I've decided to quit Dukan - need advice

[wkdstepmum]

SBLovin I have a sister just like that, she tries every trick in the book to make me fall off the wagon when I'm actually starting to look slim again! It is so important to stick with your plan, whatever that plan might be, because not only will you prove to them that YOU CAN DO IT but more importantly you'll prove it to yourself x We all have down days, we're all losing at different rates on here but you can and will lose weight if you just have a little faith in yourself x

 

[Maintainer]

I've really enjoyed reading this thread and the advice you've received.

One thing I wanted to add was that I lost most of my weight prior to Dukan, on my own self devised diet (low calorie initially, moving towards low starch but still lots of fruit and veg towards the end). I too had to deal with all the saboteurs, comments, eye rollers etc. etc. even without their being able to specifically criticise the Dukan diet. Those people will be there irrespective of which plan you're following and, if I might be so bold, they're actually easier to ignore when in ketosis than when not... or when we have a drink under our belts.

My confidence in myself grew as my weight diminished, and I've never found it difficult to order a diet drink while others get silly... (boring perhaps, difficult not!).

These people are often feeling guilty at their own weight/alcohol consumption/reliance whatever and merely want you to join them in their obesity, binge drinking antics.

As I once said to an over persistant wine glass filler upper over here: "I'm interesting enough without it!". (Probably untrue, but it worked better than the four "no thanks" which had preceded it!)

Good luck whatever you decide.


Sblovin - I'm really sorry to read you're having such issues with lack of support in your family too. I don't know how much weight you need to lose (perhaps update your User CP? see our FAQ section), or whether your MIL is overweight herself, but I'm sure you'd get a lot of support here if you talked to us.

x

 

[HanSpan]

I stopped drinking several years ago, basically because I had a poor relationship with alcohol - I'm not for a minute suggesting any of you have that problem!

I found several ways to get people to back off pushing me to have a drink (as I continued to go pubbing just drank diet coke). Given my reputation as a boozer people found it very surprising and many (particularly those inclined to overindulge themselves) found it discomforting.

Several people I told the truth - while it isn't the truth for you telling people you are concerned you were drinking too much tends to shut them up Many 'acquaintances' I told I was taking medication that disagreed with booze - if they still complained I told them of the effects I'd encountered with combining the two which usually worked (and wasn't entirely untrue). With men telling them it contributed to a girly problem often did the trick, although many of my male friends aren't at all squeamish so not so much with them as they wanted the gory details!

Basically if you want to go to the pub and don't want to discuss your diet but want not to drink make something up! You could even tell them you are pregnant/might be pregnant/are trying to get pregnant - this is bound to take their minds away from what you are drinking!
To start with for me it was difficult (not the not drinking but the constant explaining) but it didn't take long before everyone got used to it and now its just the very rare times when I bump into someone I've not seen for ages.

Sorry - I seem to have gone a bit off track - but what I really wanted to say to those of you suffering a lack of support for your endeavours to get healthy is this - your friends and family should support you, but many will feel threatened and push back. Only you can know who will react in what way but a white lie from you is surely no worse than meanness from them and if it helps you through until a new way of life is ingrained I say fib away, and do so about food too! Plenty of conditions and drugs that react with some foods - suspected pre-diabetic, investigating IBS, possible intolerance to......
I realise its probably not possible with a partner - husband or whatever - but might work for an interfering MIL?

Good luck.

 

[jaqys]

sblovin, I hope you dont have to spend too much time with your MIL. I'll bet she does equally annoying things when youre not dieting.
Many of us have eating issues here and those sort of people make us worse, however much we want to be strong those people dont half add to the internal voices.

Diets cause us to make changes, and thats good, as we need to change, if we didnt, we wouldnt need to be here. Some of the changes are for life and some are for the duration of the weightloss stage.
We all have to decide what sacrifices we can make, and for how long, and we need to take a look at what changes we cant make and whether theres a weightloss program will accommodate them.
And if we're not willing to make changes, we're probably not ready for weightloss.

 

[sblovin]

All of you are wonderful and have convinced me to not give up. Yeah, I don't hang out with my MIL very much, mostly because she is too far away. And, even if she was close, she'd drive me crazy. I teach jazzercise, and because of my dedication to that she insists I am exercising too much. Well, that ain't the truth since I have a 14 month old. Lord knows I could be in the gym a lot more, but I just don't want to give that time up from my little boy.

I think I am going to take a little hiatus for the next week and a half, instead of just "quitting." The reason is because I'm out of town for the next two weekends, living in hotels, and eating at restaurants. We are on a budget, so I might just order ala carte and see if I can remain close to the DD without breaking the bank or causing weird looks from friends.

Maybe I was just having an "off" day but I was really down and I greatly appreciate the supportive thoughts and comments. It re-inspired me. I only have about 10-12 pounds to lose. I realize that may seem like nothing to some of you, but to me it's a big deal. I have put my body through hell before having a baby. I had liposuction twice, and was a lifetime weight watchers member, and exercised alot. Having a baby changed ALL of that. So, it's depressing when I have spent major, major, major money only to not fit into the size 10 jeans that I once coveted. When it's "only" 10-12 pounds, I feel like a failure because it's "only 10-12 pounds." But it seems like a huge milestone right now.

I also really struggle with losing a few pounds, and then having a "cheat" and putting back 3-4 pounds in a matter of days. That's really hard on my self-esteem. I suppose it means I shouldn't cheat, but like I said before, unsupportive family members and tempting food make it difficult. I guess I need to stop whining and shut up. Either I'm gonna do it, or I'm not. :sigh: Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[October]

Hi all – It has taken me a few days to get back on here and you’ve all had quite the discussion!

I should say that I am only going to partly come off the diet – I’m not going back on to bread/pasta or anything similar. All I’m going to do is basically go PV for most of the time - I will keep up with 2 PP days each week but the rest of the time I am going to eat salads and veg along with my protein.

I don’t feel like I’ve explained the drinking thing very well either – I am planning to just have a small amount of booze, not wine by the bottle (G & slimline tonic is a fave and not as sugary as most options) It might sound silly to those of you with more sensible lives, but I can honestly tell you that my social life in London really does involve loads of bars and restaurants. I make good choices and know what I can and can’t order at restaurants, and as for drinking – don’t worry, I’ve had diet coke up to my eyeballs and am very good at refusing the pressure that is constant in this town of alcoholics!
I do think though that it was making me unhappy to never be able to agree to dates out or do things on the spur of the moment – I have a husband who has been super-supportive, be he is one of these annoying types who has no trouble refusing food when he’s trying to lose weight and can just leave things on his plate, or go home hungry. I can’t.

So basically, I’m going with my own life/diet compromise and will cut myself a little slack. I realise that this will result in slower weightloss, but that is ok if overall I feel it is more sensible and more easy for me to stick to for longer. If I get to my 10 kg loss goal within 3 months I will be very happy – but let’s see!

Have just come back from the supermarket and planned our meals for the week – excited about it all and not giving up!