Hey everyone, how you all doing?
Thanks for everyones messages, it's much appreciated
Well, I'm definitely on the road to recovery, although I'm scared to say that coz I don't want to jinx myself. I've been feeling emotionally rubbish too, being stuck in the house does that to me, I dwell on things, get all low and self hating.
And the whole illness took me by surprise, I wasn't prepared for eating again. With only having 1 add a meal week and 2 meals after that, the whole eating thing put me out of my comfort zone.
So, re-reading that last paragraph it sounds like an excuse. The long and short of it is for the last 4 weeks I've been really reckless with eating. I felt sick when eating "food" - good food choices made me throw up, I felt nauseous and the bile/acid was and is a bit awful. So feeling down I turned to chocolate, and I found that it didn't make me feel ill. But I've been binging really badly. And this compounded with feeling low - I've been really reckless.
Last week I had a complete melt down because I was so worried about having to attend a fertility appointment this week and I was terrified that my BMI would be higher than the guidelines. Turns out I'm not but I have gained a whopping 1 stone 8lbs.
And boy I can feel everyone of those 22lbs. I actually feel heavier. When I left the hospital I had gained 6lbs which I was quite pleased with being so sore, bloated and full of the air they had pumped in me... But this has spiralled out of control.
Feeling low and poorly combined with eating huge amounts of chocolate (which incidentally, the sugar rush was making me feel anxious) I've basically felt rubbish.
So on Wednesday I officially started back. I'm not doing TS, I'm doing WS.
So far I've lost 6lbs since Wednesday. 3lbs yesterday and 3lbs today. Which is all quite astonishing really. I've got 17lbs left to lose til I'm back to my weight 6 weeks ago.
And I really need to address and find a way to control myself when I get to goal coz I've done great, I was 4lbs away from losing 9 stones. When I get to goal I will have lost 12 stone. I was 4lbs away from having 3 stone to goal. I've done great. But I just ate chocolate constantly, I won't maintain if I do that when I get to goal.
Well, I bet you haven't missed the massive posts huh everyone lol.
I've missed you all xxx
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