GemBritney LL Diary
- Thread starter Gembritney
- Start date
Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
That's absolutely amazing gem!!
Good grief, I hope I have the same will power as you to lose 5 stone. You're an inspiration
Xxxx
Good grief, I hope I have the same will power as you to lose 5 stone. You're an inspiration
Xxxx
Gembritney
Silver Member
thank you all sooo much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Swanseacity123
Full Member
FANTASTIC, well done you 
Claire_Williams
Full Member
Well done Gem, really is inspiring and certainly a motivator for me to do the same! xx
Gembritney
Silver Member
oh thanks claire!!!! and swansea!!! ur comments really make my day.. thanks xx
Gembritney
Silver Member
Week 18 day 4
I had my first lapse EVER in 18 weeks yesterday, it only lasted 2 hours.... im not gonna go into what i had..... but im back on plan today....
Anyone know if its possible to either weigh the same at my next WI or if i can shift the so called 3lbs i have gained??
Good news is im back on plan and putting yesterday behind me x
I had my first lapse EVER in 18 weeks yesterday, it only lasted 2 hours.... im not gonna go into what i had..... but im back on plan today....
Anyone know if its possible to either weigh the same at my next WI or if i can shift the so called 3lbs i have gained??
Good news is im back on plan and putting yesterday behind me x
Gembritney
Silver Member
I keep looking back on yesterday and feel awful.... should i do some exercise this week to help push it along or just stick to the packs??? any advice welcome x
Gembritney
Silver Member
Dear Body,
I'm sorry.
I have treated you like rubbish.
Your the one thing that i should have given 110% care and love you 24/7...But i let you down... you relied on me and i disappointed you.
I abused you and i feel constant guilt.
I looked after you relatively well up until my twenties when i began to neglect you. And up until that age i think i treeatd you fairly well and you were content.
You have always stuck by me 110% even through the health scares i put you through, when i used to drink to excess and eat myself into an oblivion, making ,myself ill inside and becoming un- co-ordinated, making every part of you have to work your damn hardest to rid of all those awful toxins and chemicals i was pouring into you.
I feel bad...'Im sorry.
You came through for me every time I used you as a dustbin..you mended me and i thank you eternally. And i know you gave me the warnings and cries for help that you so desperately needed.
You often set off a flutter of butterflies in my chest to show me that my heart was having to work so hard to pump the bloody around my big body.
You showed me that you couldn't carry all my weight up and down stairs, and that you really struggled with the load on your tiny 5'2 frame.
You felt breathless and hot and sweaty just by doing the simplest of things. You even made my back and ankles, arms and shoulders cry for help.. saying "im hurting, my little frame cant take all this weight Gemma, Please help these little joints from swelling any further."
You even communicated to me during my restless nights sleep by having me dream of myself suffocating. The alcohol just numbed me till i could not remember things you may have told me the night before, you felt like hell each day.
Even your little mind suffered... the effects of alcohol played havoc on my mind.... torturing thoughts and panic attacks. You were frightened and worried all the time....Im sorry i put you through that. I didn't seem to care so long as i could fill my body with my fix of booze and filthy foods, then after you came crashing down, feeling the after affects of yet another binge.
I ruined how you looked.. you looked horrible (I'm sorry but this letter is honesty and i have to tell you the truth) You were wide and blotchy, you had no neck and your back was fat, and could not see where the bottom began and back began, no wonder you tried to find ways of telling me you couldn't breathe or you felt poorly.
I didn't realize how amazing you really were, how you manage to restore and fix yourself every time i messed up, but i knew you could only do this for a certain amount of time.
You stuck by me, like a best friend i have never had.
Occasionally we fell out didn't we?... I suppose you showed your anger towards others, angry with me, by expressing it through my personality and actions.
Id be bitter and twisted, and hate the world, think everyone was against me, push the people i loved further away, this was you shouting out to anybody "help me, i cant carry on like this"
I couldn't even clothe you properly, you lived in male clothes and dark colours, elasticated waists... i know you hated this.
I suppose i tried to make things up to you, when on occasions you had tried to reach out to me and ask for help, this made me think for a short time..... so i would then walk you, feed you healthy and nourishing foods, do the odd diet for a couple of weeks maximum...But i always reverted back to my old habits...letting you down again.
The days i had off from drinking a bottle of wine, which was rare, i think you actually believed i was beginning to love you once again, as i wasn't poisoning you...You thought i was going to change and make us good again, friends. But i always let you down, you stood by me through thick and thin, you were so patient with me.
I think deep down you knew i would love you properly again...one day.....in my own time...when i was ready...before it was too late.
But it was your warning signs that saved me...YOU saved me. You are the only one thats going to be with me 24/7 and not hold a grudge.
I can honestly say I love you now, its taken a while but we got there.
I worship you, i now fill you with nourishment everyday.
I used to get excited about my next drink or meal....
Now i just get excited about loving you the best way that i can....
Lets be friends....
Gem britney xx
I'm sorry.
I have treated you like rubbish.
Your the one thing that i should have given 110% care and love you 24/7...But i let you down... you relied on me and i disappointed you.
I abused you and i feel constant guilt.
I looked after you relatively well up until my twenties when i began to neglect you. And up until that age i think i treeatd you fairly well and you were content.
You have always stuck by me 110% even through the health scares i put you through, when i used to drink to excess and eat myself into an oblivion, making ,myself ill inside and becoming un- co-ordinated, making every part of you have to work your damn hardest to rid of all those awful toxins and chemicals i was pouring into you.
I feel bad...'Im sorry.
You came through for me every time I used you as a dustbin..you mended me and i thank you eternally. And i know you gave me the warnings and cries for help that you so desperately needed.
You often set off a flutter of butterflies in my chest to show me that my heart was having to work so hard to pump the bloody around my big body.
You showed me that you couldn't carry all my weight up and down stairs, and that you really struggled with the load on your tiny 5'2 frame.
You felt breathless and hot and sweaty just by doing the simplest of things. You even made my back and ankles, arms and shoulders cry for help.. saying "im hurting, my little frame cant take all this weight Gemma, Please help these little joints from swelling any further."
You even communicated to me during my restless nights sleep by having me dream of myself suffocating. The alcohol just numbed me till i could not remember things you may have told me the night before, you felt like hell each day.
Even your little mind suffered... the effects of alcohol played havoc on my mind.... torturing thoughts and panic attacks. You were frightened and worried all the time....Im sorry i put you through that. I didn't seem to care so long as i could fill my body with my fix of booze and filthy foods, then after you came crashing down, feeling the after affects of yet another binge.
I ruined how you looked.. you looked horrible (I'm sorry but this letter is honesty and i have to tell you the truth) You were wide and blotchy, you had no neck and your back was fat, and could not see where the bottom began and back began, no wonder you tried to find ways of telling me you couldn't breathe or you felt poorly.
I didn't realize how amazing you really were, how you manage to restore and fix yourself every time i messed up, but i knew you could only do this for a certain amount of time.
You stuck by me, like a best friend i have never had.
Occasionally we fell out didn't we?... I suppose you showed your anger towards others, angry with me, by expressing it through my personality and actions.
Id be bitter and twisted, and hate the world, think everyone was against me, push the people i loved further away, this was you shouting out to anybody "help me, i cant carry on like this"
I couldn't even clothe you properly, you lived in male clothes and dark colours, elasticated waists... i know you hated this.
I suppose i tried to make things up to you, when on occasions you had tried to reach out to me and ask for help, this made me think for a short time..... so i would then walk you, feed you healthy and nourishing foods, do the odd diet for a couple of weeks maximum...But i always reverted back to my old habits...letting you down again.
The days i had off from drinking a bottle of wine, which was rare, i think you actually believed i was beginning to love you once again, as i wasn't poisoning you...You thought i was going to change and make us good again, friends. But i always let you down, you stood by me through thick and thin, you were so patient with me.
I think deep down you knew i would love you properly again...one day.....in my own time...when i was ready...before it was too late.
But it was your warning signs that saved me...YOU saved me. You are the only one thats going to be with me 24/7 and not hold a grudge.
I can honestly say I love you now, its taken a while but we got there.
I worship you, i now fill you with nourishment everyday.
I used to get excited about my next drink or meal....
Now i just get excited about loving you the best way that i can....
Lets be friends....
Gem britney xx
LadyT
Tough But Sexy X
Omg Gem, I feel so emotional reading your letter! You are so amazing to share that on here and I believe every word you wrote! I suspect you posted it today because of your blip, listen you have no need to feel guilty, we are all human and will all face challenges with food long after LL has gone. I totally believe you will reach your goal and maintain.
Thank you so much got sharing your letter!!
As for what should you do as a form of compensation due to the blip. It's a difficult one to call not knowing what it was you had, not expecting you to share that, but I think what you should do is think about it logically. Will it have taken you out of ketosis, if so I might be inclined to do a little exercise. If not then I probably wouldn't and set my sights on a smaller loss this week hun.
Xxxxxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Thank you so much got sharing your letter!!
As for what should you do as a form of compensation due to the blip. It's a difficult one to call not knowing what it was you had, not expecting you to share that, but I think what you should do is think about it logically. Will it have taken you out of ketosis, if so I might be inclined to do a little exercise. If not then I probably wouldn't and set my sights on a smaller loss this week hun.
Xxxxxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Gembritney
Silver Member
thanks for reading my letter and im glad it was of use to you and hopefully others.. i wrote it a while ago, i think i told you that i ahd drafted one up.
Yea out of ketosis.... so u think maybe exercise will help? walking? x
Yea out of ketosis....
so u think maybe exercise will help? walking? x
Gembritney
Silver Member
gonna go on cross trainer xx
Swanseacity123
Full Member
Very emotive letter Gem! We are who we are faults and lapses and all-it doesn't mean we are we only human! Keep at it and don't beat yourself up too much, you have come so far and people like me who are in the early stages admire that!
Have a lovely evening
Have a lovely evening
Gembritney
Silver Member
thanks swansea.... i want to be a role model to u all but i feel peed off with myself i have had an error.... hope i havent disappointed people.
Gembritney
Silver Member
UPDATE!
been for a long cycle and now gonna go on the cross trainer for 10 mins... followed by a short walk with josh.... fingers crossed this all helps with WI! x
been for a long cycle and now gonna go on the cross trainer for 10 mins... followed by a short walk with josh.... fingers crossed this all helps with WI! x
