It is time to admit I have an eating disorder..

[elida]

We went to friends for breakfast a few days ago. I was very prepared, got my own cheese and salad, asked them to cook my eggs seperately without oil and all.
With all the pastry smells just from the oven, I couldn't resist and had 3 pieces in a few hours. But this is OK, everyone can give in, right? I resisted eating more of those by munching on salad all day.. Then I came home and I had an eating attack.. :cry:I stuffed myself too much to a degree that I couldn't hold them in.

I had blumia when I was a teenager, the eating attack was very similar to those and it scared the hell out of me.

I've been good the next few days, but it was an eye opening moment.. The weight is least of my concerns now, I am not sure how I will manage in conso with the carbs, maybe I should stay on cruise for the rest of my life

I don't know why I am telling this here

 

[CC]

I Think you are brave to admit that.

I am no expert, but perhaps you need to meet with a professional and talk about it/underlying issues in depth? Maybe being on a restrictive diet isn't good for your psyche?

Well done again for admitting it and trying to get back on DD again.
BIG HUG! xxxx

 

[Atropos]

I don't know why I am telling this here

I think you are telling us because you know we will care, and because most of us wouldn't be here at all if we didn't have a problematic relationship with food.



Carb cravings are powerful things, and clearly have triggered you - so now you also know how to avoid the trigger, tell help you through the next few months while you decide if you also want to work on your head.

It will give you a breathing space, where the compulsion is quiet for a while and can give you time to think.

Your recognition this morning is testimony to that!

In the meantime, why not continue to avoid the simpler (white/processed) carbs if and when you feel ready for conso/stabilistation - no white bread, pastry, sugar, biscuits, rice, pasta, potatoes...

But that doesn't bean you can't experiment with the more complex carbs - like beans, chickpeas, peas, spelt crackers.

And if it all gets too much for you - now you know exactly how to turn the compulsion off again by going back to dukan principles.

It's going to be all right.

 

[wkdstepmum]

Elida, well done for admitting it first of all, I think it's terribly brave of you to do so and helpful for anyone else who might possibly be in a similar situation x
First thing's first, don't allow yourself to feel guilty or ashamed for it, that only makes things worse. Perhaps if you haven't already considered talk therapy it might be an idea, I had some years ago after a loss and I have to say it really, really helped just to get it all out to an objective stranger -although I suppose we're all strangers in a way and maybe this forum will be enough to get you back on track, I really do hope so x

 

[willbefabulousat26]

I owe hypnotism to vastly improving my relationship with food. It can really help with these type of issues. Take care of yourself x

 

[DeeCe]

I can't say I have much advice or experience.. but well done you for being so brave about it, and I'm sure everyone is supportive and here for you x x

 

[kerryashton]

Its good to hear someone say they have this issue also! I've suffered for years from bulimia, i have found the restrictivness of the diet works that i no longer have to purge after bingeing however i have had some concerns that i now have so little interst in food ( i'm bored by the food i'm having) that i don't eat much at all now (its not a control thing just totally bored and disinterested).
It is scary when you feel that you've conquered a problem like bulimia and then suddenly its back and bitten you on the bum,but as mentioned you now know where youre weekness lies and that you will prob need to avoid these things......oh it all sounds so easy to say doesn't it but its not and i know that...maybe talking to a therapist would help. I hope you move past this and don't beat yourself up too much, good luck! x

 

[Maintainer]

I'm with you...

 

[Sander23]

Atropos is right on! And admitting the problem is one of the best things you can do to get yourself started finding solutions. I have told my family and close friends that I have a problem with binging and have asked them to keep trigger foods away as much as possible. They also help me monitor my behaviors so that when I start to lose control, they step in and distract me and get rid of the food. That's why you often see me post of problems when I'm by myself

 

[curvygirlie]

Oh Elida, you poor thing.

I know where you're coming from.

I suffer from binge eating disorder and have had NHS counselling / self help / medication but i felt it only worked to a degree and I am in no way cured. I am terrified of conso as I know as soon as I am allowed to have small portions of the food that has been previously been 'banned' there's a chance it will trigger a binge.

I know that simple carbs tend to be my trigger , I tried my first 2 days of conso last week eating wholemeal bread and it sent me into a spin, resulting in a binge of my daughter's packed lunch food (crisps, cookies, chocolate animals)- so i've put myself back on cruise until i can prepare some complex carb meals which include things like lentils, quinoa, broth mix.

My therapist said that I see white carbs as bad food and he did his damnest to try and change how I viewed them (it didn't work)

so now I'm planning tasty meals with complex carbs

• Lean meat chilli with quinoa
• lots of lovely winter soup with broth mix
• wholemeal pasta bakes
• lentil dhal with lots of indian spices and a wholemeal chappati
• homemade humous

As Maintainer has said in another thread today, we need to treat Conso the same as cruise in that we need to plan our menus ahead, perhaps batch cook the dishes in advance so we never have the opportunity to get so hungry that we'll eat anything.

My heart goes out to you.
You're so brave to speak out.
It's heartbreaking the isolation eating disorder sufferers experience because of the guilt you feel.

(((big hug))))
xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Jade25]

Elida I really feel for you. I am a binger as well, I'm either being good and eating healthily or I'm eating everything in sight. Curvygirlie- I had never heard of binge eating disorder, I've just done a little bit of research and it sounds like me exactly. It actually feels good to have a name for it instead of thinking I'm just a fat pig so elida I think you've done the right thing admitting it and discussing it here - maybe it will take some of the guilt away?

 

[Nina41]

Elida, join the club! I also have an eating disorder ( no idea which one) and I am so desperate to get rid of it hat when I was reffered to an eating disorder clinic in London I showed up A MONTH earlier for the appointment by mistake. Unfortunately they couldn't treat me because it wasn't "life threatening" (only god knows the HUGE affect my weight has in my life)
I also caved in once (oct 27) when I was making little cupcakes for my husbands birthday. Elida, I had 3 cakes in seconds. I felt like I had been starving for decades and the attack was uncontrollable. Don't kick yourself for doing it!

You know, **** happens... and we have to learn from it. In previous diets I would just go "what the heck, I'll just eat whatever I find in the house" after that but instead I stopped, wrote about it here and carried on.

I am sure everyone will back me up when I say "we are here for you! Dont give up!

 

[Nina41]

Will befabulous, I would love to know more about your hypnosis. I am about to do it but still not 100% sure. Could we talk about it? Please?

 

[slimdreamer]

I also wanted to add my support, I too am a binger and understand fully what you are going through.

I haven't reached consolidation yet and like others feel quite frightened by it. I have still had the odd binge even on cruise but within Dukan foods so am worried about conso foods. But hopefully all of us that have done the diet have learned how to control weight gain and have a tool with Dukan. At least this is what I'm hoping for!

I am sure you will be back on track in no time.

 

[charlies mummy]

Elida - I am really pleased you managed to share this with everyone. I have days like Jade, when I am being really good and happy I am in control then I will flip - eat everything, my daughters chocolate brioche, crisps (4 or 5 packets), toast, chocolate, cake, pastry based items - sometimes I hardly even taste it and cant remember what I have had. I do it feel guilty - make myself sick - think its just this once. Get back on track then something will happen and I do it again.

I have had counselling and this relates to things that happened earlier in my life. I know carbs - toast, pastry, crisps, cakes are my trigger foods and so avoiding them all is what I have to do. Give me an inch I would take a mile.

We are all with you and I hope you feel better sharing it with us. You will always get a friendly ear and some good advice on here xxx:bighug:

 

[trudyc]

SO brave to share this with everyone. I think we can all relate to what you are saying. I found hypnosis really interesting and whilst it didn't cure me from bingeing it gave me an understanding of what I was doing and why, now I know that only I control what happens with my eating and no one or nothing else. It was an empowering revelation for me. Very simple but definitely a revelation! Keep strong.

 

[willbefabulousat26]

Alessandra of course you can ask about hypnosis. Feel free to ask away here or PM me x

 

[elida]

Thank you all for being so nice and supportive, I am overwhelmed... I read each reply a couple of times, so good to be understood..

I always knew I had a problem with food but never realised how deep it was, stupid or what? I haven't had that kind of attack for almost 20 years and I really forgot how bad it was...

I will continue cruise and when it is time for conso I will keep away from simple carbs like you guys suggested..

I can't have treatment where I am (I am an expat in the middle east), I will try to keep it under control until I go back home, maybe i will learn how to do it by then.

Consolidation is the most important phase of this diet and I should be even more careful there.. I was afraid when I got closer to goal but now I am terrified.

The support here is amazing, I feel really lucky..
Thank you all once again..

http://www.clipartspace.com/clipart/hearts/heart5.gif

 

[Maintainer]

Threads like this are great, and it's surprising how many of us binge eater there are. This diet does help tremendously in the first two phases, but it's good to look at the whys and wherefores, and possible distraction/avoidance techniques before getting to Conso (aka "real life"!).

I know that simple carbs tend to be my trigger , I tried my first 2 days of conso last week eating wholemeal bread and it sent me into a spin, resulting in a binge of my daughter's packed lunch food (crisps, cookies, chocolate animals)- so i've put myself back on cruise until i can prepare some complex carb meals which include things like lentils, quinoa, broth mix.

My therapist said that I see white carbs as bad food and he did his damnest to try and change how I viewed them (it didn't work)

so now I'm planning tasty meals with complex carbs

• Lean meat chilli with quinoa
• lots of lovely winter soup with broth mix
• wholemeal pasta bakes
• lentil dhal with lots of indian spices and a wholemeal chappati
• homemade humous

As Maintainer has said in another thread today, we need to treat Conso the same as cruise in that we need to plan our menus ahead, perhaps batch cook the dishes in advance so we never have the opportunity to get so hungry that we'll eat anything.

If I can just come back to you curvygirlie - putting yourself back on Cruise, while comforting, isn't (in my humble opinion) the answer. (I've done it many times, and am now in a spiral.)

In France, the bread recommended is the bakery bought "pain complet" which bears little resemblance either taste or texture wise to "wholemeal bread" if we're talking supermarket sliced. Also, two slices weighs far more than the recommended 40g (over here). So something to look at. Conso can be done without white carbs. The tiny amount of perhaps homemade bread (might solve the problem if proper bakery bread isn't easily available in your area - something we're very lucky with over here) is but a snack portion, and isn't big enough for a sandwich, so the "meal" itself in Conso remains PV really...

Please reconsider the Cruise idea.

 

[jocandoit]

I just wanted to let you know that I am thnking of you, and think you are unbelievably brave to be sharing your fears. My sister lost a shed load of weight 2 years ago, and I felt extremely bitter and jealous at first, but then found out that she was bulimic. With the support of people on here , I am certain that you will be able to make the right choices, and get yourself through this rough patch until you can get somewhere where you will be able to get help.

Big hugs.xxx