It's now or never

[egbert]

Thats awful - I do not understand why mother in laws go insane when you mention weddings.

If I mention the word wedding near my MIL her face puckers and shrivels like she sucked on a lemon and got stung by a wasp at the same time. Not that she objects to me - after 12 years and 2 kids its too late. She objects to an expense like this when we have kids already and should be more discreet (hide in the local registry office and don't tell anyone we were not already married!)

 

[egbert]

So frustrated. Same weight again. Been here for ages. I am struggling so much right now to move anything, which of course makes me want to just eat instead.

Been up 4 times in the night with my daughter again. How come when they are tiny babies and have you up you cope but when they get older it's so much more tiring to be woken up mid sleep. That's 3'days of interrupted nights and I just feel so tired and grumpy today. Head aches, and is stuffed with wool at the same time.

Weigh in. On Thursday and I think I will stay the same weight as last time. Pants!

 

[spangles]

Ages between now and thursday, petal. Yesterday morning I was looking at a STS, and as of this morning I'd dropped 2.5lbs. Overnight!

There's no rhyme or reason to it - just be the best you can be on the diet, and you know the weight will come off eventually.

That said - if you're sleep deprived, like if you're sick, i think the body is more inclined to cling on to fat reserves to see you through.

 

[egbert]

Hope you are right hun - although I think it is TOTM as well. Need to drink more water too.

On the bright side, today my shoes came. I was expecting to be sending the straight back for being too high, but actually they were really comfy, for the 10 minutes i have worn them. They are much higher than I am used to wearing, but gorgeous. So now I can't decide - keep them, wear them regularly round the house to get used to them, or send them back and be sensible. . . .

What do you think? . . .


I have to say though, 4 months ago I would have thought these were revolting, but for some reason since planning this wedding I have finally discovered my girlie gene! I have really loved dress shopping and now I am going for mental shoes - what is wrong with me? I do think some of it at least is down to feeling thinner and happier with myself, liking myself again. Once I finish losing weight I may even go buy some day dresses - I have been in jeans since I was . . . 5 I think!

Women's Multi Irregular Choice Ic Oz Cant Touch This Floral at Schuh

 

[spangles]

i love those shoes! perfect wedding shoes.

 

[Cee]

They're gorg, but I'd never wear them. I'd look odd, but they're really pretty (I don't do pretty, very much a tom boy growing up)
I'd keep them, wear them around the house and get a back up gorg, more comfy pair for if you start suffering in the heels. Thick heels tend to be much kinder to your feet anyway, so you might be fine. They're too beautiful to send back!!!!!!!

 

[egbert]

After checking the height with OH, showing my mum, getting approval from everyone for the shoes . . . I woke up this am thinking they might be too high. Last time I wore high heels I sprained my ankle, dnt want to do that on my wedding day.

Why am I so indecisive.

Well, I will try them out tonight after work, then decide.

 

[egbert]

Well what a pants day -

Firstly, I have not been in to work for the last 2 days cos DD has been ill, so gone in today and missed saying goodbye to people who have already left the business. So lots of empty desks.

Then I got given my final notice letter, which made it all very real - I know I have known about redundancy for 6 months but now it is next week it is really really depressing :cry::cry:

Then my team went out for lunch at the Harvester - I did stick to plain chicken breast and a little bit of side salad, actually a tiny portion compared to old days, but still not good when it is weigh in tomorrow :cry::cry:

Then of course they were handing out chocolates left right and centre, and I failed and had a few sweets - sweets are my downfall :break_diet: :17729:

Finally one of the miserable men I work with was leaving, and just walked out without saying goodbye - after 10 years. Which - well I am not fussed about him, but it was just so depressing to realise none of us will probably see each other again. And everyone has found a new job except me, because they can travel and I need to be close for school runs. So - no job and looks like my career is over :cry::cry::sigh::sigh: cwhack: cwhack:

Fed up, depressed, fat and TOTM

 

[spangles]

oh lovey. must be really upsetting.

but not everything needs to go right for us to be happy, and you have the wedding to look forward to. and sooner or later a job will turn up that will work well for you, and then you'll be glad you haven't got a massive commute. xxxx

 

[egbert]

Sorry - I am really grumpy tonight.

Maybe I should turn the laptop off so I don't moan on everyone else's thread

Just feel like screaming and swearing and crying and getting totally phished.

 

[missfortissimo]

Wow. I've never seen shoes like that, I don't think that's quite my style!

Well looking at them a 2nd time I like them more.

Hopefully you can start getting more sleep, I bet that will help with weight loss. Try not to get too discouraged, you may very well be losing inches but not pounds.

 

[egbert]

Woken up today and the bad mood continues. Feelings really fed up and depressed. Went to walk the dogs with SIL, had a moan about never seeing her anymore and we have decided to go out friday night. I think I need some time out to get my head round unemployment anyway.

Had my weigh in today, I have only lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks - that is just pants and shows a distinct lack of motivation.

SO - to cheer myself up I am taking today and tomorrow off, and treating myself. And since I am such a gourmet, I racked my brains to decide what fabulous treat I wanted for lunch, promised myself I would cook anything I liked . . .

So I am having baked potato, crisped in the oven in oil and salt, with cheese and beans! Hey - don't say I don't have deluxe tastebuds! lol.

 

[egbert]

Hmm - well I managed half before I was full of potato - which is interesting.

And now a few hours later I just feel uncomfortable, bloated and fat. I think I am definitely getting used to the smaller meals, which gives me hope for the future and maintaining. Now to remember this feeling so I don't want to get here again.

 

[spangles]

Good for you! Keep listening to those signals, and being mindful. My problem was eating mindlessly, on autopilot: chomp-chomp-chomp until it's gone. Like a cow.

What I hope to do in future is to keep thinking while i'm eating: do i really want this? Do i want more? how is it making me feel?

but that's hard. didn't notice any of those thoughts on 810 week, for sure.

 

[missfortissimo]

Egbert, I understand that feeling of hopelessness and depression. Sorry, I somehow missed that post before!

I hope you feel better soon, and hopefully there is another job in the near future.

Give yourself more credit about a pound a week -- YOU ARE STILL LOSING!

 

[Cee]

Egbert! Have you considered getting a childminder to do your school runs? Or a family member who can do it for you? That would open up opportunities for work? There will be a way to work everything out so you can work. You'll figure it out when you've gotten out of the sadness you feel now I think.Your weight loss may be masked, since its TOTM? You'll feel better soon, promise!!
Sending you hugs x

 

[mama22]

Egbert I know how you feel I had to give up my job as ALL and a bit more of my wage would have covered childcare for my 2 young girls. no point at all and for anyone thinking I'm living of benefits I don't claim anything as hubbies wage is up and down with bonus so I WILL NOT END UP having to pay back.

We will both find something that works with family I have trained as a CDC so fingers crossed x

 

[egbert]

Thanks mama. It is Very difficult. I am leaving a good job that paid well and worked with my childcare and nothing local will pay half as much. If I go further afield they won't be flexible round the childcare. And we can't move.

What's a CDC? I am considering a home course or two. Only I don't know what I want to do!

Anyway, a bit scared to stand on the scales today after yesterday's naughtiness. I did feel happier for a while, after the one bottle of wine. Then OH came home grumpy and ended that good mood.

 

[mama22]

It's a Cambridge diet consultant, I am still looking at training for something to work from home but not sure what I want to do

 

[egbert]

Thats the problem I am having, finding a work from home job I will actually enjoy.

Anyway - feeling happier today. I went out with my SIL and had a few drinks, which in turn made me come home and have a bit of an emotional breakdown all over OH about redundancy etc. Clearly what I needed and now feeling much more relaxed today. OH has told me nt to panic and he will look after me Not that I doubted it, but still, good to talk!

And after 2 days of naughty my weight has not changed so back to the grindstone today and one more stone to lose!