Gemma's journey to management

[Gemma79]

hey guys still here - week 5 now. Having lots of good days and some bad moments, but learning as I go. LLC was ace yesterday and helped me feel better, told me I am doing really well. I also had a bit of a light bulb moment this week, when I was growing up I was thought the analogy that cleanliness is something we will never achieve, but should always strive for it. It's the same with this eating stuff, I will never get perfect eating, but I will always strive for it.

Put on another 1lb, that's OK though. Feeling like I am learning and progress. Hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday x

 

[Minerva]

That 1lb is only water weight my dear - you have to remember about 7lbs of our 'weight' isn't fat at all - but essential energy we NEED to live normally. Without it we go lethargic, and 'fuzzy'. So do not worry.

You are doing brilliantly. This is all trial-and-error at the moment, the key lesson is never to give up, and identify the problem before it gets too hard to solve. I am working through my own bingeing issues at the moment, and two weeks ago I was definitely in a very bad place. Working through it systematically, solving the issues in a rational manner and trying to understand why it's happening has helped immensely and I can see an end to this 'phase' now.

All I can suggest to you is don't deny the problem. If you have slip-ups, don't beat yourself up about them, but try to understand them and work out ways to stop them from happening again. If we understand the cause, and poison the 'root' - the plant will never go into gestation and never sow seeds to multiply into bigger and more numerous issues...
Hmm.

 

[Gemma79]

so week 6 is here! The time has passed so fast. Had class last night, another 1lb on.. that's 5 now and scareingly close to the 7lb mark. Not really sure how much 'control' I have over these gains while in rtm so not overly worried and will face the gain once completed rtm. Feeling fairly good, still got lots to learn and it's amazing how fast old habits creep back in! However I am aware of the things I am doing which I would do before without thinking, I am putting into practice some of the techniques I have learnt. They work sometimes, but not all the time. I am learning not to beat myself up over them though, as this is a process. I was overweight for 16 years, it's unrealistic to think in 6 weeks I can change the habits of a lifetime... but each day I am refocusing, no hiding, face everything and recover!

Love my food choices, quite happy without pasta, potato's, bread etc, infact quite worried about bringing them in a few weeks, love sweet potato and butternut squash wedges, they are really satisfying. I love how my taste buds have changed and that I have eaten out twice and both times had a salad and not felt 1 bit deprived.

Onwards and upwards, feeling good, life is good.

 

[Minerva]

Love my food choices, quite happy without pasta, potato's, bread etc, infact quite worried about bringing them in a few weeks, love sweet potato and butternut squash wedges, they are really satisfying. I love how my taste buds have changed and that I have eaten out twice and both times had a salad and not felt 1 bit deprived.

I'm glad you're feeling very positive, it's a great feeling! When you are feeling good - choices become easier for sure.

As for teh carbs - if you don't feel ready/dont' want to reintroduce them... then don't. I didn't introduce them in RTM until I was ready (which was 3-4 months after I finished!!) - and even then - I actually discovered I don't like pasta anymore. It makes me feel bloated and lethargic. (and I used to LIVE ON THE STUFF!)... I find potatoes aren't very exciting either... I still occasionally have some rice and some speciality bread... But - when I did RTM first time (I've done it twice ) - reintroduction of carbs led to bad places. Gradually portions became bigger and bigger and soon it was a NECESSITY to have them with EVERY meal. ... It's quite a slippery slope to be honest.

All the best, keep having fun and experimenting with all the different spectrums of the food rainbow!! <3

 

[Gemma79]

I knew this would be hard.. but it's soooooooo hard. Can't believe how easily old habits creep back in and new good ones leave (water!). Easter has not helped.. temptation everywhere and unfortunately I have given in on a few occasions. I've not massively indulged, but did eat around 450 cals worth of choc yesterday and it was not what my body wanted or needed! Another lesson... another day.

So today trying to regain control again, back to NO SNACKING - I really need to follow this as I find that whenever I am in the kitchen I am looking around for what I can eat. I'm not hungry, and it doesn't really matter what I have, a few grapes, an Orange, a tomato. The point is I know this is not healthy and I need to stop. So day 1, no snacking. Had my porridge pack this morning + 1 pear and some apple + raisin compote, yum! Class tonight.. always look forward to that and learning more.

 

[thin_inside]

Gemma

It is soooo hard. I have learned many lessons in the past few months. It is very very hard to change old habits. I can though and am NOT giving up.

You can do this. Stick with it and you will achieve long term success. xx

 

[peony]

You ain't wrong honey - this is the hardest thing ever! I 'knew' it would be tough but was way underprepared mentally. I thought it would be relatively easy -that having a little bit of food would be so wonderful in comparison to 100% abstinence - how very very naive of me!

Keep it up honey, we CAN do this!

I know what you are going through (well as far as the food goes lol)

xxxx

 

[Gemma79]

thanks peony and TI, I'm here still struggling through. Put on 5lb so far, and stayed the same last week. Got class tonight and really hope I have stayed the same, but if not will face it and recover!

This is really hard, but I know with practice it will get easier. I keep eating when I am not hungry, keep eating for every reason except hunger. Ahh abstinence was so much easier! But I don't wan to bury my head in the sand, I want to face this and learn and I hope that it what I am doing.. post more after WI!

 

[Looby Lew]

Hi Gemma
I have the same 'snacking' issue ...hopefully we can both kick the habit - it's difficult though but we certainly didn't go through all that abstinence to undo it . Keep at it Gemma - you can do it
L

 

[peony]

How did it go at class honey?
Xxx

 

[daisydoll]

hi gemma
how are you getting on?
i'm exactly the same - always on the prowl for something to eat.

i end up snacking - usually on healthy stuff - then not eating proper meals.

my metabolism is all over the place and i've steadily put on 1.5lb a week so i'm now 16lb heavier than where i want to be.

its not easy!

i hope your weigh in went ok

daisy x

 

[Gemma79]

well WI was a moment I was dreading.. hit my 7lb safety mark. Really been upset by that and also feel this horrible sense of no control as I knew when I started RTM I would put on weight, but I hoped I would lose some first, that didn't happen! Now I'm stuck at 7lbs on and feel that I can't change it until I have completed RTM. This hasn't meant that I have rushed off and eaten everything in sight, but it's fair to say I am struggling. I brought a big chocolate bar and ate half of it before being so disgusted in myself that I threw it away. I have moments when I feel in control, and others when I feel I have none. I'm not giving up though, no way, no how. I will learn how to live slim, and know this can take years to master. I will get there! I need to work harder and focus more, so hard to do when you are having to make food choices each day along with living your normal life. I guess no-one said this would be easy.. but it is worth it, I am worth it. Never give up people!

 

[Minerva]

Weight gain is normal during RTM - to be honest, not everyone is the same, not all people lose weight there. I never lost any weight during the process...
7lbs is normal - it's water weight. You have to remember it WILL NOT BE FAT ok? You need to OVEREAT 3'500 calories to gain ONE lb. That's ON TOP of your estimated 1700-2000 per day normal intake (or what it should be at the end of RTM).

DO NOT PANIC. DON'T MAKE ME SLAP YOU WOMAN!!!

/slap

I find it helps me to calorie count. That way I know I'm in control of SOMETHING. That way I KNOW I haven't over done it. Your body is in a very fragile place right now - such low calorie intakes have meant that your metabolism will have slowed down. Be patient with it. While it readjusts it may grab at any energy, any calories to 'store' it. Don't panic. Healthy eating after RTM will easily get the few lbs off as your body readjusts to normal food intake again.

The key is patience. You have the rest of your life to play around - what is a few lbs? It's not worth sabotaging your whole success over. Calm. Blue. Ocean. ... Breathe.

 

[peony]

I have moments when I feel in control, and others when I feel I have none. I'm not giving up though, no way, no how. I will learn how to live slim

I am living this too Gemma, just want you to know you aren't alone honey.

so hard to do when you are having to make food choices each day along with living your normal life.

Again, I really know where you are coming from, my whole life just feels like it is thinking about what I can and can't eat, it is exhausting next to day to day living.

Your body is in a very fragile place right now - such low calorie intakes have meant that your metabolism will have slowed down. Be patient with it. While it readjusts it may grab at any energy, any calories to 'store' it. Don't panic. Healthy eating after RTM will easily get the few lbs off as your body readjusts to normal food intake again.

The key is patience.

Minerva, it is so helpful to read your replies, I am so struggling mentally with increasing my food intake as despite knowing that I need to slowly increase both cals and exercise, to boost my metabolism, my brain is in denial and I am too scared to increase the cals.

I feel like I know a little bit, but in not enough depth to jump in and trust it to hold me - am I making sense?

Gemma, how many weeks in are you now honey? What is a typical day's food for you? Good luck with the rest of RTM

xxx

 

[Minerva]

I am so struggling mentally with increasing my food intake as despite knowing that I need to slowly increase both cals and exercise, to boost my metabolism, my brain is in denial and I am too scared to increase the cals.

I feel like I know a little bit, but in not enough depth to jump in and trust it to hold me - am I making sense?

I know where you are coming from with the increasing of calories... I went too far with the obsessive calorie counting last year after LL (finished RTM in June). I was petrified of food. Absolutely. All the way until about February this year. I lost 2 and a half stone because of this. And ... the way it was for me at the lowest, I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I learnt the most that patience is what is needed. Food will NOT kill you. We store calories on a long-term type of system. We do not gain or lose FAT on a DAILY basis. It's an overspill of glycogen, stored 'energy' in our muscles and liver. And it's quite a large "cupboard". An excess today will be balanced out by a small definiency tomorrow (and so on), for a 'net' total on a weekly, monthy, yearly basis.

Rememeber if we were to sleep all day and not move - we would still need about 1200 calories to stay at the weight we are at! Does that put it into a little more of a perspective?

The point is, however... That you musn't be scared ... And the only way to truly know yourself is to try new things. If something gets out of hand, takethe control back and reassess what went wrong. I keep doing this with myself, and these last two months have been an interesting experience. Very bad places I've been, but now I know what to stay away from and what is best for me. We learn from our mistakes... and most mistakes can be fixed with some time, patience and belief in yourself.

x

 

[Looby Lew]

such wise words Minerva !
Gemma how are you doing this week ? - such a simple thing but I find the sunnier weather really helps me out. Not sure whether I'm just busier and more active or what but who cares if it makes it a bit easier to make good food choices

 

[Jezebella]

The warm weather really does help, I am more inclined to eat lightly.. winter and the cold makes me want heavier more comforting foods. I think it is a pretty normal state of being on some sub conscious level. But yes more energy and better food choices!!

Yay for summer!!

Jez
xx

 

[Gemma79]

hi guys, still here! Not been to class for 2 weeks as life been so hectic, but also think I am trying to bury my head in the sand! I will be going to class on Monday to see how I'm doing. Think I have put on 7-9lbs now and hate it. I have finished RTM now but can't seem to follow any eating plans. I am good at planning what to do, it's the doing part I struggle with! Oh well... today is another day and today I will write down all I eat on my nutritional chart.

Hope you are all well... this is so bloody hard!

 

[slendablenda]

Hi Gemma
Stick with it. Yes, maintenance is the hardest part. Abstinence is so much easier.
Most of us are all or nothing people otherwise we wouldn't be here.
Learning the control is the hardest part.
I have found that continuing going to class weekly, discussions with others and LLC really help keep me focused.
When I'm tempted back to my old habits I remind myself of all the positive changes and how my life was before.
It usually works, but I'm no saint.
Good luck. i'm sure you'll do it.