LeaE's Jelly Wobble

Yes I noticed that about mine and yr stats x if u look at u and me I was 20 stone and I had lost a similar amount as u in as many weeks x I know this sounds stupid but it's so comforting for me to have u chatting with me because we seem to be about the same and I don't feel so alone with someone who's similar to me x I'm daft aren't I x plus with yr goals u seem to drop dress sizes at the same weights as me too x how tall are u I'm 5'5 and abit xx
 
Not sure what's wrong with me tbh ! Must admit I feel a little bit hormonal but feel a little bit sad and alone x at home in bed as I'm on nights and generally feeling abit sorry for myself x oh well sod it x
I'm gunna keep writing my diary even if I get no replies as it started for me and it really helps me stay on track and I'm not wobbling from this diet x off to walk the dogs !! So I can think why I feel this bad because nothing has happened
 
LeaE said:
Yes I noticed that about mine and yr stats x if u look at u and me I was 20 stone and I had lost a similar amount as u in as many weeks x I know this sounds stupid but it's so comforting for me to have u chatting with me because we seem to be about the same and I don't feel so alone with someone who's similar to me x I'm daft aren't I x plus with yr goals u seem to drop dress sizes at the same weights as me too x how tall are u I'm 5'5 and abit xx
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I know I feel The same :)

I'm 5ft 9 x
 
LeaE said:
Not sure what's wrong with me tbh ! Must admit I feel a little bit hormonal but feel a little bit sad and alone x at home in bed as I'm on nights and generally feeling abit sorry for myself x oh well sod it x
I'm gunna keep writing my diary even if I get no replies as it started for me and it really helps me stay on track and I'm not wobbling from this diet x off to walk the dogs !! So I can think why I feel this bad because nothing has happened
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Aw Hun so sorry you are feeling down! Walking the dogs will prob do you good, release some endorphins. We all gave r down days on here, I certainly do! Just busy yourself and you will start to feel better, promise. Xx
 
Hope u ok hunni x
 
LeaE said:
Not sure what's wrong with me tbh ! Must admit I feel a little bit hormonal but feel a little bit sad and alone x at home in bed as I'm on nights and generally feeling abit sorry for myself x oh well sod it x
I'm gunna keep writing my diary even if I get no replies as it started for me and it really helps me stay on track and I'm not wobbling from this diet x off to walk the dogs !! So I can think why I feel this bad because nothing has happened
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Hey hun-keep smiling and just remember how amazingly you are doing and how many people you are helping along the way. You have to be proud of yourself-you have taken control of what is going into your tummy for weeks now. For me, a serious lover of food, there is no bigger accomplishment! Just keep focused on where you were this time last year weight wise and where you are already-and, if you dare, where you will be this time next year. . .it is so exciting! I know that i am about to enter a hard week as it will be totm and last month that was an awful week so i am just trying to keep hold of the happy feelings. X x x
 
God Im so stupid x walked the dogs and had a think went on my own to clear my head ! I was reading diaries on here and was abit why dont any of these ppl like me why dont i have a group of friends on here with the banter and was self loathing thinking no one likes me its because im fat and moody and all i do is moan everyone else is setting up groups and teams and im all alone and no one loves me no one cares ! yes omg im such a fool ! self distructive sometimes most defo because half way through my walk i was like get a frecking grip for a start its cyber world and in life u have loads of great family and friends and 2nd how ungreatful am i with the ppl that do take the time to read my diary and support me and congratulate me jesus im stupid and its hard to explain because i think thats the reason im so fat because i go in bouts of self disruction and hatred then i feel alone and then i eat ! mmmmmmmmmmm and this time i didnt i went a walk and re assessed and came out feeling abit better x i just thought so what if no one ever comments on my diary that shouldnt really in the grand scheme of life upset u and then i log on and guess what my friends on here did comment they did see how i was and now i feel happy but a little bit stupid x im so sorry for being so ungreatful and so awful and well just so self distructive but least im learning how to break that cycle and im thinking maybe i have felt really not worth it for so long that i need to get my head around the fact that i am worth it and i just need to stop going into this dark place x
I dont think it helps that my weigh in should be today and its something i really look forward to and have become reliant on as a boost and a way to continue forward on this diet its like a incentive and a bit of praise when i see them pounds go down and spesh seen as this week im hanging on getting officially to be in the 16s as my present official weight is 17st 1lb ! god im over sensitive and pathetic but its all what keeps me going with no food and with the stress of the week im missing my weigh in x anyway i went round to my mums and put myself on her scales and im weighing in on her scales at 16st 8lbs x and i felt a relief because even though my cdcs scales are not kind and always weigh me heavier than everyone elses and its an evening weigh in surely they wont weigh me 6lbs heavier than all the others surely not x so thank the lord im defo in the 16s and from now im going to obcess with getting in the 15s now ! and to say i was once 20stone to get in the 15s is really amazing for me and will mean another dress size drop so all good im re focused and raring to go and cant appologise enough for my irrational stupidness and hopefully this is a turning point where combating my demons xxxxx
 
LeaE said:
God Im so stupid x walked the dogs and had a think went on my own to clear my head ! I was reading diaries on here and was abit why dont any of these ppl like me why dont i have a group of friends on here with the banter and was self loathing thinking no one likes me its because im fat and moody and all i do is moan everyone else is setting up groups and teams and im all alone and no one loves me no one cares ! yes omg im such a fool ! self distructive sometimes most defo because half way through my walk i was like get a frecking grip for a start its cyber world and in life u have loads of great family and friends and 2nd how ungreatful am i with the ppl that do take the time to read my diary and support me and congratulate me jesus im stupid and its hard to explain because i think thats the reason im so fat because i go in bouts of self disruction and hatred then i feel alone and then i eat ! mmmmmmmmmmm and this time i didnt i went a walk and re assessed and came out feeling abit better x i just thought so what if no one ever comments on my diary that shouldnt really in the grand scheme of life upset u and then i log on and guess what my friends on here did comment they did see how i was and now i feel happy but a little bit stupid x im so sorry for being so ungreatful and so awful and well just so self distructive but least im learning how to break that cycle and im thinking maybe i have felt really not worth it for so long that i need to get my head around the fact that i am worth it and i just need to stop going into this dark place x
I dont think it helps that my weigh in should be today and its something i really look forward to and have become reliant on as a boost and a way to continue forward on this diet its like a incentive and a bit of praise when i see them pounds go down and spesh seen as this week im hanging on getting officially to be in the 16s as my present official weight is 17st 1lb ! god im over sensitive and pathetic but its all what keeps me going with no food and with the stress of the week im missing my weigh in x anyway i went round to my mums and put myself on her scales and im weighing in on her scales at 16st 8lbs x and i felt a relief because even though my cdcs scales are not kind and always weigh me heavier than everyone elses and its an evening weigh in surely they wont weigh me 6lbs heavier than all the others surely not x so thank the lord im defo in the 16s and from now im going to obcess with getting in the 15s now ! and to say i was once 20stone to get in the 15s is really amazing for me and will mean another dress size drop so all good im re focused and raring to go and cant appologise enough for my irrational stupidness and hopefully this is a turning point where combating my demons xxxxx
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We all have moments like that but remember we are all here for the same reasons we are all overweight and all want support from this forum, some people will be friendlier than others but that is life! I will always try help and encourage you whenever I am on here, just as you have done with me. You have a few regulars to support and comment on your diary which is great. Also, congrats for getting into the 16's stone bracket :D xx
 
LeaE said:
God Im so stupid x walked the dogs and had a think went on my own to clear my head ! I was reading diaries on here and was abit why dont any of these ppl like me why dont i have a group of friends on here with the banter and was self loathing thinking no one likes me its because im fat and moody and all i do is moan everyone else is setting up groups and teams and im all alone and no one loves me no one cares ! yes omg im such a fool ! self distructive sometimes most defo because half way through my walk i was like get a frecking grip for a start its cyber world and in life u have loads of great family and friends and 2nd how ungreatful am i with the ppl that do take the time to read my diary and support me and congratulate me jesus im stupid and its hard to explain because i think thats the reason im so fat because i go in bouts of self disruction and hatred then i feel alone and then i eat ! mmmmmmmmmmm and this time i didnt i went a walk and re assessed and came out feeling abit better x i just thought so what if no one ever comments on my diary that shouldnt really in the grand scheme of life upset u and then i log on and guess what my friends on here did comment they did see how i was and now i feel happy but a little bit stupid x im so sorry for being so ungreatful and so awful and well just so self distructive but least im learning how to break that cycle and im thinking maybe i have felt really not worth it for so long that i need to get my head around the fact that i am worth it and i just need to stop going into this dark place x
I dont think it helps that my weigh in should be today and its something i really look forward to and have become reliant on as a boost and a way to continue forward on this diet its like a incentive and a bit of praise when i see them pounds go down and spesh seen as this week im hanging on getting officially to be in the 16s as my present official weight is 17st 1lb ! god im over sensitive and pathetic but its all what keeps me going with no food and with the stress of the week im missing my weigh in x anyway i went round to my mums and put myself on her scales and im weighing in on her scales at 16st 8lbs x and i felt a relief because even though my cdcs scales are not kind and always weigh me heavier than everyone elses and its an evening weigh in surely they wont weigh me 6lbs heavier than all the others surely not x so thank the lord im defo in the 16s and from now im going to obcess with getting in the 15s now ! and to say i was once 20stone to get in the 15s is really amazing for me and will mean another dress size drop so all good im re focused and raring to go and cant appologise enough for my irrational stupidness and hopefully this is a turning point where combating my demons xxxxx
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Oh hun. We really do all have days like that-i think that is why i have stopped writing my own diary. Lea-don't take this the wrong way but i really think you should get yourself some counselling whilst you are doing this diet so that you can sort our head and body at the same time. Doing it now also means you won't turn to comfort food. You have recognised you have some security issues so now you have to find out why and what to do to resolve them. Even if you have tried it before-try again-you are a stronger person now. X x x
 
Thank u guys and yes it was totally irrational x I just have like 5 mins every now and again that I just think the most stupid things ever but who doesn't ! I think it's human nature to have feelings like this especially at a time of change and extremity like this diet along with life's day to day troubles it's when u can't rationalise them and control them that it becomes a bigger issue eg over eating cutting yrself self neglect etc x I do air every emotion on my diary in an open and honest state so I do get yr concerns but I do feel that maybe its just how everyone is but maybe not I'm not sure x I will consider counselling again but the journey I'm on here is learning me more and more about myself every day and making me rethink what actions I would take usually and different strategies I can put in place to make my actions less self destructive x part of my job is to help ppl with these kind of strategies I just need to be more productive in putting them in place lol thank u to u all I am sorry but my moment of madness is out of the way and it was prob helped along by ever increasing psyco phone calls from the in laws c how are u all x good I hope what day u all on x
 
Oh and they stem from several events as a child regarding my parents as well as two very bad relationships and I don't mean bad as in they weren't romantic and they shagged someone else I mean bad bad police assistance and court case bad but I won't bore u with that rubbish well unless u really want to know but I have the reason I have the plan I just need to sort it out and part of removing food from my life and getting into a new relationship and allowing my doors to open once more is part of the healing progress and me rising from the ashes that have suppressed my happiness for a few yrs now x realising what I have got in my life and how very fortunate I am xxxxxx
 
Lea u are very real and very true in your diary, this is what its here for and u have no reason to apologise, if people didn't want to read then they won't, I may not reply to your diary every day but I read it because I want to and not because I have to! U have home through so much in your life by the sounds of it that I am surprised u are as sane as u seem! I find this diet gives me time to think, I suppose when I was shuvvling food in my mouth my brain was just keeping occupied but now I don't have that I sit and think about life and love and the future I suppose that's why I read a lot of books now to take me away from my life and focus on something else other than my own troubles!
I don't get a lot of people who write on my diary, but u have to remember its for you only, yes its great encouragement that someone replies and I love seeing a reply, but I do mine for me, to help me get through the day! Big hugs hunni! Keep going u are doing brilliantly x
 
ayshaahmad said:
Lea u are very real and very true in your diary, this is what its here for and u have no reason to apologise, if people didn't want to read then they won't, I may not reply to your diary every day but I read it because I want to and not because I have to! U have home through so much in your life by the sounds of it that I am surprised u are as sane as u seem! I find this diet gives me time to think, I suppose when I was shuvvling food in my mouth my brain was just keeping occupied but now I don't have that I sit and think about life and love and the future I suppose that's why I read a lot of books now to take me away from my life and focus on something else other than my own troubles!
I don't get a lot of people who write on my diary, but u have to remember its for you only, yes its great encouragement that someone replies and I love seeing a reply, but I do mine for me, to help me get through the day! Big hugs hunni! Keep going u are doing brilliantly x
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I know I know and when I'm in a same mood I totally agree with u I was just having a moment of self pity and seen as in my house I am spending my time supporting the bf taking crap off his family and having to keep my mouth closed which for me is defo not easy and looking after the kids I think it just drove me to self pity ha ha crazy lea has submerged but the mature level headed one is back ha ha and I still haven't eaten I'm holding onto cd wagon with all I have and I suppose in a world which seems stressful ATM and I can't vent off to the bf then my diary is all I have so that's y it gets the worst of it x when I was like this before cd I would eat and not think anymore about it but seen as that's not an option and seen as like u said I have more time to think I walk the dogs and have grown so much as a person and infact have felt with situations alot more level headed than I would before this diet x
This is my diary and yr right it's for me and ppl are more than welcome to join in and I love that but yeah if they don't like me then fine just whatever because I'm not a pretender and if I feel crap I will write I feel crap as it saves me from reaching for the biscuit tin doesn't it and I'm 7 weeks into this without one slip up or break so it must be working for me and when u have so many months to go on this diet u gotta do all u can to stay on target x
U my dear are a god send my vd angel that talks so much sense and you write so many things that I identify with and because yr ahead of me in this weight loss thing it helps me to foresee where I will go x that missy is priceless x I check in on u all the time and have often read yr diary from beginning to end spesh on my night shift x and for that and yr kind words I'm greatful x but I am sorry I seem so ungreatful in my previous posts I was just being stupid x
 
Not ungreatfull at all u say what's on your mind end of, glad u are feeling better and more sane ;) U are not far behind me luvvie, u will fingers crossed be in the 16s tomorrow and me in the 14s on Tuesday, BUT I have been doing cd a year in June and u have only been doing it 7 weeks so that's a mega achievement for u x
 
LeaE said:
God Im so stupid x walked the dogs and had a think went on my own to clear my head ! I was reading diaries on here and was abit why dont any of these ppl like me why dont i have a group of friends on here with the banter and was self loathing thinking no one likes me its because im fat and moody and all i do is moan everyone else is setting up groups and teams and im all alone and no one loves me no one cares ! yes omg im such a fool ! self distructive sometimes most defo because half way through my walk i was like get a frecking grip for a start its cyber world and in life u have loads of great family and friends and 2nd how ungreatful am i with the ppl that do take the time to read my diary and support me and congratulate me jesus im stupid and its hard to explain because i think thats the reason im so fat because i go in bouts of self disruction and hatred then i feel alone and then i eat ! mmmmmmmmmmm and this time i didnt i went a walk and re assessed and came out feeling abit better x i just thought so what if no one ever comments on my diary that shouldnt really in the grand scheme of life upset u and then i log on and guess what my friends on here did comment they did see how i was and now i feel happy but a little bit stupid x im so sorry for being so ungreatful and so awful and well just so self distructive but least im learning how to break that cycle and im thinking maybe i have felt really not worth it for so long that i need to get my head around the fact that i am worth it and i just need to stop going into this dark place x
I dont think it helps that my weigh in should be today and its something i really look forward to and have become reliant on as a boost and a way to continue forward on this diet its like a incentive and a bit of praise when i see them pounds go down and spesh seen as this week im hanging on getting officially to be in the 16s as my present official weight is 17st 1lb ! god im over sensitive and pathetic but its all what keeps me going with no food and with the stress of the week im missing my weigh in x anyway i went round to my mums and put myself on her scales and im weighing in on her scales at 16st 8lbs x and i felt a relief because even though my cdcs scales are not kind and always weigh me heavier than everyone elses and its an evening weigh in surely they wont weigh me 6lbs heavier than all the others surely not x so thank the lord im defo in the 16s and from now im going to obcess with getting in the 15s now ! and to say i was once 20stone to get in the 15s is really amazing for me and will mean another dress size drop so all good im re focused and raring to go and cant appologise enough for my irrational stupidness and hopefully this is a turning point where combating my demons xxxxx
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Hey lovely Leanne :)

I'm your friend!!! I may be cyber but I'm real (honest!) I feel like u do sometimes like I'm not in a group or don't really have a role within the group but you r right for both of us it is in our minds and we do have people around us on here and jn real life who care. It's great because you are really analysing yourself so that u understand yourself better. This will b a massive help to you to keep the weight off. Fantastic about the 16dt I'm sure you will c them on cd scales soon too. You have done and r doing so well. Xx

Ps team ideal is always looking for new members, always lots of space as we r shrinking rapidly :)
 
Leanne you offer some much don't put your self down!! Glad you have re- evaluated the situation cos I for one would miss your little post and encouragement!! It's the bloody diet twists your melons man!! Lol x. Well I'm looking forward to my little trip. I feel as huge ad a beach whale! Nothing I can do now! Silly me for not just sticking it out! I could be in the 13's hey ho! I'm hoping for nice weather as its been raining! Ive hit my beauty bits in on we'd, nails and tan! Ha a tan! I know I should be getting one over there x
 
ayshaahmad said:
Not ungreatfull at all u say what's on your mind end of, glad u are feeling better and more sane ;) U are not far behind me luvvie, u will fingers crossed be in the 16s tomorrow and me in the 14s on Tuesday, BUT I have been doing cd a year in June and u have only been doing it 7 weeks so that's a mega achievement for u x
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Omg the 14s wow just the thought of that makes me excited that is such an achievement u must be so proud xxxx and yes I can't wait to weigh in in the 16s but now I'm getting myself focused and ready for aiming into them 15s I would like to do it by the end of June and I know my losses will slow and I'm due a really bad week but I'm keeping focused and I am determined to get there x as for catching you up you must be joking your like nearly 2 stone further than me and I have only done 34lbs you have done loads more xxxxx I am feeling loads better and considering I'm at work and have a flu like thing coming on I'm doing well lol hope u are too just going to catch up on yr diary now so xxxx see u soon x
 
WillpowerWoman said:
Hey lovely Leanne :)

I'm your friend!!! I may be cyber but I'm real (honest!) I feel like u do sometimes like I'm not in a group or don't really have a role within the group but you r right for both of us it is in our minds and we do have people around us on here and jn real life who care. It's great because you are really analysing yourself so that u understand yourself better. This will b a massive help to you to keep the weight off. Fantastic about the 16dt I'm sure you will c them on cd scales soon too. You have done and r doing so well. Xx

Ps team ideal is always looking for new members, always lots of space as we r shrinking rapidly :)
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Thank u love and I know I was being radic the minds a cruel but wonderful thing isn't it x thank u for yr concern and hope yr ok too xxxxxxxx
 
vadey said:
Leanne you offer some much don't put your self down!! Glad you have re- evaluated the situation cos I for one would miss your little post and encouragement!! It's the bloody diet twists your melons man!! Lol x. Well I'm looking forward to my little trip. I feel as huge ad a beach whale! Nothing I can do now! Silly me for not just sticking it out! I could be in the 13's hey ho! I'm hoping for nice weather as its been raining! Ive hit my beauty bits in on we'd, nails and tan! Ha a tan! I know I should be getting one over there x
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Ahhh thank u Vardy xxxxx I'm good feeling much better and all refocused x oohhhhh holidays soon I'm so jel and will miss you and yr input so the min u land on British soil you better be ready to spill and boast about yr girly holiday xxxx I'm sure u don't look like a whale at all u muppet yr not as bloody fat as me so be thankful for small miracles mrs !! As far as diets are concerned maybe when u have been in yr hols and had a blow out u could try cd again and I'm here to support u but I think u should keep the wicked mother in law in the dark lmao xxxxx hope yr ok speak soon Leanne x
 
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