I've been thinking a lot lately back to when I first started SW.
I started putting weight on after I had my daughter.
I pinged back into shape when I had my son, but as he got older, he was a really difficult toddler, and I was very depressed; something didn't seem right with him, and noone would beleive me.
When my daughter was born, he was 3 1/2 andwas just getting worse. He was nearly impossible to potty train, he smeared p**, had screaming fits, was obsessed with trains.
I was at my wits end, and the pounds started creeping on.
When he started school, I had only just got him toilet trained. I felt a complete failure.
I read something in a magazine, and asked for him to have assessments for Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and he was diagnosed with ASD just before his 6th birthday.
I was devastated.
And then the fight for him began.
The fight for his school to recognise his Autism. The fight to stop him being bullied. The fight for disability payments.
It seemed never ending. I forgot about myself- just trying to cope with 2 kids and working nights was hard enough.
When he was about 9, I learned to drive, which made everything easier, trying to get about with an autistic son and a daughter who was showing signs of having problems, was not easy.
Around this time, I also was fighting to have him statemented so he could have extra help in school.
It also made me lazy, and the weight started piling on.
I wasn't happy, I tried doing my own diets, but by lunchtime I was heading for the fridge.
I would finish my night shifts and eat 2 or 3 mars bars for energy.
My daughter was later diagnosed with Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder and Social Communication Difficulties.
If anything, she was more difficult than my son. I really wasn't coping, food was my coping mechanism. A loaf of crusty bread, and a litre of orange juice and whole slab of cheese would be heaven after I'd dropped the kids off to school.
The dress sizes slowly started creeping up.
Then just after Christmas, the button on my size 16 trousers popped off.
I weighed myself. 13 stone. Oh my god.
Just then, a SW leaflet was dropped through the door. the next day I joined a group after my nightshift. I didn't tell anyone, after so many failed attempts, I thought I could do it in secret.
I was relieved I was only 12 stone; my scales were rubbish! But it was the shock I really needed.
I was very quiet in group. I hated joining in. I sat in the corner at the back, and just hoped the consultant would go past me quickly.
If I had a gain, I would go home.
I lost weight very slowly, it was very frustrating at times.
When I finally told everyone I was doing SW, my daughter would wave donuts in front of me and tease ' you can't have this!'
I started doing the Body Magic awards after another member said I was always out on my bike, why wasn't I filling out fit logs? I got to target
13 months later, and had my platinum award as well.
I also was starting to gain confidence, and I really wanted to become a consultant so I could help other people lose weight.
I didn't get it the first time, but another yr later I did. I left my interview walking on air.
Setting up my own group has been really hard work, but I love it.
In the next few weeks, one of my members is going to get to target, and I'm so excited for her. She's already lost 3 1/2 stone, and is 4 pounds away.
Well that's a bit more about me, and why staying at target is so important, why group is so important.
Group helped me find out who I really was when my confidence and self esteem were at rock bottom.
Slimming World hasn't just changed my life, it's changed me.
Standing in front of all those people, playing games, getting them motivated, talking to them...I could never have done that before.
My kids are great, I love them to pieces. Now I'm finally learning to give myself a bit of time.