Journey To A Healthier Me

[Lotty Big Botty]

chicken skin is only "bad" in the sense it is full of calories but is not bad for you, we all need fat in our diet. we need to readjust our view of "fat" in our diets. human bodies require a full range of things, including fats x so dont b too hard on yourself xx

I think im more upset about the way I did it. I realise maybe I shouldnt have denied myself it in the first place if it just makes me scoff/binge on it in the kitchen after ive eaten my full dinner.

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Off to see the demon bit.ch nurse today.

My practice nurse is such a cow, she always has a go at me and always makes me feel bad about my weight. I go to get my contraceptive pill and she always makes me feel like she doesnt want to give it to me....... What would she rather me do, get pregnant????

I work in the health profession myself, and I would never (intentionally) make anyone feel the way she makes me feel. Esspecially as I consider myself as being sensible for being on the pill.

God knows how ill feel when I finish there.... Normally I feel so down I binge eat. But hopefully not today... I must be good, and I must do some exercise this afternoon instead.

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

I just dont get it.....

Had my nurses appointment, she had a moan but I didnt feel too bad afterward.

I got home with the intention to run that afternoon. I was feeling a little chilly so put the kettle on for a hot drink. I decided to have a highlight hot chocolate and an aero biscuit and account for the calories.... Lovely jubly.

No..... One chocolate buiscuit biscuit (99cals) turned in to 4!!!! Yes 4!!!

And then whilst out and about I bloody well go to burger king :-( I slipped back to my old ways, I ate 2 regular meals to myself.

I feel disgusted with myself

I feel like I just needed the tinyest excuse known to man. Its like im posessed but on the other hand theres part of me that knows exactly what im doing.... I just dont get it.

Im so stuffed and disgusted with myself. According to mfp Im already 900 calories over my daily allowance :-(

I have no idea what im going to do tonight. I cant tell my other half what ive done....normally I would of just eaten my dinner aswell, (even though that would be another 500-600 cals). I cant do that!!! Ek!

I hate myself sometimes!

 

[Sazbirl]

It's hard isn't it, I'm exactly the same, I went out sat night and are pizza while drunk at Half 3 in the morning!! Then drank Sunday too once my hangover had gone because some of my family came to ours for a drink, so yesterday my hangover was a double whammy and I had a mcdonalds!!! I feel So swelled up in my belly today, I hate what I do to my poor body, I feel tired and sluggish because of it.
Maybe if you can rev yourself up for it, go for your run and then eat the cals you burn for your tea? I know you will still be over but it might make you feel a bit better.

I've started a new diary in the silver members section it's called: my diary if you want to come and find me? Xxx

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Thanks saz... It makes me feel like a real freak. That however much I want something (good health, fit body etc) I cant seem to control myself.

I took your advice and have just been for a 30 minute jog around my local park. Im still going to be way over calorie limit for today, but at least its something.

Gonna tell the boyfriend I had my main meal at lunch time and just have something light this evening (If anything). Shame I cant open up to him really. Its hard enough to admit it to myself and you guys. Ive forced myself to record it on mfp!!!

 

[time2go]

Lotty! I could have written this! Just recently my mil brought in some biscuits for the kids, I opened then and had two. And then had that many I then had to finish the packet so husband wouldn't know we even had them. I then had a huge dinner with him and then the chocolate he brought in for me.

Also. I will go to the.shops and buy a four pack of chocolate, ie wispa n est two one way home n then have my chocolate with husband and a cuppa. Just a few examples of my greed. Finish ur day as best u can and right it off x

 

[Sazbirl]

Thanks saz... It makes me feel like a real freak. That however much I want something (good health, fit body etc) I cant seem to control myself.

I took your advice and have just been for a 30 minute jog around my local park. Im still going to be way over calorie limit for today, but at least its something.

Gonna tell the boyfriend I had my main meal at lunch time and just have something light this evening (If anything). Shame I cant open up to him really. Its hard enough to admit it to myself and you guys. Ive forced myself to record it on mfp!!!

You aren't a freak you are human & it's hard, but at least you've don't something positive towards your new healthy lifestyle by going for your run, I think you should eat a bit of something, even if you tell your OH that you ate your main meal for lunch, if you don't have tea, you might get so hungry that you binge, which will set the whole cycle off again. Well done for going running x

 

[oasis6918]

I just dont get it.....

Had my nurses appointment, she had a moan but I didnt feel too bad afterward.

I got home with the intention to run that afternoon. I was feeling a little chilly so put the kettle on for a hot drink. I decided to have a highlight hot chocolate and an aero biscuit and account for the calories.... Lovely jubly.

No..... One chocolate buiscuit biscuit (99cals) turned in to 4!!!! Yes 4!!!

And then whilst out and about I bloody well go to burger king :-( I slipped back to my old ways, I ate 2 regular meals to myself.

I feel disgusted with myself

I feel like I just needed the tinyest excuse known to man. Its like im posessed but on the other hand theres part of me that knows exactly what im doing.... I just dont get it.

Im so stuffed and disgusted with myself. According to mfp Im already 900 calories over my daily allowance :-(

I have no idea what im going to do tonight. I cant tell my other half what ive done....normally I would of just eaten my dinner aswell, (even though that would be another 500-600 cals). I cant do that!!! Ek!

I hate myself sometimes!

Ah hun! Don't feel like that, yes it's a big blow out but so what (in the grand scheme of things) just accept today was a 'day off plan' and start again tomorrow, remind your self why your losing weight in the first place. If you get wound up about it and feel guilty then your just going to make yourself feel worse and binge even more - that's what I do xx

 

[oasis6918]

Thanks saz... It makes me feel like a real freak. That however much I want something (good health, fit body etc) I cant seem to control myself.

I took your advice and have just been for a 30 minute jog around my local park. Im still going to be way over calorie limit for today, but at least its something.

Gonna tell the boyfriend I had my main meal at lunch time and just have something light this evening (If anything). Shame I cant open up to him really. Its hard enough to admit it to myself and you guys. Ive forced myself to record it on mfp!!!

Yeah but that's good! I find admitting it on mfp helps me accept it and move it on. It 's also like therapy I also hide what I eat sometimes x

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Think ive got my head back together.

Ive cooked up what I was going to have this evening for dinner (so that the chicken doesnt go to waste) and put it in a plastic pot to put in the freezer for another night.

The boyf came home, I started explaining that Id had my dinner at lunch, he said oh right and stopped listening to the rest of my story (he hates it when I tell long drawn out stories)!!!!

 

[oasis6918]

Think ive got my head back together.

Ive cooked up what I was going to have this evening for dinner (so that the chicken doesnt go to waste) and put it in a plastic pot to put in the freezer for another night.

The boyf came home, I started explaining that Id had my dinner at lunch, he said oh right and stopped listening to the rest of my story (he hates it when I tell long drawn out stories)!!!!

I go mad at hubby when I try talking to him then he starts talking to the kids or messing around, then he says 'I'm listening to you so don't get in a mood etc' YET whenever his mum does it to him he kicks off lol, so I say 'see how you like it!' It's frustrating but at least you don't have to feel bad about telling him x

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Feeling positive today.

Back at work this morning for my 4 shifts (2days,2nights). Although theres always temptation at work I cant binge (which is good for me) so hopefully ive got at least 4-5 days to stick to plan 100%.

Xxx

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Weigh in today and ive lost 2lbs

Im happy with that considering ive struggled keeping to plan this week.... Looking forward to what I can do when I can behave myself!

Im working most of the weekend so luckily no temptation of cheaky take aways for me!! The boyfriend has offered to cook me dinner sunday evening after I wake up from my night shifts. So that will consist of pizza and garlic bread.... Not ideal but ill just let him do what he likes (dont want to discourage him).

Hope everyone else who weighs in on a friday is doing well.xx

 

[MissAmy]

Hi Lotty.
Read all your diary, and you sound like me.
I'm a binge eater, and due to working really awkward shifts found it really hard to get into a eating routine. I'd not eat for most of the day and then get home and eat everything in sight. I also work really long stints without rest days (today is dat 8 of 14) so find it hard to shop for healthy food and have been relying too much on takeaways.
Decided three weeks that i'm 31 and missing out on so much by being nearly 21st.
I lost 2lb week one, 3lb last week and my next weigh in is this afternoon when i wake up (on night shift atm) and get to Boots.
I'm calorie counting and watching my portion size but am still eating nice meals of an evening with my BF.

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Hiya amy, nice to hear your story. Shift work is so hard on the body, it sometimes feels imposible to keep in a healthy routine. Im the same as you, on a day shift I finish work at 7 (after 12hours) and its to late for me to cook or do anything (especially when you have to be up at 4.30 the next morning). I was relying on takeaways because it waw easy. Id go to the chippy after work, or to mcdonalds for breakfast after a night shift (mmmmmm mcdonalds breakfast!!!). Now I seem to live off weetabix and other cerial.... When I get home from work I just have a bowl of weetabix and warm milk.

Good luck with your weight loss journey. Are you on myfitnesspal (im lotte770 if you have)? And have you set up a diary so we can follow your progress??

xxx

 

[MissAmy]

Hi.

Started an intro thread in Wemitts but never a diary.
Sent you a MFP friend request.

Off to walk into town for week three weigh in.

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Good luck.

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Well ive had a good few days, been 100% for past 5 days we've got home made pizza tonight which is really high in calories. Normally I would have half, 4 slices, but tonight im only going to have 2 slices with a salad (i can then have my other 2 slices tomorrow).

Got given a big box of chocolates at work last night..... Looked on mfp and they average about 60cals for each little tiny choccy.... Normally I would of scoffed the whole box :-o hopefully I can show some controll... Share them with the OH and make them last for a while.

Ordered my self a heart rate monitor from amazon this afternoon to get accurate calories burnt and to track my running progress. Hopefully it'll help motivate me.

Hope everyones having a nice weekend. We're looking forward to watching the olympic closing ceremony tonight..... Hopefully I can stay awake for it!!!!

xxx

 

[Lotty Big Botty]

Change of plan... Off to harvester tonight!!! Bloody men, wish they'd make up there minds!!

Health choices.... Healthy choices!!!

 

[CharlieDelta]

I'll add you on mfp binge eating is my downfall too at work I'm great - but behind closed doors at night....!!