Getting back on track.. JaneN's Diary

[JaneN]

After struggling for most of this year I am trying to get my head back to 2011 and lose some of the weight I've gained.

I'm up 14lb since Summer 2011 and 7lb since Easter.

Accountability is important and whilst I am not beating myself up about the gains I do want to stop them in their tracks and travel in the opposite direction.

PMDD - Premenstrual Disphoria Disorder. I am fully diagnosed after problems the last 18 months and a particularly bad time since February.

I am suffering 2 weeks a month from deep depression, unable to function in normal life, do the normal things etc. Tears, misery, lack of belief in myself and that whole jackal and hyde symptoms. But.. moving forward I'm talking to my GP, student counsellor at Uni and am on Anti-depressants for the last month. Fingers x'd they do their job. I do get some nausea and hypersomnia (sleepiness) at times but the later could be PMDD related.

So, back to weight loss efforts. I can't use my previous methods of VLCD's so I'm looking at a similar thing in replacing SOME of my meals with shakes and bars but eating a good meal - similar to slimfast. I do think slimfast has too much sugar in their products and know that sports bars etc have less sugar and more protein so will use a mixture of products. I am a sucker for puddings - so will incorporate these some days. I am trying to lose whilst not depriving myself.

So, this is my diary.

Day one (yesterday) went well,
banana, slimfast, sweet and sour veggies with noodles (small amount) and rice pudding.

Exercise - I ride my horse when my mind is up for it that is. This will keep me busy as Uni has finished for summer. On days I can't ride I try and keep generally active but I need to start using my exercise bike, dumbbells and 30 Day Shred again.

Goal - I have set this at 11st I'll still be overweight but felt wonderful around 11st. I'm currently in the 13 stone range but was in the 12's last year so plan is to get back there ASAP. I try not to be too obsessed with weight but I do have to keep my eye on it to stop myself gaining badly. I've been 17st at my heaviest when I didn't watch my weight at all for years. I never want to go back and have been down from there for 7 years now.

 

[JaneN]

Day 2 back at minimins, down 1.5lb today so that's good news. Still feeling really down today but keeping my head in the game of not eating rubbish. Not eating much today but not hungry. Got to remember to keep drinking.
joined a christmas challenge to try and keep myself on track. Also aiming for 5x30 mins of exercise a week. just to get me back to regular exercise rather than just when I can work out hard with my horse.

 

[JaneN]

Feeling brighter today. Ovulation past thankfully.
Took my horse to the yard today to have the farrier trim his feet.. it was chucking down so we got drenched but managed to stay positive about it and have fun in the puddles and ignored the wind well. lol 1 hour walking in total was good exercise.

Also managed 10 mins on my exercise bike last night, was tired so that was pretty good going and good resistance level on it and speed so happy.

Small steps but positive ones, hoping to ride tomorrow if it stops raining

Weight dropped too - 1.5lb so brings me to 4lb this week!

 

[JaneN]

Wasn't great over weekend but am the same weight so not so bad.

Back on track today, using slimfast and maximuscle protein bar for meal replacements when I need them.

Mood wise I'm not in too bad a place premenstrual week coming up but feel fine now and just generally a little tired around lunchtime. Been busy drawing and working on shading techniques. I'm new to learning to draw but am enjoying the challenge and use of colours is my favourite bit at the moment. I like Mandala art and symmetry but also enjoying freehand drawing but very basic stuff at the moment.

Girls back in school today so getting back to toilet training youngest, she does well in the week but we put her in pullups while she was playing around the house with her sisters but it's made her lazy so not using them today to get her thinking about it all again. lol

Big music festival on near my pony and horse yard this week so no riding for me, but will be back to it next week. Been busy gardening Saturday and pottering in the garden yesterday. Really enjoying seeing it better for my efforts and veggies growing well so far. Have peas, french beans, courgettes, beetroot, parsnips, potatoes, strawberries and sweetcorn growing at the moment.

 

[JaneN]

Good day eating wise yesterday Felt sick a few times though but ignored it and all ok.

Down 1lb today to 184.5 4.5 to go in June if I can make that I'll be super happy but either way I'm going down again and that feels great.

First date night since we moved to Wales and away from family / friends. It's been just over 5 years.. the thought of no kids at all, just hubby and I! baby is 2 and a half now and we've decided tonight is the night she has her first baby sitter . Feels good and am quite excited. It's only a trial night for us to go out for a couple of hours but will be good.

Day 21 of my cycle - hoping for a better PMDD month this month so we'll see the next week will tell. Bit anxious thinking about it but keeping going it's all you can do eh!

 

[JaneN]

Still ticking along... down to 13st 1lb so thats great news 3 more lbs to hit my June goal and it's only the 15th.

PMDD has hit leaving me ultra tired the last few days but off for another sitting on my half sleeve tattoo today, should be (fingers x'd) the penultimate sitting. Will feel strange in some ways but my arm is 'feeling' finished so it'll be nice to get the background in.

Went to see Buddy Holly local theatre show (music rather than the story) last night. Great band.