Gemma's new start - to a whole new me :D

[gemma_]

Gemma's Diary

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Hi, I'm Gemma! i'm 26 and engaged to Ben and have 2 amazing children so hi! *waves*
stats :
height: 5ft 2
weight: start 14st 4lb current 13st 3 1/2lb
size: tight 18


How I got here....
Well... I've never been skinny but you know how it is, meet a guy have kids get settled and relaxed and start gaining weight *sigh* :cry:
I did start off at around size 12 back then was unhappy (oh how i wish i was that 'fat' again ) then I became pregnant and i really did eat for 2.. maybe 3.... what the heck I could had been eating for sextruplets! so that's when size 12 Gemma became size 18 Gemma! On my 2nd pregnancy I became quite poorly and lost alot of weigh and got to a size 12 maternity again, however when my daughter arrived I binged on chocolate through out the day, Loved getting takeaways and when I cook i love my big meals! (my partner works daft shifts so sometimes was eating 10pm at night after already having a normal meal just because I could) so gradually I became size 18/20.
My first diet (2010) (slimming world) It's an amazing diet don't get me wrong but it just wasn't for me, I did lose 2 stone in 6 months (see my profile pictures for the results), but my weigh in treat night became a saturday treat night a friday night treat and eventually was back to same old me!
This time... I went on holiday and the pictures was disgusting all my clothes were tights even my bra was tight and there size 18 clothes I just felt at that moment digging a hole and hiding - so many questions why was my partner still with me? how could he love THAT? etc... and running to the sea with my children left me tired, I don't want to be the tired fat mum anymore! I want to teach them confidence and happiness and a healthy life style.
What I want to get from this.. Happiness... I'm never going to be a size 10 bikini babe - with stretch marks etc I just want feel confident with clothes, shop in 'normal' shops, walking past a shop window and not feeling scared walking in and seeing if they got my size, running with children and being healthy and finally walking down the aisle and feeling like a deserve to be my fiance's wife! yes he loves me but with my insecurities with my weight there's holds on things.

So If you got to here and read it all without falling asleep Thankyou an I hope we can hep eachother on our joureys or be someones inspiration and I'm going make mistakes and would love tips and advice!


TTFN x

 

[gemma_]

The last 4 weeks...
So as I've started my diary 4 weeks in i'd thought i'd update you all with my last 4 weeks of calorie counting, I havn't been perfect to say the least (to see last 4 weeks please feel free look at my mfp, if you not got it and still interested i'll send you a diary of everything i've eaten so far) well as i said not been perfect I have literally JUST been calorie counting I eat as healthy as I can at this point, my food addiction was just than an addiction! i'm trying to cut down from the junk slowly 1, because I don't want to fail 2, I have that extra to work harder to get the last stone off when I get there. The last 4 weeks for me as been to see what I can resist, make the right choices - I have had a kfc but instead of the big daddy box meal made large full fat coke etc I had a chicken wrap small chips and a diet - yes I could had chose better but at that point if I had said no I think I would had thought 'I can't do this' as I say it's a whole working progress with me, portion size and removing me from my addictions slowly. When I seen I had lost the 1 stone in 4 weeks I weighed myself everyday for 3 days to make sure It was right. No I don't feel slimmer YET but in 4 weeks i'm already a stone lighter which is a huge accomplishment for me and no amount of junk food and big meals made me feel like that in that moment. I'm really starting to feel 'I CAN DO THIS' By next august I can really be 5 stone lighter - thats like losing the weight of my 6 year old + more thats ALOT of weight... I can't wait to see my body change.

 

[oasis6918]

Congratulations hun! Well done. It's amazing peoples weight and clothes size, I'm 17.3 and I'm a size 18 after pregnancy. Some of my size 16 clothes still fit, I'm always really heavy compared to my clothes size too. Keep up the good work your doing great x

 

[gemma_]

I'm 5ft 2 so always think smaller cant carry weight aswell as someone taller.
also mine mainly my tummy and hips literally clothes are a nightmere as clothes that fit my waist hang off my bum and legs.
hopefully they'll even themselfs out LOL.

Thankyou and good luck with your own journey x

 

[BerryBerry]

Hi Gemma

Welcome- I like your detailed diary posts Good luck with CC!!