JanD's dietchef diary

[JanD]

Hi Laura!

Gosh you're doing REALLY well!! It looks like you've definitely found your way forward!!! It's great when you get into the 'zone' and can stay really focussed. I was there before christmas but am finding it really hard to get back there now!! I WILL do it though!

Keep up - the good work ..... 2 days till the official weigh in - can't wait!!

 

[bryal99]

Thanks!

I am focussed at moment but I do tend to get complacent once I have shed a few stone and then I start to let things slip. I have done WW and SW in the past and will generally start really well and then start to lose my way. I think I am the opposite of an anorexic, as even now, I will look in the mirror and see myself as fairly slim and clearly I am completely deluded !! LOL
I have always struggled with my weight and for the past 12 years I have either been pregnant, breastfeeding or having a miscarriage and so I have always found an excuse to over indulge, albeit it in a healthy way I eat a healthy diet and then add in all the crap on top!
I have now had the tubes tied so no more babes and need to get my weight back to a healthy level. I am crap at exercise and again I can always find an excuse not to do any. You are right if you really want to do it you will find time! Also from a health point of view I have a congentital heart defect and need to....get my act together - I am already an older mum and so I want to see my children grow up and have their own children etc..
This is why I need you guys for the support as I have got to make this a complete lifestyle change and not look at it as a diet as such. All my skinny friends - either exercise (almost obsessively!) or hardly eat (and are very disciplined!).
Good to be on line at the same time as you and have a 'real' conversation!

 

[jrabbit81]

Hi Laura,
I totally agree, being able to come on this forum and talk to people who understand and are doing the same thing is so important for me. Every day I worry will I fall off the wagon today, and I really hope not. But we are all here for each other which is good! Are you enjoying the food?

 

[JanD]

Hi Laura,

You might be the opposite of anorexic .... I am a bulimic amnesiac .... I have the binges but forget to throw up!!! Shouldn't joke about these things.....

This is a great forum for support and understanding. There will be someone here who has experienced everything you're going through and is willing to share the wisdom that brings. Somehow joining this felt like more of a new start to me than lots of other things that were meant to be new starts at the time.....!!

WE WILL get there!!!

 

[bryal99]

Yep!!

Yes I am really enjoying the food! I love healthy meals and hate all the preservatives and rubbish that they tend to pack in to convenience food and these meals are all that I love! So far I haven't eaten anything that I don't like! I could easily eat double or treble the quantity but hey that is the problem............
I prefer smaller portions of tasty food - I never really been into consuming vast quantites of rubbish!!, LOL - therefore I should be slim! unless it is wine or chocolate and even then I am still a bit choosy! I can be quite a fussy mare! What a contradiction - I do eat too much of everything! OMG I am soooooo rambling...........
It is so good to be conversing with you. My DH trys his best but it is not quite the same!

 

[JanD]

We posted at the same time Laura - just in case you thought I hadn't replied to you

 

[bryal99]

Yes. Jan you are right we probably shouldn't joke about these things .............and I did think twice about posting the comment ! But you have to have humour or at least I need it !!! on a daily basis! in vast quantities.............I just have no control:happy036:
The thing that gets me down about my weight is not that I look awful because as I said I see myself as ok (deluded) but that I can't fit into my old clothes and I feel more comfy in a trackie and when I go shopping I can always find clothes I like in a size that doesn't fit me - or else it looks good on the hanger and does absolutely nothing for me! Most of my friends say (in the nicest possible way) that I carry my weight well and cover it up! Not in a tent/smock way .......... I think........... I am going off on one again........I have just reread this and I sound really confident and cocky and I am soooooo not like that! I don't like going to the pool with the children and I find it hard to find clothes that I like to fit, in the way I want them to and I really want to look healthy. I am generally a happy cheerful soul and I don't tend to let my weight get me down. But then I have a lot to be grateful for.....:grouphugg:and you are all there to help me !

 

[bryal99]

Sorry Jan and Jessica I am really slow at typing so you probably think I have gone - but I haven't!! You can't get rid of me that easily! My DH is obvious feeling a bit jealous, of my new relationship with the computer- as he just came over to see who I was talking to!!! and wanted to know if it is a man...

 

[JanD]

I don't think you're slow at typing!

It's great the support available here isn't it??

I think it's great that you feel good in yourself .... I too feel and look fantastic from the inside .... it's when I catch sight of myself and wonder who the heck the fat bird is that I realise I have to do something about it. AND when my clothes look flippin 'awful!

Tell your OH he's got nothing to worry about - quite the reverse, if yoyu can sound of/get rid if dieting 'stuff' here you'll have more quality time for him!

 

[bryal99]

Must go now!

Have to go as still need to do dinner money and get the school bags homework and uniforms out..............It is never ending and I feel as tho' I don't ever finish all the jobs I set myself each weekend! A womans work etc... When I did SW in the summer I had no idea that there was this support available on line - they certainly don't promote it in class. It is good knowing you are all there! Night! Night! :4635::4635:Oh yes I :heartpump: these little smiley things! In case you hadn't guessed.

 

[JanD]

Night Night Laura :zz:

Oh how I remember those Sunday nights ironing uniforms and sorting out dinner money and/or packed lunches ..... I got really tired of it at the time but in many ways I miss it - mainly because it shows how old I am and it's really weird that it's my children doing it now!!!!!

 

[kelfie1402]

hi all, i understand what you all are saying to, my weight gets me so down its untrue sometimes its like all that i think about is the quickest way to shed it, at the same time as wanting something nice to eat!! my first pregnancy put all my weight on and i lost my self confidence. i had 7 miscarriages untill i happily gave birth to my second son in feb 08 he was 6 wks early and was in special care with a feeding tube but he was ok. then at 6 mths he got meningitis and the same week my grandad died it was horrendous i had to go from the hospital where my son was to the hospital where my grandad was and sit with him while he passed then back to the hospital where my son was - what a year!! my baby will be 1 nxt mth and my eldest 6!! in june doesnt it fly. think all that made me give up on dieting for a while as was just drained and ate like crazy then of course xmas so now hopefully this is it light at the end. want to change my life want to lose weight, complete my degree and be happy with my children by not feeling embarrased to take them swimming etc.. sorry went on abit!! hope you are all well congrats on weight lossx

 

[JanD]

Oh Kelfie - what a year!!!

It sounds as though you can now focus a little bit though, having come through all that now's the time for you and getting to where YOU want to be.

We're all here for you .... what diet are you doing?

 

[kelfie1402]

hi jand , im 11 days in to diet chef x got the 5 wk for 4

 

[JanD]

OH DUR!!! How thick am I!!!! I've 'spoken' to you before but got carried away with your story this time and didn't realise.

I'm so sorry, please forgive me

 

[kelfie1402]

thats ok!! lol - kinda gave my life away!!

 

[JanD]

I think that's easy to do on here where you feel people understand you ... and I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing!! Quite the opposite in fact.

You've been through an awful lot and I imagine it's actually quite refreshing to come on here and talk to people who don't know you. You can sometimes feel as though you're burdening friends and family..... I'm sure they don't feel that but you may.

Feel free to 'share' whatever you want to anytime!

 

[kelfie1402]

thanks thats really kind, i have just been looking at the inspiration slide show on the blue toolbar OMG everytime i feel like i wanna eat and think i cant do it im gonna look at that its amazing! x its weird how weight changes the way you look so much when i look at myself i just accept the way my face is now when really its not that way at all and looking at them pics on there reminds you of how you can look x

 

[JanD]

I know they're marvelous aren't they, really inspirational! It's good that you can accept yourself the way you are as well though ... I think it's really good that you can look at yourself and feel happy with what you see. That doesn't mean you don't want to change it but hating what's there now isn't helpful at all!

What diet are you on?? ......... (JOKE!!!!! )

 

[CarolineM]

Good morning

Kelfie - accepting yourself for being you and not hating what you see in the mirror, imho, is the first step towards gaining control over so many things, including eating and weight. It opens up a whole new doorway to a path of inspiration.

Jan - I've lost track of when WIs are for people hehe! Is your's on Weds? Hope you had a good weekend and are enjoying your break. I got to lie-in this morning, but have now got a headache and waiting for the Disprin to kick in before starting work. Hope you have a good day