I've been somewhere vaguely in control.
So now what to do ? I have 4 days left with 2 meals out in that time. I know that I'm going to have a big gain so I just feel like 'oh well, might as well make the most of that' and yet deep down, I know that's not the right thing. I'm not eating much fruit and veg and it feels like the beginning of a slippery slope. Why do I do this to myself at these times ? At least if I was like that at the end of a holiday, you can see light at the end of the tunnel. I can't really see when I'll be able to get out of this one ???
So, I only have one choice. Tomorrow is a new day. The next few weeks are going to be difficult for me. The inevitable large gain is going to be hard to stomach (particularly this weeks BEFORE I go away) but most of my clothes don't have much space for me to gain (because I lost so quickly, I didn't buy much in the 18's) which is probably a good thing.
I've also been thinking about targets again and I think I might scrap my target and just aim to maintain for a little while. I've not really been going anywhere for a while so maybe it's time to take the 'heat' off for a bit. The maintaining will only be doing the same thing anyway so there probably isn't much difference and I think I've been in maintenance mode for a while anyway. However I want to maintain at the bottom of the 12's which is where I've been for a while, not the top of the 12's which I'll be when I get back. Exercise will help as well I think so I'll have to try to set myself some goals when I get back.
However to finish this on a plus note, I am going to book my holiday for next year this weekend and it's going to be good I think. Planning on going diving again (so will need to keep my weight off for fitness purposes as well as fitting into gear which I think will be a big incentive) and I'm really really looking forward to it (although with a bit of anxiety as well).
Thanks for being there for me. I'm sure I'll be fine so please don't lose any sleep over me (!), it just sometimes helps to get it off your chest.
Gail x