How to deal with unsupportive family?

[Sweethearts]

I have a very large family, in both quantity and weight. No one in my family is thin, apart from the two people who have eating disorders. Yet they call me fat and make fat jokes constantly, like when I sit down on the couch and they jump into the air, or saying "did it just get fatter in here" when I walk in, and saying that fat people should be taken to a different planet and they should take me first. Most of the time the insults are worse than this but those are the recent ones. These are said by all of my family, even the large ones, and even when there are other people bigger than me in the room they are directed at me. Even my mom calls me fat constantly and laughs at the jokes. When I joined Slimming World the first thing my mom said was "How long are you going to keep this up for before you start looking as big as your niece again" (my niece being around 30 stone). Well, I have done great in the last four weeks and I thought this might stop the taunts, but it hasn't. They still constantly take the piss out of me and make me feel useless even though I have lost 1st7lb. I just don't know how to deal with this; I already have low-self esteem and agoraphobia because I feel disgusting like no one would want to see me in the street. These fat jokes are constant; probably about six jokes every hour and I can't escape them because I live with my parents. They have been going since I was seventeen and around 12 stone. Sorry for the rant, I just don't know what to do; I want to feel proud with my weight loss and I can't do that when being constantly mocked.

Hello, I'm curious as to how they react to you now you've lost over 3 stone? Bet they feel very silly now Well done by the way!

 

[Rosie134]

Actually they have stopped now, which is interesting. They have done a complete 180; even when I have a bad week they say it doesn't matter and are really supportive. What the hell happened? Haha. It's weird. Thanks and good luck with your journey

 

[smackiejackie]

I read this thread with sadness but I see it now is going well for you (hope you are feeling stronger)
Well done on the weight loss--so jealous

 

[Phoenix_Girl]

Actually they have stopped now, which is interesting. They have done a complete 180; even when I have a bad week they say it doesn't matter and are really supportive. What the hell happened? Haha. It's weird. Thanks and good luck with your journey

I was so angry for you when I read this thread as it takes determination to stick to the plan and not go on a syn-binge.
Hearing that they have completely turned around though is a relief although you shouldn't have had to endure that treatment from your family.

Whenever I get people making jokes at my expense due to my appearance, I just respond with "Wow, your ocular nerves are functioning correctly! I may have a weight problem but I'm dealing with it, not sure how you are going to deal with your lack of a personality though!"

That tends to disarm people as I U-turned the insult and the joke is on them.

Keep going, you are doing fabulously well, just ignore the green-eyed monsters on your way

 

[Llamasoks]

Just wanted to come and say well done! You've done amazingly well! I agree with pretty much everything others have said here. We used to have a boss like this, he'd constantly be making big jokes and taunting me and a co-worker (also on SW) with food, but he was at least 3 times the size of me, I really think it was because all the while he was taunting us, he was able to ignore the issue he had with his weight.

I notice you've said your family have done a complete 180, maybe in an odd (and horrible) way they were trying to spur you on. Perhaps your incredible achievement will even inspire them to make a positive change with their weight.

If you ever need a weight loss buddy, we've got about the same amount to lose, feel free to chat.

X

 

[janetelizabeth]

Rosie I'm glad your family have changed to supportive and long may it continue!!
You keep going and maybe some of them will join SW too...we lead by example!!

 

[Lizzymag]

Massive well done on your fantastic weight loss!! They are probably supporting you more now as they can see that you are the strong one who is losing the weight and doing so well!

 

[Rosie134]

Thanks everyone With the support of my group, my partner, everyone on here, and on facebook I felt that I didn't need their support to lose the weight. I think they have realised that I have achieved what the rest of the family can't seem to; lose weight without starvation and actually stick to a long-term plan. Since I joined three of my sisters have tried SW and have quit, and I think they have realised how hard it is to stop binge eating (that is my whole family's weakness). Even though you can eat loads on SW, they want to eat the wrong things. I have tried to get them to go back though.

 

[donkeysaurusrex]

Thanks everyone With the support of my group, my partner, everyone on here, and on facebook I felt that I didn't need their support to lose the weight. I think they have realised that I have achieved what the rest of the family can't seem to; lose weight without starvation and actually stick to a long-term plan. Since I joined three of my sisters have tried SW and have quit, and I think they have realised how hard it is to stop binge eating (that is my whole family's weakness). Even though you can eat loads on SW, they want to eat the wrong things. I have tried to get them to go back though.

I'm only in my 2nd week and have a particularly unsupportive mum - fortunately I moved out so I feel like sw will be easier on my own but you're an inspiration! I hope your esteem has shot up - look at how much you've achieved in the face of all that! Binge eating is all consuming and your determination has really shown them up, I hope they're all ashamed of how they treated you. Good on you and huge congrats!