Licking the Lid of Life....my esoteric diary

[MollyMolly]

I'm very laid back with them - far more so than I was with my own children lol - but it's different isn't it? I'm not saying I never discipline them, but on the very rare occasions that I do raise my voice, they sit up and take notice. I'm of the firm opinion that over shouting at children just de-sensitises them so they take no notice of anything you say (or should that be shout lol). If it's rare and only used as an absolute 'line in the sand' last resort then they realise it's important when you do it Otherwise I go with benign neglect

I always worked full time but initially paid for childcare and then my husband (their step dad) stayed at home to look after them until the youngest was about 13 (it made more sense that way as my earning potential was much higher and we had the maintenance from their father to supplement our income).

At 9 though I think they are just beginning to really assert their independence - I know that my friend's 9 year old (who is an adorable laid back little soul) HATES her collecting him from school and makes a huge fuss about it because he thinks he's old enough to come home by himself. I'm betting your grandsons would be just the same, who ever was collecting them.

 

[janetelizabeth]

No choice about walking home alone from school as they go to a small country school so have to be ferried back and forth. I have insisted they carry their own lunch box, book bag, water bottle & jumper to the car. That is a bit of a controversial subject between us but I'm insisting as they are 9 now. Otherwise it's two of everything and grandma doing a double or drop!! Anyway tomorrow they start after school football again so I don't pick up for an extra hour so that greatly shortens my time with them. I really hope that as they grow up they'll be like their older (half) brother...he is was a very different child...and there again we have the 'twins' thing in the equation!
Oh...sorry...enough of this subject from me!

 

[lickthelid]

Oh I missed all that. Funny it's a relevant subject. My in laws are great. Well MIL is anyway and will take little one whenever we want (although we are yet to have her stay over there) but I recently had a very emotive conversation with my dad because he did very little. Granted he works full time and I get that but I was worried that he was missing out and so was little one because even when he did have time it would be spent doing anything but. He has a partner and she offers regularly but they are busy people and I hate to impose. I work but wasn't looking for childcare from them (I paid for that and am grateful I did as she had an excellent nursery and was very ready for school as a result) but was looking for them to be an active part in her life. Things have improved since then. Marginally but perceptively.

 

[janetelizabeth]

Thanks for sharing too Sam. Feels like it's an issue on both sides. We have the same thing with different partners.
I know my daughter doesn't 'like' my husband, of 20 yrs...so that doesn't help matters. In a lot of ways she a selfish little girl just wanting her mum for herself and not include him in anything. She's told the twins that he's not part of our family, that really hurts me. Her own dad shows no interest in his grandsons unless she goes there to visit. And has them very, very rarely, only if specifically asked. His wife gets on well with the twins I'm told.
My only issue with the twins is their constant fighting and arguing between themselves and rudeness. Take that out of the equation and I'm more than happy to help out. My daughter's mil is actually 70 now, lives alone so has more time to give.

 

[lickthelid]

I'm beginning to regret my decision to stay put in my current school whilst taking on extra at the college I want to be at. I just want to leave my current school. For a variety of reasons that are too multiple to go into here. I am there all day today and the prospect fills me with dread. It's not healthy.

 

[Happy Holidays]

Awww that's awful, is it possible to make changes now?

 

[Willbeslimjen]

Oh it's horrible when a job makes you feel like that. Have you spoken to anyone at the school about it? Can you get them to make any changes as happy holidays says?


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[janetelizabeth]

I agree, is there anyway you can make the switch earlier?

 

[MollyMolly]

That's not good Sam We spend so much of our lives at work and being somewhere that you hate is soul destroying and really drags you down. As the others have said, is there any way to hasten things along, or even maybe supply teach until the college position is available?

And Janet - I can't believe that your daughter told her children that! My girls in particular weren't my husband's biggest fans when they were teens, but they have a great relationship now they are adults (and realise that he wasn't stopping them doing what they wanted out of anything but love and concern) and the littles have no idea at all that he isn't biologically related to them - he's just Granddad and they adore him. Families eh? The source of both our greatest pleasures and greatest pain

 

[janetelizabeth]

Very true Molly, very true. I once said to my son "Maybe when she matures she will be better." His reply was "I don't think we have that long mum!!"

 

[MollyMolly]

Very true Molly, very true. I once said to my son "Maybe when she matures she will be better." His reply was "I don't think we have that long mum!!"

LOL! I said much the same to my (very loved) step sister about our troublesome shared half sister only last week. Jealousy is the root of her attitude problems too, but I lack either the patience or inclination to connect with her I'm afraid. We cannot control how others behave, only how we ourselves choose to let it affect us, and I'm inclined towards retreat. Harder of course when it's your child rather than a sibling xx

 

[MollyMolly]

BREAKING NEWS!!!

I think I may have inadvertently cracked the perennial how to make a decent 'white sauce' problem :-D Tonight I made cauliflower soup (in my soupmaker lol) - 1 cauliflower (chopped), 2 onions (finely chopped), 1 tablespoon lazy garlic, salt pepper and enough vegetable stock to cover. Cook until soft, blend until smooth and then add 1 tub of LowLow cheese spread and blend again. Result? A thick soup/ thin white sauce ... creamy, cheesy, divine and serves 4 for 1/2 a HExa or 3 syns :-D

If you wanted it as a thicker sauce, adding a floury potato should do the trick, and of course a vegan friendly/ lactose intolerant friendly cheese spread/ soft cheese would work instead of the LowLow (the original recipe was for primula and that doesn't even melt )

 

[Happy Holidays]

BREAKING NEWS!!!

I think I may have inadvertently cracked the perennial how to make a decent 'white sauce' problem :-D Tonight I made cauliflower soup (in my soupmaker lol) - 1 cauliflower (chopped), 2 onions (finely chopped), 1 tablespoon lazy garlic, salt pepper and enough vegetable stock to cover. Cook until soft, blend until smooth and then add 1 tub of LowLow cheese spread and blend again. Result? A thick soup/ thin white sauce ... creamy, cheesy, divine and serves 4 for 1/2 a HExa or 3 syns :-D

If you wanted it as a thicker sauce, adding a floury potato should do the trick, and of course a vegan friendly/ lactose intolerant friendly cheese spread/ soft cheese would work instead of the LowLow (the original recipe was for primula and that doesn't even melt )

Sounds good, I know some people blitz tinned macaroni cheese to make a cheese sauce, but for me that's not a tweak I'm comfortable doing.

 

[MollyMolly]

Same here HH - I can't be doing with treaks and pasta over pasta is a serious carb overload! This has the beauty of being mainly superfree

Plus - I can't wait for lunchtime to roll around so that I can have it for soup (and I've only just eaten my breakfast!)

 

[lickthelid]

That saucy soup sounds lovely!

In response to your replies I'm kind of stuck now. When I turned down those interviews I knew I was re-committing for the year because they both dovetail and I can still be there for my share of pick ups and drop offs for little one. Changing now, even if i retained the college and sacked off the school runs a multitude of risks, mainly that I might not find something that fits around college, that the hours may mess up being there at the end of the day (I really don't want to be absent all the time) and that something like temping in a school lacks the stability and income that we are desperate for. Mine is the stable income. I wouldn't earn enough just at the college alone. It's just eating away at me but I think if I tell myself that this is it, one last year, regardless of whatever else happens, I can stick it out. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully

 

[janetelizabeth]

If I could just say...yes, be there all you can for collecting your little one! :bighug:One year isn't that long in the scope of things....IMO.

 

[MollyMolly]

Vegan Mozzarella? Your wish is my command Vegan mozzarella: is the holy grail of pizza toppings finally here? | Life and style | The Guardian



Edited to add that I honestly don't spend my entire days scouring the internet for food and recipes

 

[janetelizabeth]

Molly I read the comments at the bottom of that article...some weren't very appreciative. I wonder if it will be available in HFS?

Hi Sam, hope all is well with you?

 

[janetelizabeth]

Yes I've seen them too but they all seem to be wheat. I did buy one from the local small bakery but put it in the freezer...not brave enough to try it yet!

 

[Sunflower1981]

did you get your veganbox today?? you are the only other person I know of who gets them so I like to check in each month! got a few yummy things in there today, all of which I had to test a little of!