Its gona be over tonight

Hiya Becky

I so know what you're going through (yes, even an old bird like me knows what it's like to get their heart broken and yearn for someone who just isn't the right one for them).

All I can say is that I agree with Isobel - don't answer his call. I know how much you want to hear his voice, and ache for him to say that he's made a mistake and wants things back the way they were - but he won't .. and that will only make you feel worse.

I know it must feel impossible right now but I promise you it WILL make you a stronger person - and maybe (just maybe) make him think a bit harder about what it is he's thrown away.

Much love to you honey
 
Thank you Sharon. I know your right. But it will be so hard to do. I do want to hear his voice. I want him to ask if im ok. I dont know if ill be able to not answer. I dont want to lose contact with him, and im worried i will if i dont answer. I just cant be strong. Not today. Or for a while i dont think. Thank you though, and your not an old bird!! Your in your prime girly!
 
I think u should not answer too.... make him think you're out having a good time :)

It is still possible to be friends even if u don't answer his call.. but the friends bit needs to come after you've had time to get over your hurt and upset
 
Oh PB hun...((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

So, did he call? Please dont feed his ego by letting him know that youre so upset, i know its tempting and prob feels natural but it wont change anything and do you really want him NOW? There's one thing wanting him to want you and there's another actually wanting him......like you say he's not the one so why waste time and heart ache...hope this doesnt sound too harsh but you really must protect your own heart now..let him get on with treading his path...youre going in different directions now honey and i know its all so raw..hun i know im prob not helping but please dont pussy foot around him..delete his number...if he really wants to get in touch he willl leave messages etc.....

on the other hand....

you must do what U feel is right at the given moment..just protect your heart hun.


You WILL come out the other end...feeling on top and in control and not needy of someone who doesnt want you.

Fresh start...get on Udating hun...karen's had a whale of a time!!!! makes fun reading too...

Hugs

x
 
Oh Becky I so feel for you. My boyfriend last year dumped me on New Years Day. I was devastated and but for 2 good friends don't know what I would have done. I cried buckets, couldn't sleep, thought I'd never be happy again. Had long tearful "what did I do wrong" telephone calls with him.

Then when I was least expecting it .............. I met my current OH and neither of us was looking for romance. We went out one Sunday lunchtime (well it was something to do on an otherwise boring day!!!) - spent the day together really got on well. Met again Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday etc etc etc ....... and 2 weeks after we met he moved in with me and that was 9months ago.

So have your tears - they are a natural process of healing, then move on with your life .... without too many backward glances. As others have said you will heal, but the hurt is horrible whilst that is happening. Come on here and pour your heart out, 'phone friends and family.

((hugs Becky))
 
Hi Kirsten, OJ, Beverley and Karen,

Thanks for your kind messages.

Well, he didnt call. So i neednt worry about what to say. I did spend the evening in the pub and often didnt have signal, but i think thats just me making excuses. He didnt call.

I think its actually a good thing he didnt. That little bit of anger about saying he would and not, has replaced the hurt. It feels better. Its over, and im going to move on.

And yes, i went to the pub :)

At the last minute my boss asked if i wanted to go with him and his gf and his mate. I ummed and ahhed, then he said 'come on you dont have anything else to do', so i went.

Lively old man pub in south croydon. Three pints of cider and blackcurrent and a brandy (?! they didnt sell shots apparently, so thats what we got. Warmed my cockles right up!)

I had a fun evening, talked about Iain, got drunk, and feel better for it today.

Still feel that sadness is there, but i can at least function today which is a bonus.

I know there are going to be times over christmas and new year when i really miss him, but at least ill be with my family, they will look after me.

Thank you all so much for helping me, i really would have totally fallen apart yesterday without your support.

Love to you all,
 
Well done darlin', you are well on the road to recovery. Enjoy your break with the family, they will make you feel better and take this time to evaluate what you want to do with your life next year - the world's your lobster girlfriend.

Love and hugs
 
Thanks Karen.

Your right, I do need to take time to decide what to do with next year to make my life a better place to be.

And im soooo looking forward to spending time with my family, they will make me feel loved!!

Thanks again,
 
Hey Becky

SO glad ur boss and his GF took u out with them, least it meant u weren't in on ur own wallowing in despair!!! It often just takes a night out like that to start the healing process! I think it is for the best that he didn't call, It gave u something to feel angry at him about.. anger is always best in these circumstances! U are gonna have days when u feel depressed and lonely, but at least its xmas and u can go back home and have ur family all around you to take ur mind off him... u'll be back on top in no time, out on the pull again and soon will have put him behind u

Who needs men anyway (ahem... me, me, me, me.. actually.. erm sorry about that outburst!!!)

:D
 
Hi sweetiepie, I am sooo relieved that you had a good night last night, I have to say I was a tad worried about you trying to cope alone!

I am also glad that he didn't call you, and now some of the hurt has been (rightly) replaced with anger,

(I know from past experience that I have regretted the "desperate" phone calls the "what did I do wrong? I will change etc".. uurgh, if I could turn back time I would undo that little episode, the fact is after a month without the useless piece of dirt *is being polite* in my life I was wondering why i caused such a fuss about it being over),

I know you will feel the same after a few weeks, you might still love him at the moment but I am willing to bet my last choccy mint shake that he will be a non issue in a little while!

What a nice boss you must have too, in many of my past jobs I wouldn't have wanted to spend an extra second with any of my bosses let alone an evening out lol, good for you hun xx

Try to stay strong and positive, and don't take his calls (if he bothers to call) don't let him into your life whilst it's still so raw, that way you will avoid feeling like you 'need' him, because you don't - You are a beautiful, independant,strong woman with fabulous times ahead of you!!!!!!!!!

Take care babe xx
 
Hi Becky,

Time for you to focus on yourself and getting fighting fit for 2007.

Very good of your boss to take you out with his friend and as you have said you have a lovely family of your own to spend Christmas with.

Times like this it does help to count your blessing.

I think Beverly's story is very true...just as your heart is breaking something better comes along and you can see looking back that things do work out for he best.

Love Mini xxx
 
Ah thank you! Such lovely posts!

Yeah, my boss is lovely. We'r only a small company, and all get on really well. I count James (my boss) as a good friend as well, he's always there to help me out (even lent me half my boob job money!) And it was really nice for him to ask me to go out with them last night, it was definatly what I needed.

I really feel suprisingly ok today. Positive and kinda of, relieved and refreshed I think. I know I can do things without him, and have a good life. And its nice to not have to worry about him anymore. Always thinking about whether I can call him, and when Im next going to see him, and anlyising what he's said to me and what I feel about us. Now I can just be me, and focus on me and making myself happy.

Of course all this may change in a day or two and ill miss him terribly, but at the moment I think iv realised that this wasnt such an awful thing to happen. It is for the best.

Also, I had also already bought him his xmas pressie, a wide screen computer flat screen thing. Cost £140 so im going to take it back. But Iv decided that with the money im going to buy myself a xmas present instead. I had been looking at watches and a necklace i liked in case he asked me what i wanted, but now im abviously not going to get it from him, why not treat myself instead! Show me some love this christmas! I think i deserve something special!!

So yeah, Im ok. I just try not to focus on being without him, but just being with me and taking charge of my own life and living it fully :)
 
Hmmm, not doing so good now.

I miss him. I want to talk to him. I know i cant call him, but i wish i could. Its hard to just cut off from him altogether.

Wish i was going out again tonight, take my mind off it.

I was really feeling ok earlier, so i thought that was it. Nope, its not gona be that easy.

I wish he would call and change his mind. I wish id been different so he still wanted to be with me.

Iv been thinking about tunisia, and he was so lovely to me there, i miss that.

Sh*te, what happended to my positive mood? Anyone got it? I want it back
 
Men are twats.

I remember one of my ex's and I going to Greece for a holiday, was soo lovely and had a great time.. then we got back and he finished me..

What a loser.. I know it aint what you wanna hear but with your new boobs and slimmer figure you can go out and get someone worthy of you.

He probably doesn't like the fact you're losing weight too, and you're getting more confident, he's probably very insecure.

Chin up lady, and flash those boobs, lol!
 
Hey Bex,
Just read your thread so sorry i haven't been around, hope today is a better day for you darling hope your feeling more positive !

Your right it is a sh*t time of the year but 2007 is a new start for you , nobody else to consider and your love time and energy can be all about you !

This may be the best thing to ever have happened to you i have been there too and thought nobody would ever love me again how wrong was i !

Everything will work out for you hunny i am sure because you deserve it !
Will be thinking of you, lotsa love Julie XXXXXX
 
Hi Becky...

Was good to hear u were feeling more positive... then bad to hear u lost the positiveness!!!

Its the weekend, take his pressie back and treat yourself to something gorgeous ... or even treat yourself to a day away in a health spa or something like that.. but spend it on yourself.. u'll feel much better...

As for the non-positive day.. its just one day.. ur good mood will come back
 
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