Hannah's Lighter Life!

[Karamac]

Hanmac ive been reading you journey so far and its soo amazing. Youve done so well, id be pleased as punch if i could do a great job like you have so far .

Karamac, its terrible how vicious some people can be even when they think theyre doing the right thing by you.

My grandmothers offered to pay for my first 14 weeks as i cant afford it all and she was so ecstatic with me accepting her gift she naturally told my auntie. So my auntie rings my mother saying it was a waste of money, fad diet and id gain it all back.
Im just so hurt by this, it made me question doing the diet.. I just know shes told everyone else now and i cant defend myself because i live away from them.

River you CAN defend yourself by sticking to the diet, losing the weight, looking AMAZING and keeping it off. Honestly, honey - I don't know why these people feel the need to knock us but the problem is THEIRS, not ours. Why do they want to knock you for being positive and doing something about your weight. Would they rather you stayed unhappy? I think not. Please don't question the diet - it's absolutely fantastic and the support you'll get on here is SO fab. You keep going, girl!!

 

[hanmac]

Having a rubbish day at work. Just feel completely, bleeeeurgh. Cannot wait to go home and just do nothing!
Am looking forward to weigh in tomorrow, would love to have lost another 4ibs as would get me to my 4 stone loss, but realisticaly am expecting 2/3ibs. Who knows, fingers crossed!

River- Sorry to hear that your auntie isn't supporting you, just focus on the support from your grandmother and friends and family. You will prove them wrong when you lose weight and keep it off!

Karamac- You give such positive advice, I should pay you for counselling!

xxxx

 

[Karamac]

Thanks, Han - that's really lovely of you. I get a real boost by coming on here and I hope I give a little of that back to you guys!

 

[River]

Fingers crossed for you Hanmac, Im sure youll do it hun x and thank you both for your kind words . Ive got my drs appointment tomorrow (at last) so screw them and to the future hehe!

 

[hanmac]

Day 90

Good luck for your doc appointment River!

Eurrgh today is feeling like the longest day in history, am stuck inside working and it's so lovely and sunny outside!
Had a bit of a 'breakdown' today (sounds so dramatic) had another incident with my boss, not as bad as before but he actually stopped talking to me, which was kind of worse than when he was shouting at me! Luckily he went off to a meeting with my workmate so was left in the office on my own. Phoned my mum (as you do) and told her what had happened, to see if I was in the wrong. My mum is brutally honest so always phone her as a sounding board! She agreed that he was in the wrong, and that I had done the right thing. I'll admit it, had a bit of a cry as am just getting so fed up. But then decided I just need to get a grip! I either need to do something about it or grin and bear it. At the moment i'm grinning and bearing it, my workmate is off home tonight so will be just me and boss in office tomorrow, could be interesting. But will see how tomorrow goes and am going to have a big think this weekend. The problem is I don't really have many options which is making me feel a bit trapped and depressed. But I feel like change is needed!

On the Lighter Life side of life (quite a mouthful!) it's all going well. Weigh in tonight so am looking forward to that. A few of my group members have been on holiday so will be nice to see everyone back today. Think we get our final photos done tonight as it's the end of their Week 14, I joined a week late but is still the start of my Week 14 so guess it still counts. Can't believe these 14 weeks have flown by so fast! Am moving onto developers to lose final stone. Luckily my LLC doesn't have a new foundation group to replace us yet so we can all stay in the same group at the same time for a few more weeks. The 7.30pm meetings are just so convenient for me! But she said we may have to move to a existing developers group that meets at 6pm which I could probably just about manage.

Feel like I should try the porridge as it's one of the packs I haven't tried, (and am tempted to try them all before I finish!) but wasn't a fan of porridge before LL so not sure if i'll like it! Not sure I can bring myself to try the tomato soup either as have heard mixed reviews about it, mainly negative...think i've tried all the bars tho, and most of the shakes but not banana. Is funny as each week I used to say to myself 'i'll treat myself to fruit of the forest water flavour next week', but have got so far without it, don't think I need it! Never thought i'd find it so easy to drink so much water, as before LL I was one of those people who said 'i hate water'. And never thought i'd like black coffee either!

There isn't alot on this forum about Developers so maybe I should start a new diary about it...will decide after tonight!

Hope everyone is well, good luck for all your weigh ins!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[hanmac]

2 pounds gone this week!
Wasn't surprised as could almost tell I hadn't lost as much as last week, you do start to 'feel' how much you've lost after a while! But was expecting a low loss due to sum *cough*tummy troubles*cough*, i'm sure everyone knows what i'm talking about! But have been taking senokot so hopefully things return to normal!

 

[tracyd]

well done han, i only did 2.5lbs myself this week but i know why feeling very bloated (totm) next week will be better! but hey im still happy as over the 2 stone mark now. you've done amazingly well on your journey so far, you must and should feel very proud of yourself ..ooh regarding your tummy i take a movicol sachet every couple of days since doing that i dont have any probs, prior to that it was just awful xx

 

[hanmac]

Hi Everyone,
This may sound a bit weird but hopefully i'll be able to explain!

I'm not going to be on this site agin until Thursday. At the moment so much is going on in my personal life with work. I've been feeling really low and depressed, i've been trying to cover it up from friends, family and everyone really. But I think i've been using Lighter Life as an escape from everything else. I've now begun to realise that I am becoming slightly obsessive with the diet which isn't healthy. I am NOT giving up Lighter Life, I just feel like I need to put other things first for a few days. I've found myself constantly checking this site and other LL forums, found myself panicking that I won't reach my goal and worrying that maybe I should lose another stone on top of the final stone i'm hoping to lose.

Yesterday looking at myself in the mirror all I could focus on was the fact that I still have a tummy and that my thighs jiggle...when I should be thinking about how far i've come! Losing an additional stone wouldn't really be healthy for me, as i've found myself starting to think more and more about food and RTM, and I feel I should move to RTM whilst i'm still happy and in the right mindset, not in another 2 months time when i'd be more likely to just throw it all in.

I just think i'm worrying about LL to take my mind off things in my personal life that I should be focusing on.

I've signed up for four more weeks of abstinence (developers) and then I will move to RTM, even if i'm a few pounds short of my goal.

This forum has been my greatest support throughout the whole LL journey, and a big thank you to everyone for all your support and advice. I am definitely not giving up I am just taking a few days off to focus on myself. Just thought i'd let you know in advance in case you wonder where i've disappeared to!

So I will be back on Thursday and will let you all know how I get on with my weigh in!

Hannah
xxxxxx

 

[tracyd]

Hanmac take it easy ......hope your ok xx

 

[MagdaX]

All of you are AMAZING!!!
Mags xxx

 

[tracyd]

awww mags thats lovely thanks x

 

[Karamac]

Big hugs, Han.

 

[hanmac]

Hello all,
I'm back!
Thank you TracyD and Karamac for your nice messages!
Have had a busy, busy week.
I lost 2ibs this week, i'll be completely honest and say I am a bit disappointed, but i'll write more tomorrow as I am literally falling asleep as I type this!

I hope everyone is well and I look forward to catching up on how everyone is doing!
xxxxx

 

[tracyd]

hi hanmac missed you! well done thats fab, you have done so very well xx

 

[hanmac]

Thanks Tracyd! Your doing great

Had my Week 14 photos taken last night

Really wish my LLC would tell me if my eyes are shut in the photo! But oh well, is nice to see them side by side.
Am still feeling a bit down though and I don't know why! Think I was really hoping for a bigger loss yesterday after a 'bad' week the week before.
But next Wednesday i'm going home for a long weekend. So am not going to take my scales (as usually i'd do a weigh in at home). So will be 2 weeks until I next get weighed, and think the break from getting weighed will do me good.

xxxx

 

[tracyd]

hi hanmac, you look fab! so sorry to hear your still feeling down. ive had a few odd days recently aswell.try and keep your chin up hey xx

 

[yoyo-ohno]

Hi Hannah,
Your photos look amazing... well done
You look so slim, try not to be too disappointed with your losses now - your BMI must be in the healthy range? .... you look great - chin up :hug99:
I can't wait to be at week 14 ... fingers crossed I'm not the first one to defy the odds & not lose 3 stone despite sticking to it 100% - lol
take care
yoyo
xx

 

[GothicLolita]

Hannah, well done on your great loss. You look amazing.

 

[hanmac]

DAY 100!!

Thank you for your lovely comments! It really does cheer me up to know that people enjoy reading my little blog on here, and everybody is so supportive!

Realised that today is a HUGE milestone as i'm on...

DAY 100!

I cannot believe how fast the 100 days have gone!! Remember when I started 100 days seeming so long and truthfully never thinking i'd make it this far. It's been an amazing time, with some real highs and lows but I feel like i've learnt alot about myself and what I am capable of, actually feel really proud of myself which feels nice, am giving myself a well deserved pat on the back!

I know in the past few weeks i've been feeling a bit low, but I think for the past few months whilst everything else has been going wrong i've relied on losing weight to cheer myself up, so when the losses started to slow down I almost felt that I was 'failing' myself in a way. But i've lost 4 stone in 3 months, and it's crazy to even feel a little bit disappointed with that!! I still have a few weeks left on abstinence and then the 12 week RTM journey to look forward to and i'm looking forward to new challenges. I feel as though i'm ready to 'eat' again, which shows how far i've come from I think it was week 6 where I wrote that I was scared of eating and would rather stay on LL forever!

When I finish developers at the beginning of October I am going to have my haircut and coloured, and embrace the new me!

 

[lucy4loop]

Han that's fantastic. You sound so together, full of confidence. You've had an amazing journey to get here, you're nearly at the next step, and you are ready for it! I know what you mean about having a stage of wanting to stay in abstinence forever (sort in that mode myself now!), it's good to see you moving on from that and feeling ready to meet the future. Good for you xx