Gizmo's diary

[_Gizmo_]

Well, I had a few bad weeks. Put a bit back on, now I'm 13st 10lbs. Been concentrating more on fundraising than dieting/exercise. I'm hoping to get a bit more of a balence between everything now. Set up my blog to help motivate me as well as my twitter. Had a great workout at the gym today and last week I had my measurements taken. Over the last 5 weeks (from last monday) I have lost 5 inches off my body, including 8cm off my legs! Amazing considering I actually put on weight! lol But I guess thats probably some muscle which is awesome. Need them to be able to do the trek!

Fundraising is both easier and more difficult than I thought. Confusing but it's true! lol Got £504 in sponsors/donations so far. Just sent off loads of letters and i'm now sorting out a tea party/open day for the 9th April. will see how well that goes, then maybe organise a bigger event for June/July If anyone would like to sponsor me, please do. My online giving page link is in my sig

Just started watching lost from the beginning again. Doesn't have the same effect anymore since I know what happens next lol. Oh well, get to watch yummy Sawyer hehe!

 

[_Gizmo_]

Been ages since I've been on here!

Managed to put on weight, thanks to comfort eating and had a bad couple of months. Been feeling really depressed, it's been stupid. Been feeling great for one min then crying for no reason. So many ups and downs, and I just feel like it's getting worse. Even though i'm finally feeling positive about the future again. I've made a doctors appointment a week on tues, and i'm trying to help myself as much as I can. Managed to get myself to the gym today which I haven't done for over a month. It made me feel so relaxed. I'm just trying to cut out all unnecessary stresses.

My fundraising is going ok, got over £700 now. Still a long way to go but i'll get there somehow. This trek is the most positive thing in my life atm. Can't wait to go to Borneo and helping animals at the same time is awesome.

I'm thinking a career change would help me, as I don't want to do vet nursing forever. I want to go into animal training and possibly open my own animal training and care business. It's a long way off but just a change of job atm would be good for me. I believe it's one of the big things affecting how i've been feeling, and i've been feeling this way for well over a year.

But for now i'm going to concentrate on making myself feel better and getting back on track with my weight loss

 

[_Gizmo_]

Argh, just devoured 6 creme eggs! >_< Was supposed to be saving them but oh well, it's done now I guess.

Finished reading 'Game of Thrones'. Soooooo good! Will be really interesting to see how they do everything in the TV series! Now just got to wait for the second book to be delivered, I wanna get reading it now lol

I find it really hard to get into books, but when I do I seem to read them really quickly. So relaxing to just sit and read a good book. I love anything fantasy. Loved 'The Night Watch' trilogy, which is the same as the russian films (the books are waaay better), I can't remember how to spell the authors name lol. I'm thinking of investing in a kindle, since I have a lack of space for any books and with going away to Borneo in October it will be useful!

Hoping the weather will be nice tomorrow, as I want to walk to work. Saves petrol and helps me lose weight! lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

Eeek, less than 15 weeks until I head out to trek through the jungle in Borneo! Feel really nervous, but excited as well. I love going out for random walks to get ready for it, especially through the wooded areas. I still feel so unprepared for it though.

Need to re-weigh myself, as I haven't for a while! Then get on with losing more weight and getting sorted for 5 days of trekking! This is the motivation I needed! lol

 

[Pink!]

Hahaha that's some kind of motivation! Crikey!
Hope everything goes well

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thanks, just been to sort out the vaccinations today, so expensive!! and i need rabies lol in total i think i need 7 injections, i can handle tattoos, but the thought of being injected freaks me out, even though they aren't that bad when I actually get them done...

Going to try to weigh myself tomorrow. I need an idea of how things are going, i've put back on weight I know. Stupid depression... Life's been going better lately, so don't feel as though I need to eat all the time. feel more motivate to get out and walk now. I fly out to Borneo on the 1st october, so really isn't that far away!

For now, im just going to read some more of my book and try to get an earlyish night...

 

[_Gizmo_]

Borneo is getting so close it's scary. Now only have to have 2 injections on the 9th of August, then thats the vacc done. Still need to sort out malaria tablets. I have a bruise from where I had the 2nd rabies jab I know the flight times now so not much more to sort out apart from getting ready for trekking.

My shifts have changed at work, instead of working 1 6 hour day then 3 10 hour days and finally a 4 hour day, it's all spread over 5 days with 8 hours each. Much better! A lot less stressful and I'm getting into more of a routine. I'm actually eating breakfast!!! I found that just doing that has a much better effect on the rest of my eating. i'm no longer constantly wanting food! and if I want to snack I have a good think about it. Usually ends with not eating coz I want to get much fitter and lose more weight before going out to Borneo.

I feel so much more relaxed lately

 

[_Gizmo_]

Weighed myself yesterday and I've lost 1lb in just over a week =) I had put back on over 1 stone though. It's done now just got to get back on track. Feeling really motivated atm, didnt go out walking today but I wasn't feeling 100%. I have gotten some jobs done at home that needed doing instead. made some space in my room, well as much as I could. Hopefully I'll get more exercise done in the mornings now!

This is the last time I'm going to start trying to lose weight. Food isn't the most important thing in my life and the weight is affecting my life, and not in a good way. Theres things I wanna do or wear that I can't right now. I'd love to go horse riding again but need to lose a few stones before I can. And all the clothes I wanna wear... Urgh, wish I could fit in them and look good!

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[_Gizmo_]

Another 2lbs gone! I feel like im eating more, but I must be doing something right!

Im eating breakfast, which is stopping me from snacking on bags of chocolate in the mornings at work. I'm eating more at lunch time, which is also stopping me snacking so much. I used to only eat sandwiches during lunches, not good on a long day at work! lol im also eating bigger meals on a night, rather than putting a bit of pasta on because I can't be bothered to cook much. Had the pasta last night and wasnt satisfied at all so snacked a little bit.

Another thing im doing is letting myself have a can of cola each day, rather than banning it, which made me crave it more and ending up having several. I'm quite happy to just have water for the rest of the day after the 1 can.

My tunic for work is massive on me, keep seeing myself in windows/mirrors and getting upset at how big I look. ill lose a bit more, and then get myself more clothes that fit me, for work and casual wear! just need the money to actually buy them first... can't wait until I can buy all the clothes I want to wear

Feeling less tired now, think that might be because Im eating more and im less stressed. only reason im a bit tired today is because i stayed up later than normal to finish a book I was reading. It was good and I didn't want to go to sleep with just a few pages left to read lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

Managed to go out walking for over 4 hours today. Could have kept going probably, even though my feet were killing me! Lol didn't even feel hungry when I was out, plus I left half my tea because I felt full =)

Now watching a program on supersize kids. Slightly panicking about having loose skin after, need to find ways to prevent it! Also I don't think I could get a gastric band, couldn't live without some sugary stuff lol

I'm not craving things now like I used to. I can walk past the chocolate, pringles and doritos without even wanting to buy them. I still eat chocolately stuff but it's the small snack packs, which is enough for me.

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[_Gizmo_]

Omg, feel so tired and grumpy today! Ended up not going to bed until well after 2am when I wanted to go to bed at 11pm. I had to take my mum to hospital coz she had been out drinking and fell over.

Because I'm so tired and didnt get up until later, I haven't been out walking today. I have to leave to go see a friend and go see Captain America at 4 so have no time really. I hated getting up later! Feel like I've wasted most of my day. Complete change from when I was a student! 12pm was early then! Lol I might do a little bit of exercise in my room tho.

I'm now beginning to notice when I'm feeling full and I've left part of several meals now. Time to reduce portion sizes a bit coz I'm just wasting food.

I can't wait to get rid of the weight, and I think I may have finally found a way that suits me. WW didn't work, calorie counting failed, even healthy eating failed coz I banned foods! I'm letting myself have things, just not constantly and I'm really thinking about choices. Almost went to mcds after the hospital trip at 2am coz I was feeling a bit stressed but decided not to in the end and I'm so glad I did, it would have probably made me feel worse. And instead of a big bag of choc and bottle of coke for the cinema tonight, I'm taking a bottle of water and a snack pack of Jaffa cakes which will deffo be enough lol

Right, off to do some yoga and other exercises now before an afternoon of relaxing then going to see Captain America ? it looks like itll be really good and I wish all guys could just go into a machine and come out looking like him! Lol!

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[_Gizmo_]

I have no energy to anything atm, but atm my boss is away for the week so i'm basically in charge for the week, which isn't easy! Plus my weekend wasn't great so just in a bad mood and stressed. I know when I get like that because I start wanting to eat more and will eat without thinking, which I have been doing. I'm definately a comfort eater :sigh: I think an early night will be good for me, as I feel so tired I could go to bed now.

I've ordered a new tunic for work, as the ones I have atm are like tents, I think they're 3 sizes up from what I should be! Hopefully that will make me feel a bit better when I'm wearing something that fits a lot better. Got it cheap off ebay because I'm definately not wanting to wear that size for a long time

 

[_Gizmo_]

Got a new water bottle today. It's one that filters water as you drink it so you just need to fill it up with tap water. The water tastes just like the bottled water and i've already drank nearly 1 litre, when I was struggling to get through 750ml when drinking out of my old water bottle which i filled with filtered water (didn't like the taste from it). Definately recommend it! Plus when you change the filter you can choose different colours

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bobble-Bottle-Large-Litre-Blue/dp/B00447UVFE/ref=pd_sim_sg_1

Also weighed myself today and had put 2lbs back on :sigh: After my stressful weekend with a little bit extra eating, i'm not too suprised really. Oh well, I'm cutting down on my portion sizes and drinking more water, hopefully there will be a better change next weigh in!

 

[Sarahkins]

Hey Gizmo, just been reading through bits of your diary and you're doing really well and have some excellent motivation behind you! Don't let small gains get you down, we all have stressful times where we give in, but the only important thing is to jump back into the healthy business as soon as you can, any slip ups can be fixed and in the long run they won't matter. Hopefully you're feeling better after the weekend and back with us smiling! ^.^

Also, I LOVE that dress!!!! So jealous atm lol, can't wait till I can fit in gorgeous things like that!

Hope this week treats you better!!! xXx

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thanks Only today and tomorrow left of being in charge at work then I will just relax for the weekend. I will be going out for long walks, but to me that's actually relaxing if I just put my music on.

Less than 2 months until I go to Borneo But judging from the walk I managed to do last weekend, I think I can handle it. It's not going to be easy and i'm feeling scared about it (not just the long walks through the jungle but also the HUGE spiders and snakes... They have king cobras over there ). Oh well, need to get over fear and realise what I CAN do. I think i'm useless and can't do anything way too often. Need to show myself that thinking like that is wrong

I already have a feeling that life will seem much better after I get back from Borneo. In the last few months, I've learned how to control my finances better, and gotten over feeling depressed, it still creeps back in but not as bad. Also getting into better eating and drinking habits. Right now, I know I don't need food to make me happy and can survive on much less than I was eating before Had some cake this morning that my mum had made but stopped at 1 slice! Need treats sometimes

 

[_Gizmo_]

Just ordered a load of clothes for the trek in a size 16, when I'm a size 18 atm. So have 2 months to lose enough weight to be able to fit in them! Think this may be enough motivation to get doing some exercise and eating right! lol Don't want to waste my money They were on sale so much cheaper to get now.