Jessicarabbit72's diary.........
- Thread starter Jessica Rabbit72
- Start date
Jessica Rabbit72
Gold Member
Hey everyone hope you are all okay - will come and check on you on your thread Katy and hope your migraine has gone (ouch!)
Well yesterday was rather a nice but horrible day - all will become clear as I recount all the events.....
I dropped the kids at holiday club so I could go and do my errands including a trip to the dentist and sorting my car out and clothes shopping for work (not possible with energetic 8&6yr olds!)
Over the easter weekend I had a massive clearout of all my clothes ranging from size 10-18 (the joys of yo-yo dieting) and chucked a load which also made me realise I dont have anything that fits to go back to work- serves me right for stuffing my face really.
So I went into quite a few shops and had a horrible shock as to what would fit and what wouldnt. Mainly because I have lived in jeans this last few months and have only gone up 1 size with all my overeating but when I was trying on shift dresses the size 20's I couldnt do up. Now as Julie pointed out last night my bust is big so that would account for some of it but it wasnt that entirely I was struggling round my belly aswell and I look pregnant with it it has grown so much.
So I ended up buying a few skirts and tops and shoes and a bag but on reflection I panic bought quite a few skirts of a variation on a theme and 'when' I get my head in gear on this diet and the weight starts coming off I will have a shed load of skirts that dont fit.
SO Im back to the shop today to return quite a few of them and stick with just 2.
It gave me the shock I needed I think to get me sorted and realise I really do HAVE to do the diet rather than me just saying it as I think I have had had ostrich syndrome with everything going on this last few months and habe not got to face it and deal with it. As Julie said last night when you are in work you are in more of a routine and its easier so lets hope eh!
so last night Ju came round and we had a lovely catch up and today Im off to return these clothes and pick up a baby present for the new arrival next door and then off to meet some of the childrens friends at the local park and go for a walk with them in the woods behind so will be back later on about 7ish
hope you all have a good day
xxx
Well yesterday was rather a nice but horrible day - all will become clear as I recount all the events.....
I dropped the kids at holiday club so I could go and do my errands including a trip to the dentist and sorting my car out and clothes shopping for work (not possible with energetic 8&6yr olds!)
Over the easter weekend I had a massive clearout of all my clothes ranging from size 10-18 (the joys of yo-yo dieting) and chucked a load which also made me realise I dont have anything that fits to go back to work- serves me right for stuffing my face really.
So I went into quite a few shops and had a horrible shock as to what would fit and what wouldnt. Mainly because I have lived in jeans this last few months and have only gone up 1 size with all my overeating but when I was trying on shift dresses the size 20's I couldnt do up. Now as Julie pointed out last night my bust is big so that would account for some of it but it wasnt that entirely I was struggling round my belly aswell and I look pregnant with it it has grown so much.
So I ended up buying a few skirts and tops and shoes and a bag but on reflection I panic bought quite a few skirts of a variation on a theme and 'when' I get my head in gear on this diet and the weight starts coming off I will have a shed load of skirts that dont fit.
SO Im back to the shop today to return quite a few of them and stick with just 2.
It gave me the shock I needed I think to get me sorted and realise I really do HAVE to do the diet rather than me just saying it as I think I have had had ostrich syndrome with everything going on this last few months and habe not got to face it and deal with it. As Julie said last night when you are in work you are in more of a routine and its easier so lets hope eh!
so last night Ju came round and we had a lovely catch up and today Im off to return these clothes and pick up a baby present for the new arrival next door and then off to meet some of the childrens friends at the local park and go for a walk with them in the woods behind so will be back later on about 7ish
hope you all have a good day
xxx
Jessica Rabbit72
Gold Member
well I have had quite a productive weekend in that I have done 4 loads of washing stripped and remade 4 beds and had them all drying on the line which has put me in quite a cheerful mood and the sunshine has helped a heck of a lot.
Have managed to get rid of most of tempting foods and eaten all my favourites this weekend in preparation for tomorrow for my restart. The kids are back in school on Tues and Im back to work so its got to be down to business and get this weight off once and for all.
I know I have been saying it every week since xmas but this is it now I cant stay this weight in work and carry all my stuff round it will kill my back - so tomorrow is d-day and then at least when I am back at full hours in work as Im doing a phased return over 4 wks I should be 21lbs lighter AND my friend is coming to stay for the weekend in 4 wks and I NEED to be lighter for when she visits.
So thats my plan to get as near to 21lbs off in the next 4 weeks and I will have to do it in nice small chunks so I dont lose the will to live (AGAIN) lets pray I get into fat burning quickly.
I have also had a big sort out in my bedroom too and a rearrange aswell so I can have to laptop in here and keep online when I need to cos I know I will definitely have wobbles.
sleep well everyone
xxx
Have managed to get rid of most of tempting foods and eaten all my favourites this weekend in preparation for tomorrow for my restart. The kids are back in school on Tues and Im back to work so its got to be down to business and get this weight off once and for all.
I know I have been saying it every week since xmas but this is it now I cant stay this weight in work and carry all my stuff round it will kill my back - so tomorrow is d-day and then at least when I am back at full hours in work as Im doing a phased return over 4 wks I should be 21lbs lighter AND my friend is coming to stay for the weekend in 4 wks and I NEED to be lighter for when she visits.
So thats my plan to get as near to 21lbs off in the next 4 weeks and I will have to do it in nice small chunks so I dont lose the will to live (AGAIN) lets pray I get into fat burning quickly.
I have also had a big sort out in my bedroom too and a rearrange aswell so I can have to laptop in here and keep online when I need to cos I know I will definitely have wobbles.
sleep well everyone
xxx
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Thinking of you Jess. Am starting wednesday, as have some meal challenges tonight & tomorrow & only one pack left... can see CDC wednesday, & hopefully will get a week of SS & then move up to 810. And hopefully will feel better by the too. Off to work outside in the watery sunshine... better than the watery rain, I guess!
Have a good day Jess and stay STRONG... sending you lots of good luck vibes. You can do it!
xxx
Have a good day Jess and stay STRONG... sending you lots of good luck vibes. You can do it!
xxx
Jessica Rabbit72
Gold Member
DAY 1 - 12/04/2010
MON 12/4/2010
DAY 1
WEIGHT – 220lbs
CHANGE – 0lbs
Thanks Bess - hope you are feeling a bit better today xx
Well restart day today managed to put on 2lbs over the weekend eating all my favourite foods in preparation for SS so have adjusted all my tickers and goals and my head is in the right place this time! I read my diary from last year to help me get the positive vibes and realised how good it was to be in control rather than food controlling me so will be good to give food a bit of a break. and so good to see that the scales did say lighter numbers as it feels like I have been this weight for ages - well actually I have maintained at this weight now for about 2 months. Im ever so good at maintaining - just 6st too heavy!!!!
My HB is off work today and made me a piece of toast for breakfast and I thanked him and said I was starting this morning and proceeded to make my hot chocolate tetra.
Now previously when he has done this I have eaten it so I didnt upset him as he isn’t known for making an effort in the kitchen dept, and with relations between us a bit strained, but I AM STRONG today and resisted.
Need to make sure I get my water down me today - have quite a busy day ahead as getting the kids ready for back to school tomorrow after 2 1/2 wks off - oh to be a child again!
TOTM has arrived this morning so pleased about that and that should help the loss for this week yippee!
Hope you are all okay will be back around later
xxx
MON 12/4/2010
DAY 1
WEIGHT – 220lbs
CHANGE – 0lbs
Thanks Bess - hope you are feeling a bit better today xx
Well restart day today managed to put on 2lbs over the weekend eating all my favourite foods in preparation for SS so have adjusted all my tickers and goals and my head is in the right place this time! I read my diary from last year to help me get the positive vibes and realised how good it was to be in control rather than food controlling me so will be good to give food a bit of a break. and so good to see that the scales did say lighter numbers as it feels like I have been this weight for ages - well actually I have maintained at this weight now for about 2 months. Im ever so good at maintaining - just 6st too heavy!!!!
My HB is off work today and made me a piece of toast for breakfast and I thanked him and said I was starting this morning and proceeded to make my hot chocolate tetra.
Now previously when he has done this I have eaten it so I didnt upset him as he isn’t known for making an effort in the kitchen dept, and with relations between us a bit strained, but I AM STRONG today and resisted.
Need to make sure I get my water down me today - have quite a busy day ahead as getting the kids ready for back to school tomorrow after 2 1/2 wks off - oh to be a child again!
TOTM has arrived this morning so pleased about that and that should help the loss for this week yippee!
Hope you are all okay will be back around later
xxx
Jessica Rabbit72
Gold Member
Hey everyone sorry not been on but things not going quite to plan on phased return to work and had to work 2 days this week instead of 1 so did the last 2 days. Wont bore you with the details but am going back up to full hours alot quicker than expected but not much I can do about it really never mind!
Have had the TOTM from hell and felt awfully drained and obviously tired andf stressed with going back to work so Im afraid am off wagon again but not bingeing so thats good!
have made a date for Monday to restart as have big family birthday party on Sunday for Nephew and I didnt eat last year at it so will be this year.
I know I keep saying it but I do need to start as Im now getting regular pains in my feet and my legs and ankles keep swelling up and I have been having to lie on my bed with my legs in the air at night to help them and I know its because of my weight its now getting unmanageable. I cant believe I have let it get this far really.
So am off to do the tesco shop now and catch up with a friend later so will be back around later before Julie comes round tonight.
Hope you are all okay
xxx
Have had the TOTM from hell and felt awfully drained and obviously tired andf stressed with going back to work so Im afraid am off wagon again but not bingeing so thats good!
have made a date for Monday to restart as have big family birthday party on Sunday for Nephew and I didnt eat last year at it so will be this year.
I know I keep saying it but I do need to start as Im now getting regular pains in my feet and my legs and ankles keep swelling up and I have been having to lie on my bed with my legs in the air at night to help them and I know its because of my weight its now getting unmanageable. I cant believe I have let it get this far really.
So am off to do the tesco shop now and catch up with a friend later so will be back around later before Julie comes round tonight.
Hope you are all okay
xxx
Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
Hey hun. Are you starting back today? It's my first day back and im thrilled to have taken the step. Hope you're ok xxx
Jessica Rabbit72
Gold Member
Hey everyone sorry been awol for a whil - have been reading but cant get my head in the zone AT ALL.
In some ways some would say Im doing well cos Ive maintained my weight within a couple of lbs for the last 9 weeks but unfortunately its at 225lbs and not 140 where it should be!!!!! and thats exaclty what I was oputting months ago so nothing has changed there then!
Mondays are always good but then by friday it has already gone downhill and the weekend is full of 'treats'.
I watched the sally morgan (psychic) gastric band operation programme last night and it really hit a nerve and some of the phrases were ringing so true. She was looking at herslef in the mirror and talking about her body and she said this body is the equivalent of an alcoholics body with cirrhosis of the liver or an heroin addicts body with needle marks all up the arms and over the body.
She then went on to say how her weight was disabling her and that is how I feel now. everything is such an effort. This heat is killing me but I just cant get my head in the right place to do something about it. For weeks I have had the intention of recontacting my CDC to get started but just cant make that phonecall.
I suppose it isnt helping that things arent great with HB and not that that is an excuse but I know it isnt helping the siuation.
Writing this down now has helped quite a bit and I am waiting for a tesco shop to be delivered so once I have had that I will go and ring her to see when I can go and see her.
Am so sick of the dieting merry -go-round. Am seriously thinking of getting a hynotherapy session for the gastic band as I definitely cant afford a proper one and the thought of having the surgery scares the living daylights out of me its a bit too drastic but the hypnotherapy version sounds alot gentler and cheaper. Ive been surfing the net about it. I'm also looking into hypnotherapy for breaking the yo-yo dieting cycle with food aswell cos thts where my problem mainly lies - giving an emotional benefit to food and this needs to stop - see I know all the right things I just cant put it into practice!
Hope you are all okay
xxx
In some ways some would say Im doing well cos Ive maintained my weight within a couple of lbs for the last 9 weeks but unfortunately its at 225lbs and not 140 where it should be!!!!! and thats exaclty what I was oputting months ago so nothing has changed there then!
Mondays are always good but then by friday it has already gone downhill and the weekend is full of 'treats'.
I watched the sally morgan (psychic) gastric band operation programme last night and it really hit a nerve and some of the phrases were ringing so true. She was looking at herslef in the mirror and talking about her body and she said this body is the equivalent of an alcoholics body with cirrhosis of the liver or an heroin addicts body with needle marks all up the arms and over the body.
She then went on to say how her weight was disabling her and that is how I feel now. everything is such an effort. This heat is killing me but I just cant get my head in the right place to do something about it. For weeks I have had the intention of recontacting my CDC to get started but just cant make that phonecall.
I suppose it isnt helping that things arent great with HB and not that that is an excuse but I know it isnt helping the siuation.
Writing this down now has helped quite a bit and I am waiting for a tesco shop to be delivered so once I have had that I will go and ring her to see when I can go and see her.
Am so sick of the dieting merry -go-round. Am seriously thinking of getting a hynotherapy session for the gastic band as I definitely cant afford a proper one and the thought of having the surgery scares the living daylights out of me its a bit too drastic but the hypnotherapy version sounds alot gentler and cheaper. Ive been surfing the net about it. I'm also looking into hypnotherapy for breaking the yo-yo dieting cycle with food aswell cos thts where my problem mainly lies - giving an emotional benefit to food and this needs to stop - see I know all the right things I just cant put it into practice!
Hope you are all okay
xxx
Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
Hi.....lovely to hear from you. Well done on maintaining. I know it's not where you want to be but lots better than gaining more weight.
Have you thought of talking to your doctor or having a few counceling sessions to find out where your eating habbits are stemming from It may seem obvious to us but they dig deep and it could really help. Sometimes talking to a stranger from your heart is all it takes to spur you on.
CD is tough and i know i've been out of the cd zone far more than I've been in it. When i'm in it boy am i in it but when i'm out of it...... im so far out of it. it has to be the right time doesn't it.
My wedding is in 2 weeks and I'm a whole stone up still. By tuesday wi i wanted to have lost a stone and im 3 lbs off, then the 2 weeks up to the big day I wanted to lose the last half stone. fingers crossed. Some brides do have the weight drop off the week before.
But hun i'm only in the zone as its such a close short goal. Why don't you look at an event or book something special and make it sooner rather than later to give yourself a short goal to aim for. Ahhh you know the drill!!!
Hope you're ok. It's great to see you posting. arg .....gotta get going so just a quick post from me xx
Have you thought of talking to your doctor or having a few counceling sessions to find out where your eating habbits are stemming from It may seem obvious to us but they dig deep and it could really help. Sometimes talking to a stranger from your heart is all it takes to spur you on.
CD is tough and i know i've been out of the cd zone far more than I've been in it. When i'm in it boy am i in it but when i'm out of it...... im so far out of it. it has to be the right time doesn't it.
My wedding is in 2 weeks and I'm a whole stone up still. By tuesday wi i wanted to have lost a stone and im 3 lbs off, then the 2 weeks up to the big day I wanted to lose the last half stone. fingers crossed. Some brides do have the weight drop off the week before.
But hun i'm only in the zone as its such a close short goal. Why don't you look at an event or book something special and make it sooner rather than later to give yourself a short goal to aim for. Ahhh you know the drill!!!
Hope you're ok. It's great to see you posting. arg .....gotta get going so just a quick post from me xx
*butterfly*
Silver Member
Oh Jess, sorry to hear you are struggling so much. It is so difficult to get back into losing when you've had a break. I'm not sure theres any real trick to it, we all have different things that motivate us.
Have you tried the really strict writing down everything/weigh/measure etc so to try to reduce snacks creeping in. No, ignore me.... I'm sure you have. It really is more about getting your head there. Mine wasn't but i promised myself to really do a few strict days ss/810 ish and after really forcing myself my head is starting to come on line again and get focused. I do still talk to myself "i will not eat that lump of chocolate" all the time though!
Whats helping me is lurking back on here, minis has always been my saviour in tough times. If I'm not here for more than a week or so at a time, chances are i am being naughty!
I sound like an advert for this book recently, but Gillian Riley "Eating Less" is good for the head stuff. Longer term changes stuff. Talks a lot about changing focus of loss from appearance to health issues, it really hit a raw nerve with me, don't want this to be another flash in the pan diet, wher i regain. Time will tell if it will be successful...!
Hope you get back onto whatever plan you decide and start to feel better about yourself. xx
Have you tried the really strict writing down everything/weigh/measure etc so to try to reduce snacks creeping in. No, ignore me.... I'm sure you have. It really is more about getting your head there. Mine wasn't but i promised myself to really do a few strict days ss/810 ish and after really forcing myself my head is starting to come on line again and get focused. I do still talk to myself "i will not eat that lump of chocolate" all the time though!
Whats helping me is lurking back on here, minis has always been my saviour in tough times. If I'm not here for more than a week or so at a time, chances are i am being naughty!
I sound like an advert for this book recently, but Gillian Riley "Eating Less" is good for the head stuff. Longer term changes stuff. Talks a lot about changing focus of loss from appearance to health issues, it really hit a raw nerve with me, don't want this to be another flash in the pan diet, wher i regain. Time will tell if it will be successful...!
Hope you get back onto whatever plan you decide and start to feel better about yourself. xx
Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Jess, I read your post on Lizz's thread.... well done on the weight loss, but I so totally understand how you feel, we know we are putting on weight and need to do something about it but for some reason we cant.... I had no clothes to wear (not quite literally, I bought some leggings) and thought that would make me lose the weight but it didn't, I wanted to be slim when I went to South Africa last week but I just kept putting the weight on resulting in me having to buy bigger clothes for my trip.... now I dont even have the incentive of having no clothes to wear.... I think I will have to CD again at some point, I really need the quick results, but I also lasted 5 days, my sister had her baby Christened and I cooked all the food and served it and never ate a thing, just drunk a shake, but 3 days after this I just gave in eating a massive kebab..... I am also too lazy to even exercise like I used too..... why are we like this, why can we not get motivated!!
curlywurly1234
Cambridge Consultant
Jess,
hon... it was so lovely chatting to you the other day....... and I havent seen you on there again to say Hello.. I hope you have managed to get back into it hon.. Its so hard but so worth it when you feel so much better about yourself and the way you feel etc.. its getting back into the zone!
Im here whenever you want to chat or some inspiration...
Hang in there hon you can do it I know you can xxxx
hon... it was so lovely chatting to you the other day....... and I havent seen you on there again to say Hello.. I hope you have managed to get back into it hon.. Its so hard but so worth it when you feel so much better about yourself and the way you feel etc.. its getting back into the zone!
Im here whenever you want to chat or some inspiration...
Hang in there hon you can do it I know you can xxxx
